Only those who have lived there know…
Only those who have lived there know…
Whatever it may look like for you…get away.
How many of you like ( if you aready use us) or would prefer to get coaching & counseling from the comfort of your home via email, IM, IMO, Skype, Telephone etc..instead of going into a doctors office each week?
About 1/3 of all those in need of help with a mental health, addiction , behavioral, or coaching needs NEVER seek help simply due to the fear of doctors offices, social phobias , embarrassment , cost or other reasons.
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Why havent you contacted us ?
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Today could be the first day of the rest of your life! Its up to you now…
At the end of the day it’s never the hurtful words of my enemies that get to me. At the end of the day it’s the silence of my friends that hurts the most.
Well- Not really but I suppose to some who had been living with head buried under rock, it may have been a bit shocking. To me, it was long overdue and just the tip of the iceberg. I still felt a little hoarse in my voice from years of proclaiming this very thing to anyone I could.
This truly was a wake-up call for me in another way, however. I watched the Pennsylvania official list hundreds of priests busted and thousands of victims identified in just one area of the state. I remember watching it and not even shaking my head in surprise or flinching as he read of the most hideous, perverted, disgusting tools the worlds largest organized pedophile racket used to keep their system working.
Some of the examples were several pedo-priests ordering kids to stand naked in the shape of the cross, because Jesus did. They snapped pics and God only knows did what with them. Another example of the intimidation used was after children were sexually abused they were ordered to go to confession! This way they could bear the guilt and shame of the deviants. Continue reading “I Was So – “Not Surprised” By This That I Forgot To Post It When It Aired!”
Don’t you dare tell somebody suffering from the disease of addiction that they need to “snap out of it” or think about their family- unless you been there. Do you understand that no addict has ever asked or wanted or desired to be in addict? Has it ever occurred to you that addicts at some point in their life usually go through periods where they feel like they might as well take their life because they’re causing more pain then good?
Don’t you dare talk to the clinically -major depressed person and tell them that we all go through sad times and they need to fight through it and buck up- and just work their way through it. Have you ever been so physically- emotionally- mentally paralyzed you wanted to move and do things but you couldn’t even get your socks on and think straight and find any reason why you should even wake up the next morning? Have you ever had your children ask you how come you can’t work right now? How come you’re not working like everybody else and they think it’s because you’re lazy when they have no idea that you haven’t slept more than 30 minutes in a month?
Don’t you dare tell somebody they need to pray more and obey God and that’s why they’re having problems in their life when you don’t have any idea how much time they put into prayer and bible study or whatever to seek God in their life -probably more than you ever will even think about doing.
Dont you dare point your finger at someone who has lost everything because of a disease that put them in the hospital for years of surgeries and even had their own spouses walk out on them because they got sick due to no cause of their own. Have you ever felt so depleted that you feel like everything you try to do is 10x harder in life- then had the people who supposedly love you point their finger at you about the hardship you have caused- over and over? Then Dont.
Dont you dare coach someone on how to get re-established in the workforce and income when you have no idea that your 2 hours a day spent sending out resumes is a damn joke compared to the all night sessions for months with no sleep putting together resumes and sending out proposals – networking and doing 10x more than you to find work?
Dont you dare take advantage of someone elses misfortune by exploiting them or pressing them for that 100$ they owe you- unless you have been through the same misfortune. If you are a parent dont you ever use your spouses situations to manipulate your kids into thinking that you just dont care. You are an evil person who will not go unpunished.
Had a few rough days? Maybe a funeral for a family member got you down? Dont you dare walk around claiming you have Bipolar Disorder because a few mood swings have come your way. Believe me – you dont want to know what that is really like. Unless you have sufferred to the extent and length of time of the other- keep it zipped.
Dont you dare question the PTSD symptoms of someone who has lived through more in a year than you have in your life. Why are the vets who come home totally disabled and suicidal condsidered heroes but you tell your loved one to ” buck up” and move forward? Have you grown up in an alcoholic, abusive, violent environment and gone on to live through a family members suicide, full blown addiction, major depression that 20 different medications didnt touch, been struck down with a disease that put you in the hospital for 6-7 surgeries over 4 years that caused you to have to tell your kids they cant live in their house anymore? Then Dont.
I have lived through all of those things and let me tell you it sucks to have especially the ones you love and thought loved you bail out and mock your situation- compare you to others who have never been through any of it. Oh, and the above is only a shortlist- a partial listing of the things some of us have lived through. I dont ever talk about the REAL serious stuff- lest someone suggest I am looking for pity. I dont want anyones pity.
But I am not afraid to give an occasional reality check to those who need it.
Its really something to spend the first 20 years in your career working for peanuts but choosing a profession that is designed to help others. Making yourself available 24/7 for anyone who is suicidal or just needs help and then fast forward to a period in your own life when you walk through even darker and longer times than those you helped- yet those who even know this have the stones to criticize you.
If you are one of those people- here is a word of advice-
-STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE-
I have to admit some of the stuff we discuss here is personal and I honor that by not sharing any comments outside of this blog. However when I write a post on say Mental Health, Addiction, or the like I always in the back of my mind wonder how the people on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter view my stories and trials. They aren’t going through it like most of us here have or are – right?
I have not posted in a while and I want everyone to know why. Besides having the ups and downs of major depression, I also decided to do something that I knew could be extremely hard and really was not sure if I could handle it.
Five years ago I started a journey of 7 surgeries for a bone disease I have. I have written about it a few times but basically it amounted to 3 total hip replacements and much pain. I was on heavy-duty narcotics for 2 years for the pain when I was asked a question by my treatment team. The question was about whether I would like to go on a Morphine pump for life or try Suboxone to get off the Morphine and see if it helped with the pain.
I could not fathom the idea of being loaded up on that much Morphine for life so I opted for Suboxone. I was on for 1 year. The pain was less and I felt I made the right choice. However recently when I discussed it with my doctor and told him I wanted to wean off the Suboxone – he advised me to stay on another year. I said no. Lets just wean me off and see how I handle it. He refused and I was forced to make a very tough choice. I could walk out and go off cold turkey which would no doubt mean horrible times ahead for at least a month or two, or sign on for another year and keep my body hooked on a Heroin level Narcotic, or suffer debilitating withdrawals.
I walked away. Three weeks ago. By God’s Grace I made it through the first two weeks without dying. Detox is strongly recommended to survive these type withdrawals. I just decided to tough it out ( I am not recommending it) and get myself off of the last major medicine I was on. I am in my third week and I can honestly say I did not know if I would make it this far.
I have been through hell and back and still am going through the withdrawal symptoms which are horrific.
I want anyone to know that if you are facing a similar situation, make sure you pray about your options. If you are a person of Faith and a praying person – seek God.
No matter what- you can do it. I cannot write much more but I believe this is for someone out there. Do not choose to stay dependent on any drugs. The price you will pay to get off may be tough, but if you remember you are freeing your body of all the dependence – you will make it.
If you know me you know I have been on antidepressants ad nauseum. 20+.
So I am well familiar with the let downs that come with seeing no improvement time after time.
Today I want anyone who has not gotten help from meds, but still suffers to consider looking into this awesome and proven method. I will be the first to tell you I have an appointment! Read and see the credentials, and the impressive places who are using it, such as Mayo clinic, Hopkins, etc…
I am excited to check it out and I recommend you share this with anyone you know who has given up on it…click the blue link…
( This is a ” Best Of ” post I am sharing again) -Enjoy!
Its been five years for me with this blogging thing. I have read my share of articles and opinions on why certain blogs have more followers than others, or one has more comments than the other etc… I have been on the same side, looking at my stats and wondering how come mine are so different from other blogs. I have felt the same feeling of questioning myself and wondering what I should be doing that I was not. The truth is, I have learned and still am learning about things that can benefit my site or draw a certain crowd. So this is a legitimate concern.
However, after five years of this, I recently discovered something that has absolutely changed the way I view my site and truthfully every site! I have made a discovery that, at least for me, is brand new and not talked about much, if it is even well understood. I am not convinced that what I am about to suggest, which potentially affects all of your blogs as well, is even common knowledge in the blogging world. I stumbled on it while pressing in over and over, looking for things I may be missing out on to promote my site.
What I am about to say has the potential to be quite controversial. but I firmly believe nobody will be able to disprove my theory. If everyone who reads this takes what I am saying and weighs it with their own circumstances, I am convinced the end results will be very much in line with each other. Now I want to be honest about the fact that some of my findings were birthed out of my total frustration with my lack of growth during certain seasons and seeming inability to move as fast as some other bloggers.
I really went over and over many times the same old information until one day it just clicked in my head that I had part of the answer to why some blogs are so very much more successful growth wise than others. Not that they are any better or worse, but just a reason that finally made sense to me. The news I am presenting here can make each one of us stop and reconsider what our passion is! What we write about. Why we write about what we do. I even remember one day I wrote a post that I had spent much time researching, and expected it to be well received in my community of bloggers. However, to my dismay, it was just an “average” post in my book. You know, 10-20 likes and maybe a comment or two. Whoopee, right?
Something happened around that same time, though, that brought it all full circle for me. That something was my stumbling upon a blog post on the feed about training dogs to do house tricks and healthy eating habits for your mutt. But then, as I neared the end of the post, I saw this enormous number that appeared on the last line of the post where comments also go. Yeah, it was this number like 469 or something. I must have read that 3 times just to be sure but it sure was 469 people gave their props for the doggy master and doggy diet expert. Now, in all fairness, I was just coming off of a post that I spent several hours researching, an hour and a half writing ( I think I may have even edited that one!) and I was feeling a tad low with my 20 likes on a very important topic for all of us humans, but even lower when I caught the 469 for the doggy dynasty.
Here is what I realized then. People in general simply do not wish to deal with the hard stuff that life has dealt. People in general like to have their ears caressed when reading a blog post. They do not want to be confronted with all the harsh realities we are facing in real world, non-doggy life. Grown ups who are well-educated and should care about certain issues like human trafficking, or pedophile priests, or crooked politicians are more than willing and even likely to skip the post about a crisis we, as a society, has to deal with and instead steer their eyes towards soothing material. Its true!
This is not just what my team writes about or what we deal with in mental health, child abuse, and addiction, but it was my own blog that awakened me to the idea of what was happening. I supported my theory by checking with other bloggers and looking at all the different numbers and it proved to be a working theory.
Here is the main point of what I found. People like me, who tend to deal with sad, even troubling issues much of the times seem to have this common thread of a lower amount of followers and not as many takers in general who even want to face these issues much less spend time thinking through them in a blog post. That seems to be a fact across the board. However, the amazing thing I discovered was that my smaller group of people were participating in, liking, and commenting on about 35% of what we published. Now I don’t know if you ever check those stats but recently I read an article by a very successful blogger who I believe said he sometimes had a 1-5% participation rate when it came to his huge audience actually liking or commenting on his topics. So to see 35% consistently and look back over the years and see it never dropped below 20%, was amazing to me. It told me something that we all need to be aware of. The numbers may not line up on the same side with all bloggers in the same categories. But the numbers are there most times just distributed in different places. In my case, I realized I had a slightly more intense crowd who did not mind getting their hands dirty in some controversy. Therefore, what I was not seeing in overall total followers, I was making up 10 fold in active engagement with my posts.
So, for all of us who blog, we need to start making sure our perspective is accurate. It simply is not likely, on any given day, that a human being with all the problems we already have, would rather spend 20 minutes ingesting some bad news about abused kids, rather than totally avoiding it and thinking about the fact that Rover can roll over. The one is simply much more stressful than the other. So none of us should discount one bit of our efforts writing based on simple numbers alone, but on the whole picture.
Many, many times I have read posts written by bloggers who are very disappointed in how slow their blog has progressed, in comparison to some others. Now it is easy for me to see that most are likely missing out on some part of the value in their work because they follow the popular way of measurement which typically is “How many followers you got?” That usually leads to depression. What if, just for one day, the question went like this, “Hey, what percent of the viewers of your posts actually care enough about them to “like” them or comment?” A much different way of thinking is born. And I am willing to bet that the question could be asked in many more ways that I have not even thought of.
But we as bloggers are followers in that sense. We want what the writer over there has. Yet truly we have no idea, unless he makes us privy to his stats, just how important those 26,000 followers were this month, because he never bothers to look past that and dig into the statistics that WordPress provides. Such as, how many of those people even took time to click “like” out of 26,000? Remember, this is not an “either or” scenario. I am discussing meaning that one type of stat is more important than another. Heck, do you think if tomorrow I found out a way to add-on 5000 followers to my crew, that I would not be running to do it? Of course I would. I want that, too.
We need to stop trying to fit our blogs into ‘cookie cutter’ molds that all line up a certain way. I will close by sharing something that happened my second year of blogging. It was a lonely time. I think I was paying family members 5 bucks to comment on a post just to get some action…lol – it was awfully depressing for me. And then I got an email from a lady out of this country. She was suicidal and an addict who had decided to take her life and truly also believed God was waiting to escort her to hell for being an addict in the first place. Rough, rough situation. Even with 20 years under my belt in social work and counseling, i could not prepare for that. Fortunately I did not have to come up with any miraculous words from my therapy book. You see after she told me in the email, from another country, she had decided to take her life, there was a “but”..”
She said “But then I read your post on faith and addiction and how you were where I was and how God never left you and you made it out, so I decided to keep on trying.” I think it was her and maybe a friend I had asked to read that post on that day. I only had a few dozen followers or a 100 whatever. Not many reading much of anything. But I will tell you that after that night, I knew that if nobody ever read one word of my writing again in history, those two years of dark and slow blog growth were well worth all of it and then some.
Never, ever question how your work, your efforts, are paying dividends. Hey, the facts are, folks, that some people get paid in the form of thousands of new followers pouring into their site each month, or maybe constant re-blogs and praise on almost everything they put on paper. It could be something they are not even aware of like in my situation with the suicidal lady. Be assured that what you are doing is not in vain. The cards have a way of landing a different way all the time and we do not always get to see how. If we are fortunate, we get a glimpse at some point. Even if you do not, never ever stop putting on paper what your heart is screaming to your brain all the time. There is a reason.
Stay with your first love. Don’t worry about the next guy. I can tell you from experience that you may never know the value of your work on this earth. But from experience let me also be the one to tell you it matters, to someone. Sometimes it matters a whole lot!
” If anyone causes one of these little ones those who believe in me-to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”
Matthew 18:6- NIV
Not everyone is aware of the numbers on this, but almost every child / teen that is molested ends up depressed, addicted, hopeless or suicidal. If they do manage to survive the sick abuse that goes on in the Catholic church-they usually end up on the street running with gangs. It is rare that anyone survive this and live a decent life.
So perhaps Jesus is speaking of this when He said the words above. At any rate, I encourage you – if you have ANY part of getting your kids, or anyone’s to a catholic church-remember this statement from Jesus Christ.
There are currently around 30k priests in the USA under investigation for sexual crimes against minors. And listen to this- those are THEIR numbers so imagine what they may be in reality.
It just is not worth it. Get you kids away from these freaks who use God’s name to sodomize 5 year olds.
Just Say No.
With all the garbage we hear at doctors offices from that fantasy book known as the DSM – it would do us some good to learn about non- fantasy issues with our health in general .Look into some reality based concerns about the food we eat and how it can actually cause things like depression and anxiety.
(Please read post before clicking on above link)
alternativesolutions4health.com – in some cases it’s life or death-literally. Dont delay.
This, ladies and gentleman is a very short summary in the form of a commercial of why we are where we are in American healthcare. Why you ask? Because we are the only country in THE ENTIRE WORLD dumb enough to allow drug makers to advertise on television. It takes advantage of and gives false hopes to an already downtrodden crowd grasping for a little hope by putting bringing false hope and manipulating desperate minds. I say prison, not cash is what these companies deserve.
This is the real deal folks. It just does not get any more plain to see than this. This is a major part of why Don’t Label My Kid! was created-to start telling the truth and giving actual successful alternatives for healing when possible.
After the Now, please watch for yourself and see how you feel after the quick voices spew out the REAL truth at the end….shameful.
The actual list of possible terrible side effects ( if I timed it close) takes longer to list and are much more severe than the benefits. Note
One example near the end is that a possible side effect includes DEATH! Sign me up!