I Would Like To Dedicate This Next Post To All The Pedophiles Who Dress Up In The Cloth And Play ” Father ” To Our Little Children..

catholic chucrch violates

” If anyone causes one of these little ones those who believe in me-to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”

Matthew 18:6- NIV

Jesus Christ


Not everyone is aware of the numbers on this, but almost every child / teen that is molested ends up depressed, addicted, hopeless or suicidal. If they do manage to survive the sick abuse that goes on in the Catholic church-they usually end up on the street running with gangs. It is rare that anyone survive this and live a decent life.

So perhaps Jesus is speaking of this when He said the words above. At any rate, I encourage you – if you have ANY part of getting your kids, or anyone’s to a catholic church-remember this statement from Jesus Christ.

There are currently around 30k priests in the USA under investigation for sexual crimes against minors. And listen to this- those are THEIR numbers so imagine what they may be in reality.

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It just is not worth it. Get you kids away from these freaks who use God’s name to sodomize 5 year olds.

Just Say No.

TJ

Are We Really Aware That What We Put In Our Stomach Has A Direct Link To Our Mental Health ?

The Link Between Stomach And Head

 

With all the garbage we hear at doctors offices from that fantasy book known as the DSM – it would do us some good to learn about non- fantasy issues with our health in general .Look into some reality based concerns about the food we eat and how it can actually cause things like depression and anxiety.

Tj

Time to Evaluate Clock Review or Assessment Management
The words Time to Evaluate on an ornate white clock, counting down to the moment a manager will perform an evaluation, review, assessment or reevaluation of a worker, property or process

There Is Nothing Like A Name – Dropper To The Put The Flame Out In A Conversation..

Desperation and insecurity. These are terms that describe people who feel the need to let others know about any connections to famous people they may have.

It would be easy for any of us to reach into our bag- o -tricks and drop some connection we have. But what really is to gain from it?

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I don’t know but after my latest Linkedin connection I sure am going to find out!

 

No haters please!

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Have You Something To Celebrate? A New Book? A Published Article? How About Just Good News In Your Family Or Career? Illness Healed? We Want To Share It! Let Us Know!

We all get so caught up in all the negativity in what is going on in today’s world that we thought a monthly post highlighting some really good things would be cool. You can just use your first name unless you are alright with the publicity. It can be something you are thankful for like finding a job after a long absence, a healing of a sickness that has been plaguing you or your family.

 

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If you have good news form the writing world, like a book published, or an article published, or any milestone no matter how big or small. We have spent a year complaining so why not continue this thanksgiving spirit throughout the year?

Here is all you do. Drop me an email at tim@dontlabelmykid.com  and put ” Good News” in the subject line. Then give a brief summary of what happened that you are excited about and thankful for . If you want to keep your name a secret just use initials and if you would like the publicity just use your entire name and any other details you want included!

Its free and fun! We all need a reversal of mindset sometimes, share with us what has happened to you and we will post it!

TJ

We Never Ask For Money Here- Except Today- Just Read it Please.

Support This Evangelist In India- Hes Doing Alone What Many Would Not Attempt Here. When you click on the link below you will be taken directly to their website and photo galleries of all they have done to minister. You may want to turn the volume down when you first open the site because it starts with many former Hindus and others praising the Lord with no doubt they mean it! You will see a Pay Pal button on the site so do what you can. Remember if only 10% of us gave just 5$ that is 500$ and enough for this Christmas.

Help The Hungry In India Through Pastor Dileep

Here is his link above . This is actually Evangelist Dileep who started this little Christ filled church just 4 years ago by himself, now he is 27 I believe and has 75 new believers/ Now I tell you how he went from 15 to 75 with very little and how we all can help a ton by giving just a little..God blessed him a new beautiful wife just months ago as well!

 
Its time For Dileep in India to ask for donations so his small church surrounded by Hindu churches can do what they do – minister each Christmas by getting enough money raised give rice and beans to all the Hindus who have no food. By this simple act of reaching out his church has grown from 15 to 75 many of whom are former Hindus who could not ignore the Gospel being demonstrated right in their own homes by this very outreach.

It is unreal how many they can feed rice and beans to for a small amount. For example if only 10% of my readers gave 5$ each, they would have enough to serve rice and beans to all the surrounding homes this Christmas.

Folks we are talking 500$ total to do that much ministry. Please go to the little website Dileep has set up and there is now a pay pal button you can give right directly to them. They appreciate help to do this as this is their Christmas present to them. They love serving and even in the pastors day job the money goes mostly to get Bibles and food for their own church.

Giving to them is like stretching every penny 10 different ways as it is so inexpensive ( to us) to support them.

hijministries.webs.com

Please lets take a few bucks and let them feed more people.

Tj

 Storms Of Life- The Hurt And Healing. Where Did God Go? How To Be A Rock In The Midst Of The Thing That Is Ripping Others Apart…

This world can be harsh. Our circumstances can attempt to break us down. Whether you are a Christian or not, I am wrting this to offer to you the only way to remain unshakeable from any of life’s flaming arrows. Will we not feel pain or sorrow and never cry if we do what this article tells you? We still feel the pain, and cry sometimes.

Its our core, our spirit that can remain steady and strong.

If you are a Christian wondering why you feel so vulnerable when things seem to fall apart or you are a straight up anti-God soldier who claims not to need God, this is for both of you. For the Christian, you can learn about why you may be weak in your faith when bad things happen. For the soldier, drop your weapon for a few minutes and see if you might see how this could work and hopefully give it a shot.

Whether we are talking about some tragic circumstances in our own families like unexpected death or loss of income or a number of possible issues, we all have felt at one time or another that God surely must be punishing us. Unbelievers sometimes use these circumstances to affirm their non-belief in God.

Recently we have had some large-scale disasters like the wildfires in California and hurricanes in Florida that forced over a million people out of their homes, not knowing what they may return to. On a personal note I have been through wildfires, dozens of hurricanes and other natural disasters. I lost my brother to suicide and my grandparents the next year. My family has seen a bunch of personal tragedies and natural ones like these storms and fires I referenced.

 

This year though was the first time I have ever evacuated.  When hurricane Irma took over the entire state of Florida, everywhere you turned you saw people crying or pleading with God to take the storm away. You know what? That’s okay. The problems arise when believers don’t get the requested answer in the time frame they have allowed God to wipe these things out. No question people are genuinely hurting, scared. helpless and sometimes hopeless when these things happen.

The question to believers in Christ, is which way are we going to trust now. In our own understanding or in God, period? Here is the mandate from God’s Word;

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,  lean not on thine own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3: 5-6 ( KJV)

screenshot_20170823-62729186825913.png

Now, before anyone gets irritated by this order from God because it does not seem possible at certain times, let me introduce a missing ingredient in being able to trust.

Faith

How do we acquire that kind of strong faith though? It surely does not come from reciting ” I have faith” all day hoping faith will enter into you. Faith does not come by mind over matter or manipulating your self into a false sense of faith.

Once again if we refer back to our life manual, the Bible, we are told that there is but one way for genuine faith to arise in us. Faith that will sustain us through anything.

Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. ( KJV)

Wait just a minute you may say” I have read countless Christian books, I pray, I try to do all I can to please God, I even leave tracts for my waiter or waitress  I should have strong Faith!

Good for you for choosing Christian books over romance novels or inappropriate magazines. Those are wise choices but don’t for a minute they give you lasting faith. You see- God never changed the rules about how legitimate faith is gained, it’s still by His Word. Yep, that means no other Christian anything has the power to do that. Now do not mistake me as if I was saying we don’t need Christian magazines, books, videos and all because we do. They can encourage us, keep us focused in the right direction, even provide us with an emotional spiritual high for a day or two. They keep us in touch with other believers which is a recomendation the apostle Paul made.

However, don’t mistake emotions for faith. So why am I emphasizing the true way to get real faith? Because lack of real faith is the number one reason people stay in crisis mode when problems come, walk away from the faith or never get involved. Maybe they have never been told what we are talking about. Whatever the reason they are drifting and doubting is because they do not renew their minds daily with the Word of God, the Holy scriptures.

What is the difference between you fueling  up only on Christian books and movies which can produce an emotional charge or maybe a temporary ” Jesus high” ? It’s the difference between real faith and manufactured powerless temporary faith. Lets see what the Bible says about what the power its own words hold for those who stay in it and keep renewing their minds everyday from it.

The word says this about itself-

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow: it judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart”-  Hebrews 4: 12 ( NIV)

screenshot_20171009-203742-1522672831.png

I challenge you to find any Christian publication other than the Bible that makes that claim about its contents. You wont. Not even the most famous Christian authors would even consider comparing their words to the power of ” the Word”.

I dedicate so much time to the Word of God and its importance in the midst of crisis and storms in our lives because those who obey the order on how to get real faith are the ones who really remain unshaken regarding God no matter what is going on. One other thing to note, is that in the bible you will find that every true follower of God had to come to crossroads at some point in life where they surrendered their own will and plans and decided to put it all into trusting God. Take Job for example. An honest, faithful man who God clearly allowed to suffer in almost every way he could. Lost his fortune, his family, even his health.

Job was frustrated and not happy about his situation but he decided nothing was going to take his faith away. He made the decision right up front to operate not on feelings, but Faith. So after the storms in his life, his life was put back together by God even greater than it originally was. Now that is faith. In today’s mindset you will likely not find too many Job’s in your life. Most people just get mad, give up, curse God, denounce God or even take their own lives because they decided to play the role of God and decide how things would end up. What was so different about JOb? Was he a better person than we are? Maybe God gave Him some superpowers that we dont have? Nope.

Only one thing kept Job so trusting in God that even when his own wife said he should curse God and die, Job said ” Even though He slay me, I will praise Him”

There is another scripture that Christians need to keep in mind as well. Romans 8:28 says ” All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose”

wp-image--2084750928

Job understood God was not going to just abandon him. That’s why the man who makes our little problems look insignificant was unshakable in his faith. That faith to keep on and even have total peace is only found one way. Reading the word of God often to renew your mind ( if you have not figured this out yet, the world we live in does everything it can to talk us out of our faith.)

The only protection from being affected by that is to renew your mind before you walk out the door and face the world that wants you to walk away from God. That is part of the armor God has given us to be unshakable when everything seems to be working directly against you and your family and faith. He will not force us to stay in His word though. We have free will. If you go to Barnes and Noble and choose to cozy up with a good Anton Lavey ( church of satan) book, that’s your call and of course so are the consequences. So our choices in crisis are critical.

If you have grown children or even younger children you surely have noticed that in their first few years of life they never question what you say or do. If you hand them a bottle, they don’t spin the top off to inspect what you’re giving them. It could be poison but their childlike faith does not even tempt them to go against you or question you about any major decisions. If told your young kids they need to hit the basement now because a tornado was coming through, its doubtful they would pull out a weather radio to challenge your statement. That describes childlike faith.

Guess what that Bible says about what kind of faith is pleasing to God? You got it- childlike faith. Just like your kids never questioned you as a child, we are to have the same attitude with our heavenly Father. Once again, you cannot order childlike faith online or talk yourself into it. Faith comes from where again? The Word. Period.

As adults as we find discipline to renew our minds in the Word and experience true trust in God no matter what is happening, your friends, family, kids are witness to that peace you have unlike so many. That is the opportunity to share your secret with them, and they will believe you because sometimes you are the only calm one around and they notice it. The mindset we get from reading the truth all the time and building real faith goes a little like this-

People come and go ( death, divorce). jobs come and go, health comes and goes, riches come and go, friends come and go, but God- He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That is what you will have etched in your soul as you stay in the Word. It leaves very little room for trusting in any of those listed things. But your realization that God will never leave or forsake you and is always the same will provide you with an entirely new kind of faith in any circumstance.

It doesnt matter if you are an atheist today or a lifelong Christian who even ushers in the church. The Word of God is available to both. One is no better then the other but by their trust in Christ. We all need a savior. Not one of us is righteouss enough to land in heaven except by the finished work of Christ at Calvary and by the blood He shed for anyone who accepts His forgiveness. Nobody has a one up one the other. If you are an atheist now, but tonite you choose to invite Christ into your heart and ask for forgiveness, assuming you get in the Word right away faithfully you could be alot better off then a Christian of 20 years who chooses to keep his Max Lucado reads up to date but not too much time in the Word.

That is why this article is for everyone. No matter what your past has been or where you have been. Its all able to be washed away with that blood of Christ for the asking.

You know when I began writing this article, I considered adding some pictures of the massive storms and fires that are happening. Then I got my head straight and realized I was about to give glory and even more attention to the things that are tearing people apart. Thankfully I realized that this is a hope centered piece, not a piece for lots of people to glorify the bad things that hit us.

Thats why the emphasis has been on the awesome opportunity to overcome this world and its attempts at defeating us. What we need is more instruction on how to overcome this world according to God. Thats victory. When you choose that route you will find that the things that used to wear and tear you down are now like flys on your shoulder that you can swat off and keep moving forward in God’s Word and plan for you and yours!

Listen to this womans confidence. I guarantee it did not come to her by never missing Oprah.

Whatever your storm, whether tragedy in your family, fires in your woods, or crazy rain and winds over the entire state, they all get smaller and smaller as the Word grows bigger and bigger in you!

Test it and see. After all God said not a word of His will ever return void…

TJ

 

 

 

 

Storms Of Life- The Hurt And Healing. Where Did God Go? How To Be A Rock In The Midst Of The Thing That Is Ripping Others Apart…

This world can be harsh. Our circumstances can attempt to break us down. Whether you are a Christian or not, I am wrting this to offer to you the only way to remain unshakeable from any of life’s flaming arrows. Will we not feel pain or sorrow and never cry if we do what this article tells you? We still feel the pain, and cry sometimes.

Its our core, our spirit that can remain steady and strong.

If you are a Christian wondering why you feel so vulnerable when things seem to fall apart or you are a straight up anti-God soldier who claims not to need God, this is for both of you. For the Christian, you can learn about why you may be weak in your faith when bad things happen. For the soldier, drop your weapon for a few minutes and see if you might see how this could work and hopefully give it a shot.

Whether we are talking about some tragic circumstances in our own families like unexpected death or loss of income or a number of possible issues, we all have felt at one time or another that God surely must be punishing us. Unbelievers sometimes use these circumstances to affirm their non-belief in God.

Recently we have had some large-scale disasters like the wildfires in California and hurricanes in Florida that forced over a million people out of their homes, not knowing what they may return to. On a personal note I have been through wildfires, dozens of hurricanes and other natural disasters. I lost my brother to suicide and my grandparents the next year. My family has seen a bunch of personal tragedies and natural ones like these storms and fires I referenced.

 

This year though was the first time I have ever evacuated.  When hurricane Irma took over the entire state of Florida, everywhere you turned you saw people crying or pleading with God to take the storm away. You know what? That’s okay. The problems arise when believers don’t get the requested answer in the time frame they have allowed God to wipe these things out. No question people are genuinely hurting, scared. helpless and sometimes hopeless when these things happen.

The question to believers in Christ, is which way are we going to trust now. In our own understanding or in God, period? Here is the mandate from God’s Word;

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,  lean not on thine own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3: 5-6 ( KJV)

screenshot_20170823-62729186825913.png

Now, before anyone gets irritated by this order from God because it does not seem possible at certain times, let me introduce a missing ingredient in being able to trust.

Faith

How do we acquire that kind of strong faith though? It surely does not come from reciting ” I have faith” all day hoping faith will enter into you. Faith does not come by mind over matter or manipulating your self into a false sense of faith.

Once again if we refer back to our life manual, the Bible, we are told that there is but one way for genuine faith to arise in us. Faith that will sustain us through anything.

Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. ( KJV)

Wait just a minute you may say” I have read countless Christian books, I pray, I try to do all I can to please God, I even leave tracts for my waiter or waitress  I should have strong Faith!

Good for you for choosing Christian books over romance novels or inappropriate magazines. Those are wise choices but don’t for a minute they give you lasting faith. You see- God never changed the rules about how legitimate faith is gained, it’s still by His Word. Yep, that means no other Christian anything has the power to do that. Now do not mistake me as if I was saying we don’t need Christian magazines, books, videos and all because we do. They can encourage us, keep us focused in the right direction, even provide us with an emotional spiritual high for a day or two. They keep us in touch with other believers which is a recomendation the apostle Paul made.

However, don’t mistake emotions for faith. So why am I emphasizing the true way to get real faith? Because lack of real faith is the number one reason people stay in crisis mode when problems come, walk away from the faith or never get involved. Maybe they have never been told what we are talking about. Whatever the reason they are drifting and doubting is because they do not renew their minds daily with the Word of God, the Holy scriptures.

What is the difference between you fueling  up only on Christian books and movies which can produce an emotional charge or maybe a temporary ” Jesus high” ? It’s the difference between real faith and manufactured powerless temporary faith. Lets see what the Bible says about what the power its own words hold for those who stay in it and keep renewing their minds everyday from it.

The word says this about itself-

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow: it judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart”-  Hebrews 4: 12 ( NIV)

screenshot_20171009-203742-1522672831.png

I challenge you to find any Christian publication other than the Bible that makes that claim about its contents. You wont. Not even the most famous Christian authors would even consider comparing their words to the power of ” the Word”.

I dedicate so much time to the Word of God and its importance in the midst of crisis and storms in our lives because those who obey the order on how to get real faith are the ones who really remain unshaken regarding God no matter what is going on. One other thing to note, is that in the bible you will find that every true follower of God had to come to crossroads at some point in life where they surrendered their own will and plans and decided to put it all into trusting God. Take Job for example. An honest, faithful man who God clearly allowed to suffer in almost every way he could. Lost his fortune, his family, even his health.

Job was frustrated and not happy about his situation but he decided nothing was going to take his faith away. He made the decision right up front to operate not on feelings, but Faith. So after the storms in his life, his life was put back together by God even greater than it originally was. Now that is faith. In today’s mindset you will likely not find too many Job’s in your life. Most people just get mad, give up, curse God, denounce God or even take their own lives because they decided to play the role of God and decide how things would end up. What was so different about JOb? Was he a better person than we are? Maybe God gave Him some superpowers that we dont have? Nope.

Only one thing kept Job so trusting in God that even when his own wife said he should curse God and die, Job said ” Even though He slay me, I will praise Him”

There is another scripture that Christians need to keep in mind as well. Romans 8:28 says ” All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose”

wp-image--2084750928

Job understood God was not going to just abandon him. That’s why the man who makes our little problems look insignificant was unshakable in his faith. That faith to keep on and even have total peace is only found one way. Reading the word of God often to renew your mind ( if you have not figured this out yet, the world we live in does everything it can to talk us out of our faith.)

The only protection from being affected by that is to renew your mind before you walk out the door and face the world that wants you to walk away from God. That is part of the armor God has given us to be unshakable when everything seems to be working directly against you and your family and faith. He will not force us to stay in His word though. We have free will. If you go to Barnes and Noble and choose to cozy up with a good Anton Lavey ( church of satan) book, that’s your call and of course so are the consequences. So our choices in crisis are critical.

If you have grown children or even younger children you surely have noticed that in their first few years of life they never question what you say or do. If you hand them a bottle, they don’t spin the top off to inspect what you’re giving them. It could be poison but their childlike faith does not even tempt them to go against you or question you about any major decisions. If told your young kids they need to hit the basement now because a tornado was coming through, its doubtful they would pull out a weather radio to challenge your statement. That describes childlike faith.

Guess what that Bible says about what kind of faith is pleasing to God? You got it- childlike faith. Just like your kids never questioned you as a child, we are to have the same attitude with our heavenly Father. Once again, you cannot order childlike faith online or talk yourself into it. Faith comes from where again? The Word. Period.

As adults as we find discipline to renew our minds in the Word and experience true trust in God no matter what is happening, your friends, family, kids are witness to that peace you have unlike so many. That is the opportunity to share your secret with them, and they will believe you because sometimes you are the only calm one around and they notice it. The mindset we get from reading the truth all the time and building real faith goes a little like this-

People come and go ( death, divorce). jobs come and go, health comes and goes, riches come and go, friends come and go, but God- He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That is what you will have etched in your soul as you stay in the Word. It leaves very little room for trusting in any of those listed things. But your realization that God will never leave or forsake you and is always the same will provide you with an entirely new kind of faith in any circumstance.

It doesnt matter if you are an atheist today or a lifelong Christian who even ushers in the church. The Word of God is available to both. One is no better then the other but by their trust in Christ. We all need a savior. Not one of us is righteouss enough to land in heaven except by the finished work of Christ at Calvary and by the blood He shed for anyone who accepts His forgiveness. Nobody has a one up one the other. If you are an atheist now, but tonite you choose to invite Christ into your heart and ask for forgiveness, assuming you get in the Word right away faithfully you could be alot better off then a Christian of 20 years who chooses to keep his Max Lucado reads up to date but not too much time in the Word.

That is why this article is for everyone. No matter what your past has been or where you have been. Its all able to be washed away with that blood of Christ for the asking.

You know when I began writing this article, I considered adding some pictures of the massive storms and fires that are happening. Then I got my head straight and realized I was about to give glory and even more attention to the things that are tearing people apart. Thankfully I realized that this is a hope centered piece, not a piece for lots of people to glorify the bad things that hit us.

Thats why the emphasis has been on the awesome opportunity to overcome this world and its attempts at defeating us. What we need is more instruction on how to overcome this world according to God. Thats victory. When you choose that route you will find that the things that used to wear and tear you down are now like flys on your shoulder that you can swat off and keep moving forward in God’s Word and plan for you and yours!

Listen to this womans confidence. I guarantee it did not come to her by never missing Oprah. 

Whatever your storm, whether tragedy in your family, fires in your woods, or crazy rain and winds over the entire state, they all get smaller and smaller as the Word grows bigger and bigger in you!

Test it and see. After all God said not a word of His will ever return void…

TJ

 

 

 

 

Looky Here. Why Isn’t CNN Telling Us This? Surprise! See Who Really May Be Headed For Cell Block H…

See Who The Bad Guys Really Are!

You know the media is the media and they will slant here and slant there. However there is a time…when you just have to present truth because you realize it will come out eventually and then you will look like a complete moron. Kind of like CNN has been looking. Lately calling for the impeachment of Trump , citing some glitch in policy or whatever. Meantime, back at the ranch in their newsroom, and off the air, this is what they are really looking at but do not report. Amazing.

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What Are You Doing Here? On Taking The Next Step… Time To Execute!

“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Well, here we are. We have discussed practically every issue in life on this blog in the last four years or so. We have laughed, debated, discussed, prayed and I think I even had a legitimate stalker . The very first mission of this and I hope any blog is to teach. To educate your readers on what it is your here for and especially the question ” what can you do for me”. Today I am going to do a part of my job that is not uncommon in my 20 years as a Social Worker. I am going to press you a little bit. Force you to quit sidestepping and avoiding your needs and issues.

Now don’t think of this as anything negative. Its just the natural progression of things. In my career I would have people make appointments come to the office for some need in the areas of mental health, behavioral health or addictions primarily. There are always exceptions but those were the most popular reasons they would make an appointment to see me.

Almost always on the very first visit I would introduce myself and ask them to tell me about why they were here. I cannot tell you how many stare-offs I had, lol. I would say ” you called me so tell me what I can help you with. ” I never figured out if it was people getting intimidated when they are in a setting they are not used to or what , but so many people forget or froze up.  I would usually give them some examples of why people came to see me and gradually somewhere in the list I would here a ” yeah that” or something to help me know where to start probing or asking questions. We always got moving at some point. Some in just a few minutes and some it took a little longer.

On this blog Don’t Label My Kid! I decided to start the educating on my homepage with mental health. I allude to the other areas I am an expert in but that is where I decided to begin, because all our other problems somehow are related to mental health. I then proceeded over the next 3-4 years to make sure I wrote at least 100 articles related to each area I serve.  I am not talking about specialty areas like parenting that I also assist and do workshops in,  but the main primary areas;  Mental, behavior and addictions.

Over 500 total articles on these areas. This is to find out where my reader’s needs are and to get feedback from you as well on any area . As you all well know I always mix in some humor, politics or other issues at random just to keep things from getting to dark and gloomy on here. (Some who pop in at the wrong time think this site is just a random topic site as my last 4 quick posts might have been about humor. lol) Even though I post about a wide  variety of topics , they are topics related to life. We are all in that game together.

Now, in this time I have enjoyed a good amount of feedback, comments and gotten a ton from you all about your situations now, past of something you wonder about. I have read and still go over thousands of comments from you all. I have not read anything I have not helped someone with many times over ( except maybe the stalker) .

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I have heard from the suicidal, the addicts, the parents who are ready to strangle their kids, the people of faith who ask me how I can still believe in God, then the burned out Christians. I have also gotten messages from people suffering with PTSD, abused wives, and people who have had experiences with sexual abuse. This has been especially popular since I have been writing about Father Gondek . People are much more likely to share if they are not alone. My point is, you are here for a reason. I  can assure you God did not lead you here to get more depressed or addicted. He did not bring me here to write about your struggles so you can leave the house every day with fresh depression. We are here for a change. It’s what I call a divine appointment.

The stage we are at now, is called Execution.

Execution is where action takes place. It is where you quit playing around with your problem. You quit lust ” liking ” every post about your topic, you take the next step in your journey. It is the favorite part of work life, as I get to use my gifts and help people in general solve problems. How though? What do you do – even if you wanted to take the next step to help? Well, there are three possible answers.

 You are getting your first assignment in moving forward with your issues. You should write this date down on your calendar  as the day you ” executed “-

Before you can execute you have to select one of the following scenarios that best fits you

1- I have never reached out for help

2-I have reached out but no progress ( gave up )

3-You are currently trying things but have not got anywhere or don’t know if your counsel is right, or the money you would spend is worth it.

Now, I want you to select the one that describes you best. Usually one of those is it. If not no problem we can identify it. So make your selection. Great.

Now – as a consultant I take on three roles, depending on which of the above fits you.

If you are #-

#1-I am your  ADVISOR– I will start by accessing your need, identify the best care plan and follow you through the process as needed.

#2-I am your INTERVENTIONIST-I help you resume your attempts by picking up the pieces of whatever you did gain or learn, and reconnecting , but with the appropriate services.

#3- I am your COACH- I act as support to what you think you may want to try, and am someone to stand along side of you as you navigate the process and coach you as is necessary to keep you on he right track.

Your 2nd assignment today is to figure out whether I am your Advisor,your interventionist, or your coach.  So, which one?

Here is the moment of truth. You pick up the phone or email me to identify what you are in need of. I have broken it down so you can easily identify your needs from me.

(Although I am very good, I have yet learned to read minds of my followers.)

Touch base to get a Plan Of Care started now!

Tim@dontlabelmkid.com

Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com

Cell- Txt- Call- 386-675-7549

*Now a few important things have when you contact me

1- if it involves a child, any and all IEP or special class information from school. Also any mental health official diagnoses or medications they are on or have ever been on. I don’t need copies but I need you to accurately tell me the report. If you are needing help for yourself I just need your past and current mental health diagnises

2- If you are an addict or have a loved one is and you need help – DO NOT GET ANY HELP UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME . PERIOD. Many organizations today get paid to fill beds- not make it a good fit for the client. Also if you walk into a rehab with no knowledge of the process and what you really need, you or your friend’s success rate is about 24%

Again- Any addicts reading or if you are trying to help one get help. CALL ME first. It is critical that you have an understanding of what rehab REALLY means. It’s not what you think.

Tj Petri BSW

Advisor, Interventionist, Coach

Don’t Label My Kid!

My Pain- And How I Use Writing To Self Medicate. As A Matter Of Fact I Am Trashed Right Now…

**Note-this post was voted in the top 5 best reads of all posts on WordPress for this day June 16th 2017 – ( by the DLMK team)


 

I am using right now . Just so my junkie friends know I am keeping this legit.

Lately I have found myself writing a little more than usual. I just have felt much more at ease when I am entrenched and entranced in a post I am working on. It may sound odd but even when I am just breaking to do regular daily things that we all do like using the restroom, some chores, maybe a meal now and again , I feel that kind of urge to hurry and finish so I can get back to my blog.

It’s not healthy. I am a counselor, an adviser and consultant on mental health, behavioral health and addictions and have been for 20 years and pretty darn good at it I might add. I do not have issues with balance, and stress, or addictive patterns anymore. Or do I? I realized today ( which happens to be my birthday ) – Oh, thank you!  Anyway I realized that I have to deal with this. So I stared at the laptop for a few hours today but refrained from posting. I abstained to prove that I have it, and it does not have me.

Who am I fooling. The only difference between me today and me 23 years ago, is I am using writing and reading others writing as my fix, my medicine to mask the pain or stress I have. Back in the gap, I would have just popped 4-5 mg of Zannys ( xanax) maybe an oxy 80mg and slammed a few shots to ease my pain.

 It’s truly the same idea. Maybe I have achieved a certain level of maturity in that I wont reach for the pills and booze now, but my keyboard is taking the place of it.

 

I am writing about this for two reasons. First because as a recovered addict, I’d feel like a hypocrite if I did not share when I struggle and make others feel like they are weird because they have these type issues come up. Second, because the therapist needs therapy right now. I need help to break this open and get to the bottom of it. There is great revelation and healing that can come from expressing feelings, whether through the written word, the spoken word, or any other way one can get things out in the open.

I once worked for a psychiatrist who after just a short while entrusted me with completing all of her initial assessments. It’s a big deal because that means each new patient who came into her office did not meet with her, but me. I conducted what is called a psycho-social assessment which was a 10 page interview process that is designed to give the clinician doing the assessment enough information to make an official diagnoses from the same DSM-V that the doctors use.  I would make my decision and then pass it to the doctor to review . After a short time she just signed whatever I gave her. It was a high compliment.

One day we got to talking about our lives and personal family histories and all. After sharing a few things that had happened, were happening and may happen she was speechless. She could not understand how I even made it as far as I did , much less be so good. She named me ” the wounded healer”. To this day I see myself as a wounded healer.

So back to my problem now, I am aware that I am self-medicating. I have written enough posts already to carry me on for a year or more. I have no reason to keep on this marathon blog session. However the minute I try to lay my head down at night I realize I do not care for this uncomfortable silence in my brain. So within a half hour I am usually back up from my attempt to rest. I reach for this , and so the story goes. I hate it. I hate it that for 3 days I have closed my eyes for about 45 minutes per day if that.

Now the hard part to figure out which stress factor in my life has me right now. There are plenty to go around. Then the therapist in me wants to get all clinical and fancy like I am back at the shop with a new patient. Then I think thoughts like this ” Well I am sure since it is my birthday, my subconscious memory is playing old tapes about things I left undone, or as we EXPERTS call it  – ” unfinished business” in my life .

Then reality hits and in frustration I blurt out to my screen ” What a load of crap that is”.

Now I am still nowhere. Or am I ? Maybe by verbalizing this and sharing my true feelings. I  might get some relief. Or maybe it wont get me relief and poor me has to suffer a week or two of this. Either way I need a remedy to this. So in my case in my situation today I have chosen to do something different. Anything that might throw me off of this pattern I am in.

I made a decision.

My decision is to review my perspective a bit. I needed to reflect on some good things and quit buying into all the lies the enemy of my soul wants me to by into. For example what would I have thought 4 years ago when I had 16 followers and could not find the motivation to even post because I knew only a few would see it and out of those few maybe one or two might like it. Boy now those were hard times, I tell you what, compared to that I am in heaven right now. I can literally write a post about anything I want and know that a whole bunch of people from dozens of countries will see it in minutes. What the heck am I complaining about? Too much opportunity? Wow, poor me.

So you see what once would have been a dream to me — to have an audience and an abundance of things to share about somehow has been renamed in my brain to be a big problem. The amazing twists that our minds can out on us.

Now as I finish up this post, I am left with a different perspective. Now I am thinking – wow, what a roll I have been on, but I have got to mix in a way to get some sleep. It’s not healthy to not sleep, but it is healthy and just fine to roll out post after post with good content. I plan to keep it up until it naturally slows down, but never believe the lie that doing what I love to do is somehow stressful. Lack of sleep is my issue. Not blogging.

When I started this post I had no idea how it would end. Now I see that I am just fine and have much less to be stressed about then I thought. The sleep deprivation is likely causing the twisted thinking. My blogging is fine. Right on track with my goals and the reason I started this thing to share my experiences with as many as is possible.

I encourage everyone to share things when in binds like mine.  It matters not how you share but let another human in. It does two things.;  Resets perspective & identifies any changes you can make today. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the ride!

I’m Developing Complex Stress And Trauma From Hearing So Much About It. Now I Am Back On The Xanax From Worrying About Being Obsessed With The Trauma…Oh Heck.

I am not stressed. I am feeling good. Petri at Don’t Label My Kid! wrote a post today on 3 easy ways for a worry free life – 2 minute read... Everyone knows he is the best wordsmith on WordPress!

I’m good. I am feeling much better..

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Who am I kidding- I hear Kermit the frog now. And That Petri Is Nuts. Who Am I Kidding…  Nurse! Nurse! 

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Yo-Sup- Help- I Need An Ethics Gauge From My Fellow Bloggers…

Alright I will keep this short but I really do want the truth on this …so all my ” likers” who never take the time to write a sentence about WHY you liked or did not like my post, please as a special favor to me, just quickly throw your two cents in here. Just in case those of you who squeeze that cross pen until blood comes out are reading, I don’t get paid per like or anything if that’s what you are afraid of. I am actually stumped and just need you to tell me ethical or unethical.

Ok you may have noticed that a week or so ago I re-blogged one of those ” 2 minute read”  posts from millionaire digest to make a point. My point was that the paragraph which made up the whole post was comprised of like 3 tips on starting your day positive;

1- Brush teeth

2- Yoga

3- Refuse to allow negative energy

The reason I re-blogged it was because I noticed that the little hiccup of a post got 450 likes! I am slaving away to feed my people solid food that you can take with you like manna for the day,  for maybe 40-50 likes on a good day..

Honestly I was expecting to get some ” your jealous” comments which I did not! 

Actually I got almost as many likes on that as I do on some of  my better posts!! So a few days ago,  I test drove that machine one more time to be sure it was not a fluke. You all actually agreed with me that it was silly. 

I mean what 

Put your hands togehter for a one minute read entitled

” How to SELF-MOTIVATE- YOURSELF ( actual title)

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Well, I have a confession to make. The thought crossed my mind to continue to BLAST the same few Millionaire posts that I see each day with 5 sentences, and 450 likes, until, well,  I was hoping to irritate them soooo much, that they would re-blog my post to cut me down and get back at me.You thinkin what I am thinkin?

Numbers wise , Hmm.

Negative attention is better then no attention! 

There is a 30 second read for ya!

I figured if they did re-post mine to express anger, I would likely have the biggest day of my blogging career, since even 1/4 as many responses for me would be 100+ likes on one post! Who would turn that down? However I decided it was wrong and will not purposely irritate anyone.

But who is to  say there is anything wrong with me and my DLMK posse   ( you)  to make things interesting and see who can post the weakest post from any  day, with the most likes?

I know, curiosity killed the cat. But whats a little fun amongst a blogging family? I don’t want  to cut anyone down  in any comments. I am not asking for negative comments. I am simply asking if it would be wrong of us to start a little contest to see who gets the most love, for the least letters….

Feedback please….

 

If Your Presence Does Not Make An Impact- Your Absence Wont Make A Difference..

People are always looking to impress others. Some flash money, some flash their bodies, some try to make people laugh. The list goes on. How though, do we truly make a lasting impact on the people we are interacting with? I came up with a few ways to leave a group of people knowing you have made an impact.

1-Dont over-talk. If everyone is competing for airtime trying to get their two cents in, the only person truly leaving a lasting impression is the mystery person. The one who spoke only when the conversation warranted.

2-Never gossip, judge, or cut others down. If the group is doing that, either exit the conversation or stay quiet and pull out your day timer to double-check your schedule. No matter what do not allow yourself to be associated with people known to do this. If you have no choice, and you cannot do the day timer thing, then speak up for yourself and say ” I am sorry I am just not comfortable talking about people behind their back.

3-Dont do what most do and try to impress others by fancy jargon, recent incredible accomplishments and desperate measures to get the spotlight. Instead, when you do talk be brutally transparent. Tell the truth about how you feel, or what you think about things, even your weaknesses. This is not too common and you will be remembered for that alone. ( Not bragging but my ” brutally honest strategy is how I got where I am today with well over 75 followers!) LOl- ok next.

4-Listen. Most people spend so much time bumpin their gums that they don’t take time to actually hear what people are talking about. Many times, you may have a great answer for the group to hear, but you are so busy talking you never have time to  actually give the valuable information. Be the odd man out and listen.It makes you stand out.

5- Lastly, mix in an Altoid.

Most of the things on the list have one thing in common. They are not the norm in today’s schmoozing circles. Simply by being different ( in a good way) you raise awareness to you and your cause, because you are not just another worker bee trying to compete. You are out of the ordinary. When you are not there​, you are actually missed.Thats making an impact!

tj

 

Have Any Of These Thoughts Run Through Your Mind?

Any of these thoughts ring a bell?

  • Life is not worth it
  • I hate myself
  • I have screwed things up too much to be fixed now.
  • Nobody likes me/ I have no real friends
  • Everyone else is doing well but me
  • I wonder if anyone would even miss me
  • Addiction sucks and I will always be stuck into this hell.
  • What would be the best way to kill myself, gun? Jump off a bridge?
  • I am so depressed, it’s never going to get better.
  • What would God do or say to me if I did off myself?
  • Nobody understands the pain I am in, I cannot explain it.
  • Why does all the bad stuff happen to me?
  • Where is God?
  • Nobody in my family loves me anymore anyways.
  • I am useless. Worthless.
  • I have no purpose in my life
  • I am not good at anything.
  • I wonder if a lot of people would come to my funeral.
  • I cannot go on its too painful
  • I wish I could talk to someone, but I am scared they might judge me

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These are a partial list of questions that have run through my own mind in the past which prompted me to reach out for help, in several areas. Even with all my education and experience, I still suffered through the same pain and hopelessness that many others do.

The difference in me now, and then is I did have someone who like me had been through the same stuff, and was a professional in the field as well. He was able to lead me to the right resources to get the right help with nobody knowing until I wanted them to know.

Folks, that’s what I am here for today. I am choosing to spend the rest of my career helping people and entire families get through some big hurdles. I can help you its 100% confidential, and I promise  will save you thousands of dollars in fancy offices with lots of suits walking around. If you are having any of those thoughts or similar,like I used to, then get in touch with me email tim@dontlabelmykid.com or if its urgent call my cell 386-675-7549.

Don’t forget your friends and family who might need help if you don’t. Please share this with your readers if you don’t mind so I can get the word out that death is not the answer. Suicide is not the solution, and addiction does not have to own them.

Again- Please take a minute to share this with your people as I cannot reach but my only group.

Peace & Hope

TJ

How To Parent Like A Boss- But Not Act Like One…

I spent about a third of my career living with and working with some of the most severely troubled kids as far as behaviors go. My task was to turn the behavior around so these kids could actually function in public settings. Not to just ” get by ” but to excel.

I was able to do so at a very high rate of success no matter what the family situation, or the life circumstances, as long as the kid could understand what  we were trying to accomplish. As long as they could function independently. For those with borderline IQ and developmental issues, I accomplished the same results but with a different system.

For now anyway I will share about how I worked with just your average kid. I’m going to lay out some tips for you to take control of your home and in such a way that everybody feels like they won..

I’ve written quite a bit on tips for parenting and different ideas. However I’ve not gone into a lot of detail on specific plans simply because I’m not sure that I will have an interactive audience and that people will appreciate what I’m going to lay out. So I’m going to try this today and see what the response is like – if you feel that it’s helping you and you’d like to hear the rest of the story ( which is not going to happen in one post) please let me know through your comments that you would like to hear the rest. This is something that took me over a decade to learn by experience and it’s not something I can lay out in one post but I can give you a great idea of how to change what you’re currently doing enough that it will make a difference in your life, in a short series.

I’m going to go ahead and call this an in-depth series on parenting and if it goes well we will  make it an ongoing series with the intent for you to ask questions and I answer questions according to your specific need and situation.  If I feel that it’s not drawing enough interest I will change it from in-depth-series to a drowned one. That is totally up to you.

The information I’m going to share with you will include information that I was paid by the state to train parents on, to train entire school districts of teachers on,  to work in home with families on,  as well as my five years as a living foster parent to around 35 teenagers.  I also have 4 kids of my own ages 6-22.

I’m going to start by naming a few basic fundamentals that must be in place before anything will be successful.

1- As a parent yelling and screaming at your child is about the worst thing you can do no matter what the circumstance.

body language

 

2-Your interactions with your child on a daily basis should include at least 10 positive comments to every 1 negative or criticizing statement. ( Yes it’s possible) The reason for this is simple; negative reinforcement ( yelling or putting one down NEVER changes behavior patterns for more than a minute, and hour, a day if your lucky. If you want real change, you need to identify what it is specifically you want to see happen from your child, tell them, and then wait. Keep waiting. Wait until you  ” catch them ” doing what you wanted. Now its high praise time. You don’t need to buy them an xbox or anything, just some verbal praise reminding them of what they did so well. Keep training your brain to catch them doing what they are supposed to , and keep reminding them that you noticed and giving them an age appropriate token of appreciation. For example a 7-year-old might like a hug. A 15-year-old might like a comment like,  ” you are really impressing me, keep this up and maybe we can talk about that ( enter whatever thing they have been bugging you about getting) soon!

3- Without specific skills and expectations for your child it’s impossible to succeed because there is no mutual understanding. Don’t assume your child can read your mind. Always incorporate the skills I will teach you into your daily dialogue with you child. I am going to provide you with a bunch of social skills to incorporate into your home. These should become common to hear in your daily conversations. There are dozens we can add but start slow with the major ones.

4- Do away with terms like ” be good ”  or ” don’t be bad” . Your idea of good maybe totally different then your child thinks of good as. Train yourself to start Identifying​ specifically what you expect . For example instead of  ” Jimmy , you be good while we are gone ” , say ” Jimmy please don’t forget to finish math, make your bed, and follow instructions of the sitter.”

5- Never, ever say  ” because I said so, that‘s why “- because – well just dont.

On of the major problems parents have is not keeping things realistic. Especially in issuing consequences. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a parent say to their 10-year-old something like this – ” you keep on screwing up like this boy and you can forget about summer baseball league.

WHAT? This just in…10 year old kids have an attention span of a few minutes. You think they can connect on that kind of consequence when they are still thinking if they will get ice cream for dinner? Keep it real, and age appropriate. By the way, if the kid does comprehend that baseball might be out, whats the point of trying at anything now? Now you lost him for good.

The trick to all these pieces is to weave them into a motivation system that you design for your child that is permanent – a system that you both know backwards a forward and leaves 100% of the outcome up to the child. It’s all their choice. In a well-developed system, there is no power struggle, no yelling, at all. Simple, because the options are laid out beforehand clearly for the child. If she wants to earn x, she does this. If she does not care to follow any instructions she issues herself a consequence. No shocking angry threats, just a simple choice for the child, and they no what the outcome will be whether they do the right thing or not.

I have already gone further then I intended to without even knowing if people want and need what I have to say. Maybe you have parenting all figured out. You may not need me. However if you don’t fall into that group and like the rest of us you have struggled before, then I need you to make it known. Tell me through your comments what your area of need is and if you will benefit from this type teaching. Let me know that you will be involved in this series or not. I will not continue if nobody is willing to share that they need help.

Skills for today to start incorporating into your home.

1-Following instructions

A- look at the person

B-say ok.

C- complete the task 

4-check back when finished
2-Accepting No

A-look at the person 

B-say ok

( No eye rolling, body language or mumbling)

Problem
Solving

Teach your child to use the SODAS method when they cannot  make up their minds on an issue. Role  play with them on this method so when  nobody is around to discuss a problem with your child has a way to make the right choices.

S-situation

O-optiins

D-disadvantage

A-advantage

S-solution



If you need more specific and personalized information then what you see in the series, that is when you contact me for a personalized plan of care. 

 I have never turned anyone away for not being able to pay some sky-high fee. I will gladly help you put a system in place that is perfect for your family.

Contact me at tim@dontlabelmykid.com to set up a virtual appointment and discuss a personalized plan of care for your situation.

For now – lets see if you all need what I have to offer. Please make yourself known.

tj