Another Body … Just Another Bum.. A Drunk Most Likely… Should Have Made A Life For Himself. Right? No. That Could Be Us…. { Turning The Corner- Don’t Label My Kid! Lets Do It!} 2017- Taking It Up A Level..We Need Each Other..

Mental Health. Looks like this pretty much , right?  I took this picture 2 days ago. You know why? I assumed when I contacted the law to pick the body up they may want some documentation of when and where I found the guy.  Not that its any big deal, I see these bums all day long here in Daytona. Heck You and me could have ended up like that if we didn’t make the right choices, right? Whatever. Who are we kidding. But for the grace of God, there goes me.

In this case I got to walk away feeling better then I initially thought. You see, when I realized he was stiff, and smelled bad I just instinctively went to see if he had any ID to give the law. I was quite shocked when he about jumped when my hand touched his jacket pocket. He was alive! Sort of. Mike, as I later learned was his name was so scared I came to hurt him that he was shaking, I sat down with him and told him it was all good and I help people like him. I am a social worker. I help all people. No matter the age, race, issues, addictions, etc.

I know you cant see all that well in this picture as far as his age and all, but after we had talked awhile he shared a little about his life. Take a guess as to his age? Just do it, ball park.

Mike is 51.

I was able to offer him some options that he never knew were there. I know because that is my gift. We all have gifts, and in my case I have the ability to identify what people need to make their situation the very best it can be. I have done it for my entire career as a clinical social worker. I have worked with teens, parents, mental health patients, addicted folks, poverty stricken, violent people, even the most seriously developmentally disabled people in the world, literally. I have been called on to improve the quality of life for those who are deaf, dumb, blind, and aggressive. Can you imagine? The people in that arena that I ran programs for were abused so badly as babies that even though many were born ” normal” they had some of the most evil parents and caregivers you could imagine. Tossed in dumpsters as babies left to die, left on the hot Florida beaches as infants simply because the mom or dad was too lazy to bring them to a fire station or another outlet who would gladly have taken them in.

I started a school for 60 felons, ages 11-18. Gang members, 12 year old kids running crack at 3am on school days for their own parents. I lived for 5 years with 45 teens who were sexually abused very severely. Every group of people I worked with I was so thankful to have a God given gift to see through the outside and meet the true need on the inside. Now, before anyone thinks I am bragging – it could not be further from the truth. I am so  ” ungifted ” in some areas that men should be – lol- I remember a time when I had my young boys with me in my truck and I noticed my wipers were bad. I could not see through them. I stopped at the Auto Zone , ordered up 2 wipers in a manly voice…and spent the next 30 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out how to put the blades on until my 7 year old son took pity on me. He installed them in 5.

new life

If you have followed me long you will note that although I share my personal struggles, and trials, I have never laid out an ” I love me post” about my accomplishments in my gifts. One reason is because I realize it is a gift. I can help anyone, in any situation, no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel comfortable bragging about something that I was given. Oh, believe me – I can hang with the best of the braggers. I have the degrees, the awards and all that jazz. I could not even tell you where any of them are right now. I don’t care. I care about educating people and helping them save time, money and stress.

What I love most about what I do is I know every single job duty all those people and more have. But I don’t have to become each one. I sure can steer you to who will actually help you and who wants your money. I can tell you that in many cases I have not been able to get to the parent or family in time before they got taken for a ride to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and more. That’s the reason I am so determined to hold providers of mental health, addictions, behavioral health, and juvenile delinquents accountable for what they do. I know what they should be doing – but you don’t. I am not a psychiatrist, but if you have ever read my home page ” mental heath- its a crazy business” you know I do not mince words. Why? I know the truth.. Do want to know how many doctors or psychologists, psychiatrists have written me nasty letters over the 4 years I have been slamming them? ZERO.

I am sharing this for a reason. I am hanging my shingle again. For 4 years I have poured my heart out on here about my entire life. Its time to help you all get to where you need and want to be. And I am asking you to trust your family or personal needs into my care. I make the same promise I have kept my entire career. I will NEVER leave you broken. An I will certainly never leave you broke.  I don’t discharge my families when they go through a rough patch financially. I love using my gift. You may have noticed I have never taken a dime for any thing here, I do not sell ads like some. This audience that you all are was hand picked. I have never connected to the internet, other then this WordPress sight.

Last check this blog has had visitors from 65 countries ( that I know of ) and followers from at least 25 that I know of. That’s not my doing. It is no accident. You all are here for a reason. I am here to help.

When Mike Carey came along and was willing to join with this mission, I was and still am ecstatic. Why? Because Mike and I share a similar passion. We both love to use our gifts to help others. We both will never leave anyone hanging until they are well.  I am gong to show you a real life example of how God has already used Mike in my own family. Most of you know I have 2 grown boys, and 2 baby girls. Well, babies to me, they are 5 & 10.

This is my baby Shelbi..

My baby had 72 sticks with a needle that her doctor insisted on to test for allergies. For nothing. Next up he said – blood work! No. No way.. But what can I do? Better late then never – I called our resident gifted man in the healing of diseases. He said ” you took her where” ? ( made me feel even lower lol) –  No more he said , get her on the phone with me tonight for a minute or two. I was thinking to myself-  Hello!! What was I thinking? Tonight Shelbi said hello to Mr. Mike for about 2 minutes, and 10 minutes later he says ” oh she has some poisoning in her system and a viral infection. Go to your local health food store and get 2 items ( like 5 bucks each) and in 7 days it will be gone.

HUH?? What? Why did I forget the other people I have sent to him who had major diseases go away? Anyways no blood work and that’s  Mikes gift.

Screenshot_20170428-235857

If you need physical healing – take advantage of  this gift right in front f you . If its healing in any other area, call on me. I work on a case by case basis, until the job is done. I want you all to take this email address down.

Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – to help with Tj-

that is your direct line to me. I will be adding a toll free number as well but for now get me there. I will develop with you what I call a  “Plan of Care ”

There is NO issue you can throw at me that I havent done a hundred times. Confidentially we will put it all in place and work it out financially It sure would make me feel good if you all would entrust your needs to Mike and I. I thank you in advance . .

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With all we are trying to accomplish through this platform of Don’t Label My Kid!  It would really make a big difference if you all would commit to utilizing the gifts that Mike and  I have- for your own family. so that we can keep on helping others and continue trying to do what we do ..put pedophiles away -heal families -help addicts-  bring families together and just grow spiritually , emotionally and physically.

God Bless you all . Please Step up for this..

Tj

2017 Series -Getting Through The Dark Times; Faith It ‘Til Ya Make It!

 

In the last 4 years I have written about many topics from parenting to depression, addiction to PTSD, medication, suicide, therapy  and so much more. It seems like a lot but as I have always said, I don’t speak on anything that I haven’t lived through personally or at the very least studied professionally. In the beginning I thought writing about so many different types of issues would make it seem like life is filled with nothing but bad stuff. However  I learned two important things in the last four years; I am not alone, and people need to hear from others who can relate.

So far I have mostly  discussed all the different types of problems and medical mental health struggles and family issues that exist. And there’s plenty to discuss no doubt. . Up until now, I have not really delved into how we deal with these issues as we go through these dark trials. Its imperative that we have some way of staying grounded during these times we walk  through the valley.

 It’s very important that we have some sort of an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from reality when we feel so lost in such darkness, and with so few friends. As most of you have understood, if I shared my life experiences, some of these times are gone through very much alone and there are not many people around that can relate. Unless you really search. And most of the time we don’t feel like searching for anything when we’re barely able to wake up every day and get dressed. Having been through very traumatic times that caused depression, and nightmares and loneliness and sometimes the inability to function normally. I can understand the darkness that prevails if we allow it to.

 There’s a few things in my life that I can honestly say, are the only reasons that I am here today, both physically and mentally spiritually and emotionally. I know that if it took those things to keep me saying then all of you also had to have some way that you’ve coped something that held you together. and some? To that you’ve used to make it to the point, we are able to even write about it today on a blog. The truth is professionally I’ve seen that it isn’t a very high percentage of us that are able to make it even this far- in fact we are a  very blessed group of people to have come through what we have and able to share it with other people. Speaking of sharing it with other people that is a critical piece in healing. It isnt always about us -the spotlight can’t always be on us even in our dark times and the truth is some of the ways out of these dark times the very quickest are by reaching out to others and pulling them up with the knowledge we have.

Sometimes when you need a friend the most you got to go and be a friend to someone. . Sometimes when you need encouragement the most you need to go and encourage someone. And even sometimes when you need financial help, you need to reach out to someone who you know could use what little bit you have and help them.. The point is as tempting as it is when we are in these dark times, the worst thing we can do is send out invitations for a pity party. I have always found some good advice from a guy that sings a song full of truth abut these times. I would like to share this song with you and I’ve shared the one with lyrics so you can read along… Please take 3:38 minutes out and watch it…at the end of this post. It may just resonate with you somehow…( you may have to click on it to play it)

So as I kick off the on going series on how we have made it to the point we are, I would ask that you all share any advice that you have. I shared all the problems lol- now I need help with looking at many solutions. I am leaving this wide open, and welcome any guest posts on the topic. Like I said – the more you share the more therapeutic it is.

So lets see where this goes y’all

If You’re Going Through Hell..

Private: Invitation Only–Please Join Us In The Fight To Provide Effective Services To Those Suffering. Tj & Mike

**This information is intended for the recipient and nobody else. Please lets keep this in house.. Greetings , You all are in for some very exciting news!  If you have received this invitation you are a part of a special group of people. You are special to us in that you are followers of Mike […]

 

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_T8zNEl5CBkbEs3WmZoZHZnQ2c/view?usp=drivesdk

Above and below are 2 different ways to hear Tj  give his   personal greeting and update. In order to hear it you may have to load the open. If neither will work for you just skip it I will be doing these regularly.

udio- TJ greeting and update of the Dont Lablel My Kid! Projects(I

**This information is intended for the recipient and nobody else. Please lets keep this in-house..

Mike Carey alternative Solutions 4 Health & Tj from Dont Label My KId!

I made a quick audio update ( both links above, but had a few problems on one of the times I tried to open, you may have to download first but if its more than a few minutes just let it go, as it is jut an update and I will be dong these from time to time…tj


Greetings ,

You all are in for some very exciting news!  If you have received this invitation you are a part of a special group of people. You are special to us in that you are followers of Mike Carey – Alternative Solutions 4 Health, or TJ -(Dont Label My KId) and Mike have teamed up! That’s right we are joining forces to reach some goals and accomplish some things that have never been done before. We want you all along with us. Much is happening in the way of change and we have some exciting things in the works.

We want the people who have been supportive of us to get some too.

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(Notes- It has come to our attention that a fairly large group of bloggers were included in this private invitation who may or may not be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! Or Mike Carey .)

(After checking into it we found that you all actually are  considered by  WordPress to be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! via what I call the ‘ “undercover follower” method lol which I actually learned  is an option that I was unaware of. The other possibility is you register  so much on the site you are considered followers.

Either way you are blood.

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Just come on home – make it official-go click follow on this site. You do have to do that to take part so if you could make sure you all are ” legal” by like tomorrow we can stop the confusion…..And now we return to our regular programming. .)

With  Mike’s incredible knowledge and gifts in areas of  health and the mission of DLMK to serve a huge group of people worldwide who are desperate for help in the areas of mental, behavioral health and addictions it seemed a match made in heaven to team up and meet the needs of the total person in ways that have never been done. AS4H and DLMK have one thing in common.

Success rates that are at least double or more of many of the options available. That is not to say there are not very talented people working in our areas because there is. We have a unique chance to make sure that all components that a person may need in treatment, we can help with and using the same team, same model and same philosophy. Not all have that advantage.

Beliefs in how and who in treatment are absolutely identical. Both are believers in getting to the root issue; both believe in as natural of a healing as is possible; both are  committed to a return to normalcy asap. Sadly the country we live in supports financially those who keep people sick. It pays very well.

The goals of physical treatment centers and other care is already in the works. As matter of fact we will be talking with a major insurer in Florida about helping fund treatment centers! At this moment right now we have a goal to get services out to the world through virtual means. Mike can do what he does and the whole team can each help in reaching out to the world. However one thing holds us back.

It is very expensive technical work to build a portal  as we will using the Don’t Label My Kid! site as a platform. The site today has followers from 60 countries. The cost to make this happen is huge but not as a team. You are part of our team. It’s not a one-sided team and that’s why nobody else but our followers got invitations. As we succeed, you succeed. Why pay an outside investor a ton of money to help us when we can work together and meet all of our needs?

With that said – in order to reach who we need to reach we will need help.  So we are asking that you take a hard look at what is in front of you right now and consider getting involved to the extent that are able. We think no matter what level you are supporting us he return will far outweigh any monthly investment. When we need to add some service providers to our database who do you think we will utilize?

That’s right – you.

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In closing I will give a quick example or two. The placement of your blogs name on a separate page on the website goes to anyone at any level. Think about this. How much would it cost for a newspaper as or magazine/radio ads -100? More ? Even then you must hope and pray that people hear or see your ad at the very time they need your service.

Our followers are made up of people like you same demographic. That’s gold. The potential reach for your name in a day could be 500k- you see DLMK has followers that have 100k each!  So it’s a great deal. Please jump in, Today is the kick-off let’s do it up!

                               Here is our Commitment to You –

**For those come on board now, we will do something to show you our appreciation. We provide care for the total person here . We make sure that whether it’s a general doctor, a psychologist, an addictions specialist or any other type of care, that we have the best of the best.

So, to those who become any level as a founding member -we have you covered for any crisis needs in your immediate family. Free.

The 3 subscriptions are below are simply select what is best and sign up…

(We do have a few limited partnerships available. These are NOT for the average blogger or small business owner . The investment and commitment are much greater and suited for large set ups. People looking make some high level career advances with other projects we are working on and things like that. They are listed after the 3 below.)

***THIS JUST IN- PLEASE READ*****Mike Carey and I just spoke Today is 4/29/2107  at 10:40pm Eastern Time.

Mike has told me to take away the hours of consulting that go with the package if you are a Founders Club Member…Instead, when you become an active member now AT ANY LEVEL– He said PUT NO LIMIT ON IT!!! This means by subscribing you are on Mike’s List Of Clients and you NEVER have to pay for his service..

He also said as a small token of his appreciation to those who are serving, or have served in the military Everything ( all of his services) are on the house and the same goes for those in Christian Pastoral ministry or retired from it. 

Finally, if you want to become a member but cannot afford 25.00$ / Month we will offer scholarships if you can provide proof

. We also exchange services for memberships-if you have a skill we can use, or a product we can use..

Thanks in advance for trusting us and becoming Founding Club Members !


Don’t Label My Kid!  & Alternative Solutions 4 Health Founders club

                                          ~ Status Options~

———————————————————————————————————————————–

25.00-  Official Member

1-Your Blog Featured on separate page with founders only

2-Access to private database of services

*** Note – If you are wanting to bump up to GOLD but cannot afford it? Bring us 5 new members at any level and you got it .

(They must become followers of either Mike, Tj or both to be eligible.)

Subscribe as Official Member

———————————————————————————————————————-

50.00-  GOLD Member

1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only

2-Access to private database of services

3-  Founders Group Member Tag for your Homepage

4- A free hour per month of consultation with any of  team! phone Email

Subscribe as Founders Gold Member


NOTE! Want to become a Platinum member without the extra 50 bucks? No problem, bring us 5 Gold members!


100.00– Platinum

1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only

2-Access to private database of services

3-Founders Group PLATINUM Member Tag for your homepage

4-1 Guest post on the DLMK site per quarter to share your blog’s mission or post a blog of your choice (these will be highlighted and recognized as a Guest Post From Founding Member-available only to Platinum members)

5- 2 hours per month of personal consultation from an actual team member to help you identify the appropriate service for you or a loved one’s personal situation.via email or phone and if the situation calls for it.

100% confidential and no longer available to non followers.

Subscribe as Founders Platinum Member

————————————————————————————————————————————

                    The Executive Access – Boardroom Access Partners

We are also offering an entirely different type membership. They are Limited Partnerships – meaning only 10 of each are being considered at this time. The positions are for those who are aggressively pursuing some specific goals in a business, career or any pursuit that would require high-profile connections or simply need  to do more than run a small business, and need the help of a larger group to help them to the next level.

We designed these slots with a few things in mind. One is to help some of our own followers achieve their goals, so in the future they can pay it forward and continue the mission that we have started. Another is to help us achieve our financial goals so we can begin doing what we do best, help others. The financial investment for the Executive is 500/monthly and the Boardroom is 1000/month. It is the highest level of commitment on both sides that exists.

In some ways these are open to what the two sides can do for each other. We have the advantage of being able to be flexible and creative.

The primary differences between the two is one has access to the board of directors on certain issues and has a voice and even a vote on issues related to the services fund-raising project. The Boardroom Access partner is that person.

There is a process to discuss either of these. If you are interested contact Tj to set up a phone conference -tim@dontlabelmykid.com.

occasionally we will have a need for a staff member and offer it out as a regular position. Right now we are looking to fill a few part-time executive assistant positions in exchange for platinum memberships .

We hope you find just the right opportunities so we can see you grow while we grow!

thanks Mike Carey and Tj Petri

(*today’s randomly selected letters may offend some as they involve politics/religion)

 

Deer don’t Label Mi KiDD

I sawed na post in which youd made fun of one a are fine W.Virginia teachers  who wore a TRUCK FUMP Tee to skool.. She has the righst to her politics opinion.

I beeleve you employed she was-

1-mentally challenged,

2-toothles

3-a reason for birt control,

4-chewed tobacco (so?)

5- even that since she had no children -she must be able to “out run her brother“- what kind of stupid coment is that? All because she hates Trump? Wow. You are sumething else. That’s out of line.

West Virginia Mountain MaMa

 

West Virginia Obama Mama

Bubba

 


Dear Bubba-

As much as I dislike Obama and Hillary and dummocrats, you will never hear me make any kind of statements so vile and ugly about politics.  I would not say those type things at all ( unless they were facts and true) because I do not gossip.

Not one of those comments had to do with politics, I was just commenting on her being from West Virginia. I never mentioned anything about children at all. I may, possibly inadvertently repeated a totally inappropriate joke ( i don’t think its funny) that some guy said -about

“what do you call a girl from west virginia who can outrun her brother? A virgin. ”

But again no mention of children that’s lies.

tj

 


 

Hey DLMK!

My name is mohammed m. mohaamed.,

 

I read your sad post about we muslims ” kill people and that we cause division and are confused ourselves. You are uneducated on my religion. My little son mohammed jr. knows more then you. His little sister Muhammed could read the koran to you and right before I sold her she recited the entire book to me by memory. Pretty good for 7 years old. If we kill, it is in peace as our profit mohammed says to. Maybe if you spent some time with us you would also learn how to live a peaceful life.

The only downside at all is our name book only has 2 names in it at we have for our own automatic weapons. That’s a small price to pay for peace.You say I am confused? Man oh man if my wife was in town to watch little m&m and  I didn’t have a few goats waiting I will show you some confusion

.

goat man

You Americans are stupid. You don’t know how to learn and use resources.

obamaosama

These days most 14 year old muslim boys already have their pilots license and just to mock your stupidity we had you pay for several shipments of arms thru our fine brother B. Hussein Obama’s generous donation of 3 BILLION dollars for Ramadan.  Its comical you people don’t know what pleasure is. I must now go tend my flock but we will talk again..

Signed

M&M

 


 

Dear M&M ,

I only quoted from your koran.  I apologize for offending you . Perhaps if I spent some with your people in the mosque ( do I have to check my AR at the door?) it would help.

Maybe I will see more clearly the link between the slaughters of your daughters, the dismembering of your wives, bartering your 6 year old’s off to 50 year old’s for marriage

Maybe my reward will be to reveal to me why the kids all must get pilot licenses used to crash planes not fly them…

Let me be clear on one thing.

No matter what- under any circumstances- at any time- ever- do I want t know ANYTHING about you all and your animals.-  I refuse to even think about why you and your goats…well anyways my wife leaves town too….. but the boys round here watch football during those times, go fishing, hunting…we like the humans in these parts…but hey if allah is pleased thats all that matters right? You need a check up from the neck up.

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As you see I did not post the 8 pictures of your ” girls” or whatever you call them but i did post just one as evidence all the readers that you sent this to me, and you are the one with the business idea – and I don’t appreciate offensive pictures your pleasure toys being sent here. Its repulsive. How would you like it if I sent you pix of beautiful naked women? Repulsed correct? Yes i know. So give me the same courtesy.

I think you and your new idea of putting 1000 goats under an air conditioned roof and serving drinks is nuts. That is just an undercover Muslim Strip Club. And Please do not ever use the term ” deep goat” ever again. You see I deleted all 14 times you said that in this letter.. I recommend making a way for your wife to be home more, although its no secret that the majority of non-goatees say you all purposely send your wives away all the time. That’s even more sick.

You are encouraging this Baaaaaad behavior.

tj

 A Little About Me. The Guy Behind Don’t Label My Kid!- Tj -Up Close And Personal..**sorry for issues with link will have fixed in a few hours. ..

 

Well, I thought after 4 years maybe I should introduce myself… to my ” inner circle”.

 What you are about to read is all true folks- except for some rumor about the home in the background of the picture of my wife and I -being my ” Guest House” – Right… On a Social Workers salary? Not!…

Its actually just our own humble abode. We cannot afford ” guest houses”.

Ok, alright – just got a” friendly” nudge from my wife (ouch) to tell the ” whole ” truth. So It’s actually the Biltmore Hotel, and ” technically speaking” we used our life savings to spend 2 nights there 12 years ago…   Whats the big diff?

Some people are just dream-killers.

Anyhow this really is my story in a snapshot…    ..

http://dontlabelmykid.com/Home.html

Are You Staying Or Going….                                I Dare You To Move..

                                            Are You Staying ? Or Our You Going?

 

 

 

 

 

I am about to out into words a post that quite possibly could rank to me at least in the top 3 posts I have written here . I have posted 500+.  200 or so are on the light side, unrelated to my experiences in abuse, addiction, a family peppered with suicide, depression, violence, more depression and on it goes. I suffered through many , many days, weeks and even months crawling emotionally and spiritually  towards some imaginary finish line that I could not see.

Now even though I have enough in my mind and to fill many pages here, and planned on taking my time, just 30 minutes ago that plan was scrapped. Oh not for lack of stories good and sad, spiritual journeys that have been so unreal to some that they question why I maintain any faith at all in ” God” – much less a stronger faith then ever..(and those are my Christian friends!)

Nope, just I was preparing to start this post, something just drew me to glance at the new posts on reader before I started. Well,  just like most details in my life, this was no accident at all. Other than a little bump to my pride I am good with it now.. lol

 

A new friend , fellow blogger and gifted writer named Mehul Singla  just rearranged my plan 100% and he has no clue-yet !..He just today pushed some great “6 letter posts” out and asked for feedback. I gave him my 2 cents. A few minutes later I realized I was giving us both advice. So here is the new plan. I will spare you 30 minutes of sad stories and how my life has taken its odd turns- ONLY if you promise to do 2 things.

1- After you read this blip I am almost done with please watch this video. One of my very favorite singers in the world..Jon Foreman of  Switchfoot.

Jon has touched my life for 25 years, many by this very song.  One time I recall laying on the floor of a rehab at 29 withdrawing from medications, crying out for anyone to listen-when nobody believed in me anymore. Another maybe 3 years later when began to battle major depression while being used as a guniea pig. About 2 dozen medications later I got off them all- but not before the car wreck, then being sucker punched by a guy with brass knuckles which aside from 50 stitches in my eye socket cost me much memory.

I wont get into really bad stuff like my bone disease, failed hip replacement at 44 and 6 surgeries after that leaving my famiy homeless…

So watch it- Thats #1

 

Here is THEE point- Whatever your hole, your pit, your paralyzing loss, pain, or whatever…Jon’s cry to me in this song has always been the same- ” I Dare You To Move”-

If you google ” What is the song Dare You To Move about- Jon gives an overview of why, when, how that song just became…and how in the very hardest most tragic times, it was the answer to this question that in many ways determined his destiny on earth..as it does mine each day..

To my atheist, agnostic, not sure yet- tree huggers, beer chuggers and all of y’all -lol you know I love you all the same…but an interesting piece of trivia- Switchfoot is NOT a ” Christian” band… I have seen them 3x in person and their message is always the same-

  • a message of hope and healing. ( I even smoked a Newport at a concert one time)

I know, I know exactly what you are thinking… “Tj you live on the edge”-

Well, I have calmed down some ok?

(Now secretly, I think thats just what they are called to do- UNBEAT some people who have been bible thumped to near death -lol)

Just to encourage people and live it too..

#2 – It can be just between you and you – you and God- you and a palm tree- doesnt matter- but do this- Identify you “mud puddle.” To me my mud puddles are; one part dirt from our past, 1 part self pity,  1 part fear of what lies ahead if you DO move on and 1 part liking attention we get from being ” muddy” all the time…lol

I am sorry its just the language I use! Work with me…

 

Lastly- although this can be private…often when we do begin to identifythese things, we need someone or people to reach out to,…if you find yourself with a good idea of what your puddle of choice is, do not hesitate to email me in 100% certainty of absolute confidentiality. I have learned who to know and trust in my 25  years in social work..whether immediate counseling from a trusted private and free service to the most elaborate fancy shmancy beachsie rehab where you get your own laptop with your yogurt and personak trainer all in strict confidence. Remember, I have already been where most of you have, or need to be when it comes to identifying our areas of need. Its an everyday thing for me…

peace2you

tj

 

MILESTONE FOR DLMK- TODAY!

 OUR FIRST PARTNER IN THE PROVISION OF SERVICES!

For a year or more I have been  posting about the fact that we will at some point be providing services for mental and behavioral health, as well as a myriad of coaching and counseling services for addictions and many other needed services, right here, from the Don’t Label My Kid! site, and for our followers. As you know, I started this blog with the intention of educating the general public on issues related to our obsession in America with ” labeling ” almost all of us with some sort of  ” disorder ” and medicating just about anyone old enough to swallow pills.

If you have read my home page, which I know many if not all have, you know how strongly I feel about the business side of mental health that only takes place in America – and for good reason. Big pharmaceutical companies are BILLION dollar industries, and the ” circle of love ” as I call it on the home page, expands throughout much of the psychiatric industry. I don’t to belabor the point as I went into it extensively at the start of this blog and most of you here today are here at least in part because you, or someone you know has or is suffering from a mental, behavioral, or addictive issue that although treated in the past, has not improved.

I cannot say for certain that all of you fall into that category but I can say just from your feedback, comments and emails to me that several thousand if not more do have an issue related to it or another medical issues that has kept you following this blog, and reading the 500 posts on here. In a nutshell, we all have some family or personal issue that we feel we may get support from here together as a group. I know I have benefited greatly from what you all have shared, and I like to think that my 20 years in the field and my research and writing here has helped many in some way or another.

In the last year or so, I have been closer then ever to identifying who I would like to have here providing services to you all and anyone you know, via virtual counseling and coaching and yes I even have a model and plan I have been sharing with major providers who agree with all of us that this over medicated and over labeled society needs change. There are good providers who don’t hand out med’s like candy and order years of useless therapy that only serves to keep people depressed and doctors paid-in some cases. I will tell you that it is coming soon! Not just effective treatment with the least amount of drugs and therapy – but the most cost effective as well. I have been talking to only the BEST in the industry and expressing the concern we all have over the excessive costs of services..

I ma going to end that segment now because I can barely contain myself on what I am about to share..

Every once in a blue moon you meet or have a business connection with someone who just operates on an entirely different level then most of us. The amazing results and the unbelievable savings in care just stand out from everyone else. The man I am proud to introduce to you right now, starting this day as our very first partner in the pursuit of creating a new standard of care for healthcare in general- is a man who not only has results- in his years of service that are amazing- and testimonies that never seem to end- but also about diseases and ailments that nobody has had much if any success with.

He is an expert is not only the nutritional ingredients in the healing of the human body, but he has a gift – and that is what it is- a GIFT that I have never seen in my life to assist people not to treat symptoms of major diseases, but actually watch them disappear in weeks or months of working with him. I must stop now before I get too excited and write three more pages about his career…lol

However with just a quick click of a link here you can read and see for yourself the kind of incredible healing that takes place under his guidance. Not only that but he works like we need him to, virtually and by phone, from anywhere in the world.  I never had hopes of landing such a man for our site, and I was extremely surprised that he was even willing to work with anyone referred from this site at very very reasonable rates. I jokingly asked if he could throw in the first call / consultation from any of my followers for free! ( hey why not go for it) and he said YES.

 

Now I will let you read his credentials and experience, and wait for the catch, like I did…but there is no catch and here is why.  Mike Carey is a man who recognizes he was given a gift to help others.  Its a rare gift and he could easily use it to exploit people who are hurting and sick and need his help. Instead he does the opposite. He bends over backwards for his clients and as you will see he even keeps contact with the families of the person who was sick, and allows them to call him if one of their family members falls ill!

Ok -I need to stop and let you all have his contact info and website and all – I am totally overwhelmed that he is partnering with us like this and I know you all will be very thankful when you realize what he is willing to do for us, in part because he knows we all have struggles and are trying to help others through our blogging.


Without further rambling- Mike Carey can be reached at  208-968-5797 and his email is      silverwood08@gmail.com

http://www.alternativesolutions4health.com

and testimonials I believe at

http://www.alternativesolutions4health.info/testimonials

***OBVIOUSLY PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THROUGH ALL OF HIS INFORMATION ***

Before calling him so we don’t waste any of his time and so you know what specific questioins to ask..

 

I will obviously be dedicating  some space on the blog to put all of his contact info and more of his endless list of happy customers! For now, use the above info to contact Mike.

TJ

 

 

 

(America’s) David Getting On With The Business Of Our Country As Goliath Slowly Bleeds Out..

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“Goliath mocked David and said that he was not afraid of a little boy. David said that the Philistine came with a sword, shield and spear, but David came with confidence in the God of Israel. David boldly replied that he had no fear of Goliath and that the birds would be picking the flesh off his giant body by the end of the day

David let fly the stone in his sling. The stone hit the giant between the eyes and the stone sunk into his forehead. Goliath fell forward while both armies watched. David then pulled the giant sword from its sheath and chopped off the head of the Philistine champion.

1 Samuel 17

 


 

Whether or not you are Christian is not the point here. I shared this as an example of a person who seemingly was facing sure defeat and humiliation, yet for some reason he had the inside information needed to ignore the odds. Not only that but he actually used the evil man”s own weapon to kill him.

This can be used as a symbolic tool for all of us as I am sure we all have or are facing some ” giants ” in our lives. Disease, grief or whatever it may be, we all have them. However what separates from us from David is that at the very least we do have access to some type of reference book or manual as to how some have had victory over what we are facing.

Whether or not you are a Trump supporter matters not here. Many people from all angles have spoken up at some point during the campaign process stating this very thing-the odds are against Trump.  Now that he has beaten the odds-what next?

Seems he has been making very fast progress at undoing any dangerous traps and laws signed off on by Obama. Many times with no support,  except his worn out executive pen..

In todays news, Trump calls for an investigation into the Clintons and possible ties to Russia. Click the link-

Time to uncover the mud of the slingers…

 

 

The above article is just one of hundreds of examples of serious wrong doing . The liberals will for sure downplay and attempt to discredit this and the next 50 or so examples as they are exposed by Trump. Even with that said, the party cannot  continue this forever and at some point even the most liberal lefty will pick up his ball and go home. That is not really a victory in my eyes, as it would be nice if this country was full of TRUTH seekers, not TRUMP haters.

I must admit that even as a firm supporter of most of what President Trump stands for and opposed to what Obama stands for –  I am surprised at the turn around time in which this administration has been able to accomplish what they have. As it was in the story of David and Goliath- Trump’s  “giant”  in this past election was still running smack even at the actual moment that battle would begin.

So confident,  that no mental preparation or halt of attacks were noticed att least that we are aware of.   Just” jacking their  jaw” as they say . with no evidence, proof or truth to most of it. No matter what side you are on, it’s just not possible to deny that most of the talk was projection.  Martin Sheen criticizing Trumps parenting? Seriously ?  How embarrassing for him. Maybe he was partying with Charlie and made a poor judgement call while high on crack.

I know first hand that can be very difficult to sweep up the broken glass of another. I  give Trump much credit for not giving in to the outpouring of vitriolic  hate speech and pressure from the groups that swore they would kill themselves or move out of the country if Trump won.

How though ? How does a human stand the pressure of the entire  national (liberal) media?

Personally,  there are days when I don’t feel up to looking the checkout girl at the grocery in the eye while checking out…Even on my best days I don’t know that I could keep my temper in check with the ugly accusations and even personal attacks on his minor child and family.

I believe the answer is simple. He was aware of hos battles. He knew the truth and ugliness that we are just starting to be allowed to see about the Obama charade. He came into battle much like David, and knew enough that no matter the spin of the media, or silly attempts to sling that truth would prevail. It is prevailing as we are daily seeing incredible progress make major improvements in many areas.

Sharia law banned – now publicly and not tucked under any rug. The 78 million tax dollars Obama paid an advertising group during the election to bombard the country with false claims . The counter- terrorism action that Trump has and is taking to protect us, which Obama decided to call ” random acts of violence”..The list is endless and it only started just months ago!

The point here is we are not out of the woods yet. No matter how much irrefutable evidence is presented– as we know both Obama and Hillary are not in prison and are living free unlike anyone in the general public would be. So we are now in the stage of clear evidence of overwhelming significance with 100% proof of crimes.

The above clip is just one of hundreds of examples of serious wrong doing- allegedly. The liberals will for sure downplay and attempt to discredit this and the next 50 or so examples as they are exposed by Trump.

The supporters of Hillary and Obama have decided not to acknowledge it but to find loopholes, or cite any number of excuses why it is all fake. Not only that but giving publicity to thug rappers who are ” joking”  in videos about  ASASSINATING our President.. I don’t know about you but those words have always meant possible prison time as I was growing up. Now the liberals put them on Saturday Night Live..

I believe we are at the stage now when a president is capable after cleaning house of corrupted officials to order the cameras to stay on indefinetly. We are seeing an influx of terrible accusations about Obama, Hillary and many who were associated. Of course their suporters are pretending its all manufactured by Trump.

Common sense tells you that Trump does not need  to manufacture anything. He is the President ladies and gentleman.

All he is doing and will continue to do is expose what has already been in existance for 8 years and fix the mess.

If you disregard every word I have written here please look with your own eyes at the closing example that things are far from they appear and from what the media likes to say..

 

Lately since David ( Trump ) has smashed Goliath in the mouth, there has been a weak effort by the few stragglers in the liberal media who refuse to give in to truth. They have decided not only to deny the impending slaughter, but divert audiences with totally false information about Trump to get the public eye off of what Trump hs done and ill keep dong.

Just to be clear, the issues we who are anti-terrosits, pro-America and all are accusing Obama and Hillary of are very serious . Some involve many counts of High Treason..Serious stuff. So lets see what comparable accusations the leberal media has to offer about  Trump. Lets see his dirty laundery. CNN bring your A game….

 

Well here is it folks. They nailed Trump here. He might be scared of stairs. Shoot Mr. President why you not disclose this when we were voting? It may have changed my mind..

 

 

 

Also in todays news was an article on how Trumps ratings have dropped so low its proof our country does not approve Then again, when I looked at the source, none other then CNN!

After looking a little deeper I actually found an example of that good old  PROJECTION  they love to use so much

Who has the terrible dip in ratings? None other then CNN themselves

 

 http://www.inquisitr.com/264600/cnn-ratings-continue-to-plummet-q2-lowest-in-two-decades/

Next time a Trump hater tells you some secret about him- check the source. They arent used to that kind of accountability.

 http://www.inquisitr.com/264600/cnn-ratings-continue-to-plummet-q2-lowest-in-two-decades/
Lovin Trump 4 Loving Amercia
tj

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mailbag-The Questions Only We Dare To Answer…(They Crack Me Up)

UPDATE#2 – FATHER ALBERT GONDEK PEDOPHILE- IF YOU HATE CHILD MOLESTERS -STOP HERE! URGENT! PREDATOR PRIEST- NORTH CAROLINA_

“La Folla Femmine.”.

Catholic Pedophile Priests

“The Feminine Mob”

          YOU ARE NEEDED RIGHT NOW!

        UNLESS YOU ARE PRO-PEDOPHILE-READ THIS.

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———————

I have always had a tough time trying to describe the whole pedophile ring in the Catholic church. I’ve always known and millions have suspected what goes on in there but never able to prove it.  Before I go further, I am not saying ALL priests are pedophiles. As a matter of fact, a priest helped me in gathering this information

With that said, its time the world sees just how deeply involved all levels of clergy in some areas really are..

 Because of how ruthless they are in being willing to be to protect their sick hobbies at any cost, I even named them. I call them La Folla Femminine..

                  The Feminine Mob

                                                                               .”.

After all the years of seeing what I have, one way I try to cope and take any comfort at all is to remind myself that it isn’t over.  The church can bully and hurt people to protect their child predators here on earth but the future outlook is not so bright.

.


               Matthew 18:6  (ESV)

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

_____________________________________________________________________

It may just  blow your mind to know what happens from the inside out in the Catholic church (in certain areas)  on a regular basis. The information we have provides some evidence of  things that have never been proven before although always suspected. 

This documentation is a model of sorts that the Catholic church uses to avoid accountability and consequences for what I believe is a huge pedophile ring that spans the globe and leads straight to the pope.

You might recall that father Albert Gondek first came into my life as he was very closely associated with my own brother 20 some years ago. My brother was another victim of this predator, and sadly the end result for my brother was suicide.  Just as it has always been until now, even evidence in writing did not interest the church and Gondek went off free of course. If you care to see what the predator looks like, click below.

 

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/ckysag/picture50801635/ALTERNATES/LANDSCAPE_1140/Rev.-Albert-J.-Gondek-OSFS

(Did you look at him? I know – me too. Reminds me of certain types of clowns – you know the real creepy ones ? John Wayne Gacy comes to mind. )

After the incident with my brother I decided on a career in Social Work and kind of lost track of Gondek. Due to some very unusual events, I was connected with someone who just “happened” upon me on my blog, and also” happened” to be involved in Gondeks current parish. In a very short period of time we were able to fill in some gaps of time that placed Gondek in certain situations similar to my brothers. Between that information, and you all sharing the story, everything needed fell right into place.

As a Social Worker and a person who has experienced first hand the incredible apathy and disgusting  behaviors in the church, I  have always kept my eye on this problem but always came up with the same dilemma. 

Lawyers and money /millions of dollars over the history of the church has always won over anyone trying to raise awareness to these issues. To sum it up,  anybody who has spoken up or  attempted to bring it to light has either been bullied or bought out.

To date over six billion ( B) has been paid out  just to pay people off and settle with  them so they won’t speak up in court..

Those not  willing to take the bribe have suffered the wrath. Deportation,  the cutting off of food sources or income for their families,  exile from the local community and rumors of much worse things. In this particular case only one of the boys came forward out of the seven,  and  coincidentally  two weeks later  the Catholic church shipped him off to Mexico deportation .

Here is how slick  these guys are–

Check this out. After they got rid of the young man the spokesperson for the North Carolina diocese, who sent me the email you see in this post, made a statement something like this  ” Although we have no evidence, just an allegation from an incarcerated man, out of an abundance of caution Father Al is being moved to another state while we work with law enforcement to do a thorough investigation.”

He failed to leave out one critical piece of information He incarcerated the young man, in the deportation holding area.

And of course no investigation took place, no law enforcement was notified, nor was any agency.

 

The movie Spotlight  was a good door opener to get to the bottom of the real truth about the pedo-priest ring that I believe could be a majority in certain areas of the Catholic church.  Although they mostly uncovered records of older cases where people have covered things up and it wasn’t in real-time with real molesters and  real victims – it did serve as a tool to make the Catholic church at least cough up a tiny bit of information and sort of admit that maybe there were a few more pedo-priests than they thought. They came up with some sort of public announcement to pacify everyone.

  •  They opted telling the media they would put in place a committee to hold priests accountable. I know of no such committee.

  •  They also said publicly that they had a ZERO  tolerance in the area of pedophilia in the church..

  •  After reviewing all the records, I must say they were telling the truth about the ZERO tolerance.  They just left one critical part out.

  •  The ZERO tolerance was not for the priests but for the brat or who opened his mouth. You better believe there is a  ZERO tolerance for that..

  • Its bad news for the victim who chooses to make known the torment he’s experiencing by any member of   La Folla Femminine…

                                       

 When they are not busy painting each others fingernails – they are about the business of protecting their hobby.

 In a sense the movie was a victory for the church because the truth did not get exposed about the everyday functioning of this huge ring –  however it  did call for some action and accountability which now is an open door to show the truth of the extent of  it.

  In my opinion there should be a non-stop 24/7 investigative show just like COPS –    going  after all the priests still working and  molesting kids , every single day and night until it’s shut down.

The truth is it doesn’t matter if you had a trillion dollars or a trillion lawyers that’s not what drives this. There’s only one thing that can make the attention stay on this issue and that is the cameras of the media.

 If  just ONE affiliate  would keep the camera rolling after one incident and go to the next one and the next one and the next one they would be the first to spearhead something that could be the most effective positive change in the history of the church.

ARE WE GOING TO LET THIS PREDATOR WALK JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS?

delay

 

Unfortunately we have many  followers who are leading the way in the media . It will take a leader.

So my fellow bloggers, this is where the power of networking comes in and I need ALL of you to connect here.

                   LETS BLOW THIS UP SO IT CANNOT BE IGNORED.

If you all share this we can hit over a MILLION people just for starters…how about it?

Again the case is about Father Albert Gondek-Lexington, North Carolina- Our Lady Of The Rosary Catholic Church. Google that info you will confirm he was accused (again) in 2015- This case involved 7 boys and one who spoke up. We have all the neccessary statements, eye witnesses, living breathing people to testify of the hideous sex, drugs and intimidation scheme that Father Albert ran on young boys….disgusting.

He was recently rewarded for being a confessed predator with an early PAID retirement and no report to the law.. LETS MAKE THE LAW SEE IT AND THE MEDIA SEE IT.

 

As I said, it  has never been proven that pedophilia in the church is SUPPORTED…until now…

Many of you who helped me to put the word out about him in the last year will remember that we really needed some additional evidence and proof and some attention on this case. I shared with you the immediate results that all of you have gotten by blogging that post originally. 

One of the things you may be surprised about is the power the church has had to intimidate that even some law enforcement agencies seem intimidated by the church. 

Afraid to ruffle any feathers with full understanding that kids were being  raped  inside the very churches they drive by each day. Difficult to imagine.

It’s amazing to see  the Catholic church try to defend this problem by saying ” we’ve only had three or four hundred convicted pedophile priests” . There is good reason for that – it’s hard to convict a priest when the church protects them from the law and conceals the evidence.

Below is the link to the Bishops accountability page, where the church is supposed  to share with the public the status of the accused.

 As I just mentioned, the church officially came out with only 300 actual legit cases in a public statement recently.

What you are going to see when you have time to open this ( it’s NOT a 3 minute read) might shock you..rather then 300, their numbers range from 10-20k victims or “valid claims ” as they say. When you scroll through the lists, state by state or diocese by diocese you will think you are searching white pages of a major city.

There is more.  You see the author and editor of this site is non other then the Catholic church. Imagine, if they are willing ( only because they had no choice) to publish these pedo-priests- then God only knows how many truly exist? 

My instinct tells me it’s on the wrong side of 50% of priests , but if you count those who  aide and cover-up offenses of others, much higher.

http://www.bishop-accountability.org/AtAGlance/USCCB_Yearly_Data_on_Accused_Priests.htm

Check this article from an actual real Cardinal. Truth. He himself advocating to get rid of the  many pedophiles in the Catholic church. You know, the ones  that the pope swears are not there.

http://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/callista-ring/2017/01/23/young-pope-accidentally-confirms-catholic-doctrine-attempt

If  you’ve been following this you’ll remember it wasn’t just one-but six or seven boys he molested over two a year period. I am skipping much for times sake, but here is the bottom line. The email you see on top of this post is the actual email I received just days ago from one of the head pedo-priests of the North Carolina diocese. He was responding to a request I made months ago for an update on the ” investigation. “

 

 

He assumed I was just like the restbegging 2f the planet and would take what he said as gospel. He had no idea that I was fully aware of what he did with the victim, by deporting him just 2 weeks after he opened his mouth about Gondek.

I have the information in part due to you all bye the way.

As you see, he boldly and pompously wrote me the email – revealing the consequence for Gondek – all the while with full knowledge of the crimes committed. Just another day at the office!

 So Gondek, after molesting 7 boys, and getting so busted that they could not keep him  in the church any longer, was “sentenced” to an early PAID retirement, with a promise to do prayer and penance.

At least that’s what he thinks. As I read his pathetic email, I was also scanning an important document detailing what occurred – names, dates, offenses committed, and a whole lot of ugly detail about what the freak Gondek did to these kids. . Much of it I will never be able to post. You get the idea. ..

I have all the details and am more then willing to lay it all out for the world to see..

 I forgot to tell him that part. Maybe he’s reading it here now!

Their party has to end some time.

I’m hoping  these pedo-priests will soon be pedo-prisoners . See how they enjoy the same treatment they gave the young boys..

Then again they may not mind. The important thing is that they can’t molest and hurt kids anymore when they’re locked up.

 

Since I cannot get the proper attention of media or law enforcement for this pedophile, with proof of at least 7 boys molested-

 Lets Do What We Do Best- Spread The Word!

I am asking each one of you to share, re-blog, send to contacts in high places, in low places, or wherever you see fit. Just get it out. Dont let this die off. Its time for the pedo-priest rings to go down.

 

                  LETS  BLOW IT UP!

Thanks in advance-

tj

 

 

 

   

100% Guarenteed Best Parenting Advice -Period. If You Are A Parent- Read Now. I Doubt You Have Heard This…

 

I don’t recall ever being so bold as to proclaim that I have an answer that every single parent will find invaluable. I am going to put that out there today however. The reason is simple. I personally have lived it, its tried and tested and proven a winner in every venue I have worked in, lived in and taught in. Before I quickly share this, I feel under the circumstances I should at least give you a quick breakdown of my background in this area, so you know I am not blowing smoke from some Dr. Dobson book I just read.

My experience in parenting;

Live in foster parent to over 50 abused, neglected and very troubled teens. For over 4 years I had 6 living with me at a time, for anywhere from 7 to 12 months average. I was responsible to develop individual behavioral plans, treatment goals and teach social skills to each until they were ready to transition back into their home situation. In most cases I worked with the parents of the teens on parenting issues, planning and transition goals for both the parents and the teen.

Certified 4x by Father Flanagan’s Boys and Girls Town as a Family Teacher. I worked in the emergency shelter, group home as mentioned and in both boys and girls homes.

I was hired by the state, specifically the Department of Juvenile Justice to teach parenting to groups, and also lead groups to teens in the system.

I have managed/run several day programs, alternative schools for expelled youth, and while managing one school I was asked to train the entire teacher roster in central Florida on classroom management. Three counties worth, and using a skills and behavior management model that I developed.

The most recent alternative setting I was involved in was for kids who were expelled from public school, sent to the secure treatment facility for violent offenders-then expelled from there. I got them next. Sixty  kids from 8-18- many convicted felons. Gang members, one of which sadly was murdered one night after school near his home by a rival.  Within a year, using my own model for behavior and hiring a staff of 45 then training them, most were saying yes sir and doing well in school. Ready to transition back to public school.

I was nominated for Administrator of the year my first year- for that county. ( I hate awards and recognitions as I am not into it, and I am not in it for that). Nevertheless, my Executive Director made me attend the party at the Hilton Oceanside to announce the winner. I was the 2nd place guy, and the winner was a 20 year county judge who was retiring.

 

I also have 4 of my own. 2 boys -2 girls. Boys are up and out. My older son is in the Army reserves, a sniper/ weapons expert, full-time college student and full time worker as well. He took 30th in the nation out of 30k in 9mm marksmen and since then he has had many doors open, he chose military over law enforcement… ( he said he did not want to arrest his friends… : {  umm wait a minute, should I be worried about that statement, I remember thinking…what are his friends doing??? lol)

My younger son -19 is a professional bull rider and is currently around 20th in the world or so, and the current southern states champion in his circuit. He has made more money in the last year then I have in 10 years. I never made a lot, but when I was 19 I was begging for a 10 spot from my mom…so I am super proud.

My little babies are my heartbeat. 9&5 – I am not at all partial but I think they are at least in the top .0001% of cutest kids around….

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Ok, enough about my experience. It was necessary in this unusual scenario, for credibility but please understand I am not bragging at all. I am an imperfect man who has made far too many major mistakes in my lifetime for my liking.

As matter of fact the advice I am sharing now was birthed out of me being forced as a young dad, to either try to hide my problems and mistakes from my kids, put on the old happy daddy face and pretend I have it all together, or keep it legit, and lay it ALL on the table for my then young boys to absorb and possibly judge me on.

Let me reiterate one thing. There is nothing as a parent, even with the experience, training and degrees that I did long enough and consistently enough to call myself a role model parent and stick my chest out. Quite the contrary actually.  I grew up with a father that actually introduced me to all the WRONG things, and ways at a very early age that cost me many good years. Not blaming anyone for my problems, but sometimes I wish I would have had a decent shot at the starting line. It took, and still is taking me decades to untangle some of the crazy webs that have been woven in my brain since 6-8 years old.

My understanding of the value of women, the importance of choosing words carefully as you cannot “un-hear” -and that little issue of being fed alcohol while barely in double digits then not understanding why I was in withdrawals for many of my high school years really messed me up.

So it doesn’t really matter who caused what, or who is to blame. Kids don’t care. It is what it is to them. What you see is what you get.

Now, I will tell you what I decided. I decided to gamble. I laid it all on the line. Came clean with boys. Depression, addiction, everything. Yes, I felt like a loser at that moment. I would never ever trade it though. Never.

So the heart of the matter is this; You are not perfect. You will, if you have not already take a fall….that can become public to your family at best.. I can attest as the chief of all sinners that there is very little you can do to dance your way around, avoid, disguise, and evade issues that you know very well your kids will find out about or already know. It has NEVER worked in my 22 years as a parent and 25 years in this field.

The very best thing you can do for the respect and trust of your family, is come clean. Sit down and talk about what you are struggling with, what you are worried about, take ownership. Not just that though, you need to share your plans to remedy, and invite them to be a part, if appropriate. In my case, the first time I had a sit down of this type, I shared my on-going struggle with addiction to alcohol, and then revealed my plan to enter into an inpatient program.

That was the best move I ever made. Not only did I have a giant monkey off my back, but somehow my kids respected me more. Because of that dialogue many years ago, we have this open door, no fear deal which allows them to talk to me about anything without judgement, and me to do the same. Nobody can use my past struggles against me anymore because I chose to put it out there myself..

I don’t know who this is for , but it must be important to someone as it has been burning a hole in my soul all night to get posted. You may not have the issues I did, maybe its totally different. It doesn’t matter, because the point of this post is to share a golden parenting tip, a sure fire way to be a winner of a parent. It ain’t by being perfect. Because not one of us is. It is by being transparent.

It takes a real ego check to do. Its difficult at first. Then freeing. 

All the years in all the programs, and schools and group homes I ran that I had such great success with had nothing to do with training, or education. Those things came in handy down the road. However the secret to my success with any kid I have worked with or my own kids, is nothing more then honesty.

I have taken and taught and trained on every possible theory in behavior and parenting. They all have some merit. They also all have one thing in common.

None work effectively, without complete transparency from the adult first. Kids give respect when it is modeled for them. Not forced respect either. Not they are afraid you will yell at them or beat them respect. I mean genuine respect, which unlocks the door for all the parenting books and ideas you want. Until you have that, its like sucking air through a very thin straw..

 

Hope this helps. It works!

 

tj

 

 

 

 

I Supported Their Enemies, Tried To Start A War With Russia On My Way Out And Now I Get Me My Own Medal!

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Ode to myself…By Barry Obama.

I am so proud of myself! Yuk Yuk!

I wonder what it feels like to wear one you earn?

By time my chronies figure out I tried to kill this place me and Michael (and the girls) will be far away with goats galore…

So what if my secret service agent snitches on my little kiddie porn and all. The media is mine! Who cares that my college mates just exposed one of my aliases back in the day and told on me for smoking a little crack.

The media and Hillary will be so focused on the fact that Trump is …..well… RICH.

Keep running with that and my treason filled, kiddie porn, crack smoking muslim brotherhood servant 8 years here will be forgotten in no time! LOL!

American suckers. Some are still backing me! Hahahhahahaha!  Have to admit I did love this American ride.

 

 

 

Every Please -STOP -Listen Up

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TJ- Don’t Label My Kid!- Message to my crew. These Little Ladies Are Mine. Boys are up and out. When I look at them I thank God I even get to hold them. It should not be.

This post is about giving many others a chance to watch their babies grow up. Not many would have made it through what I did, and I believe the purpose for this was to make some changes so others could not suffer through certain things that can kill. So please take this to heart and lets do this thing.  I don’t get to make the plans or set dates, but I am pretty sure this is an appointment we all need to be at.  Thanks for taking a few out to read and do what you can. .. You may make it possible for a guy like me to be smiling down at his little girls like I am here, when he would not have made it before…

You all who have been here for a while already know that as a group some very cool things happen through this blog . Nothing anybody could have planned but just incredible events. Well, fasten your seat belts because here we go again.  Last week I was looking around for just the right people to introduce to all of us as experts in their particular area of service. Lets face it, we are all here because some aspect of our lives are not where we would like them to be. You all have written and been very open about anything from suicidal thoughts to physical disabilities or like me a lifetime of hell with addictions issues.  You remember I started last week our kick off on addiction and invited everyone to invite their families and friends who just didn’t get it. Cool right? I  really want to offer every single person here the treatment they need whether it be PTSD or a fear of dinosaurs.  You know why? Because as many of you may know, treatment in general sucks. It is not at all very successful, and just is a dead-end.  I however, having a great resume on the rehab floor, and also as a social worker have had the answers to why. It’s not too complicated but much is about money. Greed. There are other things too and if I had the funding I would have offered REAL treatment from day one. But, I spent my last million a few years ago . Lol.

Well here is where the weird stuff we get as a group once in a while came in. In the last 3 days there has been an influx all over the media and in the treatment and mental health industry to pour out tons of money to start researching peoples experiences and issues with their failed treatment and actually consider making some changes. Wow! What a coincidence! That’s what we all have been talking about for 4 years. Hmm. Is anyone with me yet? We have the hard data compliments of WordPress. 

So bottom line we are one  of a very tiny group who has the opportunity that we do. That is to ask successful providers to give all of us the services we need and our family and friends too. My job is to find the very best 10  or 15 experts in every area we need to sign on to being here for us. I am talking virtual counseling all the way to 6 month stays out-of-state or country if needed. But that’s not the end. Personally I have been in 3 rehabs since age 23 or so. The first one sucked . The second one was a little better because I got some good drugs from other ” patients” – and the last was fair because  staff let us sneak a pill now and then.

So do we all get why our country is falling apart? The treatment centers and treatment is sub-par and I am being  generous. I went into this field hoping that a day like this would happen. Where we would have the upper hand. It’s here. But 2 things must happen.

1- I have to find and recruit the best of the best in each area we all need.

2 -You all need to share the news   DONT LABEL MY KID!    is a place that ANYONE who needs treatment can come. I will make sure nobody is turned away. That is handled by financial people who can split insurances and get grants or whatever.   If you read what Charles on LinkedIn posted and I reposted here 50 THOUSAND PEOPLE on FACEBOOK alone are looking for  treatment. Not 500. 50k.  Why shouldn’t we be the ones to get the best providers on our team and have them get help through us?  We could start hiring from within for admissions and case management jobs. Everyone of us can play a role in a trailblazing effort.

More importantly we can blaze a new trail of treatment  for outpatient treatment centers so that people with the disease of addiction are treated like people with the disease of addiction. Not losers who don’t care. Do you know how many lives that could save?  This little mystery blog we all met on years ago has already done  more to change major issues than any reporters could. That’s just one case about that priest who molested my brother. That isn’t over yet either.

So if I know you all we can do this and make a name that nobody will forget. For the people needing treatment and by the people needing treatment. It is not about me. It would not be a grand accomplishment if I said look what I did. But if I could share the efforts and input and conditions of all of us and the world saw how it all happened, I have to believe we would see long-term change.

Do you know that even if you can get your loved one into a rehab, the chances of recovery are slim. Embarrassing even. You would think those places would do their jobs right? And most of them do try to rise above the average 35-40% success rate . As a matter of fact the top 10 highest rated programs in the country do in fact boast a considerably higher success rate then the other 90%.

The only difference in their programs ( besides up to 75,000$ higher price tag)  is that some have an extra component to supplement the traditional 12 step method that AA and NA use.  Perhaps even a doctor who himself is a recovered addict. The luxury centers in Florida , California often incorporate yoga, hiking and special fruit diets. Fruits and yoga instructors don’t come cheap. All that said we do have some very effective treatment centers in the USA. I suppose there are also a few Ford Pintos still running too. The point here is not that nobody cares or is trying, but it is to address the reality of the logistics, treatment methods, staffing available and many other factors that together present an epidemic right now as we are currently in a never before seen high rate of overdose deaths from opiates and heroin. Gone are the days of the Andy Griffith sticking Otis in the jail cell until he sobers up. It is dead serious and all over.

This may be the most important post I have ever written as the timing of all this gives us as a group an opportunity to make a dent or even spearhead a new way of thinking when it  comes to treatment.

You all know I don’t keep track of numbers or stats and pay for publicity. The reason 4 years ago I didn’t even consider it was two-fold. First, I have lived the hell of addiction since age 12 due to exceptional parenting by my father.  (NOT).  The point is I know what it is like to want to give up. I know what it feels like to give it everything you got, and have people accuse you of being a slacker who didn’t care about anyone else.  I know what its like to drive home from work excited that I had made up my mind not to drink that night and as my truck passed the ABC liquor store it automatically turned in all by itself.

If you want to talk opiates , or anything else have no fear I have been there too. Mine is addiction depression. Yours may be grief. It may be disease in your body. It does not matter. All can be treated. 

So assuming you have the funding, the open bed, and the right circle of clinicians who are the decision makers  in that tiny percentage of the programs,  you may actually have as high as a 3/4 chance of remaining clean. At least for a year. Now as for the other 90% of programs that do  not have that fruitful, ocean side venue  with the possibility of a real live recovered addict as a role model to help treat them, the sad reality is that maybe 3-4 clients will stay clean for even a year. I personally think it is a horrible hope to stick any struggling addict in a system with results like that. I mean now you may be talking random philosophies of treatment for these citizens who just don’t take their lives seriously, and don’t care about the pain they are causing their families. Snap out of it. Grow up.

At least that’s how I felt when I myself found myself on a cold floor in withdrawals with a tiny mattress to lay on as I vomited and contemplated whether life was worth living. My first program I got lucky because the ” tough love shifter” who marched in like military generals demanding roll call and even exercise while you prayed your heart would not fail seemed to be there as a I began to come out of my life threatening symptoms of opiate and alcohol withdrawal. I remember one nice older lady who used to sneak us an apple or two even just to insure a healthy outcome. She may have known more than we all thought, since the crew I did time with all lasted weeks longer in our sobriety then some others.  That at least gave our families an extra week or two to see us sober. It must have been pure bliss for mom and dad.

Not so much. The next program AA though had a little secret that they were so proud of because it has been around for a century. You see they made it mandatory that we all spent an hour or two each day with al the other failures repeating publicly that we had no control over our situation. Thankfully they had a lifelong open door welcome policy to return after our  ” treatment ” just to remind ourselves of our future -the same as it was that day. If it wasn’t for the hope of making it 30 days or even 60 without using and getting to be presented publicly with a  poker chip  for our good behavior, I may have never had the success I did of well over 3 months sober. Pure heaven.  The only problem was I still felt like I was sick. Like I had well, almost like a real human who was productive  in society  would get, a disease.

Crazy me, here I go back to denial. I sucked it up like you do when you hold your breath.  Until again I had to breath. Now that I look back I am being a little hard on the program, because after my first 30 days of peeing clean, I did get to go into a real public place like the working folk and play pool for an hour with the fellas. Heck the guard that brought us even went out for a smoke break once. It was like we were on parole!

So sure, after a few detox weekends , verbal tongue lashings and contract signings in front of the staff who had never been so disobedient to life as I , I eventually was set FREE! I will never forget walking out of the compound to see my own truck there and more importantly my two young sons. They must have been seen me as a role model. I honestly to this day do not think they ever saw the 20-30 slices up and down my arm to my wrist from trying to figure out how to bleed out while in my hellish withdrawals. I couldn’t even get that right. Nevertheless, I had learned to hold my breath longer now. I was as a clean as a whistle. Never stepped foot into another rehab. It was the darn jail cells that got to me though when I earned my first DUI. I didn’t care for it.

Thank goodness on my 2nd DUI the judge allowed me to check in to a 90 day inpatient program. Heck with good behavior, my superiors at my job an as a clinical social worker would never even know!  This program was much different. I felt like a real human the while time. There was no television or computers. You spent all day working physical labor, the were fed well, but this place didn’t have the walk of shame hour each night. Instead mandatory church.  Oh well, I guess it couldn’t hurt. I knew right away I was never going to score oxy and Vicodin’s like at the Miami place, but hey, I will try.

People that was when I was only 30. It took almost 10 more years to even stay functional. That’s unacceptable. I tried everything. I took the shame and guilt and accusations . You all know. So do you want to let it all go or seize a chance to show the kind of pain uneducated people cause others  cause?

That’s it I am done. I got work to do.

Are you going to do your part?

tj

Note*  To reiterate, I never said that all treatment facilities are useless. What I am saying is due to sheer need, different treatment types, and financial issues, people are dying not living.

I spoke to the Executive Director Of the # 1 best treatment center in the USA last night about this.  Asked his opinion.  He understands the problem.  Lets do this.

Good Morning Mr. President-Sir.

                     And Good Riddence Hussein

You managed to fool some into thinking that you had America and her best interest in mind when you were elected. I had doubts before you were elected, but decided to not judge you because you were a muslim.

But you had to go writing 3 BILLION dollar checks to people who hate us like the muslim brotherhood/ your alumni. You continued to attempt to dismantle piece by piece everything that made this country great. Not a coincidence. Yet you still had your sheeple following just as Hollywood is now. You cannot fix stupid.

For the rest of us, seeing what you have done this month by trying to piss off Russia and put our soldiers at risk – now that is a whole new level nasty stinkin jihad crap.  Its laughable that you ordered yourself a medal of honor right before you try to start a war.

                      You should be executed instantly.

Thank God we now have a real man who is an American and God fearing.

President Trump has forgotten more about life then you and your brotherhood will ever learn combined. He is way ahead of you. It is a shame you got even a tour of our white house, much less pretend to be our leader. Don’t let your prayer cloth hit you on the way out.

 

obama-muslim

 

obamaosama

Obama wild

Goats are awaiting..

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founders

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tj

 

 

 

 

Nobody Has An Easy Life-So Now What?

So its been a very rough road for me in the last decade or two. Many times over did I wonder why the things that were happening were happening-and why those things that were not happening were not. I think everyone goes through that at some stage. It gets worse when you start itemizing the thing that have gone wrong in life.  Our nature is to identify what is wrong with a situation or a person.

If you have kids you understand this. The irony with kids, is we can point out what they are doing wrong all day long and never see any real change in them.  If we began to identify what it is we want to see them doing, than praise them when they are doing it we begin to see change. It’s a long proven fact that negative reinforcement never changes long-term behavior patterns for the good.

Occasionally I will be out at the store or doctors office and overhear people complaining about what they have to live with My immediate  response is to shake my head and wonder how they would deal with what I have on my plate. After all, I grew up with an alcoholic, abusive and violent father who was kind enough to turn me on to alcohol at 13. By the time I was in high school I was a full-blown addict and didn’t know it. The next years it got worse as I had to figure out how to address it. Of course that major depression in the genes did not help. Then my brother and his suicide put another dark cloud over me.

After rehab, 20 different medications or so and trying to make it through college to get into social work, it all got better though….

Not so much. Since then I began a career after college in the field and all but still couldn’t shake the depression and temptation to self medicate. Of course all along even people close to me were starting to judge me as if depression wasn’t real. Meantime I am in the other room trying to figure out how much life insurance I had to leave for my wife and kids. If they only knew. Maybe you know.

After a divorce and the trauma of having to share time to see my little boys it just got worse. I have spent the last 25 years trying to stay one step ahead of addiction and depression and memories of my very abusive childhood. If that is all I had to deal with it would be plenty. Fast forward years and after remarrying I have two little girls to feed. I once again pursue the best work in my field to provide for them and enjoy real living. Just a few years into this, I was out of the blue diagnosed with a rare bone disease called AVN or Avascular Necrosis. Bone death in Greek. In the right hip and doctor says my hip is gone and I need immediate total hip replacement.

Huh? I am 45. I workout. I have kids. I have to work. What do you mean hip replacement? He assured me I would be up and back to work in a couple of months. He as well said a few years. I don’t have money to pay up all bills for that time. However I had no choice. Without the ugly and long version, the doctor and hospital decided I was the perfect candidate to do the surgery live on the web, moderated by 5 other surgeons. I guess to show the world how great they were at surgery. It turned out to be the biggest nightmare of my life. The hip failed 13 months later and began just falling off.. Dropping out  socket. After this paralyzing event occurred 2x and I was taken by ambulance to the ER to have it jammed back in place, I called the doctor repeatedly but oddly Even enough no call back.

Short version, he acted as if he didn’t know me, rather than associate his world-wide debut on the internet with failure. I went on to have a world record 11 dislocations in 11 weeks. No help from doctor. Actually it became such a well-known story that some didn’t believe it was true. To this day it’s up on Dr. Earl Stevens website New Zealand. It’s at earlsview.com then just search Tim’s horror story.  So thanks to the good doctor , I had my 7th hip surgery just  1 year ago. Lost everything we owned. No home, nothing. Turned down 2x for disability because I am ” too well-educated”  which is against the law.

I have had 2 total hip replacements, a revision, bone grafts, core decompression, my jaw bone shaved and then those 11 dislocations. I am tired. I am broke. I wonder why.  Just one break is all I need. I deserve disability. I paid in for 20 years. My failed hip has been in a lawsuit with 8000 others and they recently awarded the first 10 people 80 million each for their suffering but before I got excited my attorney said they might fight my case.

What? Fight my case but why?  I don’t ask anymore. That’s how my life is.

So I told you those little tidbits which represents about 25% of my major issues so you know I am not blowing smoke. I have come to realize that I am not in control here. God had allowed this for His purposes, and there is no fighting that because He did allow it. Next I turn to His word and seek out how exactly I am to deal. First it was clear I am not the first to have trials.

  • 1 Peter 1 6-7Explains what trials produce in us.
  • Romans 8:28 Is a promise that God will work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
  • Hebrews 11 ( The hall of faith) – Describes how we are not to go by feelings or emotions, what we see or think. We walk by faith not by sight.

It is these things I have had to hold on to. It is very hard in today’s world because every single thing that happens in this world today is against what works according to Gods word. The world tries to talk us out of our faith every day. If you are not renewing your mind in real truth each day from Scriptures you will buy the lies of world.

  • (By the way all my atheist, Buddhist, agnostic, and universe worshippers you know the routine, just skip that bible part if it offends you. I am telling my story and for me its critical. No offense.)
  • Does any of this take away the pain? No. I have pain. I also have peace. Peace is the difference between panicking in trials and standing firm through them.
  • Anyways yesterday something else took my mind off of all my problems. I still have 2 kids at home. Girls. My little baby girl had to have surgery in her gums at the hospital .I could not be there so my family sent me a picture of her before and after. She is 5. These 2 pictures made me forget about some things and remember again what is important. I thought I would share them. It moved me for some reason to see her happy, and even though not really awake from surgery yet, she was safe.
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I don’t know what your situation is. Maybe harder than mine. Remember, you have a reason to be where you are. You dont get to know all the details.

  • Here is the deal. Money comes and goes, jobs come and go, health comes and goes. Relationships come and go. Kids come and go. Feelings come and go. If you put your security in any of those you have just strapped yourself onto the roller coaster of a lifetime.

 

  • God  is the same yesterday, today and forever and His word will never ever return void. I like that..

In he meantime grab who you can that you love. Focus on things you are good at. Start training that brain to catch the positive things about your life and you. It works.

tj