Can The Catholic Church Ever Be Absolved For Running The Largest Pedophile Racket In The World?


Click the link below for a short but powerful clip-

Suicide- Solution?i lied


You know suicide is death. Regardless of the reason the person chose it. The thing is though, when we are dealing with death – you would almost think that if any common denominator could be found or pattern of behavior that proved to lead up to suicides, we would absolutely POUNCE all over it and end it ASAP! You would think…

In the case of my brother Danny- there was a clear trail of evidence that shined a bright light on the reason that a recent college graduate, waiting to get on with the Police force fresh out of school and ready to embark on a new career would suddenly pick up his pistol, while we sat on a couch and watched late night television and blow his brains out.

Of course at the very moment he got up and told me he was going for a walk I noticed he was not acting his usual self. He didn’t drink, but that night I noticed as we watched the tube, that he was holding a shot glass. Never saw it before,  I didn’t say anything, he was an adult, and that was his right.

Then he casually walked out the door at around 10pm maybe later. I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up it was around 2am. I walked over to lock up and noticed his car in the drive but I hadn’t remembered him coming in the door from his walk. So I took a look around and saw nothing. I checked his room to see if he got in without me a hearing but nobody.

I knew something was wrong but no clue what. I woke my mother and told her he hadn’t returned from a walk and I was going to look around, Instantly I knew by the look in her eyes that she knew something was wrong, in a way that only a mother could know. We split up in the woods we lived in, and went different directions. It was not 15 minutes before I was stopped in my tracks by a shriek/scream that I will never forget. It was my mom. She had come up on Danny. Laying in a field a few blocks from the house – dead.

He used his .38 to put a round in his temple and the only other things he had on was his cross from a recent Curcio weekend he had been on and a little piece of paper in his shirt pocket he had written

Mom- Tim 

I Love You.

I am sure the shock we felt was similar to many who had the same experience. But there was one thing I was about to discover that changed everything for me and has kept me busy for 20 years tracking and revealing to any authority who would listen the news I had. That night my brother gave up on his pain, I found a locked box in the bottom corner of his closet. When I cracked it open a huge stack of folded and neatly stacked letters fell out. I picked one up and quickly scanned it looking for any clue as to what was going on in his life.

I soon read about the third line down and realized this was a romantic and personal letter with sexual innuendos and comments like ” I miss your touch” etc

Damn it. His girl must have broken up with him and somehow sent him over the edge. I slowly read the rest and as I got near the last line my eyes bulged out of my head as I read the signature it did not say, love Julie, or goodbye, love Samantha.

All these letters romantic in nature were signed by Father Al-

Wait just a minute Father Al was Dannys high school priest at the Catholic High School he attended before college. These letters were written while Danny was out-of-state at college. They were love letters, letters reminding Danny of how much Father Al had done for him in High School. He expected immediate contact when Danny arrived back home. And that was exactly the time my brother knew he would either soon have to face Father Al- or exit stage left and avoid the painful memories and expectations. 

After the initial shock, I gathered the letters to get over to the Diocese and hoped and assumed the police would have Father Al questioned and maybe arrested within 24 hours. I brought the letters into the diocese and explained the situation, then showed them graphic evidence of obvious abuse over a long period of time that had been going on. At least the freak will spend a long time behind bars I thought. That day, July 5th 1992 was the beginning of a long journey for me of discovering that what had happened was not only of no interest to the Diocese but they were supporting the Pedo-priest and even sheltered him from any media or police.

Its 26 years later and I have been inside Catholic organizations as an employee, I have tracked repeat offender pedo-priests over and over only to see them protected by whatever Diocese they belonged to, then quickly shuffled out-of-state and back to raping kids. Well, I thought, It’s a no-brainer, I’ll get the law involved with all the evidence and they can prosecute. To my dismay, I have yet to find any agency whether the Police, States Attorney, or Child Protective Services who would so much as take a report on even major cases – they refused.

There is a saying ” The fish stinks from the head down” – so I decided to start at the top. Let’s see what the Pope and his crew are doing about this whole epidemic. As it turned out, around the time I started researching the Popes actions – he was smack dab in the middle of an unfortunate case of bishops and priests found naked at the Vatican, with their play toys altar boys, oh yes and also alot of powder cocaine.

At that time the Vatican had filed suit against the Italian Police to disallow them any involvement or information about ANY further molestation charges that would ever occur at the Vatican. The pope cited his own team’s ability to investigate and resolve any issues.

While that went back and forth the pope was asked publicly about yet another scandal involving another crew of pedo-priests who were caught chasing their boys around the altar and then having their way with the boys. Eagerly awaiting a bold stand from the pope now that his gang had been cold busted two times in a few months. However, he chose to tell the public that we should have mercy on the predators and remember to extend forgiveness, as the Lord would.

Now at that time, I could only recall scripture where Jesus said ” If anyone should cause one of these little ones to sin, it would be better if they had a millstone tied around their neck and be thrown in the ocean” 

Then another verse from Jesus came to mind  ” If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off . It would be better to enter the kingdom of heaven maimed than not enter”

Somehow I was not getting any of that from the pope – just justification for pedophilia and a paved road for the homosexual lifestyle in general. 

As it turns out the Catholic pedo-priest racket is no occasional mishap in the church. It is currently estimated that over 30k priests are under investigation for abuse, and the Catholic church has paid out over 6 BILLION dollars to pay off victims from testifying in court. In a few cases I was involved in the youth who broke the secret of a 2 year-long -8 boy molestation ring in one church, suddenly found himself deported out of this country, leaving his family behind, but within two weeks of opening his mouth, he disappeared. Others have not been found.

Recently a high-ranking Bishop in New York publicly announced his filing of a court document that would seek to make the age of accountability for an altar boy caught in a sex act with a priest 7 years old.

Let me repeat that.  The Bishop is pushing for a law that will allow priests to continue and rape little boys, however, if the child is 7 or older,. the act however gruesome would be considered ” consensual “.

Now despite the hope of  the faithful who continue to support these pedophiles by giving large sums of money to the church and  even allowing their children to be ALONE with a priest, the reality is that the Catholic Church is far and away the worlds largest organized pedophile  racket and  is supported from the top down, It is estimated that 50-60% of all Catholic priests, bishops, Cardinals, etc are in some way involved in supporting this organized racket.

So as I close, and after you have heard what a friend went through in the Facebook clip after the suicide of a close buddy how do you feel about the fact that we have a clear and shining path and pattern which is responsible for thousands of suicides, drug overdoses or criminal lives – you see usually a sexually abused victim of a priest especially long-term will select one of the three choices.  Suicide, Drug OD, or street crime and gang life.

You see we have a spotlight shining on a direct line to cut off many of these tragedies. It’s in our laps. The evidence,  The victims. Payoffs. It’s all irrefutable evidence.  Why – oh why do we allow a massive pedophile ring to thrive in the Catholic church when we know the outcomes after the freaks are done playing with their play toys. They are simply disposable. Garbage. Trash.  I have read the victims sworn statements. I have tracked down a young man who after being raped for two years with 7 friends, could not take it – he told.  In 2 weeks he was by himself in Mexico, I spoke to him.

What happens if one of our neighbors is busted molesting a young boy or girl?  Its cuffed and stuffed correct?  But, somehow,  we allow undercover ” holy men ” to enjoy their perverse ways and get paid well to do so. Oh, and by the way – the priest who was accused ( and found innocent ) by the ” Church Investigation” is named Father Gondek. This 8 boy allegation over two years was totally on his hands as he was caught in the act and some other acts I won’t even repeat. Eight boys, two years, sounds like life maybe right? Let me tell you what punishment Father Gondek of North Carolina got.

1- Early and fully paid retirement.

2- Relocation to one of the churches lavish resorts for his type.

3- He was pronounced the richest man in Lexington, NC as he was awarded a service award in front of the entire church congregation.

Oh- one last thing Father Albert Gondek (pictured below) is the same Father Al who molested my brother in high school years. The one who signed the letters. Oddly enough, he was accused 2 more times between my brother’s death, and the 8 boy rampage he went on for 2 years in North Carolina.

Funny thing, he managed to walk on those two and the 8 boys.

If he has committed 3 we know of, then its safe to say maybe 30-50 at least are out there….but hes not the only one. Those 30k others under ” investigation”  are all over. You know – I don’t care of you are Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, or atheist.

Sexual abuse is KILLING thousands and we know who, and why and we have proof.  It’s curious how it continues to thrive. ..Any other fruitcake like these predators would be being punished in state prison. Yet there are still people today, who choose to stick their fingers in their ears, yell ” La- La -La ” and keep dumping money in the church for their legal funds to pay off those victims that they cannot make go away.


Father Albert Gondek- Molesting since 1991


Other members of the flock- doing what they can for the community


It’s all about the children when it comes to mentoring by priests


Often times the Diocese will even take care of children at the mall while the parents’ shop! It’s all Hands On with these servants.


Now for some light reading here is a link to the Catholic Churches report on the guilty flock members…. even as cleverly as they divide by state and diocese  and all  to make the numbers seem smaller, a few extra clicks will get you a more accurate picture of all the accused Bishops , and Priests, Nuns, etc Nationally and Internationally.

Now these are the numbers that the church has kept to themselves and not made privy to any outsiders…

I am positive they have gotten a good portion of the predators on paper…but just in case, I usually figure this represents about 50% of the actual guilty.

Oh and as I mentioned – it is VERY costly to keep paying off these punks who speak up and need a payoff to skip court  like I said over 6 Billion has been paid out….so in light of this fact you will notice the Accountability site has made available a chance for us to donate to their cause of running their criminal priests site. I am sure it goes to a good cause.




If You Have Ever Felt Alone, Depressed, Without Hope – Read “Ode To The Cloud.”

Light is dim in my eyes. Each day for most of my life I struggle to find some purpose to keep trying when so many of my efforts have failed.

My heart is good and motives pure, but the cloud still follows my every step. “Snap to it” they say…pull your bootstraps up and be a man. If they only knew. If they could only know what a struggle it is to get dressed each day. Why? What have I accomplished in my time to push me onwards? Addiction? Depression? Divorce?

That cloud- I’ve pushed and shoved and shot bullets from my gun at. I’ve reached as high as I could to grab it and burn it. I just want to feel the sunlight touch my brain. I wonder what it’s like.

I watch people intently. Seeking some nugget to their state of bliss and happiness, while I am still feeling it’s no use. Die, I think to myself. That life just isn’t for you. ..

Even my own family looks at me with dismay and maybe disgust. They wonder why I ” chose ” this path “. “Smile!” They say. Whats wrong with you? Others take time to capitalize on my misery, my failures. Dragging my history up, to make their own seem so much better.Don’t they know I didn’t ask for this? I don’t know a single soul who ever desired to be depressed, addicted, ashamed or embarrassed.

It’s lonely in the dark shadow of the cloud. Many times have I been excited to try a new medicine, a new way , a new will power high – only to drop even lower then I was to begin with. Surely God is punishing me. I better take to heart these whispers, murmurs, accusations, and mocking . Maybe they are right. So I add their handmade burdens to my already overweight load.

Where are my ” cover up an offense” friends? Why does it feel like I have been written off as a failure by them? Maybe I am, and maybe those thoughts of giving up deserve a second chance. I look up and notice the cloud again. I cannot lose it or shake it off my case.Its my mental nemesis.

So I go into God’s house. Perhaps peace can be found here. Indeed it can. However that cloud came into church with me. That is not fair! How can darkness and light dwell together? Let my mind rest just an hour I think . Self medicate, take control I think. Whatever it takes just get a moment or two of sanity .

But that dark cloud is only fueled more by the things I do to escape. Would God not forgive me if I took my life? I wonder… Stupid , stupid and more stupid I remind myself. That can’t be the answer.

I listen to the advice, take in the exhortation, swallow the spit coming at me from those around me. Those who have never endured this level of pain. They so easily spew vitriol and even laugh at my struggling. I cannot find rest from the torment of this cloud. My eyes burn from looking at the fan on the ceiling all night long as others sleep. I feel the cool sensation of drops of water running down my face, and I insist they are from the fan burning my eyes. But those tears come from above – from that cloud via my eyes. Sleep is elusive, rest not known. My head aches from thinking. I realize I am miserable. It’s lunchtime. No appetite again. Heck I haven’t even showered in 4 days.

Who can I call to comfort me? Nobody. Not one. All have turned away when things went bad for me. I need a friend who will run to me in my darkness, not away from me!

I pray that God would ” fix” it. But He doesn’t listen to my order so I become bitter . Perhaps ” gaawwd” doesn’t exist.

I want to get so high right now. Burn it down tonite and act like tomorrow’ won’t show up. Maybe a few pills, a bottle, a woman? Something must work.

But they don’t satisfy and I still see my shadow as I pace from the cloud above me . I feel so alone and isolated my soul is much older than I. My life has attempted to steal any sunshine that may come my way. I hate myself . I don’t deserve to live. ..

What a stupid thing to think. ..

Im here for a reason. I was made for a purpose and designed in a way that not one other in billions are. That may explain my past when I was helpful to others. I was happy for a brief time but even my superior called me a “wounded healer”. It’s that obvious? See, I am messed up. I wonder if it stands out? I wish people would just leave me alone. No, wait, come and love me. I need love.

I liken myself and any hope of victory to the same hope water has as it comes to a halt at huge rocks, interrupting the flow. Somehow the water always gets through that rock. But it is not due to the strength of the water. It’s due to it’s persistence that a way is made to go right through giant canyons.

Perhaps I have persisted as well but given up before the breakthrough. The cloud is not going anywhere if I stand still.

So I keep putting my head down, scars, dents and bruises . I keep persisting. I don’t have to give that cloud so much attention either. My strength, be it little must go into the breakthrough.

I don’t know what tomorrow may bring . But for today anyway, I’ve got a plan.

Im done thinking my way through lunchtime.

I won’t quit and I won’t give in to darkness when light is available. I wonder if my attention to the cloud has weakened the power of the light I need so desperately.

Then that thought ” who are you to talk God? You are fooling yourself calling yourself a believer. Look at your problems!

Nope. Im not buying that lie of the cloud.

I’ll pray.

Again today God forgive me for doubting . Each day these thoughts pass through my mind and each day You draw me back to truth no matter what my cloud says.

Let’s talk again soon. My day is only half over I don’t want to overthink anything not of you. I’ll be back soon to remind myself of you and the promises you gave me ..I know in just a few short hours I will need it again.

One Of The Worst Best Kept Secrets In The World…Many First Responders – Kill Themselves.

This is such long overdue information. It’s a shame that society expects first responders to be exempt from traumatic shock and mental illmess. It needs to be addressed.

The Rewarded Rapist Of North Carolina Catholic Diocese..

I really don’t know how many of you have followed the pedophile priest case I have written about for almost a year now. I have no way of telling. On top of that I am really not sure how many of you know the details in this case where he molested 6 boys over 2 years. He has been in North Carolina for almost 20 years I guess. In my 20 years as a social worker I have never seen nor even heard of the type of crimes he committed, and the lack of ANY consequence. I actually had 2 people in the last year tell me I needed to quit ” picking ” on the catholics .

Even as a counselor, one never truly gets to experience the totality of the process of child predators and how it steers a child in one of 3 directions in almost every single case.

1- Immediate substance abuse and if they are lucky and a loved one knows, therapy and hope of trying to put together some sort of life. That’s the best.

2- Next is substance abuse and absolute confusion in sexuality as they get into the late teens. This always leads to a life of depression, homosexual experimentation and a life of ” I am bi- ?” when asked what they are. If they beat the substance abuse they have to try to select what ” sexual orientation” they are . We would not have that term if it was not for predators no matter if they are priests or family members. The reason? Simple. When you are sexually aroused earlier then is appropriate and by a member of the wrong sex, as you mature you literally cannot figure out what ” touch” you should like. After all the first one felt pretty darn good! Yet that gut feeling confirms that it is not natural. A life of inconsistency, depression and trying to decide what you are going to ” identify ” as.

3- This is the worst, it basically is either instant death by suicide or a prolonged death by overdose. Same reason. To escape the horrid pain. Can you imagine how you would feel if a person killed themselves over something you had done? I cannot fathom. Child predators can sit down to a home-cooked meal right after finding news like that out. Again – unfortunately I speak from experience. I have seen it lived out. In my brother’s case it was straight up I need out of this pain now then a bullet in his head. Yep. There was a short period of time of acting strange when we all wondered what he was going through, but never in a million did we think sexually molested.

So back to Father Gondek. He was the priest at Father Lopez High School in Daytona Beach in about 1985-1992 I guess. It was in 1985-1986 when my younger brother Danny started high school there. He seemed to enjoy it mostly, did not make a lot of friends we noticed and no girls. I found out later in my career that’s part of the grooming process, isolation from peers and negative reinforcement for any talk of girls, as if that was a sin ..only boys. Pretty sick stuff.

So I remember the first few times I met Gondek. He was just in a hurry to move on so I figured he must be busy priest stuff. He sure was, just not what I thought that would be.  The only other thing that stuck out about him was he was very ” girly”” – his body language his gestures and all..


Quite honestly at the time I was very young and very much into working out and bodybuilding with my buddies . I thought the steroids I had been taking were just making me see things with too much testosterone, literally.

Well Danny went off to college to get his criminal justice degree to become a Daytona cop. Loved the school he went to and got that piece of paper. He was happy to get right into town and apply at the Daytona police department. So it was just a few weeks later when we both happened to run into each other at my moms to chill out and relax. We sat down – he flipped the channels and landed on nothing particular. I did notice something unusual, he had a shot glass in his hand, while waiting for the commercial to be over. Odd, but whatever, he was a grown man, just got a degree maybe he was celebrating. Besides – who was I to talk , I was doing shots while my classmates where throwing their chocolate milk cartons in the trash after kick ball in 3rd grade. My dad supplied on weekends. It was not the hard stuff, just those little mini shots with a chocolate taste so they went well with milk.

About an hour after that I woke up . I had fallen asleep on the couch next to the recliner he was in. I glanced or and he was just getting up and said he was going for a walk. I went back to sleep.  2-3 hours later  woke up and went to lock up.. He was not in the living room so I checked the bedroom. Nope. Checked the drive and his car was there. Hmm. Odd. I better wake my mom up and we can go find him. I was thinking since he was not a drinker maybe those few shots knocked him out and he fell asleep in the woods.

She went left and I went right. It must have been  2-3 am. About 10 minutes later I heard a shriek/ scream that…..I had never heard before and I never want to hear again. She found him. Pistol in hand and slug in his head. Gone. HUH? What? No, No that can’t be right I thought–he just got his degree. He just applied for his dream job. No  way. So after the police and paperwork and all I went to his room and sat on his bed. I looked around for anything. Not likely, he was a neat freak I could count his q-tips from his bed 15 feet away on his dresser. So I stumbled towards the door – looked back one last time and did notice a little box in his closet. I opened it and another chest next to it and what I found was heartbreaking. His girl must have dumped him. Stacks of letters all folded neatly so as you open you see the middle first. They were all similar, ” I miss touching you” and that kind of thing. I never even knew he had a girlfriend. Let me scroll down and see who she is.

Her name was ” Love Father Al”


I remember kneeling on the floor holding the letters and having a hard time what I was reading was true. But Danny never did anything by accident , surely not leave sexually incriminating letters about a man he cared about. So I knew he wanted them found. Well, what happened in the following months were disturbing but today I completely understand it. It’s just standard procedure for the pedophiles in the church. You see i brought the letters  to the diocese ready to go with them to law or however they handled this type thing. Well here is how they handle it. Just like they are now with the evidence I have offered them about 6 boys Gondek molested;  ” NO Thanks” . Yep. They refuse to see it.


Maybe you’re wondering how in the world I got involved again with this low life after 20 years? I had lost track of him 15 years ago. I was not even looking. Here is how. The same way you found me. This blog. When I first started it I had a separate About Me page. It is my whole auto-biography. In it I mention my brother’s death and the priest who molested him. Well , in late 2015 I  got an email from a lady who said she found me on my blog. I laughed and said lady I am literally word of mouth. WordPress is the only thing I am on. If you don’t have a blog, and nobody that you know knows me how did you get me?

She proceeded to tell me that Father Gondek had been the Priest at her church for 15 years. She then told me she was searching the internet for any records of him being accused of child rape or whatever and my blog and name popped up. I said, well that  wild, but what can I do for you? She said I need your advice – I don’t know what to do. Last week a young man came to me an told me that he and his 2 friends gznnu been molested for 2 years here at the church. Wow. What are the odds I thought. So I asked h

er to keep me posted and within 2 weeks that young man was deported to Mexico and his family left there. The mouth is gone thought the church. So although they threw some BS at the media when it first came out about an investigation, they never conducted any investigation. Its been 1 and 1/2 years and still no investigation.

The only reason I know what they did with Gondek is because 6 months ago I started bothering the bishops for the results of the investigation. Never did I tell them I had personal ties to this. Just as a social worker who got an anonymous call I had to follow-up. Cocky as ever, they blew me off  for months. A month or so ago on this blog I posted the actual first email response I got in the year I requested. It said ( if you haven’t seen) that Gondek was ex-communicated, guilty all I said ok which law enforcement agency is handling it.

None” His consequence was an early paid retirement an a promise say a lot of prayers.”

So in the last month i have tried to give him ( David Harold-Charlotte NC diocese) the chance to hear my evidence that there is more to this. But just as it was when Danny died and I took the evidence in, he said No thanks. Now granted, he may be finding this out for the first time as you are, but the party is not yet over just because you got rid of your ” Mouth” see while the first victim was in holding jail for deportation , he just happened to meet a very nice volunteer who really took an interest in him. Would you know the young man was kind enough to jot down a few details, like 4 typed pages worth? Yep. And that volunteer got all the names of the other 6 victims, addresses, and each ugly act that Gondek performed on these boys –  AND THEIR FATHERS….you know why? Gondek threatened the families with deportation unless they did what he wanted and when.

So I am fortunate enough to have the only and original copy of the entire 2 year account. And after making some copies for some key people to lock up – I am getting ready to see who wants to play hardball.

Let me tell you honest to God- during the writing of this post I got an email form that same David Harold who has been promising a statement from the bishop for a year. Cocky as ever he ignored my request for a statement, and instead had the nerve to email me a link to an organization who comforts victims of sexual abuse, so I can volunteer there – since I seem to ” want to help people so much” — yeah…

It’s about time that they come to know who really is in charge. I have the sweetest looking 4 pages of paper I have ever seen.  Not sure how it will come out, through the media, a law agency or a film producer maybe.  But the 3 amigos who are covering up a child predator under their own watch are as follows ( remember these names, I hope you see them real soon on national news. But these things can take time. Time is all I got for these pedophile lovers.


1- Head guy ( Bishop Of bullshit Peter Jugis – he is about a year late on that statement to the press he promised;;;

2- David Hain – – another overpaid pedophile protector


3- David Harold- He has had he dirty work to email me, so he must be lowest their chain I am sure his duties vary greatly to the ” big boys” ….

Well, that is how I got involved. I have been accused of only pursuing this since my brother was a victim…which doesn’t make sense,….I did not pursue it, someone  else did.. I am a SOCIAL WORKER- that’s what we do. I just got a blessing from God that He pulled me in to witness this whole charade.

I will keep you all informed and I ask you ot pray justice is served.


 Roses Are Red, Opiates Are Blue -“Go Treat That Addiction” They Say! – “But My Counselors Haven’t A Clue!”

If you’ve ever wondered why I keep pushing for services for everyone and talking about providing treatment that actually does something besides make the providers rich,  and keep talking about providing virtual services and all those things today is your day. You are in for a rare treat, ESPECIALLY if you or a loved one has seemed to be stuck in an addiction cycle forever.

Never in my 23 years as a social worker working with addicts and in mental health or behavioral health,   have I ever been so blessed as I was today to be able to share this with you; actual documented of how truly stupid our whole system is when it comes to addictions treatment. It’s almost hard for me to believe. What you’re looking at is a post on LinkedIn by a clinician that works in addictions. She says ( I am paraphrasing)

“I have this client and he’s like this and this and this anyone got any advice on what to do with him?” I was reading going –No, lady but you should! You are the ” specialist”

You’ll notice it says 83 comments. Out of 83 comments I think they were over 70 opinions from clinicians and doctors and addiction specialists giving opinions on what she might do. Actual opinions suggesting a certain diagnoses and even treatment recommendations.They have never met him don’t know anything about him and they’re recommending their brand of treatment.

Nobody should be publicly posting that type of information to begin with. It would be easy to track the kid down just by where she works, and a little homework. So if you had it in your family or a friend or you are an addict not everybody thinks that you’re crazy. If you’re an addict- I know the truth and there are lots of people who are trying to come forward and help an addict so they can get effective treatment.

It is bad enough that people seem to think addiction is a hobby like golf  – but they don’t even get the fact that just as diabetes is a disease, so is addiction. Would you go to the cancer unit at a major hospital and start yelling at all the patients to ”  snap ” out of it ? Of course not. The families of addicts do it each day. To make things worse, nobody seems to know how to treat it..

I wonder how those people would respond if I told them that about 10% of addicts in treatment right now are doctors…

Personally I was invited to meet with a major insurer in July to be considered in a joint partnership to build treatment centers using my model of care. I am doing all I can to bring awareness to the terrible system we live in. If you have read my home page  ” mental health its a crazy business” you know that this same problem exists there too. Basically whoever or whatever company is getting paid to ” treat ‘ ( its hard to even call it that) patients in addictions and mental health facilities get paid their 50-100k per bed no matter of the patient does better or not..

Forbes Says Treatment Sucks ( In Forbe-Speak)

I want you to keep this in mind every time you want to judge anybody who can’t seem to shake an addiction. Don’t you think they would like to get better instead of being stuck in hell while everyone around them shouts how they should ” try ” harder! Excuse me, but try harder at what?  As you can see the ones supposed to be teaching addicts how to try don’t know themselves! Sad.

Lets hope this momentum keeps up where people are starting to open their mouths like Forbes…






Killer Meds? What Are You Taking?

Not much publicity about the failure rate of psychotropic meds in mental health. However there is plenty of data out there. Which meds have you tried ? 

Join me on Skype

Tj @ dontlabelmykid  would like to chat with you on Skype. Go to

Followers please add. Treatment for all requires all to be involved! We are getting closer. Now we must expand our presence..


Seriously I really am beginning to think y’all are keeping something from me . 

I cannot even stomach the thought of it. String him up. 


Obama@Trump- You Dont Care About American Safety

Are You Serious Mr. President? 

The movie Wag The Dog with Dustin Hoffman comes to mind here.

The financier of the Muslim Brotherhood ( 3 billion ) and the one who has made every effort to take American gun rights, is now making yet another amazing accusation.

President Obama says Trump is not concerned with the safety of this country. Excuse me but was it not you Mr. President who stroked a 3 Billion dollar check to the Muslim Brotherhood a few years back? They used the funds for arms.

You have at the same time tried all you can to take the gun rights of Americans away.  Now when Trump shows concern about the violence with the muslim population you spin it into an anti-religious thing. I for one am glad to hear someone show actual concern for our safety, whereas I have seen nothing but what appears to be a purposeful stripping away of any power and rights we hold by you.


Kids- Nobody Likes To Admit It- But When It Comes Right Down To It- The Tail Waggeth The Dog.


My second youngest daughter is 8. That age when she starts to be aware of ” stuff” like Iphones, make up and the like. My boys are 21 and 18 and I think things went pretty well with them, discipline wise. They did something wrong, they knew a consequence was coming.
Somehow I seem to have more difficulty issuing consequences to my little princess, or ” poca” as I call her after pocahontas. I am still totally 100% in control, dont get me wrong.
It just seems that she has a certain way of tearing up that makes my heart weak I know she couldnt be doing it on purpose. She must really be taking this hard, poor kid.
The thing is, about 15 years ago I spent 5 years as a live in foster parent for teenage girls, 6 at a time. I do seem to recall it being a common source of manipulation for them to turn on the tears when they didnt like the answer they got…
Surely those girls had deep troubles. My baby girl is as innocent as they come.
Until yesterday, that is. My little princess pushed it over the ” my daddy loves me” line. It was a simple thing really, we were all doing a little cleaning up, and I asked her to bring the dust pan from the room she was in, into the room I was in. First I thought I heard a little complaining, but I assured myself it must be the television. Just then, around the corner she flew, stopping at the door and tossing the dust pan right at my forehead.
Something snapped in me. I am not sure what exactly, but it ended with no television for the night and she was a few years younger it would have been much worse. After a few minutes I began to pace around and question myself. I used to teach on this! I taught teachers on this! Parents too. Now I found myself stuck in an uncomfortable position. Not having to issue a consequences, but having to ask my the question ” Why would my daughter ever feel comfortable throwing anything at anyone”- that was my real issue.

The answer in case this has happened to you, is not that you are a bad parent, necessarily. The real answer lies within the circle of role models the child is surrounded with. Especially adults, the teachers, parents friends parents etc..You are the first line for your children. The old saying ” the apple doesnt fall from the tree ” is right on. Many hundreds of times I sat in meetings at schools, whether IEP or another type. During these meetings I would hear a parent cussing his teen up and down for acting out. The child realized at a much younger age what is acceptable in his home, by the modeling of his parents.

We could go on about this subject for hours, but for now, let me throw in one other critical topic that will help you understand how and why your child has to have postivie and negative reinforcement. I taught parent training for Orange County Public schools, and several other large parenting groups for years.The one thing that was always the biggest surprise, and the most difficult for for parents to change, was what we call ” ratios”. Ratios happen all day each day to your child. They come from you, teachers, and other adult instructors.

During the trainings, I would ask the class , if they had to guess what the ratios of postive to negative comments or negative to comments would be in their house on the average day. Most smirked because positive comments were not all to when we finished the average for each class was about 15 negatives for every positive comment. Why is this important? Because psychologists have proven over and over that positive reinforcement is the only way to actually change patterns of behavior. Sure, if people are yelling and screaming you might get them to stop for the moment by yelling negative comments at them. but that is just a band aid.

Here is one way to start seeing changes in your childs behavior and it doesnt require doctors or counseling -just parents and their kids. The idea is to reverse the thinking which on the average is about 15:1 and try to eventually reverse it. You may be thinking ” YOU ARE NUTS” but I promise you if you try the ” catch -em being good” method you will not be dissapointed. The trick is to forget about what you dont want to see. Look for the behaviors you do want to see. Take a small behavior issue like a child looking down when you speak to him. When you repeatedly ask him to look you in the eyes you get nothing. Now, lets say a week has passed, and you are talking to him, when all of the sudden he glances your way for a second. This is your chance to start turning the behavior around. You stop everything and praise the boy for making eye contact. After awhile he will look at you just for the praise. You can apply this to any type behavior, school work, whatever it may be. 15:1 positive to negatives. If you are chuckling at this, imagine if your boss started praising you 15 times a day. Wouldnt that make you likely to continue it? Of course.
Well, I have to go and clean my daughters room now. We made a deal if I did that I could watch the sports channel tonite.




Check this site out if you or someone you knew or know has ever been involved in a suicide attempt or a completed suicide. An international effort (already successful) by the mother of a young man who lost his life to suicide. ( In his case, she believes it was suicide by SSRI meds that he was taking.

Hey we have all seen the commercials for meds, where they quietly and quickly mention that possible ” side effects ” could be suicidal thoughts or worse ” so this is no far out theory. Psychiatry is important, and in some cases meds as well. However we are quickly becoming a cookie cutter world when it comes to mental health. The new DSM V promotes even more labels for people to fit in, the big pharm is pumping out new meds for these faster than the speed of light, to run by the FDA ( $$$) who then allows for the drug to be marketed . Doctors get paid, big pharm continues in a billions and billions industry, and lots of cash is on the line.

What about that line? Don’t we have to draw it somewhere? Soon we will all be walking around like zombies mourning our disorder. By the way, most of you know this, but these diagnoses are ” concocted ” by 200 anonymous psychologists along with the APA. I think there may be a slight conflict of interest there, but I will hold back for now. Also the DSM is a book of SYMPTOMS. No treatment options are offered. It is one of the greatest smoke and mirrors effort to cash out the people by over labeling them.

I think parents need to be very careful when they get the call form their child’s school pushing for a psychiatric evaluation. Very careful.

Check this out, do what you can to get involved in Suicide prevention. Who knows, you may save a life just by getting educated.


3 Reasons Doctors Are Dying …To Treat You.

3 Reasons Doctors Are Dying ...To Treat You.

Doctors have the highest suicide rate of any profession, as most sources will report. In psychiatry for example there are 3 major obstacles to be aware of, that can affect both the patient and the psychiatrist;

1- Drawing a line between treating and empathizing with others and actually carrying the burden of the patient by over sympathizing and attaching. Many doctors have a difficult time separating their life from the lives of the patients they treat. This has proven to be a factor in the suicide rate of doctors in general. The profession alone has the highest suicide rate of all professions, Depression, then can come aboard and eventually it has led to the death of 400 doctors per year, by suicide. There are other factors that can also lead to depression however this seems to be the most prevalent.

2- Stigma/ Consequences attached to self reporting or seeking treatment. Who wants to go see a depressed doctor? The possibilities and scenarios are endless, but sadly there are few if any ways to get the help needed and maintain a level of confidentiality. This, in and of itself has proven to be a major player – untreated mental illness in the field.

3- The knowledge and resources needed to carry out the act of suicide. Suicide is 2nd only to accidents in deaths of physicians. Many times when the option is readily available, the chances of follow through go up. Although hand guns have been used in many deaths, many other methods have also been used by doctors who are well aware what it would take to end their life by chemical ingestion of some type.

It seems we have a weak link in the chain of providers, as these professionals are not really allowed ( professionally ) to have depression, or suffer from a mental illness. Any resources for physicians who need confidential care themselves should be available for them.

Never forget the wounded healer…

Somewhere in this Darkness…

There’s another world inside of me that you may never see. There’s secrets in this life that I can’t hide . Somewhere in this darkness  there’s a light that I can’t find, maybe it’s too far away, maybe I’m just  blind maybe I’m just blind; So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong, hold me  when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone

Everything I am and everything in me wants to be the one you wanted me to be I’ll never let you down even if I could I’d give up  everything if only for your good So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m  wrong you can hold me when I’m scared you won’t always be there so love  me when I’m gone, love me when I’m gone,

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin, I won’t  tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends, and roaming through  this darkness I’m alive but I’m alone- Part of me is fighting this but part  of me is gone.

So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong hold me  when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone everything I am and everything in me, wants to be the one you wanted me to be.

I’ll never let you down even if I could I’d give up  everything if only for your good So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m  wrong You can hold me when I’m scared, you won’t always be there So love  me when I’m gone

Maybe I’m just blind

So hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong hold me when I’m scared and love me when I’m gone Everything I am and everything in me wants to be the one you wanted me to be.

I’ll never let you down even if I could, I’d give up  everything if only for your good so hold me when I’m here, right me when I’m wrong you can hold me when I’m scared, you won’t always be there, so love  me when I’m gone.

Love me when I’m gone, whoa Love me when I’m gone, when I’m  gone When I’m gone, when I’m gone….

Sharing some powerful words from a 3 Doors Down song. I thought it to be very thought provoking and powerful. Hope you listen to the song sometime if you have not!


Does anyone believe that keeping guns from the good guys will help crime?

Does anyone believe that keeping guns from the good guys will help crime?

Children receiving gun training in a school dated 1956. Here is an actual photograph of how gun control was handled back in the day in Indiana, This year, 1956 the kids were trained in proper usage of guns and how to safely carry. The number of school shootings that year in Indiana? 0. I think hours could be spent on this topic, but let us make it simple.

Human nature desires what it cannot have. However most times, when you reverse that way of thinking by making it available, people find that the interest slowly dies down, unless there are some that truly want to learn about the topic. In the case of guns, I think educating children and helping them respect the gun, is a far better choice than hiding guns and acting like our kids cannot get one off the streets. Would you rather tell the children you are raising to stay away from guns and pray that they really do? Or would you find some comfort knowing that a professional is training them to treat any weapon as deadly and teaching them to respect guns?
I have been in that situation, having 5 children. The issue was not always guns, in my case it was one with guns, and then some motocross, and a little bullriding that my kids took interest in at very young ages. I embraced what they enjoyed, made sure they had the most protective gear possible, and have watched one become a champion marksmen through the sheriff’s department, and the teenager after 6 years, still riding bulls. I never “opted” them out of anything, but rather I exposed them to everything and let their own hearts be drawn to what it was they were interested in. Of course I was the one to select what things I exposed them to, so I actually had control. It is called freedom within limits. Everyone gets to feel like they are in charge!
I write this to encourage you NOT to try and shield your babies from the things of the world, but be with them when they encounter certain areas of life, and you be the one to explain it to them. They will get access to all that is out there, period. The choices they make later may have to do with how grounded they already are in what they are into.

Just something to think about!


Suicide Solutions to bullying on the rise with teens.

This is a very sad story, and we had a recent girl do the same thing. How much is their peer influence and how much is lack of parenting? Today people are blaming anything from video games to teachers for their kids’ suicide. Do you think this really traces back to the security or lack of it the child had growing up?