Job Or Calling ? Which Are You Doing?

A few years ago when I was entering my ” pre-mid life crisis, I took some time to review my entire time in the workforce. Every job I’ve ever done and how long I was at each. I also looked back at which I loved and which I hated.

To my surprise, what I thought would be a long and tedious task, turned out to be like an instant revelation from heaven. It was as if I got to peek down into my life forward to backward and backward to forward. I got a view from above about something that to this day I have shared with many people feeling burned out, bored, and just plain over their current situation.

The answer to why some people love what they do and some hate it is this:

When you are using your gifts you will always enjoy what you are doing. However if we step outside of your gifts, work is just a mundane, boring and hideous task where we spend more time looking at the time clock to go home than we do work .

Gifts are much different than skill sets in this sense. Any of us can sign up for college and and get a certificate or degree in something that we now possess the skill to do well. We may even be considered experts and get awards for work.

Yet we still may go home a few months later and experience the same burnout we did at our last career.

The reason is simple. Although we have been taught a new skill, this has no connection with our satisfaction.

Satisfaction and peace come only from using your God given gifts. There is no shame in learning extra skills fur our toolbox. But never mistake skills fur gifts

Think about it this way. Have you ever been to an event , get together, church service or something like these where the announcer says it’s time to hear a song from so and so- let’s put our hands together for the one and only ” so and so ” who will now sing ” Let Love Reign” ..

You listen to the person start belting out their tune and within a minute you are embarrassed for them. It’s soo very bad that all you can picture is two cows caught in barbed wire moaning for help. ” What is she thinking” we say to our wife or husband.

There are people that want to be something they were not gifted to do. It’s obvious they have no talent in that area. Yet they press on when everyone knows she has been told to slow her roll in the singing, but ignores it. Eventually they crash and burn.

Our gifts are evident by the fruit it produces. Gifts do not brag, or build themselves up. Gifts are those things that you do regularly and realize that all your life you have gotten high praise for it but it didn’t matter because they were not in it for the accolades, but because it is a PASSION!

We all have gifts . I know mine and believe me, I know from the school of hard knocks where my gifts do NOT exist. When you start to operate outside if your gifts in a job or at church or wherever, there is an uncomfortable feeling of frustration, and your career turns into nothing more than a 9-5 punch the clock, can’t wait to get out of here deal.

Now don’t get me wrong, at some point in our lives we have all had to take jobs that were just not within our gifts to get through college or to make ends meet or maybe we were in a situation that we called for that because we couldn’t get the job using our gifts at this time. But that’s not a permanent situation.

Skills can be learned- gifts cannot. Your focus should be to identify what your gifts are. Your spiritual gifts, your God given gifts and pursue that.

Look back and think about all the times that people have complimented you on something that you do well or something that stands out in the crowd that you may have never even thought about. If you’re not sure there are many online Christian spiritual gifts tests that you can take to help you identify where your gifts are. If you’re a violin maker make the best violins around if you change tires do it the best and the fastest way you can do it. If you happen to be the greatest plumber around , be proud! Not many could do that!

If you are a corporate executive be the best CEO you can. Whatever you do stay within your gifting and only use skills for money if it’s absolutely necessary because you can’t make ends meet with your gifts. There’s nothing wrong with that but make sure your priority is to use your gifts so that your motivation stays in place.

That’s my 2 cents for today..

Peace

Visualize Whirled Peas

Tj

100% Guarenteed Best Parenting Advice -Period. If You Are A Parent- Read Now. I Doubt You Have Heard This…

 

I don’t recall ever being so bold as to proclaim that I have an answer that every single parent will find invaluable. I am going to put that out there today however. The reason is simple. I personally have lived it, its tried and tested and proven a winner in every venue I have worked in, lived in and taught in. Before I quickly share this, I feel under the circumstances I should at least give you a quick breakdown of my background in this area, so you know I am not blowing smoke from some Dr. Dobson book I just read.

My experience in parenting;

Live in foster parent to over 50 abused, neglected and very troubled teens. For over 4 years I had 6 living with me at a time, for anywhere from 7 to 12 months average. I was responsible to develop individual behavioral plans, treatment goals and teach social skills to each until they were ready to transition back into their home situation. In most cases I worked with the parents of the teens on parenting issues, planning and transition goals for both the parents and the teen.

Certified 4x by Father Flanagan’s Boys and Girls Town as a Family Teacher. I worked in the emergency shelter, group home as mentioned and in both boys and girls homes.

I was hired by the state, specifically the Department of Juvenile Justice to teach parenting to groups, and also lead groups to teens in the system.

I have managed/run several day programs, alternative schools for expelled youth, and while managing one school I was asked to train the entire teacher roster in central Florida on classroom management. Three counties worth, and using a skills and behavior management model that I developed.

The most recent alternative setting I was involved in was for kids who were expelled from public school, sent to the secure treatment facility for violent offenders-then expelled from there. I got them next. Sixty  kids from 8-18- many convicted felons. Gang members, one of which sadly was murdered one night after school near his home by a rival.  Within a year, using my own model for behavior and hiring a staff of 45 then training them, most were saying yes sir and doing well in school. Ready to transition back to public school.

I was nominated for Administrator of the year my first year- for that county. ( I hate awards and recognitions as I am not into it, and I am not in it for that). Nevertheless, my Executive Director made me attend the party at the Hilton Oceanside to announce the winner. I was the 2nd place guy, and the winner was a 20 year county judge who was retiring.

 

I also have 4 of my own. 2 boys -2 girls. Boys are up and out. My older son is in the Army reserves, a sniper/ weapons expert, full-time college student and full time worker as well. He took 30th in the nation out of 30k in 9mm marksmen and since then he has had many doors open, he chose military over law enforcement… ( he said he did not want to arrest his friends… : {  umm wait a minute, should I be worried about that statement, I remember thinking…what are his friends doing??? lol)

My younger son -19 is a professional bull rider and is currently around 20th in the world or so, and the current southern states champion in his circuit. He has made more money in the last year then I have in 10 years. I never made a lot, but when I was 19 I was begging for a 10 spot from my mom…so I am super proud.

My little babies are my heartbeat. 9&5 – I am not at all partial but I think they are at least in the top .0001% of cutest kids around….

wp-1483613316427.jpg

Ok, enough about my experience. It was necessary in this unusual scenario, for credibility but please understand I am not bragging at all. I am an imperfect man who has made far too many major mistakes in my lifetime for my liking.

As matter of fact the advice I am sharing now was birthed out of me being forced as a young dad, to either try to hide my problems and mistakes from my kids, put on the old happy daddy face and pretend I have it all together, or keep it legit, and lay it ALL on the table for my then young boys to absorb and possibly judge me on.

Let me reiterate one thing. There is nothing as a parent, even with the experience, training and degrees that I did long enough and consistently enough to call myself a role model parent and stick my chest out. Quite the contrary actually.  I grew up with a father that actually introduced me to all the WRONG things, and ways at a very early age that cost me many good years. Not blaming anyone for my problems, but sometimes I wish I would have had a decent shot at the starting line. It took, and still is taking me decades to untangle some of the crazy webs that have been woven in my brain since 6-8 years old.

My understanding of the value of women, the importance of choosing words carefully as you cannot “un-hear” -and that little issue of being fed alcohol while barely in double digits then not understanding why I was in withdrawals for many of my high school years really messed me up.

So it doesn’t really matter who caused what, or who is to blame. Kids don’t care. It is what it is to them. What you see is what you get.

Now, I will tell you what I decided. I decided to gamble. I laid it all on the line. Came clean with boys. Depression, addiction, everything. Yes, I felt like a loser at that moment. I would never ever trade it though. Never.

So the heart of the matter is this; You are not perfect. You will, if you have not already take a fall….that can become public to your family at best.. I can attest as the chief of all sinners that there is very little you can do to dance your way around, avoid, disguise, and evade issues that you know very well your kids will find out about or already know. It has NEVER worked in my 22 years as a parent and 25 years in this field.

The very best thing you can do for the respect and trust of your family, is come clean. Sit down and talk about what you are struggling with, what you are worried about, take ownership. Not just that though, you need to share your plans to remedy, and invite them to be a part, if appropriate. In my case, the first time I had a sit down of this type, I shared my on-going struggle with addiction to alcohol, and then revealed my plan to enter into an inpatient program.

That was the best move I ever made. Not only did I have a giant monkey off my back, but somehow my kids respected me more. Because of that dialogue many years ago, we have this open door, no fear deal which allows them to talk to me about anything without judgement, and me to do the same. Nobody can use my past struggles against me anymore because I chose to put it out there myself..

I don’t know who this is for , but it must be important to someone as it has been burning a hole in my soul all night to get posted. You may not have the issues I did, maybe its totally different. It doesn’t matter, because the point of this post is to share a golden parenting tip, a sure fire way to be a winner of a parent. It ain’t by being perfect. Because not one of us is. It is by being transparent.

It takes a real ego check to do. Its difficult at first. Then freeing. 

All the years in all the programs, and schools and group homes I ran that I had such great success with had nothing to do with training, or education. Those things came in handy down the road. However the secret to my success with any kid I have worked with or my own kids, is nothing more then honesty.

I have taken and taught and trained on every possible theory in behavior and parenting. They all have some merit. They also all have one thing in common.

None work effectively, without complete transparency from the adult first. Kids give respect when it is modeled for them. Not forced respect either. Not they are afraid you will yell at them or beat them respect. I mean genuine respect, which unlocks the door for all the parenting books and ideas you want. Until you have that, its like sucking air through a very thin straw..

 

Hope this helps. It works!

 

tj

 

 

 

 

No Offers To Help From The Vatican Yet- Hmm . I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

Check This Out- Heck We Could Work Full Time Jobs Forever Just To Shut This Down-

Go Big- Or- Go HOME!!!

Hmm-sounds fair. — Am I wrong here?  WOW-if it wont open I will fix- gotta go

 

Wow already 5 countries have hit me but sadly not Italy-

Oh, wait- that’s right they are trying to BAN police from knowing about any rapes. They promised to investigate- THOROUGHLY-

SCOUTS HONOR!- OH WAIT CANT USE THAT ONE-

You all have got me so fired up my blood is boiling – and I feel like I am waking up from a 20 year coma. When this whole thing is said and done — don’t go anywhere because you will never ever ever believe how all the pieces through the years have made a way to this day. Now it is the rubber meets road and I feel the need for SPEED!

I don’t know exactly how this will specifically unfold but I am telling you now so whenever it does I want you see- the rest..of the story all the way back. I mean you will freak out.

Thanks again-

tj

Romans 8:28 and Jeremy Camp- I still believe.

Those are the 2 things I spoke and listened to every day 20 years ago..that was just the beginning – and man I cant wait to see the ending.

ATTENTION! NEED JUST ONE MORE PIECE! LETS FINISH THIS RIGHT!

Thank you thank you so very much for re-blogging my brothers story. To my amazement this has taken it to yet another level, making it harder for the pedi-priest to slide out of this deal. I NEED TODAY this.

A consultant, businessman, investor, with some media knowledge and who is interested in what may become a very big and wide open investigation to include national syndicated talk shows and all media. Its sitting on the table.

I have not a minute for posers or anyone who has any other intention then to expose the ENTIRE CULT of pedi-priests in general. Of course after watching my brothers killer be locked up. It may involve books media and much else. I have spent 4 years writing about all this praying that one day this freak and others would be exposed.

Please only contact me if you have resources, negotiation skills with media and publishing and other. Financially you will never worry about your investment as we will do this if an agreement is made that is suitable. I can sell my book tomorrow and get paid because my brother is the one in this case involved. But why stop there? I have the connections to put national deals that would turn on a national spotlight long term on ALL these guys.

So if I find the right partner, we will go that route and hopefully make a HUGE dent in this ring. If not I will sell my own story, be happy Gondek is locked up and move on.

We can nab him- and thanks very much.

Or..there are these guys-

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=picture+of+priests+being+arrested&FORM=HDRSC2&adlt=strict

Anyone else want to vomit?

 

That’s just the bottom line- me – right?? LOL

What is meant to happen will. Thanks to y’all who stepped up. It just took one and I am one step away from immediate and total focus on this. If I wait too long the next news story will get the chance I have. I have 24-48 hour window to at least solidify a partnership.  From there I can secure any national show I feel like it. That, would be awesome. So thanks and if you or someone in your crew that you trust and has what I need contact me 24 hours around the clock starting 6pm tonite. I will be lining up media as I talk to people and Y’all will understand if it works this way –

contact me by email or text first with any reservations-tjpetri16@gmail.com and text 386-675-7549- If you happen to know that you know that you know this is for you if you feel me -just call asap. Praying.

. If you already see and know and have experience in this and want in just call. I really just need a professional to handle all the negotiation and financials and things I don’t even want to know about. If you do your part the opp to pull in long term media to keep this crime exposed is also there. Its truly one of those one of a lifetime deals. The media has to stay with what is hot. Right this moment it is this. It wont be long.

Love you all for helping-

tj

 

 

 

Are You Doing The Right Thing Right Now? Jobs, Blogs, and Your Purpose.

futureMany times I have asked myself if I was doing or pursuing the right thing, professionally especially. I have had many doors shut in my face and many swing open, but have always wondered how to know which way to even think as I looked into the options. Here is a concept to consider when making choices that will have long term effects on you, whether good or not so good. It always helps to find out if you are even looking in the right area when seeking out a career, a career change, or even taking on a project such as a blog, or writing a book.

When we make a decision to make a move towards a particular interest we must know and understand the following idea in order to avoid years of head and heartache, and becoming discouraged about our choices. The idea applies to CEO’s or new college grads looking to enter the workforce and everyone in the middle. Here it is, so really try to focus on it, and apply it to your current situation. Take a minute to see if things are lined up as they should be in your life.

Are You Using Your Gifts, Or Your Skill Set?

We all have gifts that we were born with, gifts that are unique and that not everyone has. If you have a gift of teaching for example, then you will find that you have a burning passion inside to teach. You have a yearning to teach, and you are effective at it. Gifting will not be identified on vocational testing, it is something you have to identify and search out. What is it that you are passionate about, and feel strongly about making a difference in? Are you equipped with the right gifts to move forward in that area?

Next, we must recognize what a skill set is, compared to a gifting. It is critical to know the difference as it may determine if you burn out in your career or you flourish and love your choice. Skill sets are learned skills. We are not born with skill sets, we learn them as we go through certain jobs, people, family or even the internet. A set of skills may make you capable of doing a job well, but leave you wanting in the ” what is my purpose ” area. Lets take the teacher example. Being a teacher requires a college education and training on methods of teaching, how different people learn, how to manage classrooms and the like. One may graduate with honors with a teaching certificate, but crash and burnout in 3 years, because they do not have the gift of teaching, they have a skill set on teaching.

We can use both our gifts and our skill sets, but order is key. Gifting must come first, and skills second. If you were the owner of a company, would you rather hire a gifted employee who may need some skill training, or an employee who has no fire, no passion for the job, but does meet criteria to complete the requirements because they have good skills?

The separation in your mind of where your gifting is, versus where your learned skills are, will help you make the right call when looking to embark on any new job, or project in your life.

DLMK