” If anyone causes one of these little ones those who believe in me-to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”
Matthew 18:6- NIV
Not everyone is aware of the numbers on this, but almost every child / teen that is molested ends up depressed, addicted, hopeless or suicidal. If they do manage to survive the sick abuse that goes on in the Catholic church-they usually end up on the street running with gangs. It is rare that anyone survive this and live a decent life.
So perhaps Jesus is speaking of this when He said the words above. At any rate, I encourage you – if you have ANY part of getting your kids, or anyone’s to a catholic church-remember this statement from Jesus Christ.
There are currently around 30k priests in the USA under investigation for sexual crimes against minors. And listen to this- those are THEIR numbers so imagine what they may be in reality.
It just is not worth it. Get you kids away from these freaks who use God’s name to sodomize 5 year olds.
Just Say No.
By now everyone has heard of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Although a long time back it was a term reserved for the diagnosis of very severe patients who had been exposed to some extraordinary events. These days 6 years old get the diagnosis when a spanking they got has been labeled abuse and therefore they suffer from PTSD.
Today I watched a movie with Samuel Jackson and a few others that were all in combat together in Iraq. Unlike the war movies I have seen, this was one of the best mental health sides of the truth that I ever have seen. In this flick, it does not end when the 4 who were from the same area leave for home. It does not end until you see how each one chooses to handle their PTSD here at home, in the real world. If you are a coach or counselor of any type you need to watch this movie.
I think it will change even the most seasoned therapists, as this movie is so absolutely transparent in each of the people’s lives it brings life in you a whole new meaning to what PTSD is really all about.
Home Of The Brave
If have any trouble getting on through the first link, I have posted a second to Tubitv ( 100% free to watch it there)
Sometimes I like to incorporate humor into my posts to keep the site from just being about depression and addiction and PTSD etc… I just cannot be all too funny with this. This is a topic that is DEADLY. I remember, because my brothers suicide wont seem to get out of my mind some days. So I am going to ask everyone to stop and read this, and you know what it may not even apply to you. But it could prevent what happened with my family. I cannot undo the gunshot that ended my brothers life. But I can share my 20 years of experience in mental health and addictions, from a personal, and then a professional standpoint. I sure hope you will send this to anyone that seems like they may be one step away from tragedy. If it is you. I tell you what to do at the end. Anyhow, I hope you take this to heart. Anyone who follows me knows how much I love you all and just want to keep getting the word out that you cannot delay treatment for mental health without terrible consequences. But let me say this, there is some really good news on here about the success we are having worldwide in a new area to help….tj
Is Therapy Going To Drive Me To Suicide?
Most people in and around the mental health field as a client or provider are familiar with these two terms. The question is, what is the difference? Its a valid question that deserves an honest answer.
So your deciding how to address the situation your going through and the options. Whether it be a depression issue, a divorce issue or any other circumstance that has proved itself to be interfering in your routine to the point that you need at least some action. Lets face it, there are thousands of different providers who all claim to offer up the most successful, healing, lasting and least restrictive and intrusive on your life.
Where do you start? A friend’s recommendation? An ad that catches your eye or ear? The most well known methods? Its a tough call for anyone. It does not have to be. You see just as we have progressed in other industries like automobiles, and appliances and homes, the same applies when it is time for mental health choices. We don’t screw bolts into the sides of peoples heads anymore to see the effect. We don’t torture people hoping to alter behavior or feelings. Things have improved. Much progress has been made in these areas and you will do yourself a disservice by not following up on what is working and what is not.
Just because you are struggling with an issue in your life does not paralyze your ability to educate yourself. Of course you must be strong enough to make your own decisions and choices on treatment unless you are in need of inpatient care. This post is about outpatient care. If you follow along you just may see clearly some things that have been unclear until now. I have had extensive experience in both coaching and therapy, both as a client, and eventually as a professional for 20 years. To try and break down all the theories of personality and modalities of treatment would take an entire book. In my opinion it is not necessary.
Everyone has their opinion about what works best and many of the ideas have validity and can indeed help. However do you want to get 45% help when another method would bump that up to 85%? Of course not. Let me add that I have no dog in the hunt. Our team together has decades of experience in just about every major modality used in outpatient therapy. If you want to come lay on a couch each week while we remind each other how miserable your life has been, someone will take your money. But what about outcomes? After all the whole point of therapy is to get better and move on with your life, right?
What if medication is recommended? We all know that game right? Try this for 6 weeks, if it does not make you feel good we will change to the next, and the next and so on. You may be caught up in a weekly sit down regurgitating old dark memories for a year before any medications start working. That is , if they ever work, since even major drug makers have admitted that 5 or 6 of their latest anti-depressants actually cause suicidal thoughts.
OOPS! Yeah, it does happen and it is not uncommon.
But even so, therapy is just so much more ” professional ” sounding. It must be the best if its been around so long. I mean this coaching thing is fairly new. Why take chances on that when you can enjoy the benefits listed above of a therapeutic model?
Maybe because coaching works.
Lets take a closer look at this whole coaching model. The coaching models at least that I am familiar with takes the therapy model and turns it on its head. It rejects everything traditional long term therapy stands for.
Coaching focuses on what is right in your life. What you can do well. What strengths we have. A return to normalcy as soon as possible in the least restrictive environment is key. On the other hand have we all not at one time or another seen a post or article that begins with ” I have been seeing my therapist now for 5 years ” or ‘ My therapist says he thinks I need a higher dose of medication”. If you have not, you need not leave WordPress because they are everywhere.
Try finding one that says they have had their coach for more than a few months. It will be tough. The reason being is coaches create independence for you by emphasizing what you can do and have done well, whereas a typical therapy session will hover around how many failures or let downs occurred and how did you deal with them. If not monitored closely therapy can simply become something you must depend on and have or you will crack. It also can make for real strong job security for the provider. I am in no way saying that this is always the case, I am simply pointing out the facts.
Let me give you another example that may be easier to illustrate. AA & NA have been absolutely famous and known to be the savior for millions who swear they cant make it without it. There is good reason for that. Part of the mantra you must repeat and repeat and repeat until its drilled in your head is that you are powerless over your addiction. Sounds like pure healthy honesty right? We need to face the truth, right? The problem here folks is that most AA & NA programs have a tough time breaking into double digits as far as success in remaining sober for 12 months. Hmm. Sounds like AA & NA need the addicts more than the addicts need it.
Now I can already here people yelling at me reciting the serenity prayer and how the program has kept you clean for 5 years. If that is true, good for you and stick with it. The problem is we have this other 90% who fail and fail and fail. This group is just as important as the 10% who are doing well. right? The program or therapeutic modality cannot replace the addiction. Trading one addiction for another is , well not the goal.
Lets quickly review. Coaching is a process where someone trained in the area your needing comes along side of you and helps you identify your strengths, address any negative patterns that are interfering with your life and resets your thinking and goals to align with your abilities. This process in general is a much shorter and effective one that rarely disturbs your daily routine and acts more as a cheerleader to help you up and out of a rut then a tape recorder that plays your most hideous memories over and over until one week you think you have it beat- but then at your therapy session your forced to drag it back out of the dark corner of your head.
Coaching is not becoming dependent in any way on someone else. Therapy can lead to a total dependency on a person to survive, and even worse create a stigma that you are lesser of a person because you cannot live life normally or without the handicap of a label, diagnoses, or medication.
Am I saying that therapy is a waste and coaching is the only way to get help? Of course not. What I absolutely am saying is that one better be educated on their true need lest they become involved in a very dependent situation that may strip you of self esteem when that method is not needed. I have been a therapist. I have been a coach which is what I am more involved in then formal therapy. There will always be times when someone is in need of long term clinical therapy. What I have learned however is that everyone deserves the chance to be helped up and out of a rut through short term coaching before the much more restrictive clinical environment.
Besides the the stigma, the dependency, and the long term visits in the therapy model, you also need to understand that the difference financially between the two are radical and you are talking tens of thousands of dollars for any long term clinical therapy and that is besides medications. Why would you put yourself or anyone you love in that box before you give them a chance to be coached back to health? So far I have given you my personal and career experience, but in case your wondering, the established and very well run coaching programs that are in existence now are running circles around any treatment centers for addictions and over 20 other issues from domestic violence to PTSD. As a matter of fact many insurance companies wont even pay for therapy anymore. That is right, they pulled out and are happy to pour their efforts into legit coaching programs. Why would they, when the success rates on coaching is 75% and up and traditional treatment centers around 20%? Not to mention coaching is 1/3 the cost if not more to you and to insurers.
I want to close with a very important point. This article is designed to offer new options and hope to those who may not be familiar with coaching model. Any good therapist or doctor will tell you the truth about whether long term expensive therapy is needed or if coaching is what will work best for the client. I wont lie to you, just like any industry, not every provider is truthful and many will keep you or your child locked up and medicated as long as the payer will pay. Authorities are trying to crack down on those who use clients for personal gain but with tens of thousands of programs, it is very hard.
Take a few minutes and enjoy a laugh. The Old School Psychiatrists Were Just a little more upfront and honest with their patients then in today’s world- Would it not be nice if all Doctors were this up front! Today she would likely here ” Maam, you have OCD, your in denial, you are paranoid and I think these 3 prescriptions may help….We can all learn a thing or two from this Bob Newhart clip…
I have worked with and still do some of the finest clinical therapists around and they are excellent. Doctors as well and in no way am I saying nobody needs clinical therapy. What I am doing here is giving you all a little heads up about what is coming down the pipe. Coaching has proven itself, its cost effective, and is the latest and greatest alternative to what we had to live with. You will hear about it if you have not. All the Don’t Label My Kid! Team members are coaches and you can check out our areas of expertise on the home page menu. Read a quick bio of what we each do and reach out to us if you think you need help. We always work with people and have yet to turn anyone away.
This is a post I would not have written even two years ago. However the coaching success, and opportunities for those who have been coached to actually become working coaches after they find success makes this a win win for anyone and everyone. Don’t put it off anymore. No matter what the age, race, background, or need- believe me we have been there and done it. Just look at our bios and you will understand. If you are doing great, and your kids are doing great. but you have this friend from church, neighbor, or relative that is hurting- be the one to help them get help. You never know what people may be just one more step away from and the tragedy of ignoring it can do.
When my brother shot himself after we just watched some television together, I sure wish I would have asked him why he was so quiet for 2 hours. But, I did not. Instead he walked out the door and shot himself in the head. Don’t let that happen to anyone you know. Contact us immediately for prompt response.
Write these contacts down. Print this out. Share with a friend. Share with your followers. We cannot help unless you get in touch. At the bottom is a personal cell number that is available to call 24/7- 365. If you are in trouble now, or know who is , you may call it anytime.
Otherwise for a consult about a family plan, or individual need and 100% confidential, email one of these – leave a contact number in the subject if you wish to be called back
email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
Emergency Crisis Line- 386-675-7549
“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
Well, here we are. We have discussed practically every issue in life on this blog in the last four years or so. We have laughed, debated, discussed, prayed and I think I even had a legitimate stalker . The very first mission of this and I hope any blog is to teach. To educate your readers on what it is your here for and especially the question ” what can you do for me”. Today I am going to do a part of my job that is not uncommon in my 20 years as a Social Worker. I am going to press you a little bit. Force you to quit sidestepping and avoiding your needs and issues.
Now don’t think of this as anything negative. Its just the natural progression of things. In my career I would have people make appointments come to the office for some need in the areas of mental health, behavioral health or addictions primarily. There are always exceptions but those were the most popular reasons they would make an appointment to see me.
Almost always on the very first visit I would introduce myself and ask them to tell me about why they were here. I cannot tell you how many stare-offs I had, lol. I would say ” you called me so tell me what I can help you with. ” I never figured out if it was people getting intimidated when they are in a setting they are not used to or what , but so many people forget or froze up. I would usually give them some examples of why people came to see me and gradually somewhere in the list I would here a ” yeah that” or something to help me know where to start probing or asking questions. We always got moving at some point. Some in just a few minutes and some it took a little longer.
On this blog Don’t Label My Kid! I decided to start the educating on my homepage with mental health. I allude to the other areas I am an expert in but that is where I decided to begin, because all our other problems somehow are related to mental health. I then proceeded over the next 3-4 years to make sure I wrote at least 100 articles related to each area I serve. I am not talking about specialty areas like parenting that I also assist and do workshops in, but the main primary areas; Mental, behavior and addictions.
Over 500 total articles on these areas. This is to find out where my reader’s needs are and to get feedback from you as well on any area . As you all well know I always mix in some humor, politics or other issues at random just to keep things from getting to dark and gloomy on here. (Some who pop in at the wrong time think this site is just a random topic site as my last 4 quick posts might have been about humor. lol) Even though I post about a wide variety of topics , they are topics related to life. We are all in that game together.
Now, in this time I have enjoyed a good amount of feedback, comments and gotten a ton from you all about your situations now, past of something you wonder about. I have read and still go over thousands of comments from you all. I have not read anything I have not helped someone with many times over ( except maybe the stalker) .
I have heard from the suicidal, the addicts, the parents who are ready to strangle their kids, the people of faith who ask me how I can still believe in God, then the burned out Christians. I have also gotten messages from people suffering with PTSD, abused wives, and people who have had experiences with sexual abuse. This has been especially popular since I have been writing about Father Gondek . People are much more likely to share if they are not alone. My point is, you are here for a reason. I can assure you God did not lead you here to get more depressed or addicted. He did not bring me here to write about your struggles so you can leave the house every day with fresh depression. We are here for a change. It’s what I call a divine appointment.
The stage we are at now, is called Execution.
Execution is where action takes place. It is where you quit playing around with your problem. You quit lust ” liking ” every post about your topic, you take the next step in your journey. It is the favorite part of work life, as I get to use my gifts and help people in general solve problems. How though? What do you do – even if you wanted to take the next step to help? Well, there are three possible answers.
You are getting your first assignment in moving forward with your issues. You should write this date down on your calendar as the day you ” executed “-
Before you can execute you have to select one of the following scenarios that best fits you
1- I have never reached out for help
2-I have reached out but no progress ( gave up )
3-You are currently trying things but have not got anywhere or don’t know if your counsel is right, or the money you would spend is worth it.
Now, I want you to select the one that describes you best. Usually one of those is it. If not no problem we can identify it. So make your selection. Great.
Now – as a consultant I take on three roles, depending on which of the above fits you.
If you are #-
#1-I am your ADVISOR– I will start by accessing your need, identify the best care plan and follow you through the process as needed.
#2-I am your INTERVENTIONIST-I help you resume your attempts by picking up the pieces of whatever you did gain or learn, and reconnecting , but with the appropriate services.
#3- I am your COACH- I act as support to what you think you may want to try, and am someone to stand along side of you as you navigate the process and coach you as is necessary to keep you on he right track.
Your 2nd assignment today is to figure out whether I am your Advisor,your interventionist, or your coach. So, which one?
Here is the moment of truth. You pick up the phone or email me to identify what you are in need of. I have broken it down so you can easily identify your needs from me.
(Although I am very good, I have yet learned to read minds of my followers.)
Touch base to get a Plan Of Care started now!
Cell- Txt- Call- 386-675-7549
*Now a few important things have when you contact me
1- if it involves a child, any and all IEP or special class information from school. Also any mental health official diagnoses or medications they are on or have ever been on. I don’t need copies but I need you to accurately tell me the report. If you are needing help for yourself I just need your past and current mental health diagnises
2- If you are an addict or have a loved one is and you need help – DO NOT GET ANY HELP UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME . PERIOD. Many organizations today get paid to fill beds- not make it a good fit for the client. Also if you walk into a rehab with no knowledge of the process and what you really need, you or your friend’s success rate is about 24%
Again- Any addicts reading or if you are trying to help one get help. CALL ME first. It is critical that you have an understanding of what rehab REALLY means. It’s not what you think.
Tj Petri BSW
Advisor, Interventionist, Coach
Don’t Label My Kid!
Some footage of the fellas hanging out on some downtime in the Catholic diocese in Charlotte North Carolina….I hear every night at 6 is nail painting pajama party..rumor has it those rascals like to jump on the beds and have a pillow fight – followed by a dog pile…oh boys will be boys..
They are always looking to serve, even on days off. It’s as if they can’t get enough of just loving on people-especially those little guys..
Some volunteer at the mall as a big furry animal, some are out on skate patrol checking all the local playgrounds to make sure the children have someone watching them….
The guys are willing to do whatever it takes – even potty training and changing duty at the local mall just to give the parents a few minutes to shop alone.When asked if they ever get tired of serving the response from all were amazing. The skating priest really summed it all up – ” Tired of it? This is what keeps us going! As a matter of fact I think I speak for all my fellow priests when I say that a good 75% of us are here just for the kids!”
Ooh! I think I see Bugs Bunny at the mall on potty duty today! It’s a dirty, dirty job. Very few people could even think about doing that!
The Throw Down !
Like A Junkyard brawl- these two were the winners at the Bishops weekly drawing and got the coveted Playground Patrol- but instead of a feel good day identifying lost kids, the heels came off and as you can see, it was ON!
( Fortunately non of those punches broke any nails.)
These two warriors were supposed to be monitoring playgrounds which they were very much looking forward to.. As a matter they told the neighborhood watch program ” We got this” and gave them all a break . These two did not get to touch the lives of small children as they had hoped ( in the ministry sense of course) all because of a tiff over nail polish,.
A Great day to really feel the confessions of todays…8 year olds.
Confession duty can be a tedious task as you might imagine. So each priest is asked what age group they prefer to hear confession from. Oh, look this one decided on…yep
I cannot emphasize enough just how much these priests need to be recognized-for what they do. I don’t think people really have any idea what goes on behind the scenes. All they see is the confessions and rituals but not the overtime put in.
The Godfather Of The Rape & Run Himself
But- the boss of the crew- the don…the man with a 40 year Groom & Doom and rape then good but stay out of jail pass- is who has really gotten away with a decades long predator career and all the while some think he is a priest!!
We finally may be seeing his rich and retired mug on the news because he went for that one last score Our Lady Of The Rosary in Lexington NC in 2010-2013 or so and he went for the jackpot. Juggling 6 boys in two years and through the usual threats and intimidation was able to keep them quiet – until recently…..stay tuned. Father Albert Gondek may be on the receiving end of his hobby if he ever meets Bubba in prison, But we all know that is unlikely, so lets see how the law and media handles it when he is proven guilty, again.
Castration an option?
Nowhere to run now. Nowhere to hide.
The Proud Papa-Accused of around 20 molestations in the last 20 years-Never a consequence -Now living large on an early paid retiremnt for his efforts…wow.
I wonder If He knows that there actually is a God and he will actually have to face him? How could he believe in God? Seriously..
Well I was hoping the media would be the ones to break this ugly news, but everyone’s time is now up. I wont sit back and be quiet when I know the sickening things that you all do before and after “confession” and whenever else you are busy chasing altar boys around in the back somewhere. So time is all I got and since the law over your way isn’t interested yet, I thought maybe some thorough details would be in order.
Hmm. Where shall I start? Its 2015, I get information that the very same ” Father” that molested my very own brother back in 1991 or so was at it again even all these years . Father Albert Gondek– in my brothers case used the textbook groom and doom scenario on Danny in high school…build trust, establish his ” daddy figure role in my brother’s life, and take advantage of him time after time, all the while keeping that steady dose of catholic guilt and intimidation in place.
The coldest part to me is that after my bro put a bullet in his head rather than live with these memories, the good father acted like it was another day at the office.. Well in all honesty – it was. He was shuffled out-of-state not to long after to start at another playground…In North Carolina. I had no idea where he was. That is until 2015 when I got the call that he was very busy chasing not 1, not 2 but 6 or 7 young men around church property…and welcomed them all into his own home…often. The poor boy who spoke up , well he didn’t have a chance against the largest pedophile ring in the world, Vatican city to North Carolina and a whole bunch in-between.
Yep it was only 2 short weeks after he opened his mouth about how Gondek had been molesting him, and 6 others for 2 whole years– he got his due penalty. Deportation to Mexico. Yeah his whole family was here and still is in NC, but hey you all heard the pope himself say – ZERO TOLERANCE– and he his word.
Oh, I am sorry some of you thought the ZERO tolerance was for any priest who molested children. No, that’s not quite what he meant.. it’s for the brat that talks, there is a ZERO tolerance.
As a matter of fact if you google -2015 Father Gondek- Our Lady of the rosary Catholic church in Lexington North Carolina, You should see the statement by umm, what is the guys name, head of NC diocese ..David Harold– just came to me. He did make a brief statement to the public acknowledging that an investigation would be conducted because ” Some incarcerated man-made an allegation! OOPS Mr Harold, you did forget to mention that it was y’all who incarcerated him, in the deportation holding center… I am sure it slipped his mind.
Well, now the poor guy is gone to fend for himself in Mexico away from his entire family. But you know in my walk of faith in my own life I have realized God has a way of showing up a the strangest times. The whole time the pedo-priest crew and Gondek were counting the hours down before the boy was one wheel up on a runway, God sent a total stranger to volunteer in that facility the night before he left.
Turns out, while they were celebrating the evidence being gone, the boy was carefully dictating a very comprehensive statement about his last 2 years …with the others who Gondek preyed on.. wow, what are the odds? I mean times, dates, names, every act and threat and disgusting thing he witnessed was now in writing to a total stranger!
Weird huh? Wait it gets more weird… turns out that there was only one copy of the 4 typed page statement with oh so many crimes and unspeakable acts. The volunteer had it. How do I know that? Oh simple, I am glancing down at it right now on my table. Yep. Just came in my mail one day again from a place where I knew nobody, and nobody knew me. Amazing . How did I get to play a small part in avenging my brothers death when I had no clue where the guy even was, much less who he was raping these days.
But its true! Sure as I sit here it is true. More evidence and plenty of witnesses, even more than they could deport..no to mention some of the predators were still working in that church and still are right now. I just never thought until now to tell anyone in the church about the little extra info I had stumbled on. Just never crossed my mind. But I bet it is crossing theirs right about now I was kind enough to shoot him and the fellas an email today letting him know about what I would be sharing…
Hey Mr. Harold! If your reading this, well, surprise! You are in the story too! Awesome.
It’s so weird to know that other than a few trusted members of the media, I am the only one holding the victim statement from a young man who was molested by the same priest as my brother. Wow.
Well there is no way to do this in just one post, and I want to give time for anyone who reads it to sink in…plus whats cool is this site had visitors from around 60 countries last count! 60 countries to hear and read every detail of the biggest known pedo-priest ring that is now known to actually be SUPPORTED form within the church….wow.
So I am ending this simple intro with a brief outline of how I am releasing details, Each day I will take a day documented in the statement and walk us through what it was like for them. That there makes for hard-hitting reading. Now – of course I can’t name names. Of the victims that is. As far as Gondek performing sex acts on the fathers of his victims, I cannot release names otherwise the drug buyers and alcohol buyers and all may be tied to the victims. I can tell you all this Gondek was not serving up holy communion while he gave out nightly naked messages to the boys.
OOPS I am dong it again letting info slip out. I will quit for today…but please y’all I encourage you to invite everyone you know to follow this and just for kicks if anyone out there is law or media-pull up a seat!’
Mental Health. Looks like this pretty much , right? I took this picture 2 days ago. You know why? I assumed when I contacted the law to pick the body up they may want some documentation of when and where I found the guy. Not that its any big deal, I see these bums all day long here in Daytona. Heck You and me could have ended up like that if we didn’t make the right choices, right? Whatever. Who are we kidding. But for the grace of God, there goes me.
In this case I got to walk away feeling better then I initially thought. You see, when I realized he was stiff, and smelled bad I just instinctively went to see if he had any ID to give the law. I was quite shocked when he about jumped when my hand touched his jacket pocket. He was alive! Sort of. Mike, as I later learned was his name was so scared I came to hurt him that he was shaking, I sat down with him and told him it was all good and I help people like him. I am a social worker. I help all people. No matter the age, race, issues, addictions, etc.
I know you cant see all that well in this picture as far as his age and all, but after we had talked awhile he shared a little about his life. Take a guess as to his age? Just do it, ball park.
Mike is 51.
I was able to offer him some options that he never knew were there. I know because that is my gift. We all have gifts, and in my case I have the ability to identify what people need to make their situation the very best it can be. I have done it for my entire career as a clinical social worker. I have worked with teens, parents, mental health patients, addicted folks, poverty stricken, violent people, even the most seriously developmentally disabled people in the world, literally. I have been called on to improve the quality of life for those who are deaf, dumb, blind, and aggressive. Can you imagine? The people in that arena that I ran programs for were abused so badly as babies that even though many were born ” normal” they had some of the most evil parents and caregivers you could imagine. Tossed in dumpsters as babies left to die, left on the hot Florida beaches as infants simply because the mom or dad was too lazy to bring them to a fire station or another outlet who would gladly have taken them in.
I started a school for 60 felons, ages 11-18. Gang members, 12 year old kids running crack at 3am on school days for their own parents. I lived for 5 years with 45 teens who were sexually abused very severely. Every group of people I worked with I was so thankful to have a God given gift to see through the outside and meet the true need on the inside. Now, before anyone thinks I am bragging – it could not be further from the truth. I am so ” ungifted ” in some areas that men should be – lol- I remember a time when I had my young boys with me in my truck and I noticed my wipers were bad. I could not see through them. I stopped at the Auto Zone , ordered up 2 wipers in a manly voice…and spent the next 30 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out how to put the blades on until my 7 year old son took pity on me. He installed them in 5.
If you have followed me long you will note that although I share my personal struggles, and trials, I have never laid out an ” I love me post” about my accomplishments in my gifts. One reason is because I realize it is a gift. I can help anyone, in any situation, no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel comfortable bragging about something that I was given. Oh, believe me – I can hang with the best of the braggers. I have the degrees, the awards and all that jazz. I could not even tell you where any of them are right now. I don’t care. I care about educating people and helping them save time, money and stress.
What I love most about what I do is I know every single job duty all those people and more have. But I don’t have to become each one. I sure can steer you to who will actually help you and who wants your money. I can tell you that in many cases I have not been able to get to the parent or family in time before they got taken for a ride to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and more. That’s the reason I am so determined to hold providers of mental health, addictions, behavioral health, and juvenile delinquents accountable for what they do. I know what they should be doing – but you don’t. I am not a psychiatrist, but if you have ever read my home page ” mental heath- its a crazy business” you know I do not mince words. Why? I know the truth.. Do want to know how many doctors or psychologists, psychiatrists have written me nasty letters over the 4 years I have been slamming them? ZERO.
I am sharing this for a reason. I am hanging my shingle again. For 4 years I have poured my heart out on here about my entire life. Its time to help you all get to where you need and want to be. And I am asking you to trust your family or personal needs into my care. I make the same promise I have kept my entire career. I will NEVER leave you broken. An I will certainly never leave you broke. I don’t discharge my families when they go through a rough patch financially. I love using my gift. You may have noticed I have never taken a dime for any thing here, I do not sell ads like some. This audience that you all are was hand picked. I have never connected to the internet, other then this WordPress sight.
Last check this blog has had visitors from 65 countries ( that I know of ) and followers from at least 25 that I know of. That’s not my doing. It is no accident. You all are here for a reason. I am here to help.
When Mike Carey came along and was willing to join with this mission, I was and still am ecstatic. Why? Because Mike and I share a similar passion. We both love to use our gifts to help others. We both will never leave anyone hanging until they are well. I am gong to show you a real life example of how God has already used Mike in my own family. Most of you know I have 2 grown boys, and 2 baby girls. Well, babies to me, they are 5 & 10.
This is my baby Shelbi..
My baby had 72 sticks with a needle that her doctor insisted on to test for allergies. For nothing. Next up he said – blood work! No. No way.. But what can I do? Better late then never – I called our resident gifted man in the healing of diseases. He said ” you took her where” ? ( made me feel even lower lol) – No more he said , get her on the phone with me tonight for a minute or two. I was thinking to myself- Hello!! What was I thinking? Tonight Shelbi said hello to Mr. Mike for about 2 minutes, and 10 minutes later he says ” oh she has some poisoning in her system and a viral infection. Go to your local health food store and get 2 items ( like 5 bucks each) and in 7 days it will be gone.
HUH?? What? Why did I forget the other people I have sent to him who had major diseases go away? Anyways no blood work and that’s Mikes gift.
If you need physical healing – take advantage of this gift right in front f you . If its healing in any other area, call on me. I work on a case by case basis, until the job is done. I want you all to take this email address down.
Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – to help with Tj-
that is your direct line to me. I will be adding a toll free number as well but for now get me there. I will develop with you what I call a “Plan of Care ”
There is NO issue you can throw at me that I havent done a hundred times. Confidentially we will put it all in place and work it out financially It sure would make me feel good if you all would entrust your needs to Mike and I. I thank you in advance . .
With all we are trying to accomplish through this platform of Don’t Label My Kid! It would really make a big difference if you all would commit to utilizing the gifts that Mike and I have- for your own family. so that we can keep on helping others and continue trying to do what we do ..put pedophiles away -heal families -help addicts- bring families together and just grow spiritually , emotionally and physically.
God Bless you all . Please Step up for this..
In the last 4 years I have written about many topics from parenting to depression, addiction to PTSD, medication, suicide, therapy and so much more. It seems like a lot but as I have always said, I don’t speak on anything that I haven’t lived through personally or at the very least studied professionally. In the beginning I thought writing about so many different types of issues would make it seem like life is filled with nothing but bad stuff. However I learned two important things in the last four years; I am not alone, and people need to hear from others who can relate.
So far I have mostly discussed all the different types of problems and medical mental health struggles and family issues that exist. And there’s plenty to discuss no doubt. . Up until now, I have not really delved into how we deal with these issues as we go through these dark trials. Its imperative that we have some way of staying grounded during these times we walk through the valley.
It’s very important that we have some sort of an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from reality when we feel so lost in such darkness, and with so few friends. As most of you have understood, if I shared my life experiences, some of these times are gone through very much alone and there are not many people around that can relate. Unless you really search. And most of the time we don’t feel like searching for anything when we’re barely able to wake up every day and get dressed. Having been through very traumatic times that caused depression, and nightmares and loneliness and sometimes the inability to function normally. I can understand the darkness that prevails if we allow it to.
There’s a few things in my life that I can honestly say, are the only reasons that I am here today, both physically and mentally spiritually and emotionally. I know that if it took those things to keep me saying then all of you also had to have some way that you’ve coped something that held you together. and some? To that you’ve used to make it to the point, we are able to even write about it today on a blog. The truth is professionally I’ve seen that it isn’t a very high percentage of us that are able to make it even this far- in fact we are a very blessed group of people to have come through what we have and able to share it with other people. Speaking of sharing it with other people that is a critical piece in healing. It isnt always about us -the spotlight can’t always be on us even in our dark times and the truth is some of the ways out of these dark times the very quickest are by reaching out to others and pulling them up with the knowledge we have.
Sometimes when you need a friend the most you got to go and be a friend to someone. . Sometimes when you need encouragement the most you need to go and encourage someone. And even sometimes when you need financial help, you need to reach out to someone who you know could use what little bit you have and help them.. The point is as tempting as it is when we are in these dark times, the worst thing we can do is send out invitations for a pity party. I have always found some good advice from a guy that sings a song full of truth abut these times. I would like to share this song with you and I’ve shared the one with lyrics so you can read along… Please take 3:38 minutes out and watch it…at the end of this post. It may just resonate with you somehow…( you may have to click on it to play it)
So as I kick off the on going series on how we have made it to the point we are, I would ask that you all share any advice that you have. I shared all the problems lol- now I need help with looking at many solutions. I am leaving this wide open, and welcome any guest posts on the topic. Like I said – the more you share the more therapeutic it is.
So lets see where this goes y’all
This is what I’ve been preaching all along since day one but it’s sure nice to have somebody like Mike Carey share something like this with us.
Most medical studies deemed bogus! Even Dangerous!
Courtesy of big Pharmaceutical. Even if you don’t want to hear this you really should read it- it’s a life-or-death issue.
People are always talking about how addicts don’t seem to ” want ” get better or that they don’t try hard enough . We now recognize addiction as a disease and that’s progress.
However- the blame for the miserable 25% -40% (at best) success that some claim they have, goes right back to the providers. In this country is least when we go to an auto repair shop we expect them to know how to repair the auto, or we don’t keep taking it there. If we go to a lawn mower shop we want them to know how to repair our brand of lawn mower and wouldn’t accept anything less. Things in the area of human care and condition are quite different . There is no accountability for starters.
As you see in this LinkedIn document posted here, my featured image, one addictions “specialist” asks a question of other ” specialists” ..on how to handle a client.. that in itself is not typical or shouldn’t be but what really should be astonishing to all is the response..
The result is not one or two opinions but more than 80!
How comfortable would you feel if that patient was you or one of your loved ones that you we’re going to get effective care? That is unbelievable. How could we ever treat anybody effectively if we can’t even agree on how to treat addictions in general?
This is one of the reasons that Don’t Label My Kid! is advocating and implementing our own treatment models and services so that we can make sure treatment is actually successful and appropriate..
Another mind-blowing statistic is the failure rate of AA and NA organization, how it came to be and what a prosperous organization it is financially. In this link you can read of all about it.
What hope does the addict really have- knowing what we do?
We are striving to be that hope!
Take a few minutes and listen to what is happening at DLMK!
You may have to load this first then open back up to play..
**This information is intended for the recipient and nobody else. Please lets keep this in house.. Greetings , You all are in for some very exciting news! If you have received this invitation you are a part of a special group of people. You are special to us in that you are followers of Mike […]
Above and below are 2 different ways to hear Tj give his personal greeting and update. In order to hear it you may have to load the open. If neither will work for you just skip it I will be doing these regularly.
**This information is intended for the recipient and nobody else. Please lets keep this in-house..
Mike Carey alternative Solutions 4 Health & Tj from Dont Label My KId!
I made a quick audio update ( both links above, but had a few problems on one of the times I tried to open, you may have to download first but if its more than a few minutes just let it go, as it is jut an update and I will be dong these from time to time…tj
You all are in for some very exciting news! If you have received this invitation you are a part of a special group of people. You are special to us in that you are followers of Mike Carey – Alternative Solutions 4 Health, or TJ -(Dont Label My KId) and Mike have teamed up! That’s right we are joining forces to reach some goals and accomplish some things that have never been done before. We want you all along with us. Much is happening in the way of change and we have some exciting things in the works.
We want the people who have been supportive of us to get some too.
(Notes- It has come to our attention that a fairly large group of bloggers were included in this private invitation who may or may not be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! Or Mike Carey .)
(After checking into it we found that you all actually are considered by WordPress to be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! via what I call the ‘ “undercover follower” method lol which I actually learned is an option that I was unaware of. The other possibility is you register so much on the site you are considered followers.
Either way you are blood.
Just come on home – make it official-go click follow on this site. You do have to do that to take part so if you could make sure you all are ” legal” by like tomorrow we can stop the confusion…..And now we return to our regular programming. .)
With Mike’s incredible knowledge and gifts in areas of health and the mission of DLMK to serve a huge group of people worldwide who are desperate for help in the areas of mental, behavioral health and addictions it seemed a match made in heaven to team up and meet the needs of the total person in ways that have never been done. AS4H and DLMK have one thing in common.
Success rates that are at least double or more of many of the options available. That is not to say there are not very talented people working in our areas because there is. We have a unique chance to make sure that all components that a person may need in treatment, we can help with and using the same team, same model and same philosophy. Not all have that advantage.
Beliefs in how and who in treatment are absolutely identical. Both are believers in getting to the root issue; both believe in as natural of a healing as is possible; both are committed to a return to normalcy asap. Sadly the country we live in supports financially those who keep people sick. It pays very well.
The goals of physical treatment centers and other care is already in the works. As matter of fact we will be talking with a major insurer in Florida about helping fund treatment centers! At this moment right now we have a goal to get services out to the world through virtual means. Mike can do what he does and the whole team can each help in reaching out to the world. However one thing holds us back.
It is very expensive technical work to build a portal as we will using the Don’t Label My Kid! site as a platform. The site today has followers from 60 countries. The cost to make this happen is huge but not as a team. You are part of our team. It’s not a one-sided team and that’s why nobody else but our followers got invitations. As we succeed, you succeed. Why pay an outside investor a ton of money to help us when we can work together and meet all of our needs?
With that said – in order to reach who we need to reach we will need help. So we are asking that you take a hard look at what is in front of you right now and consider getting involved to the extent that are able. We think no matter what level you are supporting us he return will far outweigh any monthly investment. When we need to add some service providers to our database who do you think we will utilize?
That’s right – you.
In closing I will give a quick example or two. The placement of your blogs name on a separate page on the website goes to anyone at any level. Think about this. How much would it cost for a newspaper as or magazine/radio ads -100? More ? Even then you must hope and pray that people hear or see your ad at the very time they need your service.
Our followers are made up of people like you same demographic. That’s gold. The potential reach for your name in a day could be 500k- you see DLMK has followers that have 100k each! So it’s a great deal. Please jump in, Today is the kick-off let’s do it up!
Here is our Commitment to You –
**For those come on board now, we will do something to show you our appreciation. We provide care for the total person here . We make sure that whether it’s a general doctor, a psychologist, an addictions specialist or any other type of care, that we have the best of the best.
So, to those who become any level as a founding member -we have you covered for any crisis needs in your immediate family. Free.
The 3 subscriptions are below are simply select what is best and sign up…
(We do have a few limited partnerships available. These are NOT for the average blogger or small business owner . The investment and commitment are much greater and suited for large set ups. People looking make some high level career advances with other projects we are working on and things like that. They are listed after the 3 below.)
***THIS JUST IN- PLEASE READ*****Mike Carey and I just spoke Today is 4/29/2107 at 10:40pm Eastern Time.
Mike has told me to take away the hours of consulting that go with the package if you are a Founders Club Member…Instead, when you become an active member now AT ANY LEVEL– He said PUT NO LIMIT ON IT!!! This means by subscribing you are on Mike’s List Of Clients and you NEVER have to pay for his service..
He also said as a small token of his appreciation to those who are serving, or have served in the military Everything ( all of his services) are on the house and the same goes for those in Christian Pastoral ministry or retired from it.
Finally, if you want to become a member but cannot afford 25.00$ / Month we will offer scholarships if you can provide proof
. We also exchange services for memberships-if you have a skill we can use, or a product we can use..
Thanks in advance for trusting us and becoming Founding Club Members !
Don’t Label My Kid! & Alternative Solutions 4 Health Founders club
~ Status Options~
25.00- Official Member
1-Your Blog Featured on separate page with founders only
2-Access to private database of services
*** Note – If you are wanting to bump up to GOLD but cannot afford it? Bring us 5 new members at any level and you got it .
(They must become followers of either Mike, Tj or both to be eligible.)
50.00- GOLD Member
1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only
2-Access to private database of services
3- Founders Group Member Tag for your Homepage
4- A free hour per month of consultation with any of team! phone Email
NOTE! Want to become a Platinum member without the extra 50 bucks? No problem, bring us 5 Gold members!
1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only
2-Access to private database of services
3-Founders Group PLATINUM Member Tag for your homepage
4-1 Guest post on the DLMK site per quarter to share your blog’s mission or post a blog of your choice (these will be highlighted and recognized as a Guest Post From Founding Member-available only to Platinum members)
5- 2 hours per month of personal consultation from an actual team member to help you identify the appropriate service for you or a loved one’s personal situation.via email or phone and if the situation calls for it.
100% confidential and no longer available to non followers.
The Executive Access – Boardroom Access Partners
We are also offering an entirely different type membership. They are Limited Partnerships – meaning only 10 of each are being considered at this time. The positions are for those who are aggressively pursuing some specific goals in a business, career or any pursuit that would require high-profile connections or simply need to do more than run a small business, and need the help of a larger group to help them to the next level.
We designed these slots with a few things in mind. One is to help some of our own followers achieve their goals, so in the future they can pay it forward and continue the mission that we have started. Another is to help us achieve our financial goals so we can begin doing what we do best, help others. The financial investment for the Executive is 500/monthly and the Boardroom is 1000/month. It is the highest level of commitment on both sides that exists.
In some ways these are open to what the two sides can do for each other. We have the advantage of being able to be flexible and creative.
The primary differences between the two is one has access to the board of directors on certain issues and has a voice and even a vote on issues related to the services fund-raising project. The Boardroom Access partner is that person.
There is a process to discuss either of these. If you are interested contact Tj to set up a phone conference -email@example.com.
occasionally we will have a need for a staff member and offer it out as a regular position. Right now we are looking to fill a few part-time executive assistant positions in exchange for platinum memberships .
We hope you find just the right opportunities so we can see you grow while we grow!
thanks Mike Carey and Tj Petri
You may notice I recommeded this right? But its my own writing! I know, I just put down a new standard. You will understand soon..
What Or Who Are We Really Trying To Be?
Someone recently askied me this ” did you know that the post I read of yours today was xxxx amount of words? That’s like 1200 more than the average post, I am just letting you know..”
I looked her and shook my head smirking…I said ” I know ain’t that insane nobody but me has figured out about how long a post should be, what a shame”
Now, we are friends and I was picking up what she was trying to put down. However there is a grain of truth in what I said. Not about ME being the standard, but who has the right to set a ” standard” anyhow and is that what we are all striving for?
Can you imagine going into a job interview and when the boss says ” tell me what your ambitions are, your dreams and what you are striving to be?” So you sit up, chest out, and firmly and proudly say ” well sir , I am striving to be the average at what I do, I believe I have what it takes to meet the ” standard”. As a matter fact sir I currently am almost dead even with the other professionals at everything I do!
Wow- You are Hired! Right ? Is that what you would hope to hear? I would not hold your breath! Lol.. Yet Do we even realize or know what we are striving to be? Can you identify what your goal to attain really is? Is it to be ” as good as so and so” you’r professional hero? If so you might want to step it up a notch. What good is it for me to finally climb Mt. Everest just to stand on top and proudly say YES! Today I am as good as all those who stood before me! I am now rolling in the same class with some pretty higher-ups!
Wow- good for you. You have just proven that you are capable of doing something so awesome, so incredible and so top-notch that you can now say you are just like the rest who accomplished the very same thing…lol.
You have noticed in the last 25 years or so we have plowed into, stayed in and are even trying to go further a humongous initiative to get everything done FAST!
1- Fast Food
3- Fast Travel
I am not exaggerating in this sense. About any ad these days for almost anything has something to do with the speed that we can get it ” over with” …
So lets look quickly at what its done for us..
1-Fast Food- No more family dinner time at 6 no matter what where our whole posse gets together and talks about our day. Its has really reversed that into us being with our ” new ” families – coworkers almost all day, and talking about what fast food we ate by ourselves for lunch…
2- Fast travel Well, the old adage ” stop and smell the roses” is not gone totally- but the most roses have taken other jobs or are secretly looking around I think! Business is not what it once was. I was looking at my grandmother’s picture collection a few months ago. My grandfather was an incredible man. He worked 50 years as an accountant at Mobile oil after coming here from Germany at age 7 with no English language skills. He was made fun of and all but he pressed on to become one of the most awesome husbands and men in general I have ever known.
Each year at Mobile after he became fairly successful, he got a bonus. He loved to golf and had lots of cool hobbies he could have spent that on. But no matter what it was a tradition that he used his bonus to send my grandmother and a few friends of her choice on a cruise of her choice. And he was proud to do it. In the last years those cruises became world cruises! A real treat for granny and her girls. So as I looked through her albums I noticed that besides having an album for each years cruise, they were filled with pictures for each stop, each port, each special city of all the ladies smiling and laughing.
My first thought was wow, they were the standard. That’s when they did stop for each rose, they did eat together, they did make any speed in life acceptable only if it would bring them back together quicker when they were separated for any reason. Missing a dinner as a family was a bummer. My grandparents were married almost 60 years. You know what-it wasn’t rare back in their day. Today I am waiting for someone to come out with a webinar on How to marry 6x in 60 years- without leaving work-lol…
So here is my point. Not everything that glitters is platinum. I know I know gold..but that’s changed too. Some changes have been great, trains , planes and all allow us to enjoy more of life that is if that’s what we use it for. I could go on past fast food, books, microwaves, an all that forever. I don’t think the majority of our need for speed has been the best for our families and health. However once again we created another monster we cannot feed.
Looking at the rates of the family breakdown alone is depressing. I am not saying our obsession with rushing through life has desroyed our families…wait yes I am saying that.
Don’t let the ” standard ” define you. You define the standard.
Wow, that was pretty good stuff! I am going to recommend this to a few of my friends . WHAT ? Whats the look for?
Oh, OOPS– that’s not really, well appropriate is it? Pushing my own stuff.
Well excellent then! I will do it.
I have just set a new standard!
Make a note of that in your book of standards before you forget.
Now- how about you go and set your own standard today. But whatever you do , don’t you dare do a word count on your or my posts! LOL
I am out-
(*today’s randomly selected letters may offend some as they involve politics/religion)
Deer don’t Label Mi KiDD
I sawed na post in which youd made fun of one a are fine W.Virginia teachers who wore a TRUCK FUMP Tee to skool.. She has the righst to her politics opinion.
I beeleve you employed she was-
3-a reason for birt control,
4-chewed tobacco (so?)
5- even that since she had no children -she must be able to “out run her brother“- what kind of stupid coment is that? All because she hates Trump? Wow. You are sumething else. That’s
out of line.
As much as I dislike Obama and Hillary and dummocrats, you will never hear me make any kind of statements so vile and ugly about politics. I would not say those type things at all ( unless they were facts and true) because I do not gossip.
Not one of those comments had to do with politics, I was just commenting on her being from West Virginia. I never mentioned anything about children at all. I may, possibly inadvertently repeated a totally inappropriate joke ( i don’t think its funny) that some guy said -about
“what do you call a girl from west virginia who can outrun her brother? A virgin. ”
But again no mention of children that’s lies.
My name is mohammed m. mohaamed.,
I read your sad post about we muslims ” kill people and that we cause division and are confused ourselves. You are uneducated on my religion. My little son mohammed jr. knows more then you. His little sister Muhammed could read the koran to you and right before I sold her she recited the entire book to me by memory. Pretty good for 7 years old. If we kill, it is in peace as our profit mohammed says to. Maybe if you spent some time with us you would also learn how to live a peaceful life.
The only downside at all is our name book only has 2 names in it at we have for our own automatic weapons. That’s a small price to pay for peace.You say I am confused? Man oh man if my wife was in town to watch little m&m and I didn’t have a few goats waiting I will show you some confusion
You Americans are stupid. You don’t know how to learn and use resources.
These days most 14 year old muslim boys already have their pilots license and just to mock your stupidity we had you pay for several shipments of arms thru our fine brother B. Hussein Obama’s generous donation of 3 BILLION dollars for Ramadan. Its comical you people don’t know what pleasure is. I must now go tend my flock but we will talk again..
Dear M&M ,
I only quoted from your koran. I apologize for offending you . Perhaps if I spent some with your people in the mosque ( do I have to check my AR at the door?) it would help.
Maybe I will see more clearly the link between the slaughters of your daughters, the dismembering of your wives, bartering your 6 year old’s off to 50 year old’s for marriage
Maybe my reward will be to reveal to me why the kids all must get pilot licenses used to crash planes not fly them…
Let me be clear on one thing.
No matter what- under any circumstances- at any time- ever- do I want t know ANYTHING about you all and your animals.- I refuse to even think about why you and your goats…well anyways my wife leaves town too….. but the boys round here watch football during those times, go fishing, hunting…we like the humans in these parts…but hey if allah is pleased thats all that matters right? You need a check up from the neck up.
As you see I did not post the 8 pictures of your ” girls” or whatever you call them but i did post just one as evidence all the readers that you sent this to me, and you are the one with the business idea – and I don’t appreciate offensive pictures your pleasure toys being sent here. Its repulsive. How would you like it if I sent you pix of beautiful naked women? Repulsed correct? Yes i know. So give me the same courtesy.
I think you and your new idea of putting 1000 goats under an air conditioned roof and serving drinks is nuts. That is just an undercover Muslim Strip Club. And Please do not ever use the term ” deep goat” ever again. You see I deleted all 14 times you said that in this letter.. I recommend making a way for your wife to be home more, although its no secret that the majority of non-goatees say you all purposely send your wives away all the time. That’s even more sick.
You are encouraging this Baaaaaad behavior.