I want to welcome all the new followers to the Don’t Label My Kid! Family! I have been been wanting to give a shout to new members of this family. I think you will find something unique here. We discuss many issues here, many of them are sensitive in nature. I want all of you to know that you can trust people in here with your personal stories, questions and comments. We are not always serious in here either! We understand that talking about depression, addiction, and abuse issues can become heavy, so we mix in some humor too.
The Don’t Label My Kid! site covers many topics, about life in general and the things we live through.We have published over 1300 posts in 35 -40 different categories and have followers in 150 countries. Our goal in the last 4 years has been to to provide mental health, addiction, abuse, parenting and many other coaching and counseling services to anyone who has not had effective care in the past or not had any help at all.
We have assembled over time a team of people who have the best hearts and minds, along with educations we could to be at your disposal . If you go to the homepage you will see drop down menu in the top left corner with each of our names along with a bio for each of us to let you know a little about our background. Together we bring over 100 years of direct experience to the table and 4 websites that we each maintain as resources for you. Here is a group pic.
I am very excited that in just a few days I will introduce our 5th team member who brings a successful blog, a huge podcast following , a radio show and much more to team to offer a specialize service for all women. Stay tuned ladies you will want to join her awesome programs!
Every once in awhile I take a few hours and read through hundreds, actually thousands of comments we have received over the years. One of the things that always stands out to me is the level of trust you all put in is as evidenced by the personal nature of many of your questions or comments. This type of relationship is the kind that brings real change between coach/therapist and the person seeking help.
So with that, I welcome you all to this family and encourage you to reach out to the great people who follow this site!
With all the garbage we hear at doctors offices from that fantasy book known as the DSM – it would do us some good to learn about non- fantasy issues with our health in general .Look into some reality based concerns about the food we eat and how it can actually cause things like depression and anxiety.
Desperation and insecurity. These are terms that describe people who feel the need to let others know about any connections to famous people they may have.
It would be easy for any of us to reach into our bag- o -tricks and drop some connection we have. But what really is to gain from it?
I don’t know but after my latest Linkedin connection I sure am going to find out!
No haters please!
Usually it’s Tom Petty or Switchfoot I put up as a recent song that was powerful to me. This month its an unlikely pair when it comes to music styles. Blake Shelton who is 100% country and self proclaimed redneck paired with glitz and glam New York style’s Christina Aguilera. I have no idea how I stumbled across it but when I saw those two holding microphones next to each other I knew Christina was not about to jump into a chew tobacco tune with Blake. I have to admit the first time I watched them sing it, the word powerful came to mind. It could be just me, but I doubt it. Check it out by clicking on the link above!
(Please read post before clicking on above link)
Here it is …
I finally could not contain myself. After 1000+ posts I have refrained from actually giving big pharma the undeserved attention that makes them billions of dollars annually. However after five years and much desire – I have succumb to the urge to actually help the public to listen to the “fine print” in drug ads. If I was a buddhist I would call big pharma -bad karma.
The only people who really need to watch this are living breathing humans who have ever been to or plan to be treated by a doctor. Everyone else is excused.
If this were a newspaper ad the last part would what they call the ” fine print” but in this case someone is reading it to you.. I really want you, for your own health, whether a cancer patient or not to click this and listen to the commercial for a new cancer drug.
With all your faculties listen from second one with the opening sad story but happy ending (seemingly) and then listen VERY CAREFULLY as they transition into the deadly side effects! If you take the time to actually listen to the commercial and hear the words they are speaking, you would likely run like you know what before ever taking this even if it was FREE!
Meanwhile for almost 40 years our very own team member Mike Carey has been helping people get rid of diseases in a matter of weeks! All naturally! Of course not every single disease can just go away but what do you think the rest of the world besides us are doing? Healing with natiural agents like Mike. If you or someone you love needs help in this way, go to his sight and message him for help-
alternativesolutions4health.com – in some cases it’s life or death-literally. Dont delay.
This, ladies and gentleman is a very short summary in the form of a commercial of why we are where we are in American healthcare. Why you ask? Because we are the only country in THE ENTIRE WORLD dumb enough to allow drug makers to advertise on television. It takes advantage of and gives false hopes to an already downtrodden crowd grasping for a little hope by putting bringing false hope and manipulating desperate minds. I say prison, not cash is what these companies deserve.
This is the real deal folks. It just does not get any more plain to see than this. This is a major part of why Don’t Label My Kid! was created-to start telling the truth and giving actual successful alternatives for healing when possible.
After the Now, please watch for yourself and see how you feel after the quick voices spew out the REAL truth at the end….shameful.
The actual list of possible terrible side effects ( if I timed it close) takes longer to list and are much more severe than the benefits. Note
One example near the end is that a possible side effect includes DEATH! Sign me up!
Two pictures. One is a picture of a very familiar post to any Florida beachgoers with the exception of certain regions. Without going into detail, the sign warns people who drive in beach sand past a certain point that they may be fined and/or imprisoned if they are caught. If you are unaware, the sea turtles have much power on Florida beaches. Power which prohibit s beach front residents from even turning on their porch lights if they shed light on the beach. This is to protect the nesting habits and confusing of sea turtles during their season. People who consider themselves to be turtle activists actually have been known to lay down in front if moving vehicles on the beach rather than see a turtle egg crushed.
Lay down, like your physical body on the sand. In the way of vehicles that weigh maybe 2000lbs. ( See below ).
Suppose I was to go out one night with 20 high beam flashlights and start chucking sea turtle eggs against the condo walls. Then get into my truck and drop it into 4-Wheel Drive to kick up the nests I couldn’t get to.
Do you have any idea what would happen to me? Besides the real possibility of 5 years in prison, the total irreparable damage to my reputation and fines, I would probably need police protection from some of these lovers of the loggerheads.
Skip to next photo. In this scenario we the people pay millions of dollars of tax money annually to places like Planned Parenthood. Of course they are quick to point out that these include rape victims, and cases where the mother could lose her life.
What they don’t care to share is that those cases represent only 1-3% of all abortions. So the other 95+ % of abortions we pay for are for non life threatening abortions.
By the way if you have different figures please do step forward and give your numbers. Who knows I could be way off . Maybe only 85% of non life threatening abortions are paid for by the public.
Would it matter?
Then I would have to start laying out numbers of how much the ” fetus” parts go for on the black market. God only knows who would get their jollies by being the proud owner of 2 baby eyeballs. Maybe toes are your thing. Whatever the case if you wanna go let’s go big and lay out the entire picture. I’m anticipating about , well let me think – Zero responses. I will publish every one unless you request otherwise.
In closing I want to make sure that my point is about truthful statistics, honesty in reporting , and perhaps some long needed accountability.
It is in no way a judgement or intended to accuse anyone of sinning any worse than someone else. I am not the judge or the on that. Consult Pastor Matt on that ! He is the resident spiritual advisor. I am the chief of all sinners and if not for the blood of Jesus Christ there I go straight to hell.
But hey- There is a time when somoene has to man up and say what is really happening. Before you even think of judging me, know this- I am the proud owner of a turtle that I got for my daughter several years ago. That right, I love me some turtle too. No hater emails please.
Let’s call a spade a spade. If it bothers anyone to talk about baby legs going for 1k$ on the black market then let’s figure out why it bothers us, but don’t pee on me and tell me it’s raining. I’m soaked already..Peace
When Dr John DeGarmo contacted me about possibly contributing a piece for his upcoming December Blog Posting, I was without words. It’s not often you get an invitation from the guru of your trade to actually share your expertise. With more accolades and accomplishments in the Foster Care field than anyone I have known, I was caught off guard to say the least. I can honestly say that Dr. John and his wife are the only couple I know of who have had more foster kids live with them than I.
I have had 45! To be asked to give my opinion on an issue that is constantly under scrutiny by state and federal regulators was very satisfying and meant a lot to me.
I am glad to share both a proud moment of his – him and his wife being recognized by none other than Good Morning America and a very proud moment for myself, being honored as the guest poster on his incredible blog. First watch the clip below of GMA rightfully recognizing Dr. John’s work, and then please take a moment to read my first published post on his website. I am looking forward to working with Dr. Degarmo on future endeavors to keep the voice of children in need of parents alive..
Visit Dr DeGarmos Site- http://www.drjohndegarmofostercare.com/
Shop his store for a variety of his books, training materials, and look into his many webinars. He is also available for Foster Parent Coaching, and a myriad of consultative needs as well as conference leader/ keynote speaker at your next conference or gathering, The DeGarmos are trailblazers and their message needs to be heard!
All4uraddiction.com is the online magazine that our newest Don’t Label My Kid! team member Jenny Clark founded. Please click below and check out all the great addiction resources and make sure to join over 10k others and subscribe now!
While Pastor Matt brings extensive pastoral, counseling and blog writing experience to the team, and Mike Carey his own incredible natural recipes for ridding the body of diseases like liver cancer and Hep. C. , Jenny Clark also has her own brand of service and we are super excited to add her to the list of professionals who make this team of resources up. Read about her experience with addictions and other professional milestones by clicking the blue link at the bottom and make sure once in the magazine to subscribe for your emailed version quarterly.
As we all know many of us and our following are specifically here for the addictions piece and posts we have on a regular basis. We want to continue to build our resource base for those of you who are addicts, have loved ones or friends who are, or are in groups at church like recovery groups etc. Jenny’s magazine adds a wealth of resources and options for those struggling including programs and service cater to addicts.
Please post her link on you site if you write about addiction so others can take advantage of this awesome resource. We welcome Jenny and have plans to expand our services for addicts even more as we are able. Podcasts, seminars and lots of other options are being looked at so we can really be a very effective resource for those suffering from the disease of addiction.
By the way If anyone ever approaches you about this site and says ” Is Don’t Label My Kid! A site for kids? Addicts? Parenting? Spiritual guidance? Teen behaviors? Or mental health, here is your answer below….
We are about the family. The family is made up of mental health issues, parenting issues, addictions issues, health and nutritional issues, behavioral issues with teens and children, death, grief, suicide, abuse and much more. Here at Don’t Label My Kid! we aim to be a one stop shop for all things family and all the things I mentioned and more. The team you see on the menu on the homepage is not here by accident.
Our goal is to have the very best of the best people with credentials and experience that will serve to make a difference in your life as issues come up. Pastor Matt is a guy with 3 degrees in counseling and religion related studies who has a heart for people who have been hurt by the church ( and who has not in the time we are in?) and focuses on writing for his blog and this blog as well as pastors a church that he started!
You know about my background in social work, mental health and addictions.
Mike Carey at alternativesolutions4health.com is our resident nutritional expert who has quite the track record of 38 years of assisting people who are very sick with disease, rid their bodies of the actual disease, not just treat symptoms. Many times in a week or two. His success rate is 98%. Together we have 100+ years experience . Our long-term goal is to take this thing a step further and make our team members available for virtual counseling and coaching on any of the issues we address–worldwide. You may not realize this but we have followers from 148 countries and guess what? They have the same problems we do. So building out this site to support us doing this is a big deal. We believe it will happen and now that our team has rounded out so nicely we can focus more on doing that.
Just to clarify, we have been providing consulting and counseling services on any of the issues I have discussed above. However it is done mainly via email, Skype and the phone. So you can still get help for whatever your issues are just not through a virtual site yet.
Email or call me to set up services of any kind.
We all believe we were put here for a reason. We also believe that each of you is here for a reason. Our job is to help others with the training and life experiences we have had in the areas we operate in. Don’t deprive your own family or another of getting some healing and help. Remember you do not know how many times they may have called out to others or God for help. If you are the vessel chosen to share the hope and help of this service with them, do your duty and sleep well tonite.
If need be we work with you financially according to your ability to repay and I guarantee it is always much less than traditional rates of you go into an office and pay 125-200$/ Hr for sessions and 300$ for assessments. If you need help and you are not getting it then it is your own fault because we don’t charge those rates and we work with you if you are going through a difficult time. Never let your family health suffer over money. That is one of the reasons we are here!
Everyone has friends, neighbors or loved ones who are desperately seeking or at least needing help on one of the areas we help with. If they do not know about our services than SHAME on YOU!
Let your loved ones and friends know they can get help at a place where they will not be turned away or judged in a 100% confidential setting. For the record we do NOT report to anyone about our client’s mental or behavioral issues so unlike an office and a doctor, who is required to inform people of diagnoses under certain circumstances we do not reveal to anyone your personal history. Many times a doctor’s office will be required to report certain illnesses to your employer or others you really do not need in your business. We do not discuss your situation with anyone unless you ask us to, like if you have a court situation where you have to prove you got help with anger management or counseling for addiction and all, we count.
What happens at Don’t Label My Kid!- Stays at Don’t Label Kid!
Now take some time to browse All4uraddicton the magazine. You will be amazed !
Have a blessed day and please remember right now to make the call to anyone you know who needs help and for whatever reason is not getting it. You never know what you may be preventing. Many people today are just one cut down away from hurting themselves.
The Holidays are a terrible time statically for suicide and depression. If you are aware of anyone who is suffering-don’t make them go through another year alone. Tell them about us. Many times the only thing stopping a person who needs help from getting help is the lack of support or encouragement to make the call, or in some cases, I have made the call for others who just needed a boost to get help.
Here is the magazine for you to browse and become familiar with-again subscibe so you will get each edition.
The last few times I have been out with my little baby girls who are not grown yet, just 5 & 10 years old, I have had constant thoughts about the power of the father daughter relationship and I wonder how I am really doing to build that foundation with my own daughters and how they will feel about us when they are grown. My boys are now 20 and 23 so those days are long over. I know where I stand and what I did right and where I came up short. Even so , those are boys. That is a whole different animal. The boys are more resilient when it comes to our relationship. Not quite as sensitive about mistakes I have made and seem to be able to focus on good times and remember what was really strong about our relationship and still is.
For example even with all my mistakes and problems when my boys were little, I still am very happy with how our relationship is today. They had to witness some not so pretty times in my life. The tail end of my treatment for addiction was occurring right in front of their eyes. They had to go through a divorce as toddlers those horrible times when I am dropping them off at mom’s house and they grab my ankle tight and scream ” I don’t want you to go” with fountains of tears pouring out of their little eyes. I remember more tear filled drives home alone during those times then not. I had to decide what I was going to do about the situation to try to preserve our future. The last thing I wanted was for them to get older and have their mom start rambling on about what a failure and addict I was when they were little.
So in that case I decided that there were two things I could do to minimize the potential for that since I could not erase the truth.The first thing I decided to do was as soon as they were old enough to understand I sat them down for a family meeting, just us. I poured out all the dirt. I told them of my struggles, how I was dealing with it and even the consequences I had suffered as a result the problems. I did not sugar coat anything but took full responsibility for it all.
It did not make anything go away, but looking back I was teaching them a valuable lesson about ownership, about humility and most of all about forgiveness. There were times they heard and saw things that a 4 year and 6-year-old should not see. After owning it all I asked them for forgiveness, and told them what my plan of action was to try to prevent that from occurring again. To my surprise the response was better than I thought. I felt and still feel a sense of respect that I earned from them, more so now that they are older for coming clean and owning my own behavior.
I still wish they did not have to see me like I was at my lowest going to rehab and all that jazz. I was a sight for sore eyes. However I will say that to this day neither of them has ever brought it up or tried to use it against me. Better yet their mother could not do that either. I spoiled her plan to talk bad about me the rest of their lives, by talking bad about myself first. That took the wind out of her sails for that plan anyhow. The other thing I decided to do after the asking for forgiveness, was I decided to insert something unique, like a special thing that was just between us to replace the negative. I just wanted them to love me and know how very ,much I loved them.
I began making a point of doing something I never experienced as a child, something to reassure them of my love for them even during the trials they had been through. I decide to go against the ” man grain” and be a super affectionate dad, and made a vow that every time I saw them or left them I would hug them, kiss them, and make them look me in the eye as I told them I loved them. All through middle and high school that’s how it was. I was not obnoxious about, you should know.
I did not cramp their style or embarrass them in front of their friends, I acted in a way that was appropriate for their ages. Instead of a full body hug and big kiss on the cheek in high school we had “code” for our ” I love You’s ” and our giant hugs.
In high school when I was around their friends or dropping them off at an event where kids could hear and see, we had this kind of standing half- hug- half body bump thing that basketball players were doing all the time to take the place of me on my knees with my arms wrapped around them hugging them. lol.
The ” I love you” became ” you too” . So when we were leaving each other there was a body bump and a “me too”. To my great pleasure as they got older and out of high school our communicating that we loved each other did not fade, it got stronger. To this day every single time I talk to the boys on the phone we say the words. No matter where they are, out-of-state for the military, or my youngest son may be in any of the 50 states at any given time due to his career as a professional rodeo bull rider, at the conclusion of our call they always say ” Ok love you” before they hang up. Always. It may not seem like a big deal but believe me after sitting across the table years before pouring my shame and problems out to them, I was not sure if they would want to even claim me as their dad.
Oh How Things Change With Girls!
So I have these two little girls you know . I love them so very much and they are sweet girls. They are so agreeable with almost everything I say. I mean just the other day my 10-year-old agreed via a ” Pinky Promise” that there will be ” No dates til 28!” What a sweetheart. I know she will stick to it too. I mean we all know little girls do not lie. Especially to their daddy. I am so relieved that I do not have to start going out on dates with her and any boy until she is 28! What a peace of mind to know that..
So with the girls it is a different scenario because they are so very different then the boys. So very sensitive and so open to hurt in their heart. Ever since those girls were born into this world I have felt like those two are my actual heart , divided in two pieces in the form of a couple little girls. Everything that happens to them happens to me. Every time they feel pain, I do too. I try to avoid any extra pain for them as much as possible.
Lets just say it is a whole lot different then when the boys were young, they would almost weekly walk in the door from school or playing outside with a new injury. Sprained ankles, chipped teeth , I recall Jesse with two nose breaks before second grade. It never ended. I can picture hearing one of them yell from their room;
” Dad, my ankle is purple and swollen like 2x normal size and my little toe is broke”
My response? ” There is some ice in the cooler, did you do your homework yet?”
And Life With Girls Now….
Not so much with my girls. The other day after school my oldest was eating a sandwich and I guess she accidentally put a little pepper or onion or something she normally does not eat on it. Not knowing this I walked by the table and noticed her eyes were red so I stopped to find out what was going on.
But then when I noticed a tear drop coming from my angel’s eye I lost it…
I was like ” Emily what is it just tell me, did some boy at school say something to you?
Just give me his name honey don’t you worry that pretty little face .. I’ll teach someone what its like when you make my daughter cry!
It did occur to me a little later that my responses to my sons back in the day varied slightly from how it goes with my daughter.
So yes there are major differences in the way dads react and think of the different ways of boys and girls. Even so I still carried on the tradition of the hug and kiss and ” I love you” each time we part ways and I will tell you this, If I forget once to say It as we part ways, my 10 year old will call me out on it. She does this by repeating what I should have said until I catch on and actually say it..like this
” umm dad? I love you Emmy” then repeat and repeat until I say ” I love you Emmy” . You know what? I am proud that she reminds me. It means it means something to her. Something I started as a parent is actually turning out good! Even in the midst of storms and trials little things like making sure you have told your children you love them is so critical. it just does not happen enough , at least in my world.
Now before you think I am some kind of monster by the way I blew my son’s sprained ankle off but wa so concerned about my daughter’s tear-you should know a few things before you start accusing me of favoritism with my sweet angels over the boys.
1- When I realized Jesse’s ankle was truly sprained or broke, I personally got him ice. Also, I gave him an extra day to wash my truck as that was his day to do it. So you see I have a soft heart for all.
2, You did not see just how BIG of a tear was coming from Emily’s eye. You would have panicked too. Honestly if it was not for me taking her for ice cream and finishing her homework for her that night, she told me herself she would still be bawling! I had to do something.
Well, at least they all say they love me. That is worth it all.
So as I end this I want to share a thought I had a month or so ago during of those times I was just sitting at the park watching the girls play. It has not left me and I think I am going to do this not only for my children but possibly offer it as a service to families down the road who just like the idea. It is likely something you will immediately gravitate towards, or you may just shrug your shoulders and feel like ” whatever floats your boat” ….
I truly think this idea would and could change and help a lot of people when the time comes in our lives when we will be forced to leave our children on this earth as we age out and expire into eternity. I know that I am for sure going to do it for my kids.
Over the years in my work, I have been involved in my share of family tragedies and deaths of parents, some just were old and died and some taken suddenly. The one thing I notice that is always present during these times is families talking to the siblings about how much their mom or dad loved them and cared about them. Sadly, I have sensed doubt in eyes of the children sometimes who left the last time with dad on bad terms, or maybe it just seemed like daddy like the older brother better so the younger sibling lives his life believing he was 2nd best son to his father.
Worse yet on occasion a sudden death of the father in the family will occur tight in the middle of a huge argument between two sides of the family and they are not on speaking terms. I have seen more than not at funerals or get together after a death children thinking back to their childhood days trying to think of some good thing to say about how much pop loved all the kids, as evidenced by the time he _______________ ( you fill in the blank)
The problem is often there just are not a lot of good memories fresh on your mind when an older man like a dad dies. Perhaps like my grandfather who loved me dearly and took me everywhere all the time while he was well, things changed a bit when illness set in. With Alzheimer’s or any sickness the elderly suffer from near end of life, you may hear your beloved father look you in the eye and tell you he has always thought of you as a jackass your entire life! What then?
Or as the daughter is trying to have a last conversaation with daddy in the nursing home before he passes away, maybe he will look at her and tell her she is a no good whore. That she only got married because she got ” Knocked up”!
You think I exaggerate? I am likely making light of the situaiton. In almost every single nursing home around the world, there are dads who are on their way out who have all nbut lost their minds. During the sibling last month seeing him alive they are more likely to hear what a dissappointment they have been or be cursed at than be told hwo much they are loved. So considering all these points and also considering what my girls would be thinking if I was taken to heaven suddenly? Howcan I be sure they will remember hjow proud I am of them and of their accomplishemnts? I cannot. But I could!
So here is the idea I am considering with a partner. We think it would be really neat if dads, or moms could call us up when they are in their golden years or maybe in some cases when their health is going south and they can make sure that when they can no longer express their love for their children and other loved ones ( or in my case just in case something happened to me unexpectedly) .
We believe that children especially at anby age would benefit in a huge way after losing a parent to click a cd of their mom or dad telling them of their love for them and reminding them of some of the special times they had and try to encourage the family to remember the good stuff instead of only going through the mourning process with not much positive going on in that process. One neat feature is that we would get all the contact information of the immediate family when we made the tape and ask the persons social worker, caregiver, pastor , or others to make us aware when a condition worsens for a patient, so we can be ready to share the tape with the family at just time.
Usually, as in the movie The Ultimate Gift with James Garner, any tapes after death are about wills and momey or who gets what. This often makes things even worse during an already sad time. For people like myself who just want my kids to be able to hear my voice and see my face again if something happened to me while I was young, this could be an even more powerful tool. When a child loses a parent unexpectedly there is an emotional and physical loss that is tremendous. No more tucking in or night time hugs or taking them to school or contact period.
To be able to put the tape in every day if need be for awhile for a 10 year old would be a huge comfort. To hear the same words in the same voice from your daddy telling you how proud he is and how much he loves them. In the cases of Christians the parent would emphasize the fact that eternity is awaiting all of them and eternity together is the long term plan. The hope something like this could provide a child wouldl be very helpful in my opinion. We all have seen people who have lost a loved one go and try and find something, anything to hold that reminds them of the loved one who died. That is evidence that there is a desire to be close and to be near to that loved one. What better way than to hear directly fromt them?
Anyhow, If anyone has any interest on being involved from a business stamdpoint, I would be open to talking to a private businessman or woman who would like to partner with me on this as I have several other responsibilities including the entire team at Dont Label My Kid! and all the projects we are working on, the blogs and magazine and all that needs continous effort that goes into these things.
I dont need any contacts for dispensing the product and getting the word out as I am connected to hundreds of nursing and retirement homes where much of this would be focused on. I would be interested strictly in a partner as a silent partner / investor.
I hope you all consider what your childrens needs would be if something were to happen to you. As parents I know you would do anything to ease their pain. I know it is not pleasent to think about but it is reality. We are not promised tomorrow .
Look at it like fire insurance, you have to get it but hope you never need it.
Send any inquiries or feedback to email@example.com and if you are interested in partnering with usin the way I mentioned, you can call me on my cell at 386-675-7549.
God Bless everyone- Have a great week!
I have always been fascinated with finding out why people believe the things they do. Working as a behaviorist only made that desire to know stronger because I got to learn so much about why we do and say and believe the things we do. It amazes me even still 20 years later how a sa society we just ” assume ‘ that whatever we hear or see on television or in the paper is gospel truth. How far from the truth that really is. Actually we likely are being played most of the time we read or see something in the media, which is known as ” spin”.
However here now I am talking about things we personally have adopted as truth. For example if you have followed me for any time and read my home page about mental health and the DSM with all of its ” disorders” you know that even though that book all the doctors use to diagnose us with disorders and medicate us is called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Health disorders, there is not 1 single statistic in it!
Every single ” disorder” in there was made up by a group of doctors who get together every 4-5 years and just make new ones up, then take a vote to see if it should be added or not the DSM. Its 100% theory. Not a scientific fact for any mental health disorder in there. Now that you know that, how might you feelings change when you take little Jimmy to the psychiatrist and the doctor says he has ” intermittent explosive disorder” and “anti-social personality disorder”- and writes him for an anti-psychotic drug? It happens by the thousands each day. How many parents do you think question the whole thing, or bring up the fact that they are all blind guesses anyhow? Not too many. They do not know. Unless someone like me ( who they like none too much) puts it out there for the public to see the average person just assumes that if a doctor said it is real, it must be.
Actually just the other day this older lady approached me and asked ” Do you think Bi-polar can go away? ”
I looked at her shakng my head and said ” I dont know ma’am , Im not even sure when it got here”.
I am not focusing on mental health now though. Take almost anything we do , habits or whatever, they came from somewhere. I tell the story of a young bride who was cooking up Easter dinner with her mom one year. The mom took a big knife and cut the end of the ham bone clean off. So the daughter says, ” why did you do that”? Mom looks at her funny and says ” Oh I don’t know honey that is just how we have always cooked our ham and it’s always good” ! So a few minutes later the mom cannot shake that question so she picks up the phone and calls her mom. She asks her mom why they cut the ham bone off the ham before cooking it. The grandmother says ” Oh honey how do I know it must have been part of a recipe or something”. Now both the daughter and mother are even more curious, so they decided to call the great-grandmother and ask her. They get her on the line and ask her too, ” Granny why is it for 60 years we cut the ham bone off the ham each year at Easter before cooking it?”
The great granny pauses and says ” Honey I don’t know why y’all are cutting the bone. We cut the bone because our pan was too small to hold it.
A few years ago I was approached by a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses outside of a grocery store. As dedicated as ever, they politely asked if they could share their message with me. I said sure and let them go through what they had been trained to say over at the kingdom hall. When they got near the grand finale they reminded me that the bible actually says in Revelations that only 144,000 people will be going to heaven. Next they offered me a spot, if I became a Jehovah’s Witness. So I looked at them and said, ” can you tell me what year the Jehovah’s Witness religion was founded? They glanced at each other than took a quick peek at their notes. The first guy said ” yes sir, around 1850″. I said ” Ok, but let me ask you, did all the millions and millions of people who were long gone before 1850 go to hell? Not a one was a JW.”
They had not got the training on that one so they quickly mounted the shiny bikes and headed for an easier target. The point is these guys were sincerely trying to do good and make a difference but had no clue as to why they were saying what they were saying.
This happens in our lives each day and we all fall for it at some point in our lives. When is it time we do our own research and homework? Maybe our way of thinking is kind of like the ham bone story. Or maybe we are 100% set in our beliefs on something that we truly only believe because grandpa told us.
Sometimes the issues are harmless like the ham bone, and it’s really not a big deal if we are a little off . On the other hand , some of what we profess may have consequences here on earth, or worse yet eternally. I highly recommend knowing why you believe what you believe When it’s all said and done, there are some things we will not be able to blame on granny or grandpa when we should have done the research as adults. Some things we should be very sure we know that we know that we know we have the truth. What are those things in your life?
Things have really changed in this world in the last few decades. Can you imagine the look on Howard Cosell’s face if someone shared an update about Ms. Jenner and OJ?
When it comes time to intervention in your life or your children’s life, it is not something to take lightly. It’s not like going to a grocery store and decided afterwords you want to go to several more stores before buying. All mental health workers from therapists to doctors are trained in their particular flavor of how to find something wrong with you. This is how they get paid. Go to a psychiatry office you will walk out with a script and a diagnoses. The odds are better than not that you will leave with a new label of some source that like it or not will attach itself to you for life.
Go to a psychologist and you will likely get some reason that you need to come 1-2x per week to get to” what is underneath all this” and spend a ton of money to lay on a couch or sit in a chair for a long time to be reminded of how miserable your life was/is.
Go to a behaviorist like myself and you will likely get a plan of action using behavioral techniques and rewards to attempt at changing behavior. You always go to the least restrictive first. In this case the behaviorist. You NEVER want to have you or your child locked up or labeled for life because you didn’t do your homework. If you have not read my homepage, go back now and read it to get an understanding of how the system works. You may be quite surprised. The main page article called “Mental Health Is Driving Me Crazy” is the post to read or this may not make as much sense. I promise you won’t regret it.
I have spent more than 20 years of my life working with troubled kids, teens and their parents in every possible demographic. I have not only been a part of the professional team but was fortunate to move up quickly in 9/10 companies. After spending many years on the front lines and just as many in management, I was blessed to be asked to start a school in Florida for expelled felons. These students had not only been expelled from public school, but then got themselves kicked out of the alternative school where kids must go if they get expelled from public school.
I was asked if I could do anything to help them and I knew with my Boys Town training and my hands on experience I could do it. I did and I won awards and all . But the most important task I had to train our teachers was to catch the kids doing something right all day each day instead of a day full criticism at an already over medicated and tired group
I named this blog over four years ago Don’t Label My Kid! for a reason. It was not just a cute title to me. It was symbolic of what clearly is one of the top issues we need to addressed, labeling people in general.
Over the next 4 years I targeted a certain audience to reach. Those are families in need of assistance but many times have no clue what to do. Usually they see a television show with guests that have all got the same disorder Parents look to neighbors, friends and sometimes strangers for feedback on how to cope and deal with the problems they have with their teens.
Many parents could not explain the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist much less figure out on their own whuch to see. Parents and their kids just going whichever way the wind blows. Whatever place the therapist or teacher told them to go not considering the permanent label and scar it could leave. Its just blindly leading people to their own slaughter. Dont be a part of your own child’s social demize. Let us help develop a family plan of action. We offer hourly rates that are much less than you would pay in an office as we dont have the overhead of buidlings etc.. We will work with you from beginning to end. All you need to do to get on the road to recovery for your family is look at menu of our team and determine who will best suit your needs. Then contact us asap before the damage gets too bad.
Having been in and around the circles of addiction, depression and all behavioral and mental health issues in my career allowed me to understand the nuances and many differences between the way one doctor does things compared to another.
Now is the time to act when they are under 13 or 14 although it is still workable at 18 if they are willing. Children as young as 8 years old are being drugged today, dont let this be the case with your loved ones.
Here is the point of this little post. Don’t pretend there is no issue. Address all the issues as directed by someone who actually has worked and lived it and has education as well.
Don’t try this at home people. Its above anyone’s head who has not been trained extensively on the topic. This is why we have a team with Dont Label My Kid! A team that has 100+ years combined experience in all areas from addiction to behavioral health to spiritual guidance, natural healing and all things mental health. Leave this part to the professionals in this field who have also raised our own kids., or you risk being a willing part in labeling your own child for life.
Discuss your options today for coaching, consulting and anything else you see on our front page menu.
Read Pastor Matt’s bio, as well as Jenny, Mike and Mine to see who would who of us could best help then lets started. You know what they say about the definition of crazy is right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Contact me -firstname.lastname@example.org or in emergency 386-675-7549