Another Body … Just Another Bum.. A Drunk Most Likely… Should Have Made A Life For Himself. Right? No. That Could Be Us…. { Turning The Corner- Don’t Label My Kid! Lets Do It!} 2017- Taking It Up A Level..We Need Each Other..

Mental Health. Looks like this pretty much , right?  I took this picture 2 days ago. You know why? I assumed when I contacted the law to pick the body up they may want some documentation of when and where I found the guy.  Not that its any big deal, I see these bums all day long here in Daytona. Heck You and me could have ended up like that if we didn’t make the right choices, right? Whatever. Who are we kidding. But for the grace of God, there goes me.

In this case I got to walk away feeling better then I initially thought. You see, when I realized he was stiff, and smelled bad I just instinctively went to see if he had any ID to give the law. I was quite shocked when he about jumped when my hand touched his jacket pocket. He was alive! Sort of. Mike, as I later learned was his name was so scared I came to hurt him that he was shaking, I sat down with him and told him it was all good and I help people like him. I am a social worker. I help all people. No matter the age, race, issues, addictions, etc.

I know you cant see all that well in this picture as far as his age and all, but after we had talked awhile he shared a little about his life. Take a guess as to his age? Just do it, ball park.

Mike is 51.

I was able to offer him some options that he never knew were there. I know because that is my gift. We all have gifts, and in my case I have the ability to identify what people need to make their situation the very best it can be. I have done it for my entire career as a clinical social worker. I have worked with teens, parents, mental health patients, addicted folks, poverty stricken, violent people, even the most seriously developmentally disabled people in the world, literally. I have been called on to improve the quality of life for those who are deaf, dumb, blind, and aggressive. Can you imagine? The people in that arena that I ran programs for were abused so badly as babies that even though many were born ” normal” they had some of the most evil parents and caregivers you could imagine. Tossed in dumpsters as babies left to die, left on the hot Florida beaches as infants simply because the mom or dad was too lazy to bring them to a fire station or another outlet who would gladly have taken them in.

I started a school for 60 felons, ages 11-18. Gang members, 12 year old kids running crack at 3am on school days for their own parents. I lived for 5 years with 45 teens who were sexually abused very severely. Every group of people I worked with I was so thankful to have a God given gift to see through the outside and meet the true need on the inside. Now, before anyone thinks I am bragging – it could not be further from the truth. I am so  ” ungifted ” in some areas that men should be – lol- I remember a time when I had my young boys with me in my truck and I noticed my wipers were bad. I could not see through them. I stopped at the Auto Zone , ordered up 2 wipers in a manly voice…and spent the next 30 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out how to put the blades on until my 7 year old son took pity on me. He installed them in 5.

new life

If you have followed me long you will note that although I share my personal struggles, and trials, I have never laid out an ” I love me post” about my accomplishments in my gifts. One reason is because I realize it is a gift. I can help anyone, in any situation, no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel comfortable bragging about something that I was given. Oh, believe me – I can hang with the best of the braggers. I have the degrees, the awards and all that jazz. I could not even tell you where any of them are right now. I don’t care. I care about educating people and helping them save time, money and stress.

What I love most about what I do is I know every single job duty all those people and more have. But I don’t have to become each one. I sure can steer you to who will actually help you and who wants your money. I can tell you that in many cases I have not been able to get to the parent or family in time before they got taken for a ride to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and more. That’s the reason I am so determined to hold providers of mental health, addictions, behavioral health, and juvenile delinquents accountable for what they do. I know what they should be doing – but you don’t. I am not a psychiatrist, but if you have ever read my home page ” mental heath- its a crazy business” you know I do not mince words. Why? I know the truth.. Do want to know how many doctors or psychologists, psychiatrists have written me nasty letters over the 4 years I have been slamming them? ZERO.

I am sharing this for a reason. I am hanging my shingle again. For 4 years I have poured my heart out on here about my entire life. Its time to help you all get to where you need and want to be. And I am asking you to trust your family or personal needs into my care. I make the same promise I have kept my entire career. I will NEVER leave you broken. An I will certainly never leave you broke.  I don’t discharge my families when they go through a rough patch financially. I love using my gift. You may have noticed I have never taken a dime for any thing here, I do not sell ads like some. This audience that you all are was hand picked. I have never connected to the internet, other then this WordPress sight.

Last check this blog has had visitors from 65 countries ( that I know of ) and followers from at least 25 that I know of. That’s not my doing. It is no accident. You all are here for a reason. I am here to help.

When Mike Carey came along and was willing to join with this mission, I was and still am ecstatic. Why? Because Mike and I share a similar passion. We both love to use our gifts to help others. We both will never leave anyone hanging until they are well.  I am gong to show you a real life example of how God has already used Mike in my own family. Most of you know I have 2 grown boys, and 2 baby girls. Well, babies to me, they are 5 & 10.

This is my baby Shelbi..

My baby had 72 sticks with a needle that her doctor insisted on to test for allergies. For nothing. Next up he said – blood work! No. No way.. But what can I do? Better late then never – I called our resident gifted man in the healing of diseases. He said ” you took her where” ? ( made me feel even lower lol) –  No more he said , get her on the phone with me tonight for a minute or two. I was thinking to myself-  Hello!! What was I thinking? Tonight Shelbi said hello to Mr. Mike for about 2 minutes, and 10 minutes later he says ” oh she has some poisoning in her system and a viral infection. Go to your local health food store and get 2 items ( like 5 bucks each) and in 7 days it will be gone.

HUH?? What? Why did I forget the other people I have sent to him who had major diseases go away? Anyways no blood work and that’s  Mikes gift.

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If you need physical healing – take advantage of  this gift right in front f you . If its healing in any other area, call on me. I work on a case by case basis, until the job is done. I want you all to take this email address down.

Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – to help with Tj-

that is your direct line to me. I will be adding a toll free number as well but for now get me there. I will develop with you what I call a  “Plan of Care ”

There is NO issue you can throw at me that I havent done a hundred times. Confidentially we will put it all in place and work it out financially It sure would make me feel good if you all would entrust your needs to Mike and I. I thank you in advance . .

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With all we are trying to accomplish through this platform of Don’t Label My Kid!  It would really make a big difference if you all would commit to utilizing the gifts that Mike and  I have- for your own family. so that we can keep on helping others and continue trying to do what we do ..put pedophiles away -heal families -help addicts-  bring families together and just grow spiritually , emotionally and physically.

God Bless you all . Please Step up for this..

Tj

2017 Series -Getting Through The Dark Times; Faith It ‘Til Ya Make It!

 

In the last 4 years I have written about many topics from parenting to depression, addiction to PTSD, medication, suicide, therapy  and so much more. It seems like a lot but as I have always said, I don’t speak on anything that I haven’t lived through personally or at the very least studied professionally. In the beginning I thought writing about so many different types of issues would make it seem like life is filled with nothing but bad stuff. However  I learned two important things in the last four years; I am not alone, and people need to hear from others who can relate.

So far I have mostly  discussed all the different types of problems and medical mental health struggles and family issues that exist. And there’s plenty to discuss no doubt. . Up until now, I have not really delved into how we deal with these issues as we go through these dark trials. Its imperative that we have some way of staying grounded during these times we walk  through the valley.

 It’s very important that we have some sort of an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from reality when we feel so lost in such darkness, and with so few friends. As most of you have understood, if I shared my life experiences, some of these times are gone through very much alone and there are not many people around that can relate. Unless you really search. And most of the time we don’t feel like searching for anything when we’re barely able to wake up every day and get dressed. Having been through very traumatic times that caused depression, and nightmares and loneliness and sometimes the inability to function normally. I can understand the darkness that prevails if we allow it to.

 There’s a few things in my life that I can honestly say, are the only reasons that I am here today, both physically and mentally spiritually and emotionally. I know that if it took those things to keep me saying then all of you also had to have some way that you’ve coped something that held you together. and some? To that you’ve used to make it to the point, we are able to even write about it today on a blog. The truth is professionally I’ve seen that it isn’t a very high percentage of us that are able to make it even this far- in fact we are a  very blessed group of people to have come through what we have and able to share it with other people. Speaking of sharing it with other people that is a critical piece in healing. It isnt always about us -the spotlight can’t always be on us even in our dark times and the truth is some of the ways out of these dark times the very quickest are by reaching out to others and pulling them up with the knowledge we have.

Sometimes when you need a friend the most you got to go and be a friend to someone. . Sometimes when you need encouragement the most you need to go and encourage someone. And even sometimes when you need financial help, you need to reach out to someone who you know could use what little bit you have and help them.. The point is as tempting as it is when we are in these dark times, the worst thing we can do is send out invitations for a pity party. I have always found some good advice from a guy that sings a song full of truth abut these times. I would like to share this song with you and I’ve shared the one with lyrics so you can read along… Please take 3:38 minutes out and watch it…at the end of this post. It may just resonate with you somehow…( you may have to click on it to play it)

So as I kick off the on going series on how we have made it to the point we are, I would ask that you all share any advice that you have. I shared all the problems lol- now I need help with looking at many solutions. I am leaving this wide open, and welcome any guest posts on the topic. Like I said – the more you share the more therapeutic it is.

So lets see where this goes y’all

If You’re Going Through Hell..

 Roses Are Red, Opiates Are Blue -“Go Treat That Addiction” They Say! – “But My Counselors Haven’t A Clue!”

If you’ve ever wondered why I keep pushing for services for everyone and talking about providing treatment that actually does something besides make the providers rich,  and keep talking about providing virtual services and all those things today is your day. You are in for a rare treat, ESPECIALLY if you or a loved one has seemed to be stuck in an addiction cycle forever.

Never in my 23 years as a social worker working with addicts and in mental health or behavioral health,   have I ever been so blessed as I was today to be able to share this with you; actual documented of how truly stupid our whole system is when it comes to addictions treatment. It’s almost hard for me to believe. What you’re looking at is a post on LinkedIn by a clinician that works in addictions. She says ( I am paraphrasing)

“I have this client and he’s like this and this and this anyone got any advice on what to do with him?” I was reading going –No, lady but you should! You are the ” specialist”

You’ll notice it says 83 comments. Out of 83 comments I think they were over 70 opinions from clinicians and doctors and addiction specialists giving opinions on what she might do. Actual opinions suggesting a certain diagnoses and even treatment recommendations.They have never met him don’t know anything about him and they’re recommending their brand of treatment.

Nobody should be publicly posting that type of information to begin with. It would be easy to track the kid down just by where she works, and a little homework. So if you had it in your family or a friend or you are an addict not everybody thinks that you’re crazy. If you’re an addict- I know the truth and there are lots of people who are trying to come forward and help an addict so they can get effective treatment.

It is bad enough that people seem to think addiction is a hobby like golf  – but they don’t even get the fact that just as diabetes is a disease, so is addiction. Would you go to the cancer unit at a major hospital and start yelling at all the patients to ”  snap ” out of it ? Of course not. The families of addicts do it each day. To make things worse, nobody seems to know how to treat it..

I wonder how those people would respond if I told them that about 10% of addicts in treatment right now are doctors…

Personally I was invited to meet with a major insurer in July to be considered in a joint partnership to build treatment centers using my model of care. I am doing all I can to bring awareness to the terrible system we live in. If you have read my home page  ” mental health its a crazy business” you know that this same problem exists there too. Basically whoever or whatever company is getting paid to ” treat ‘ ( its hard to even call it that) patients in addictions and mental health facilities get paid their 50-100k per bed no matter of the patient does better or not..

Forbes Says Treatment Sucks ( In Forbe-Speak)

I want you to keep this in mind every time you want to judge anybody who can’t seem to shake an addiction. Don’t you think they would like to get better instead of being stuck in hell while everyone around them shouts how they should ” try ” harder! Excuse me, but try harder at what?  As you can see the ones supposed to be teaching addicts how to try don’t know themselves! Sad.

Lets hope this momentum keeps up where people are starting to open their mouths like Forbes…

tj

 

 

 

 

If you happen to feel like your life has no meaning, and just sucks, perfect! Read.

My friend in high school and I clicked as soon as we met .Just one of those things. Since we both liked to laugh we took any opportunity we had to, well not just make people laugh, but make them think as well.

Since he was black and I am white, one of our favorite gigs was to walk in a store and engage in a conversation that was meant to get a reaction from people around us.

I might say loudly, ” hey grab some ribs, I know how you black folk cant enough of that”

He would act offended and say ” we changed it back to African American, crackka.”.

Then on the way out I’d tell the store manager that he might want to check his pockets. My buddy would act mad and say ” why- just cuz im a black man I am a thief?”

And of course  I would shrug my shoulders , look at him, then the manager and say ” hey cuz , just keepin it real, I mean 88% of incarcerated men are negr..I mean African American”

Depending how much fun we were having we would either quit or just keep it rollin. 

Once we were out the door we would be busting out laughing just on the reactions we got. We didnt know it at the time , but we were learning too.

I guess looking back now we were pretty fortunate because we were both brought up to know that racism is on the inside not the outside. I mean I’ve seen hillbilly racism black racism mexican racism every kind of racism.Ugly knows no color.

Those few years were short but they ended up actually defining much of my life and my perspective on how I would communicate and how I would engage in conversation with people.Really whether or not I was going to be a sheep or buck and go solo.

In all honesty as I got a little bit older and got married I was told that I kind of spoke my mind too much and too clearly and wasn’t very careful with my words.

For awhile I’d check myself and try to fit in- polish my speech and act as everybody else was but it never felt right.It never felt normal to me so eventually I turned back into myself.

There were a few things that I had to correct that I didn’t even realize, some of the language that I had used but in general I just stuck to myself and said what was on my mind- not to offend anybody and I never purposely would intentionally offend anybody but I spoke what was on my mind.

It had nothing to do with me trying to impress anybody, just my personality and if I got any criticism and realized that I had offended anybody I would certainly correct it without any hesitation.

As the years went by I continued in my normal way of communicating but I noticed that people seemed to be kind of surprised by the way I spoke or they might inquire as to why I thought the way I did or say that I had an unusual way of expressing myself. Even say I had a special way of explaining things but I never really thought much about it.To me thats what you do, say what you think . But their was more to it .

Fast forward 25 years and just in the last few years I’ve realized that everybody has gifts. Some people are artists some people are accountants some people have administrative gifts and some people have gifts of communication or writing or other gifts.

I really never spent much time focusing on my gifts because fortunately I was brought up not to focus just on mine, but other peoples as well.

But the fact that I didn’t pay attention to it didn’t mean that it wasn’t there and the fact that you might not know what your gift is doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

The reason I’m telling you this it’s because I’ve just recently realized that my entire life I have spoken and written as if I was all alone and really never considered that there are other people watching listening or reading. At first when I recognized that I was a little bit frightend.As if I might have really let loose on some personal and sensitive things. I did.

But it was ok. Because it was the real me and everyone knew that. It never was  intended  to hurt anyone. There is a big difference between saying or writing something intentionally to hurt someone, and saying or writing the same thing when the person knows you are speaking simply what is on your heart. Even if it is offensive they know it isnt meant for them.

Recently, for the first time in years I actually took time to see why people even read things I have written over the years , this blog and other things I have done. Why people have invited me to speak to large groups of people and run programs with 40 people working for me who all had higher degrees then me. Heck I cant even make a tie hang around my neck.

To my amazement much of the feedback and comments had to do with the fact that I was being transparent. I had to think about that for a minute because I wasn’t trying to be anything .That’s just how I communicate.It really got me to thinking. Is it that rare that people write what they think? What other way is there? Does  everyone else have some kind of secret buffer between their brain and their lips or what? It is rare!! Wow.

 I was just writing to myself.I was just speaking to myself and there happened to be 150 people seated in front of me.  When I write I don’t pay attention to anybody else or anything, I don’t write for other people I write what’s on my mind. No matter the venue, its always the same routine, once I put my head down to start writing it goes until my thinker is empty. 

I wonder what I would have written if I had paid attention to who is watching or reading or listening all my life? Would I change what I said? Would I have altered my speech or be careful not to say anything that I thought might not be pleasing to the eye or ear of a reader? What a horrible life it would be. 

Here is the key. It was clear to me that this communication style or writing technique was a God given gift, to me, and for me to use to help others in some way. Should I feel like Im bragging ? Of course not! I didnt come up with it. I never studied writing.I never took speech lessons.  Im using the gift I was blessed with as best as I know how. The secret to knowing you are using your God given gift, not a manufactured human attempt at having a gift is simple.

 Its in the fruit. 

As I look back over the years now, I am shocked at all the things that have come from MY work! Lol!

Yeah, its my work alright, but He gave me the tools. I always remember this, and try never to step outside of my true gifts, because well, been there and done that.

The problem there is you notice a sudden absence of ANY fruit! Like a huge drive by fruiting just passed you in the hood…( sorry I couldnt resist)

You get the point.Find your areas of gifting . Every single one of us has gifts from God. Period. To my atheist, agnostic, buddhist , and all other friends, you just insert the name you prefer if God or Jesus seems to really get to ya…

But go after your gifts. Its not about us.Yes we get to finally have some sense of value in life when we in fact find and work with our gifts.. It makes you know you are here for a special purpose. If you are a cabinet maker, be the best cabinet maker you can be. If you build supersonic jets, build the biggest and baddest you can. Whatever your gift is, never ever decieve yourselves in thinking your  gift isn’t as important as someone else’s.

You dont always get to recieve praise and accolades while using your gift, although some may more than others.

Watch this-

I have seen a little old lady with the gift of mercy take in a homeless man, hook him up with clean  clothes, a shower take him to church and change his entire life just by connecting him with men at the church who give him a job. The story gets better because he meets a  woman at that church and falls in love..

A year after he crawled out of his cardboard box in the woods and the little lady using her gift got hold of him, he is holding a brand new baby girl and the woman he loves.

Some things even a supersonic jet cannot produce….

Dont stay stuck if thats where you are. If you wanted apples and planted tree after tree in your yard for years, with not one apple, how long would you keep on?

Is that where you are?  Good news. The tree store is still open , to everyone. Go get the right one and watch what it produces..

Go get your gift.

Tj

(You can find tests on line to help determine your gifts. This has to come from a bible based organization and many are free or very inexpensive. Remember we are not talking about skills. You can learn skills. Thats great too. But the gift is what you want. )