Read the body of this post before watching the clip.
Above is the link to the 8:56 minute video that is offensive. I feel the information in it is worth overlooking the time of total crude language. I hope you do too.
Wow. I never imagined I would air a clip of an atheist bi-sexual arguing with black people who are still playing the victim about things like slavery and other issues. This guy is straight up rude, arrogant, offensive and much more. He curses more in here then I have had on this blog in 5 years combined. Yet I cannot pass up the opportunity to let the whole world see and hear the truths that are laid out, albeit in an extremely offensive manner. However if an argument or debate that reveals truth so we can move on requires 8 minutes of offensive language I think its worth it.
I am warning you to have your young kids in another room, and if you are one of those people like a few in my old church who runs as fast as they can if anyone says “shit” because they are too ” Godly ‘ then don’t bother. You will have to do what I did, and overlook the offensive and see the amazing truths that are in the midst of them.
Watch at your own risk. One more warning, this is an 8 minute video of an arrogant atheist arguing with a few angry black people about sensitive issues. If you cannot handle that then skip it.
One Last Note- This video ends at around 8:56 or so. I advise you to have your hand on the control by 8 minutes. It only gets worse after this debate. I also will tell you that you may see ads and things that are as inappropriate as this guy. Ignore them and get your 8 minutes of truth. If it bothers you so much that he is rude, pray for him.
Sometimes I like to incorporate humor into my posts to keep the site from just being about depression and addiction and PTSD etc… I just cannot be all too funny with this. This is a topic that is DEADLY. I remember, because my brothers suicide wont seem to get out of my mind some days. So I am going to ask everyone to stop and read this, and you know what it may not even apply to you. But it could prevent what happened with my family. I cannot undo the gunshot that ended my brothers life. But I can share my 20 years of experience in mental health and addictions, from a personal, and then a professional standpoint. I sure hope you will send this to anyone that seems like they may be one step away from tragedy. If it is you. I tell you what to do at the end. Anyhow, I hope you take this to heart. Anyone who follows me knows how much I love you all and just want to keep getting the word out that you cannot delay treatment for mental health without terrible consequences. But let me say this, there is some really good news on here about the success we are having worldwide in a new area to help….tj
Is Therapy Going To Drive Me To Suicide?
Most people in and around the mental health field as a client or provider are familiar with these two terms. The question is, what is the difference? Its a valid question that deserves an honest answer.
So your deciding how to address the situation your going through and the options. Whether it be a depression issue, a divorce issue or any other circumstance that has proved itself to be interfering in your routine to the point that you need at least some action. Lets face it, there are thousands of different providers who all claim to offer up the most successful, healing, lasting and least restrictive and intrusive on your life.
Where do you start? A friend’s recommendation? An ad that catches your eye or ear? The most well known methods? Its a tough call for anyone. It does not have to be. You see just as we have progressed in other industries like automobiles, and appliances and homes, the same applies when it is time for mental health choices. We don’t screw bolts into the sides of peoples heads anymore to see the effect. We don’t torture people hoping to alter behavior or feelings. Things have improved. Much progress has been made in these areas and you will do yourself a disservice by not following up on what is working and what is not.
Just because you are struggling with an issue in your life does not paralyze your ability to educate yourself. Of course you must be strong enough to make your own decisions and choices on treatment unless you are in need of inpatient care. This post is about outpatient care. If you follow along you just may see clearly some things that have been unclear until now. I have had extensive experience in both coaching and therapy, both as a client, and eventually as a professional for 20 years. To try and break down all the theories of personality and modalities of treatment would take an entire book. In my opinion it is not necessary.
Everyone has their opinion about what works best and many of the ideas have validity and can indeed help. However do you want to get 45% help when another method would bump that up to 85%? Of course not. Let me add that I have no dog in the hunt. Our team together has decades of experience in just about every major modality used in outpatient therapy. If you want to come lay on a couch each week while we remind each other how miserable your life has been, someone will take your money. But what about outcomes? After all the whole point of therapy is to get better and move on with your life, right?
What if medication is recommended? We all know that game right? Try this for 6 weeks, if it does not make you feel good we will change to the next, and the next and so on. You may be caught up in a weekly sit down regurgitating old dark memories for a year before any medications start working. That is , if they ever work, since even major drug makers have admitted that 5 or 6 of their latest anti-depressants actually cause suicidal thoughts.
OOPS! Yeah, it does happen and it is not uncommon.
But even so, therapy is just so much more ” professional ” sounding. It must be the best if its been around so long. I mean this coaching thing is fairly new. Why take chances on that when you can enjoy the benefits listed above of a therapeutic model?
Maybe because coaching works.
Lets take a closer look at this whole coaching model. The coaching models at least that I am familiar with takes the therapy model and turns it on its head. It rejects everything traditional long term therapy stands for.
Coaching focuses on what is right in your life. What you can do well. What strengths we have. A return to normalcy as soon as possible in the least restrictive environment is key. On the other hand have we all not at one time or another seen a post or article that begins with ” I have been seeing my therapist now for 5 years ” or ‘ My therapist says he thinks I need a higher dose of medication”. If you have not, you need not leave WordPress because they are everywhere.
Try finding one that says they have had their coach for more than a few months. It will be tough. The reason being is coaches create independence for you by emphasizing what you can do and have done well, whereas a typical therapy session will hover around how many failures or let downs occurred and how did you deal with them. If not monitored closely therapy can simply become something you must depend on and have or you will crack. It also can make for real strong job security for the provider. I am in no way saying that this is always the case, I am simply pointing out the facts.
Let me give you another example that may be easier to illustrate. AA & NA have been absolutely famous and known to be the savior for millions who swear they cant make it without it. There is good reason for that. Part of the mantra you must repeat and repeat and repeat until its drilled in your head is that you are powerless over your addiction. Sounds like pure healthy honesty right? We need to face the truth, right? The problem here folks is that most AA & NA programs have a tough time breaking into double digits as far as success in remaining sober for 12 months. Hmm. Sounds like AA & NA need the addicts more than the addicts need it.
Now I can already here people yelling at me reciting the serenity prayer and how the program has kept you clean for 5 years. If that is true, good for you and stick with it. The problem is we have this other 90% who fail and fail and fail. This group is just as important as the 10% who are doing well. right? The program or therapeutic modality cannot replace the addiction. Trading one addiction for another is , well not the goal.
Lets quickly review. Coaching is a process where someone trained in the area your needing comes along side of you and helps you identify your strengths, address any negative patterns that are interfering with your life and resets your thinking and goals to align with your abilities. This process in general is a much shorter and effective one that rarely disturbs your daily routine and acts more as a cheerleader to help you up and out of a rut then a tape recorder that plays your most hideous memories over and over until one week you think you have it beat- but then at your therapy session your forced to drag it back out of the dark corner of your head.
Coaching is not becoming dependent in any way on someone else. Therapy can lead to a total dependency on a person to survive, and even worse create a stigma that you are lesser of a person because you cannot live life normally or without the handicap of a label, diagnoses, or medication.
Am I saying that therapy is a waste and coaching is the only way to get help? Of course not. What I absolutely am saying is that one better be educated on their true need lest they become involved in a very dependent situation that may strip you of self esteem when that method is not needed. I have been a therapist. I have been a coach which is what I am more involved in then formal therapy. There will always be times when someone is in need of long term clinical therapy. What I have learned however is that everyone deserves the chance to be helped up and out of a rut through short term coaching before the much more restrictive clinical environment.
Besides the the stigma, the dependency, and the long term visits in the therapy model, you also need to understand that the difference financially between the two are radical and you are talking tens of thousands of dollars for any long term clinical therapy and that is besides medications. Why would you put yourself or anyone you love in that box before you give them a chance to be coached back to health? So far I have given you my personal and career experience, but in case your wondering, the established and very well run coaching programs that are in existence now are running circles around any treatment centers for addictions and over 20 other issues from domestic violence to PTSD. As a matter of fact many insurance companies wont even pay for therapy anymore. That is right, they pulled out and are happy to pour their efforts into legit coaching programs. Why would they, when the success rates on coaching is 75% and up and traditional treatment centers around 20%? Not to mention coaching is 1/3 the cost if not more to you and to insurers.
I want to close with a very important point. This article is designed to offer new options and hope to those who may not be familiar with coaching model. Any good therapist or doctor will tell you the truth about whether long term expensive therapy is needed or if coaching is what will work best for the client. I wont lie to you, just like any industry, not every provider is truthful and many will keep you or your child locked up and medicated as long as the payer will pay. Authorities are trying to crack down on those who use clients for personal gain but with tens of thousands of programs, it is very hard.
Take a few minutes and enjoy a laugh. The Old School Psychiatrists Were Just a little more upfront and honest with their patients then in today’s world- Would it not be nice if all Doctors were this up front! Today she would likely here ” Maam, you have OCD, your in denial, you are paranoid and I think these 3 prescriptions may help….We can all learn a thing or two from this Bob Newhart clip…
I have worked with and still do some of the finest clinical therapists around and they are excellent. Doctors as well and in no way am I saying nobody needs clinical therapy. What I am doing here is giving you all a little heads up about what is coming down the pipe. Coaching has proven itself, its cost effective, and is the latest and greatest alternative to what we had to live with. You will hear about it if you have not. All the Don’t Label My Kid! Team members are coaches and you can check out our areas of expertise on the home page menu. Read a quick bio of what we each do and reach out to us if you think you need help. We always work with people and have yet to turn anyone away.
This is a post I would not have written even two years ago. However the coaching success, and opportunities for those who have been coached to actually become working coaches after they find success makes this a win win for anyone and everyone. Don’t put it off anymore. No matter what the age, race, background, or need- believe me we have been there and done it. Just look at our bios and you will understand. If you are doing great, and your kids are doing great. but you have this friend from church, neighbor, or relative that is hurting- be the one to help them get help. You never know what people may be just one more step away from and the tragedy of ignoring it can do.
When my brother shot himself after we just watched some television together, I sure wish I would have asked him why he was so quiet for 2 hours. But, I did not. Instead he walked out the door and shot himself in the head. Don’t let that happen to anyone you know. Contact us immediately for prompt response.
Write these contacts down. Print this out. Share with a friend. Share with your followers. We cannot help unless you get in touch. At the bottom is a personal cell number that is available to call 24/7- 365. If you are in trouble now, or know who is , you may call it anytime.
Otherwise for a consult about a family plan, or individual need and 100% confidential, email one of these – leave a contact number in the subject if you wish to be called back
firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
When I first became a father and my kids got to be toddlers there were a lot of mini – crisis type situations. You see as a new parent who was trying to be the best parent I could I began to ” anticipate ” their problems and began to comfort them for things they hadn’t even cried about yet.
many times looking back I think they must have wondered If I was I was in need of some comfort by my over reactions to their little bumps and bruises. You see most times that I jumped up and made a big thing of a little blood or a bump , my child raced over to me. I was more likely to go to them basically to alert them that they should be angry right now , perhaps some crying is in order…lol
I know it sounds crazy but I think we have all been there. Some just on ” first baby syndrome” ” but many act this way for the whole childhood.
Thankfully due to my career and education I was alerted that I was doing this all wrong. I also learned that the so-called ” concerned parent ” was not always an innocent party. Believe it or not there are parents that use their children as tools get sympathy and attention for themselves. The ones you see in Wal-Mart, dragging a kid by the wrist, screaming and yelling, and the mother or father is talking out loud at the child and neither of them are listening to each other. And nothing is getting accomplished.
Many times the adult chooses to keep it public rather than take it to the restroom , just to get that ” people are seeing me suffering ‘ rush. They are the ones who instead of whisking the child to a restroom or outdoors, just kind of smile and tilt their heads at other adults in the store, seemingly trying to make eye contact with someone who will feel sorry for them as the shrieks from the toddler reach glass breaking levels. That is more of a sickness like Munchausen syndrome, where mothers use their babies to draw attention to themselves by pretending they have many disorders and diseases that they do not.
For the purpose of this post I am speaking to non Munchausen moms or dads. People who just were not taught about how to stretch your child and make them as independent as possible.
Instead of meeting them at the point where they had clearly shown they were not capable of bouncing back on their own, I jumped in to the rescue and saved the day. I even noticed other parents who also had toddlers handling it differently , and kind of expecting their kids to sort through most of these tantrums or minor accidents without coddling.
How insensitive, I remembered thinking. He’s just a little rug rat, an ankle biter! What do you expect from him?
That question ” what do you expect from him ” actually became an anchor of sorts for me as I matured a bit. These parents were not neglecting their children . They were setting boundaries. They were teaching them how to be as independent as possible for their ages. They understood that the more coddling and intervention now, the more likely that you just bought a one way coddling ticket all the way through childhood and even into adulthood.
So I will give you one example that I think is universal and was critical in me figuring out how to respond. It is what I call the ” how should I act now ” stare. Now pay close attention because this is a very short window of time. This stare is when a child falls and bumps their head, or another child says something mean or steals their toy ..something along those lines…
It goes down pretty quick so you must be on guard. It is the 15-30 seconds or so RIGHT AFTER the fall, the comment, or the toy is taken. It’s a very temporary pause in your toddlers thought process where they are considering just how they should feel about what just happened. It consists of a slow head turn to locate you then a direct scan if you right to the bulls-eye, your eyes..it will be your eyes that determine how they respond. Your lips are next. How you look and what you say in 99% of cases will totally dictate your child’s response to the little crisis.
If you are guilty of being a wide-eyed loud mouthed run to your child parent you need you reset and fast. Or your child will be so dependent on other people at each little problem they have that they won’t have much chance of succeeding in anything they do..
If you know the child is not poisoned or at risk of losing a limb, you need to play it as down as much possible and respond as if they had asked for some kool-aide. My rule of thumb was to always do one unrelated task before going to their side to investigate. Such as say to your child “do you all need some help over there?” Alright honey let me finish this page in my book and I’ll come check it out.” Or if they run to you and you know it’s not extremely painful or life threatening, you tell them to sit down next to you until you finished.
One way to tell if you’re at the point of no return in this scenario is if you get what I call the ” open but silent mouth ” treatment …this is where they have you locked in on the eyeballs but maybe they are facing another direction but turned to look at you needing guidance on whether to let out a huge shriek, or just return to playing because your eyes say its OK.
Now if you are one of those moms who runs and shrieks and screams every time any little thing happens and you’ve already trained them to do the same. All hope is not lost…
But it does require a specialized behavioral plan for in home to reroute those behaviors and retrain your child’s brain and we do that here.
The important part to remember about this post is that to a great extent, you control how your child will respond to just about any circumstances . You train them how to respond by your actions and by how you model the reaction to the situation. If you find yourself in needing that dramatic flare and major league episode every time anything occurs with your toddler or child, it’s most likely that you are one looking for attention, not them.
There is no reason your child should not be able to bump their elbows and be bleeding from both arms and not calmly walk over to you and ask you to get a band-aid.
Everything depends on your reaction to the situation. Set your child up for success in this world. Long after your gone, nobody is going to jump in and be jrs. savior..
You know the media is the media and they will slant here and slant there. However there is a time…when you just have to present truth because you realize it will come out eventually and then you will look like a complete moron. Kind of like CNN has been looking. Lately calling for the impeachment of Trump , citing some glitch in policy or whatever. Meantime, back at the ranch in their newsroom, and off the air, this is what they are really looking at but do not report. Amazing.
Your Freedom In 60 seconds my brothers and sisters
I am literally shaking right now in awe and I am hoping to make it through this break without a complete breakdown of blood boiling excitement.
We have just gotten confirmation that our world and those who have been enslaved to the addictions in this world which has caused millions of lives to be ruined, are TOTALLY FREE of its reach anymore. Recent discoveries about telling your mom you have a problem and crafty moves like refusing to give up on HOPE- is all that is really involved.
Yes – you can believe It! Hundreds have confirmed by their ” likes” and this has now been verified.. after billions of dollars and studies, and decades spent trying to break this code- the mystery of addiction has been solved.
While scientists have been researching genetics and the like over the years in laboratories and researching socioeconomic backgrounds to try and find any link to freedom from addiction- it turns out by just a few easy steps it can be done. It has been right in front of us all this time. Its actually being reported in my ear piece from central command that pill bottles are falling from the sky as well as alcohol bottles, presumably tossed from bloggers in high story apartments and high rises who have received our breaking news already..
Those in treatment facilities that have been in bondage to this are rising up and walking away. http://wp.me/p7hi1Z-a12
As you may have noticed by now just by looking around your office, everyone is taken aback that this hundreds years old mystery had been solved and revealed right here on WordPress, and best of all, it will take 1 minute of your precious time to scan and conquer your lifelong addiction..
Elders and Statesman and well-known actresses are now actually stopping their activities to witness history being made here on WordPress…
To think , in one minute, you too will have the key that unlocks addiction. As it says in the manual here- you just don’t lose hope. You tell another you have a problem. It turns out that admitting you have a problem is actually the FIRST step! Who would have thunk? Ladies & Gentleman, may I present your key to freedom in a 1 minute read…click and be free..
Tomorrow is my birthday. Now I got that out-of-the-way. That is an ” attention grabber” . The title is half the battle according to some. Read on…
I am not one to write all about myself much, but today ( the day before my birthday) I figure I will make it up in this post. Just kidding but I do have a few things I have read on some posts on how to increase traffic, likes, and comments, that I want to share and if applicable give my take on.
The most recent tips were;
1- Not too long -1000 words or less in general with the occasional long read. ( I just need to trim my average about 500 words.) I can’t say whether it is right or not, but I will try it.
2- Catch the attention of the eyes.. photos, etc ( I have for sure noticed that the less text and more pics equals more likes) However you cannot eliminate text or no substance will be there. Enough to make it valid but not belabor the point. ( BTW belabor is a fairly new word for me. Picked it up off some old guy at the library last year and after I found out it was not about pregnancy, I dug it.
3-Like ( or love) what you write about This one is tricky for me since I like to write in general, not only things I am passionate about. But, I am pickin’ up what they are puttin’ down.
4-Keep on a certain track or direction. – NOT! No Way. Deal Breaker for me. It could be my Ad-Hd or my constant random thoughts but the idea of never ever straying off path is, well…I would rather stick needles in my eyeballs.
As a matter of fact not to be rebellious but this is the perfect spot to introduce something I am going to start doing. Now. I have not been able to pin this down until an hour ago when I unplugged my radio from the wall, and it kept playing for like 4 seconds after the cord was out. Why? That defining moment in my life actually made me be able to articulate what it is I have been wanting to start doing once in a awhile.
A post about anything, A Seinfeld post. Just thoughts that may or may not be related that I am having. It happens all the time to me, but they are never all one subject so they never get posted.. Why not? I am going to do it just like I shared about the radio cord. That is true, it happened and it made me wonder. Would it not be nice if we can just type whats on our mind once in a while worrying if the body is the right length for the total word count and all that useless garbage. ( ok not useless).
Here are a few samples. Real stuff I have thought for no good reason today already.
1- I used to be a dolphin trainer when I was going through college.
2-Why do so many people dig some of my posts but only a small percent take time to say why? I do.
3- I think Hillary and Obama should be on death row. I love Donald Trump, and think God sent him to salvage this country before Obama’s 8 year plan came into fruition and Hillary ushered us into full on Sharia law and made this a muslim country.
4-My brother killed himself because this priest I have been writing about groomed and doomed him in high school. Now he has molested 6 others and nobody seems to give a damn.
5- I love Pizza and miss dirt bikes.
So it’s about 9 am and these are the things ( I remember) that have passed through my mind. Why should I spend hours trying to qualify each thought and make it into a full post? We would not do that if we were just having breakfast at McDonald’s right? We just stare at each other until we see something or think of something we want to comment on. I am just carrying it on here. That’s all. I think a lot of you will get it and like it.
Oh, one last tip I read about was use lots of reverse psychology.
With that said, please do not like, comment, reblog or even think about this post after you read it. So NO LIKES. NO COMMENTS – : } got that?
I sincerely hope that every parent who is considering sending their child to Catholic anything will seriously reconsider. This man is basically giving the thumbs up for his flock of pedo-priests to pursue homosexual relationships within the church.
How scary is that?
Off duty priest trolling
Its your call people but this is no joke. I would not let my kid ride their bike past a catholic church these days, much less give them over to a priest for anything.
Confession just ain’t what it used to be.
Remember-this freak has admitted or been found guilty in over 10 cases in recent years, which means he has probably racked up 20x that which we don’t know about. What did he get? An early paid retirement and no consequences except a promise to pray. Father Albert Gondek- Lexington North Carolina richest man in Lexington North Carolina. He should have been in front of a firing squad decades ago. However The Charlotte North Carolina diocese, headed by Peter Jugis, David Harold and David Haine decided Gondek should get an early retirement for all his stress…how pathetic.
Some footage of the fellas hanging out on some downtime in the Catholic diocese in Charlotte North Carolina….I hear every night at 6 is nail painting pajama party..rumor has it those rascals like to jump on the beds and have a pillow fight – followed by a dog pile…oh boys will be boys..
They are always looking to serve, even on days off. It’s as if they can’t get enoughof just loving on people-especially those little guys..
Some volunteer at the mall as a big furry animal, some are out on skate patrol checking all the local playgroundsto make sure the children have someone watching them….
The guys are willing to do whatever it takes – even potty training and changing duty at the local mall just to give the parents a few minutes to shop alone.When asked if they ever get tired of serving the response from all were amazing. The skating priest really summed it all up – ” Tired of it? This is what keeps us going! As a matter of fact I think I speak for all my fellow priests when I say that a good 75% of us are here just for the kids!”
Ooh! I think I see Bugs Bunny at the mall on potty duty today! It’s a dirty, dirty job. Very few people could even think about doing that!
The Throw Down !
Like A Junkyard brawl- these two were the winners at the Bishops weekly drawing and got the coveted Playground Patrol- but instead of a feel good day identifying lost kids, the heels came off and as you can see, it was ON!
( Fortunately non of those punches broke any nails.)
These two warriors were supposed to be monitoring playgrounds which they were very much looking forward to.. As a matter they told the neighborhood watch program ” We got this” and gave them all a break . These two did not get to touch the lives of small children as they had hoped ( in the ministry sense of course) all because of a tiff over nail polish,.
A Great day to really feel the confessions of todays…8 year olds.
Confession duty can be a tedious task as you might imagine. So each priest is asked what age group they prefer to hear confession from. Oh, look this one decided on…yep
I cannot emphasize enough just how much these priests need to be recognized-for what they do. I don’t think people really have any idea what goes on behind the scenes. All they see is the confessions and rituals but not the overtime put in.
The Godfather Of The Rape & Run Himself
But- the boss of the crew- the don…the man with a 40 year Groom & Doom and rape then good but stay out of jail pass- is who has really gotten away with a decades long predator career and all the while some think he is a priest!!
We finally may be seeing his rich and retired mug on the news because he went for that one last score Our Lady Of The Rosary in Lexington NC in 2010-2013 or so and he went for the jackpot. Juggling 6 boys in two years and through the usual threats and intimidation was able to keep them quiet – until recently…..stay tuned. Father Albert Gondek may be on the receiving end of his hobby if he ever meets Bubba in prison, But we all know that is unlikely, so lets see how the law and media handles it when he is proven guilty, again.
In a stunning announcement Saturday afternoon, CNN has released new evidence that they believe will have even the most conservative and Trump fan reeling for immediate resignation .
Talking about the president, In a quote from lead investigative reporter Ian Spinhad this to say, ” He brushed right through the Supercuts scandal , he froze up a bit on the Baskin Robbins scoop, but today I’m here to tell you Mr. Trump has lost his run of luck.”
Apparently a team of volunteer lefty celebrities agreed to go undercover in this investigation which supposedly will show that our president has a very sketchy bedroom secret that is supposedly sofar out that it’s not only immoral, but ILLEGAL! Questionable ethics and moral standards are mentioned. The Implication is that our president is not a good role model for the activities of a man who is supposed to be a God-fearing wholesome, morally upright American role model.
So far the only members of the investigative team demanding impeachment for Trump that have come forward are as follows-
Miley (AAA) anywhere, anyone, anytime Cyrus
– Cher ( is my son my daughter? ) Bono
The runner formerly known as Bruce ( do I use the men’s room during transition? ) Jenner
Mark ( are you over 12 sweetie)Weiner
Rosie ( my mouth runneth over) O’Donnell
Finally-an unidentified sales person ( female ) at an upscale DC Furniture store who has made an extraordinary claim that she personally has sat on the presidents bed. ( this is not confirmed by our sources) furthermore she claims to have physical evidence that will leave no doubt that what Trump did was immoral and illegal..we are awaiting an update any minute on just what this ” evidence” is and clearly understand that if even a shred of this story and where it is leading us is true, Donald Trump could find himself out of a job. Please stand by….
44 minutes later….
We thank you all for standing by. We have been privy to all of the details and are free to release them. The incident in question is legitimate. Donald Trump violated the law and we will see how stiff a penalty he will get. However the incident, was slightly misleading. After the objective news media was allowed to interview the key players, including the stock girl at the furniture store, we have found that the level of moral and ethical integrity has NOT been compromised.
In an unusual move- CNN not only ill-reported but exaggerated a story that they knew to be misleading. Who would have seen that coming ?
Under DC law, tearing off the label of a mattress is a crime. However, in a little known clause, if you have an allergy to makimup-nuuse (ancient greek chemical) an ingredient used in the making of mattress tags, you may actually tear the tag off.
So, good news for the President tonight although we here at DLMK News would caution the president that as much as we love him, his ” coloring outside the lines” lifestyle really is not conducive to the office of the President. Please exercise caution Mr. Trump.
That wraps it up for tonight , as always good news and good night.
I am amazed when I walk through Wal-Mart and see a mother dragging a crying 4-5 year old by the arm yelling
“ SHUT UP! DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR LITTLE ASS WHIPPED WHEN WE GET HOME”
Wrong on so many levels. But to keep this short , I will point out just a few reasons why this approach never works.
1- You cannot command a child to do something that you are currently reminding them you yourself are incapable of- like being quiet.
2-Its highly unlikely that ANY child (that can hear) is going to think ” hmm, I think I will pull it together now that I know I have an ass whippincoming when we leave, I’m pumped!”
3-If you want your child to incorporate any skill into their daily routine, YOU must first model it, consistently. The ” do as I say not as I do” rule is obsolete.
There are at least 100 valuable social skills that must be taught to any of us in life. About 25 are needed to function successfully as an adult. For a child ages 5-18 it varies by age, but 3-4 for the young child and 15 for the teen are necessary to get through school and relationships without much turmoil.
There is no “ skill genie” or ” skill angel” that comes in the night and teaches your child the skills. So they must learn them from someone else….yep thats right. but, if you choose not to teach them – don’t sweat it, they can always pick up little Johnny’s skill set at school, you know the one who always gets suspended and calls his 3rd grade teacher a slut.
If you want your home to run smoothly, there must be consistency and clear explanation of what is expected. I will take the top two most important social skills ( in my opinion ) that I have taught for 20 years, and break them down here so you can see how you should explain them to your child.
1- Following instructions
a- Look at the person
b- Say ok
c Check back when finished
2- Accepting No ( for an answer)
a- Look at the person
b- Say ok
As I mentioned, these are the top two out of the 100 I train on. You should have at least 15 skills you use to interact with your teen and 4-7 for young who cannot retain much more.
Remember, the trick is developing a motivation system in your home that is not some temporary fly by night bribe system just so you can get a quiet night and take a long bath. Every reward and consequence your child gets should be a decision your child has made because you have taken the time and effort to creat a system that needs no arguing or debating about. Its built into your family dynamic.
Lastly for this little sample, if you think your children don’t want boundaries set for them ( specific guidelines) you are wrong. Kids are desperate for boundries. As a matter of fact we adults are desperate for boundries. What would you feel like if you jumped on the freeway tomorrow to go to work, and there was a giant neon sign that said
” NEW RULES ” AS OF TODAY -THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMITS, NO RULES ON SAFE DRIVING OR ANY OTHER GUIDELINES AND NO MORE EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAMS”
How safe would you feel knowing that anyone could pull a NASCAR on you and draft you at 125 MPH- or trade some paint with you sending you and your vehicle rolling down the hill on the side of the road.
So of we grown ups need some guidlines, ow much more do our children need them.
( I am an award winning behavior specialist who has built hundreds of behavior programs to implement in homes of small familes who just want one system to implement so they can quit constant arguing all the time. I also have been hired to put behavorial sysytems in place in large companies to make their own staff get along better)
I was even hired to train all the doctors and staff of a hospital psyhiatric unit how to get along , proving that no matter who you are or how old you are there has to be consistency.
As a foster parent, I created and implented daily systems for very abused and defiant teens and was successful in all. About 50 teens.
If you are tired of unpredictable behavior and response in your family, I would love to help build a system to fit your needs. Once in place you simply maintain it and I will always be available to help with any break downs in the system. Or you can keep living like you are…
(Yeah, I Agree )- so my email is —-firstname.lastname@example.org me today to set up a personalized- DLMK! Care Plan for your family.
Mental Health. Looks like this pretty much , right? I took this picture 2 days ago. You know why? I assumed when I contacted the law to pick the body up they may want some documentation of when and where I found the guy. Not that its any big deal, I see these bums all day long here in Daytona. Heck You and me could have ended up like that if we didn’t make the right choices, right? Whatever. Who are we kidding. But for the grace of God, there goes me.
In this case I got to walk away feeling better then I initially thought. You see, when I realized he was stiff, and smelled bad I just instinctively went to see if he had any ID to give the law. I was quite shocked when he about jumped when my hand touched his jacket pocket. He was alive! Sort of. Mike, as I later learned was his name was so scared I came to hurt him that he was shaking, I sat down with him and told him it was all good and I help people like him. I am a social worker. I help all people. No matter the age, race, issues, addictions, etc.
I know you cant see all that well in this picture as far as his age and all, but after we had talked awhile he shared a little about his life. Take a guess as to his age? Just do it, ball park.
Mike is 51.
I was able to offer him some options that he never knew were there. I know because that is my gift. We all have gifts, and in my case I have the ability to identify what people need to make their situation the very best it can be. I have done it for my entire career as a clinical social worker. I have worked with teens, parents, mental health patients, addicted folks, poverty stricken, violent people, even the most seriously developmentally disabled people in the world, literally. I have been called on to improve the quality of life for those who are deaf, dumb, blind, and aggressive. Can you imagine? The people in that arena that I ran programs for were abused so badly as babies that even though many were born ” normal” they had some of the most evil parents and caregivers you could imagine. Tossed in dumpsters as babies left to die, left on the hot Florida beaches as infants simply because the mom or dad was too lazy to bring them to a fire station or another outlet who would gladly have taken them in.
I started a school for 60 felons, ages 11-18. Gang members, 12 year old kids running crack at 3am on school days for their own parents. I lived for 5 years with 45 teens who were sexually abused very severely. Every group of people I worked with I was so thankful to have a God given gift to see through the outside and meet the true need on the inside. Now, before anyone thinks I am bragging – it could not be further from the truth. I am so ” ungifted ” in some areas that men should be – lol- I remember a time when I had my young boys with me in my truck and I noticed my wipers were bad. I could not see through them. I stopped at the Auto Zone , ordered up 2 wipers in a manly voice…and spent the next 30 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out how to put the blades on until my 7 year old son took pity on me. He installed them in 5.
If you have followed me long you will note that although I share my personal struggles, and trials, I have never laid out an ” I love me post” about my accomplishments in my gifts. One reason is because I realize it is a gift. I can help anyone, in any situation, no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel comfortable bragging about something that I was given. Oh, believe me – I can hang with the best of the braggers. I have the degrees, the awards and all that jazz. I could not even tell you where any of them are right now. I don’t care. I care about educating people and helping them save time, money and stress.
What I love most about what I do is I know every single job duty all those people and more have. But I don’t have to become each one. I sure can steer you to who will actually help you and who wants your money. I can tell you that in many cases I have not been able to get to the parent or family in time before they got taken for a ride to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and more. That’s the reason I am so determined to hold providers of mental health, addictions, behavioral health, and juvenile delinquents accountable for what they do. I know what they should be doing – but you don’t. I am not a psychiatrist, but if you have ever read my home page ” mental heath- its a crazy business” you know I do not mince words. Why? I know the truth.. Do want to know how many doctors or psychologists, psychiatrists have written me nasty letters over the 4 years I have been slamming them? ZERO.
I am sharing this for a reason. I am hanging my shingle again. For 4 years I have poured my heart out on here about my entire life. Its time to help you all get to where you need and want to be. And I am asking you to trust your family or personal needs into my care. I make the same promise I have kept my entire career. I will NEVER leave you broken. An I will certainly never leave you broke. I don’t discharge my families when they go through a rough patch financially. I love using my gift. You may have noticed I have never taken a dime for any thing here, I do not sell ads like some. This audience that you all are was hand picked. I have never connected to the internet, other then this WordPress sight.
Last check this blog has had visitors from 65 countries ( that I know of ) and followers from at least 25 that I know of. That’s not my doing. It is no accident. You all are here for a reason. I am here to help.
When Mike Carey came along and was willing to join with this mission, I was and still am ecstatic. Why? Because Mike and I share a similar passion. We both love to use our gifts to help others. We both will never leave anyone hanging until they are well. I am gong to show you a real life example of how God has already used Mike in my own family. Most of you know I have 2 grown boys, and 2 baby girls. Well, babies to me, they are 5 & 10.
This is my baby Shelbi..
My baby had 72 sticks with a needle that her doctor insisted on to test for allergies. For nothing. Next up he said – blood work! No. No way.. But what can I do? Better late then never – I called our resident gifted man in the healing of diseases. He said ” you took her where” ? ( made me feel even lower lol) – No more he said , get her on the phone with me tonight for a minute or two. I was thinking to myself- Hello!! What was I thinking? Tonight Shelbi said hello to Mr. Mike for about 2 minutes, and 10 minutes later he says ” oh she has some poisoning in her system and a viral infection. Go to your local health food store and get 2 items ( like 5 bucks each) and in 7 days it will be gone.
HUH?? What? Why did I forget the other people I have sent to him who had major diseases go away? Anyways no blood work and that’s Mikes gift.
If you need physical healing – take advantage of this gift right in front f you . If its healing in any other area, call on me. I work on a case by case basis, until the job is done. I want you all to take this email address down.
Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – to help with Tj-
that is your direct line to me. I will be adding a toll free number as well but for now get me there. I will develop with you what I call a “Plan of Care ”
There is NO issue you can throw at me that I havent done a hundred times. Confidentially we will put it all in place and work it out financially It sure would make me feel good if you all would entrust your needs to Mike and I. I thank you in advance . .
With all we are trying to accomplish through this platform of Don’t Label My Kid! It would really make a big difference if you all would commit to utilizing the gifts that Mike and I have- for your own family. so that we can keep on helping others and continue trying to do what we do ..put pedophiles away -heal families -help addicts- bring families together and just grow spiritually , emotionally and physically.
My older son is 22 and a sharp shooter in the Army, full-time college student and full time worker. I am praying he never reads this, and am fairly confident he wont. He does not take much interest in my writing.. ( I know, I don’t get it either). For the purpose of this story I will call him ” stinky “. It takes place in a quiet southern town about 50 miles northwest of Orlando Fl. in about 1995. In a grocery store called Publix.
Stinky was 2 years old and riding on the kid part of the shopping cart, you know – the part where they just stare at you until something on the shelf catches their eye, they lunge for it, you swerve, they cry? Yeah that type deal. Well Stinky and I were at about the half way point of our shopping trip when I noticed a slight scent coming from the same vicinity that Stinky was sitting. At first I panicked of course but then as a new first time dad would do, I ignored it and reminded myself that I had out a ” pull up” on him right before we came in the store.
This was right when pull-ups had come out, and were a true Godsend, just in case. We went about another aisle down and I noticed the scent was getting stronger and I admit I began to worry a little. Not knowing what exactly to do in the middle of this giant store, I began to slow my roll and let the others pass me by while strategically heading to the diaper/wipes/paper towel isle. As I approached this isle, I happened to glance down at the newly waxed tiled floor of the grocery.
We got a problem.
I remember thinking to myself that I had not recalled seeing any little brown dots peppering the tiles before. I quickly grabbed the nearest bag of paper towels, ripped them open and leaned down, to wipe-the dots off the tiles around me. I remember going in reverse, and wiping up a few tiles behind us as well. It was then I realized that I had no idea this breadcrumb poop trail had been going on. I just remember ripping through the paper towels and making sure I grabbed ” Bounty ” the “quicker picker upper”. Within seconds I found myself going into a kneeling position, one hand on the cart ( pulling backwards) and one hand full of paper towels wiping poop drops as I went backwards dodging other shoppers and acting as if I was looking for my contact or something.
Within a minute I was zipping back at high rate of speed, weaving and bobbing between other shoppers. I was good. So good that within about 4 minutes and 2 rolls of Bounty, I had reached the end of the trail..finally. I wiped up the last splatter and casually made my way to the men’s room. You see, new parent or not, I am a smart cookie. I remembered to bring an emergency outfit and pull-up for such a time as this. I am not bragging here, but within 5 minutes my boy and I were calmly exiting the men’s room as if nothing had gone down..er, well you get it .
As I calmed down we shopped some more, and finally decided we had all we needed. I gave myself a little mental pat on the back for handling it as well as I did. We rolled up to the checkout counter and waited our turn. I think I was playing peek a boo or something as we waited. Heck I thought, nobody needs to know about this one. It was our little secret. So finally the line died down, and we pulled up and began unloading our groceries. The checkout girl was kind enough to help and we began to toss things on the belt. About 2 minutes into it, I noticed the girl making a funny face and she began to cough. Not the ” I have a cold ” cough, but a sickly and frowning face type of cough. Within a minute she began to let out a quiet but audible shriek and then said then she said these words ” What is that smell?”
I’m cool – I mean I cleaned it all up. I thought.
As it turns out, dad forgot to check one spot- the spot directly below the kid’s poop shoot in the cart. As it turns out I guess the girl happened to pullout a package of ground beef from directly below Stinky. The package had little brown droppings on it. Before I could get her attention, she was on the store loudspeaker begging for assistance on isle 4. It went something like ” clean up on isle 4 ” and by the time she had run her big mouth all over the speaker, a parade of bag boys, and a few managers had made their way up to see and smell what went on.
I remember a collective ” ooh gross ” from the customers in line behind me while scattering to another line, me begging to pay the bill, and stinky just smiling through it all. What started as a proud daddy and son shopping day, ended as a walk of shame to the parking lot in slow motion. A group of bag boys were sent to follow us and retrieve the cart so they could rinse and scrub it. I humbly put Stinky in his car seat and we drove off into the moon-light.
To this day I cannot eat raisinets or milk-duds. I know, I know its gross.
In the last 4 years I have written about many topics from parenting to depression, addiction to PTSD, medication, suicide, therapy and so much more. It seems like a lot but as I have always said, I don’t speak on anything that I haven’t lived through personally or at the very least studied professionally. In the beginning I thought writing about so many different types of issues would make it seem like life is filled with nothing but bad stuff. However I learned two important things in the last four years; I am not alone, and people need to hear from others who can relate.
So far I have mostly discussed all the different types of problems and medical mental health struggles and family issues that exist. And there’s plenty to discuss no doubt. . Up until now, I have not really delved into how we deal with these issues as we go through these dark trials. Its imperative that we have some way of staying grounded during these times we walk through the valley.
It’s very important that we have some sort of an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from reality when we feel so lost in such darkness, and with so few friends. As most of you have understood, if I shared my life experiences, some of these times are gone through very much alone and there are not many people around that can relate. Unless you really search. And most of the time we don’t feel like searching for anything when we’re barely able to wake up every day and get dressed. Having been through very traumatic times that caused depression, and nightmares and loneliness and sometimes the inability to function normally. I can understand the darkness that prevails if we allow it to.
There’s a few things in my life that I can honestly say, are the only reasons that I am here today, both physically and mentally spiritually and emotionally. I know that if it took those things to keep me saying then all of you also had to have some way that you’ve coped something that held you together. and some? To that you’ve used to make it to the point, we are able to even write about it today on a blog. The truth is professionally I’ve seen that it isn’t a very high percentage of us that are able to make it even this far- in fact we are a very blessed group of people to have come through what we have and able to share it with other people. Speaking of sharing it with other people that is a critical piece in healing. It isnt always about us -the spotlight can’t always be on us even in our dark times and the truth is some of the ways out of these dark times the very quickest are by reaching out to others and pulling them up with the knowledge we have.
Sometimes when you need a friend the most you got to go and be a friend to someone. . Sometimes when you need encouragement the most you need to go and encourage someone. And even sometimes when you need financial help, you need to reach out to someone who you know could use what little bit you have and help them.. The point is as tempting as it is when we are in these dark times, the worst thing we can do is send out invitations for a pity party. I have always found some good advice from a guy that sings a song full of truth abut these times. I would like to share this song with you and I’ve shared the one with lyrics so you can read along… Please take 3:38 minutes out and watch it…at the end of this post. It may just resonate with you somehow…( you may have to click on it to play it)
So as I kick off the on going series on how we have made it to the point we are, I would ask that you all share any advice that you have. I shared all the problems lol- now I need help with looking at many solutions. I am leaving this wide open, and welcome any guest posts on the topic. Like I said – the more you share the more therapeutic it is.
People are always talking about how addicts don’t seem to ” want ” get better or that they don’t try hard enough . We now recognize addiction as a disease and that’s progress.
However- the blame for the miserable 25% -40% (at best) success that some claim they have, goes right back to the providers. In this country is least when we go to an auto repair shop we expect them to know how to repair the auto, or we don’t keep taking it there. If we go to a lawn mower shop we want them to know how to repair our brand of lawn mower and wouldn’t accept anything less. Things in the area of human care and condition are quite different . There is no accountability for starters.
As you see in this LinkedIn document posted here, my featured image, one addictions “specialist” asks a question of other ” specialists” ..on how to handle a client.. that in itself is not typical or shouldn’t be but what really should be astonishing to all is the response..
The result is not one or two opinions but more than 80!
How comfortable would you feel if that patient was you or one of your loved ones that you we’re going to get effective care? That is unbelievable. How could we ever treat anybody effectively if we can’t even agree on how to treat addictions in general?
This is one of the reasons that Don’t Label My Kid! is advocating and implementing our own treatment models and services so that we can make sure treatment is actually successful and appropriate..
Another mind-blowing statistic is the failure rate of AA and NA organization, how it came to be and what a prosperous organization it is financially. In this link you can read of all about it.
What hope does the addict really have- knowing what we do?