Only those who have lived there know…
Only those who have lived there know…
Whatever it may look like for you…get away.
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Today could be the first day of the rest of your life! Its up to you now…
Moms are not replaceable…they rarely get the love the give out so freely.
If you must take someone for granted in this life make sure it is not your mother. Mom, the one who believed in you when most had given up. The only person who walks toward you when you find yourself in a dirty mess while the rest fade into the darkness.
The picture here is of my mom and I this Christmas at a dinner. Pretty common right? Not in this case. One week before this picture was taken, my mom suffered a heart attack and had emergency heart surgery. I did not know if I would even see her on this earth again, never mind having a Christmas meal out with her after that
Today, not tomorrow, tell your mom how much you love her and appreciate all the times she stood by you in the dark times and still managed to tell you convincingly that you would make it and that you will succeed.
After all, you may not have that opportunity tomorrow…
I gave up decades ago even sharing with close friends the goings on in my life. Why? Simple; They didnt believe me, or simply couldn’t process the idea that these occurrences would be continuous in one person’s life.
Some of the incidents in our family are common like divorce, diseases, abuse and even our tragic times like my brothers suicide and lots of death in general.
I quickly learned that most things are better left to the family. However , sometimes I just got to let it out! Thats where blogging has been therapeutic for me. Last week or so I mentioned I was exhausted from keeping on top of the pedo-priest deal but happy that somebody busted it wide open. The official in Pennsylvania just blew it out of the water with his huge announcement in August.
We needed a break like that.
Thank God most states are following suit and investigating seriously the huge racket of pedophilia in the church.
But, today I’m sharing a different side of things that I suspect many of you can relate to in your own way.
Battling a group of freaks as powerful and wealthy and nasty as some of Catholic church can be dangerous. I have been in this field long enough to know when you ruffle feathers, you better prepare for war, both *spiritually and naturally.
( *shout out to my atheist friends btw..just ignore that ” spiritual” reference..lol you all know I love ya..)
Since the year I really started digging my heals in the whole thing I have been attacked from so many directions its hard to keep up. It becomes a way of life. You may lose friends, family and even spouses over it.
(I mean thats what I hear)
But as many of of you all know, when you just know in your knower that you cannot be silent about an issue…you cannot back down…its no longer a choice.
For me it was letting innocent kids become suicidal due to the sick pleasures of thousands of perverts in the church- I have no choice.
Recently as I was preparing to gather some documents for reporters off my email and files would you believe just coincidentally ( yeah right) I found myself totally locked out of my email, files and somehow at the same time my cellphone carrier ” accidently”did a FACTORY RESET on my cell!!!
If you dont know what that is, it basically means all the info and documents on your phone go bye – bye. For good.
Since I couldn’t get access to my cell phone now I was locked out of- I wasn’t able to reset my password for my Gmail because Google requires you to have the current phone number and get a text on it which means I was completely locked out and still am of all the documents I had. Fortunately this blog has been a lifesaver in that area because I posted almost all the things I had … statements, emails from officials etc…
I posted most on this blog so they’re all public anyway.
Whatever was behind that – it didn’t work – but it sure was stressful and still is stressful.
By the way I am well aware I’m not the only person that goes through times like this and I know that people have things even worse much worse than I do, I’m not here to claim I’ve got the toughest life I’m sure many of you can relate in your own way to what I’m saying.
So just as I was kind of catching my breath after that incident.. Yesterday brought to surface an entirely different issue from an angle I never expected ..
My mother didn’t feel good and she’s always feeling good but I knew something was wrong and insisted she go to the ER. as it turns out I was overreacting it was just a heart attack.
She only had a heart attack. Of course to my mom it’s like it’s no big deal “I just had a little heart attack they put a stent in and I’ll be okay and home in a few days”
” By the way son did you remember to take the recycle bin out?”
Me-” Yes momma, I got all 4 plastic milk containers in the bin”
It’s driving me crazy…and that’s not a very long trip in my state of mind right now LOL.
I watched the movie called Flawless the other day with Demi Moore and Michael Caine, during the movie they were having a conversation about how nothing worth doing is ever about the money and it struck a chord with me. It is very true.
The last decade or so life has seemed almost unbearable in so many different aspects and yet there’s no turning back.
I think many many people reading this can understand that- whatever your journey and your battle has been, so just keep your eye on the prize and never never never never give up- and never count on anybody else to lift you up and push you and motivate you while your surpassing anything they’ve ever attempted.
Well they are calling me back to my unit now- so gotta go.
** Well I think I just realized I did I fail to attach the link to the interview I was discussing this post but you can just Google “Charlotte diocese may disclose names” and you’ll see the interviews with the priest and the bishop that I’m referring to in this post ..
I thought I attached it but I don’t think I did now so that’s what I am referring to in this post.
You do need to remember if you do watch any of the interviews whether it be with David Haines the speaker of the pedophiles at the Charlotte diocese or Harold,.David a pretend ” Advocate” or the bishop himself who probably chases more altar boys Around the church and anyone they’re all guilty do just players in different capacities and they are equally good actors and they could care less about these victims and it’s a shame to hear them pretend like their heart broken we know darn well the minute the cameras are out those freaks will be fighting over their pantyhose to see who gets the next altar boy that comes to the door so don’t be fooled by the acting skills – and it will all come out**
Any of you all have been following my post for the last couple years and father gondek and the Charlotte diocese in general is already well aware of what’s going on but it’s amazing to me that the whole world has been dumbed down so much that they’re so shocked that this is not just a few bad apples but it’s the world’s largest organized pedophile racket the Catholic church and it hasn’t been for many many generations. David Haynes of the Charlotte Diocese of David Harold who I’ve spoken to many times and emailed should win Oscar awards for their performances because they are just excellent at what they’re doing pretending that they don’t know there’s been anything going on since 2004 even though for the last three years I’ve been in communication with both of them about seven or eight different kids that were molested by father gondek and I think I’ve even posted emails on the site from him proving that. But there’s no shame in the pedophiles game and it’s amazing to me that even though Grand Puba Peter jurgis can pretend he’s so heartfelt and sad for all these victims when my guess is hes on playground Duty right after that interview..
Well the party can only last so long whatever happens in the dark comes out in the light took a few about a year longer than I thought it would but I think I’ve published close to a hundred post on pedophile priests in the last two and a half years or so and I didn’t know how it was going to come down but the Pennsylvania thing sure didn’t hurt because now everybody has to do look up and have their hand in the cookie jar and there’s no way out of it.
When I recover from the last couple years I will be posting details follow-ups but right now I’m out of a little bit of a break because I’m focusing on ensuring that this actually happens the way it should happen and that there’s criminal and civil charges against Gondek and all of his other pedophile priests and all those executive pedophiles at the Charlotte diocese as well because they’re all just as guilty.
So stay tuned and fasten your seatbelt I think it’s going to get pretty ugly pretty quick but not that any of those guys really care because they have no shame at all as you can see where the interviews and they just completely lie and fabricate and cover up every possible angle as if it was really not happening.
I have to remind myself that not everybody has had the benefit of watching a few of these guys especially gondek for 20 years molesting molesting and molesting including my own brother who killed himself over it and after a while it’s not even a question of if he’s guilty it’s just how many hundreds of victims are there so when I hear somebody in the Catholic church say well most of the priests are good God-fearing man and they still are just totally brainwashed it reminds me of the victims themselves who feel that way for a few years after their abuse. But that’s the power in the control of that money and the church has.
I heard the bishop mention he’s going to withhold donations from the Pennsylvania group because it’s so many abuse cases…
And he’s so “absolutely disgusted and broken hearted” over that that he’s going to withhold any more donations..
“And the academy award goes to ….”
Well gosh I don’t know they could all get one.? they’re so darn good.
Let me translate for you. that was code for ” damn it now I have to pay 10 million in pedophile fees for my Charlotte crew so I can’t donate to Pennsylvania anymore ”
Well at least it’s proof that Justice does occur at some point regardless of the fact that thousands and thousands maybe more of little kids have been raped and molested and forever ruined emotionally.
it’s very sad but I’m glad to see that that this happened the way it happened because it it was going to take something big in order to uncover something like this and it was very kind of David Haynes to say he ” might publish” the names of the priests – since we’ve all been posting them for 2 years anyway that’s very kind of him it doesn’t take Columbo .Haynes – you freak.
You know as well as I do soon as those interviews are over they are all fighting over their nail polish for who gets playground duty after that..
Well that’s all for today so thanks for all of you who have been supporting and praying that the truth would come out and reposting my articles because right now if you just Google that guy’s name it’ll be all over the Internet and a lot of that goes to people like you guys who have supported justice and it took a little village to do that just to get him out there – and you know there’s a bunch more..
It was 3 years ago I announced to you all that there was a priest who was going unpunished after decades of sexually abusing kids. It just so happened that Father Albert Gondek also groomed and doomed to suicide my own brother Danny after Gondek kept pressing for an adult relationship after high school.
Well the video clip by the news reporter tells it all and I think this will bring an opportunity for some closure for those who never came forward.
They are no longer alone.
Gondek’s most recent playground – a North Carolina church and its diocese is finally under investigation . This is the beginning of the end for all those who covered up for pedo-priests and/or took part in destroying young kids lives.
Click on the blue link above to watch the story unfold…
Don’t ask me why – but one of my bucket list items was to do a ” Superman ” on my Honda CR250 Dirt Bike while this song blasted…. weird I know – but it is what it was…lol- but the song is awesome for anyone to start their day! Note – When the video comes on you may have to press ” skip ad ” after 5 seconds….
Click the blue and crank it up!
The doctor asked patient 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”
The doctor inquired of Patient 1 what Patient 2 was doing. Patient 1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a light bulb.” The doctor looks up and notices Patient 2′s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient 1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?”
Patient 1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”
Hey I tried…..tj
Click the link above. It will renew your faith in parents who still raise their kids right.
Man have I been tested in the last few years. I know I am not the only one and many of you have been through tough times as well. I guess this is a ” faith post ” and I make no apologies for it. I do however invite my agnostics, non-believers, atheists and Palm tree seekers to still read. We all have tough times so we have that in common.
For me it is my faith in God that I rely on after years of going it alone. The thing is, is its hard. The world we live in is broken. People are twisted. Hurt is everywhere. Tragedy is all over. So how does one get through these trials and come out the other side still able to live – or even want to?
Some of you have lost children, spouses, or had terrible health issues that have left you crippled in your mind and sometimes physically. How do we cope? What does that even look like? To me it was very much a shock to grab hold of my faith, trusting it would carry me over the storms, only to find out that it simply carried me through the storms.
There is a huge difference in that. For me the main difference is a maturity issue. I once was bottle fed as a believer and it seemed like God just babied me through my trials. However after a decade or so in the faith I realized something I did not really care to know. I started to understand that just as we are expected to grow up chronologically in this world and stand on our own two feet, we also are expected to mature in the faith.
Mature in the faith? What is that supposed to mean? Well, for me it has meant being forced to cling to the promises of God in scripture, and to Him. It has – for me anyway meant being stripped of my comforts and things or people who gave me security and lay alone, cold and afraid with nobody to look to except the Lord. Not easy. As a matter of fact it has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
I love my family, my kids and friends and all. There came a time several years ago when none of those were available to me. They all had their own agendas and life goals to attend to. I had no choice but to try to learn to rely on God for my strength, my companionship, my security and all the rest. I thought it would be a fairly easy transition. I thought wrong. It is a very hard thing to trust in and rely on God for it all.
Until you have been stripped of everything you relied on for security, you have not been in a position to have to rely on God. Maybe you are there. Maybe you are all cozy with the things this world has given you. Whatever the case, be prepared to be ” uncozy “. The thing about faith is that it’s the unseen, the unfelt, the untouchable. You cannot reach out for a warm fuzzy when you are dark and lonely.
Sounds like faith is not anything to be desired, right? Who wants to go through all that suffering? None of us. Yet the Bible talks about the ” abundant ” life. Huh? Abundant what? Well, it is an entirely different animal than what we assume. It means actually recognizing that ” the joy of the Lord is my strength. ” Not my car, job, money, kids, etc..
The truth is – people come and go, relationships come and go, kids come and go, money comes and goes, jobs too, health, and all of it. So at some point the roller coaster ride comes to a halt and when we look to our right and left, all of our security blankets may be gone. What now? This is where the rubber meets the road.
God is the same yesterday , today and forever.
There is a Country song out for years about the ” whiskey ain’t workin anymore “. After some of us are confronted with the inevitable, the loss of our security blankets on this earth, some turn to temporary fixes like alcohol or drugs and they sometimes work for a while. It is after they stop working that we are backed up against the wall. Nothing left to turn to – except God and that is only if one is even willing to acknowledge Him.
This post is just to promote thinking – as there is no way I could go into even the trials I have dealt with. The point here is this; It is possible to only need God. It is possible to have unexplainable Joy in the midst of trials. It is only possible for those willing to ask, seek and knock like never before. Call on the name of the Lord every day and study the promises in His Word. Renew our minds each day with the truth, not the lies of this world.
If you do not believe there is a spiritual battle going on for your soul on this earth than you will at some point understand that. Right now if you are struggling, I recommend God. I recommend faith. I recommend it before you need it if that is a possibility in your life. I know from years of messages from you all that some worship watermelons or mother earth. I know some of you have your trust in ” the universe” – which is becoming very popular. The thing about prayer, is it only helps if it is sent to the living God, not a sea turtle nest.
Keep on with it. When things dry up – turn to the creator not the creation.
It will be the best wager you ever made. Peace.
I have not posted in a while and I want everyone to know why. Besides having the ups and downs of major depression, I also decided to do something that I knew could be extremely hard and really was not sure if I could handle it.
Five years ago I started a journey of 7 surgeries for a bone disease I have. I have written about it a few times but basically it amounted to 3 total hip replacements and much pain. I was on heavy-duty narcotics for 2 years for the pain when I was asked a question by my treatment team. The question was about whether I would like to go on a Morphine pump for life or try Suboxone to get off the Morphine and see if it helped with the pain.
I could not fathom the idea of being loaded up on that much Morphine for life so I opted for Suboxone. I was on for 1 year. The pain was less and I felt I made the right choice. However recently when I discussed it with my doctor and told him I wanted to wean off the Suboxone – he advised me to stay on another year. I said no. Lets just wean me off and see how I handle it. He refused and I was forced to make a very tough choice. I could walk out and go off cold turkey which would no doubt mean horrible times ahead for at least a month or two, or sign on for another year and keep my body hooked on a Heroin level Narcotic, or suffer debilitating withdrawals.
I walked away. Three weeks ago. By God’s Grace I made it through the first two weeks without dying. Detox is strongly recommended to survive these type withdrawals. I just decided to tough it out ( I am not recommending it) and get myself off of the last major medicine I was on. I am in my third week and I can honestly say I did not know if I would make it this far.
I have been through hell and back and still am going through the withdrawal symptoms which are horrific.
I want anyone to know that if you are facing a similar situation, make sure you pray about your options. If you are a person of Faith and a praying person – seek God.
No matter what- you can do it. I cannot write much more but I believe this is for someone out there. Do not choose to stay dependent on any drugs. The price you will pay to get off may be tough, but if you remember you are freeing your body of all the dependence – you will make it.