Redditch parents mourn third child’s heart death – BBC News – Parenting 2018

Just when we thought our role as parents was getting unbearable, we are given a strong dose of reality.. I’d like to see someone take the initiative and create a WordPress support for this family. It doesn’t need to cost money, but if anyone would like to coordinate a mass letter drive to send our prayers and support contact me tim@dontlabelmykid.com.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-42675124

Tj

100% Guarenteed Best Parenting Advice -Period. If You Are A Parent- Read Now. I Doubt You Have Heard This…

 

I don’t recall ever being so bold as to proclaim that I have an answer that every single parent will find invaluable. I am going to put that out there today however. The reason is simple. I personally have lived it, its tried and tested and proven a winner in every venue I have worked in, lived in and taught in. Before I quickly share this, I feel under the circumstances I should at least give you a quick breakdown of my background in this area, so you know I am not blowing smoke from some Dr. Dobson book I just read.

My experience in parenting;

Live in foster parent to over 50 abused, neglected and very troubled teens. For over 4 years I had 6 living with me at a time, for anywhere from 7 to 12 months average. I was responsible to develop individual behavioral plans, treatment goals and teach social skills to each until they were ready to transition back into their home situation. In most cases I worked with the parents of the teens on parenting issues, planning and transition goals for both the parents and the teen.

Certified 4x by Father Flanagan’s Boys and Girls Town as a Family Teacher. I worked in the emergency shelter, group home as mentioned and in both boys and girls homes.

I was hired by the state, specifically the Department of Juvenile Justice to teach parenting to groups, and also lead groups to teens in the system.

I have managed/run several day programs, alternative schools for expelled youth, and while managing one school I was asked to train the entire teacher roster in central Florida on classroom management. Three counties worth, and using a skills and behavior management model that I developed.

The most recent alternative setting I was involved in was for kids who were expelled from public school, sent to the secure treatment facility for violent offenders-then expelled from there. I got them next. Sixty  kids from 8-18- many convicted felons. Gang members, one of which sadly was murdered one night after school near his home by a rival.  Within a year, using my own model for behavior and hiring a staff of 45 then training them, most were saying yes sir and doing well in school. Ready to transition back to public school.

I was nominated for Administrator of the year my first year- for that county. ( I hate awards and recognitions as I am not into it, and I am not in it for that). Nevertheless, my Executive Director made me attend the party at the Hilton Oceanside to announce the winner. I was the 2nd place guy, and the winner was a 20 year county judge who was retiring.

 

I also have 4 of my own. 2 boys -2 girls. Boys are up and out. My older son is in the Army reserves, a sniper/ weapons expert, full-time college student and full time worker as well. He took 30th in the nation out of 30k in 9mm marksmen and since then he has had many doors open, he chose military over law enforcement… ( he said he did not want to arrest his friends… : {  umm wait a minute, should I be worried about that statement, I remember thinking…what are his friends doing??? lol)

My younger son -19 is a professional bull rider and is currently around 20th in the world or so, and the current southern states champion in his circuit. He has made more money in the last year then I have in 10 years. I never made a lot, but when I was 19 I was begging for a 10 spot from my mom…so I am super proud.

My little babies are my heartbeat. 9&5 – I am not at all partial but I think they are at least in the top .0001% of cutest kids around….

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Ok, enough about my experience. It was necessary in this unusual scenario, for credibility but please understand I am not bragging at all. I am an imperfect man who has made far too many major mistakes in my lifetime for my liking.

As matter of fact the advice I am sharing now was birthed out of me being forced as a young dad, to either try to hide my problems and mistakes from my kids, put on the old happy daddy face and pretend I have it all together, or keep it legit, and lay it ALL on the table for my then young boys to absorb and possibly judge me on.

Let me reiterate one thing. There is nothing as a parent, even with the experience, training and degrees that I did long enough and consistently enough to call myself a role model parent and stick my chest out. Quite the contrary actually.  I grew up with a father that actually introduced me to all the WRONG things, and ways at a very early age that cost me many good years. Not blaming anyone for my problems, but sometimes I wish I would have had a decent shot at the starting line. It took, and still is taking me decades to untangle some of the crazy webs that have been woven in my brain since 6-8 years old.

My understanding of the value of women, the importance of choosing words carefully as you cannot “un-hear” -and that little issue of being fed alcohol while barely in double digits then not understanding why I was in withdrawals for many of my high school years really messed me up.

So it doesn’t really matter who caused what, or who is to blame. Kids don’t care. It is what it is to them. What you see is what you get.

Now, I will tell you what I decided. I decided to gamble. I laid it all on the line. Came clean with boys. Depression, addiction, everything. Yes, I felt like a loser at that moment. I would never ever trade it though. Never.

So the heart of the matter is this; You are not perfect. You will, if you have not already take a fall….that can become public to your family at best.. I can attest as the chief of all sinners that there is very little you can do to dance your way around, avoid, disguise, and evade issues that you know very well your kids will find out about or already know. It has NEVER worked in my 22 years as a parent and 25 years in this field.

The very best thing you can do for the respect and trust of your family, is come clean. Sit down and talk about what you are struggling with, what you are worried about, take ownership. Not just that though, you need to share your plans to remedy, and invite them to be a part, if appropriate. In my case, the first time I had a sit down of this type, I shared my on-going struggle with addiction to alcohol, and then revealed my plan to enter into an inpatient program.

That was the best move I ever made. Not only did I have a giant monkey off my back, but somehow my kids respected me more. Because of that dialogue many years ago, we have this open door, no fear deal which allows them to talk to me about anything without judgement, and me to do the same. Nobody can use my past struggles against me anymore because I chose to put it out there myself..

I don’t know who this is for , but it must be important to someone as it has been burning a hole in my soul all night to get posted. You may not have the issues I did, maybe its totally different. It doesn’t matter, because the point of this post is to share a golden parenting tip, a sure fire way to be a winner of a parent. It ain’t by being perfect. Because not one of us is. It is by being transparent.

It takes a real ego check to do. Its difficult at first. Then freeing. 

All the years in all the programs, and schools and group homes I ran that I had such great success with had nothing to do with training, or education. Those things came in handy down the road. However the secret to my success with any kid I have worked with or my own kids, is nothing more then honesty.

I have taken and taught and trained on every possible theory in behavior and parenting. They all have some merit. They also all have one thing in common.

None work effectively, without complete transparency from the adult first. Kids give respect when it is modeled for them. Not forced respect either. Not they are afraid you will yell at them or beat them respect. I mean genuine respect, which unlocks the door for all the parenting books and ideas you want. Until you have that, its like sucking air through a very thin straw..

 

Hope this helps. It works!

 

tj

 

 

 

 

 Facebook Users Need Addiction and Behavioral Health Treatment too..Big Time..Let’s Bring Them Home..

Dont Label My Kid! Will Be Offering Services For Everyone Soon. 

Facebook Alone Has 50k people seeking treatment. You all can be a resource to them by reaching out to the groups , people you know on FB. As it has been here for the four years we’ve been in existence,  we as a group are going to establish and  initiate a major change and offer resources for people like us who need help but couldn’t find it  As mentioned earlier I’ve already talked to providers that have experienced success the way that we know it needs to be and are interviewing and in the process of inserting them into our group. Then we can reach out to them and anybody else. Folks you and I know there’s reasons for the failure rate in treatment one of the major reasons is that there’s not any input from the actual client you and I need to be having input that’s what makes success the other component is individualized care and treatment per person no cookie-cutter method that’s what we’re going to bring..Please reach out to your Facebook friends and let tht of us already know the success rates of rehabs are  about 30% which is pathetic but most of the rest of the world doesn’t. We need to let them know to come to us so we can give them hope that they will get a higher percent of success rate.  That’s what this is about . Connect them to follow us or give them my email.  tim@dontlabelmykid.com

⚫ Facebook Needs Addiction and Behavioral Health Professionals..We can do it. I  have never been more serious and any post of ever written out of 400 on this Blog then I am right now if you’ve ever been to rehabs that have failed and been through withdrawals and suffering and misery and depression save some of these people from that and bring him to us so we can get him some real help. Will you get a chance to make a major difference in the direction of a treatment in an entire system United States and even the world we have that opportunity right now and just like always I want all of us to be included it’s not about me it’s about all of us helping us and everybody else too.

 if you don’t know anybody in Facebook below is a list of I believe over 40,000 people in nine different groups you could contact the leaders of the groups and let him know that we are here.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/facebook-needs-addiction-behavioral-health-charles-davis

No Offers To Help From The Vatican Yet- Hmm . I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

Check This Out- Heck We Could Work Full Time Jobs Forever Just To Shut This Down-

Go Big- Or- Go HOME!!!

Hmm-sounds fair. — Am I wrong here?  WOW-if it wont open I will fix- gotta go

 

Wow already 5 countries have hit me but sadly not Italy-

Oh, wait- that’s right they are trying to BAN police from knowing about any rapes. They promised to investigate- THOROUGHLY-

SCOUTS HONOR!- OH WAIT CANT USE THAT ONE-

You all have got me so fired up my blood is boiling – and I feel like I am waking up from a 20 year coma. When this whole thing is said and done — don’t go anywhere because you will never ever ever believe how all the pieces through the years have made a way to this day. Now it is the rubber meets road and I feel the need for SPEED!

I don’t know exactly how this will specifically unfold but I am telling you now so whenever it does I want you see- the rest..of the story all the way back. I mean you will freak out.

Thanks again-

tj

Romans 8:28 and Jeremy Camp- I still believe.

Those are the 2 things I spoke and listened to every day 20 years ago..that was just the beginning – and man I cant wait to see the ending.

ATTENTION! NEED JUST ONE MORE PIECE! LETS FINISH THIS RIGHT!

Thank you thank you so very much for re-blogging my brothers story. To my amazement this has taken it to yet another level, making it harder for the pedi-priest to slide out of this deal. I NEED TODAY this.

A consultant, businessman, investor, with some media knowledge and who is interested in what may become a very big and wide open investigation to include national syndicated talk shows and all media. Its sitting on the table.

I have not a minute for posers or anyone who has any other intention then to expose the ENTIRE CULT of pedi-priests in general. Of course after watching my brothers killer be locked up. It may involve books media and much else. I have spent 4 years writing about all this praying that one day this freak and others would be exposed.

Please only contact me if you have resources, negotiation skills with media and publishing and other. Financially you will never worry about your investment as we will do this if an agreement is made that is suitable. I can sell my book tomorrow and get paid because my brother is the one in this case involved. But why stop there? I have the connections to put national deals that would turn on a national spotlight long term on ALL these guys.

So if I find the right partner, we will go that route and hopefully make a HUGE dent in this ring. If not I will sell my own story, be happy Gondek is locked up and move on.

We can nab him- and thanks very much.

Or..there are these guys-

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=picture+of+priests+being+arrested&FORM=HDRSC2&adlt=strict

Anyone else want to vomit?

 

That’s just the bottom line- me – right?? LOL

What is meant to happen will. Thanks to y’all who stepped up. It just took one and I am one step away from immediate and total focus on this. If I wait too long the next news story will get the chance I have. I have 24-48 hour window to at least solidify a partnership.  From there I can secure any national show I feel like it. That, would be awesome. So thanks and if you or someone in your crew that you trust and has what I need contact me 24 hours around the clock starting 6pm tonite. I will be lining up media as I talk to people and Y’all will understand if it works this way –

contact me by email or text first with any reservations-tjpetri16@gmail.com and text 386-675-7549- If you happen to know that you know that you know this is for you if you feel me -just call asap. Praying.

. If you already see and know and have experience in this and want in just call. I really just need a professional to handle all the negotiation and financials and things I don’t even want to know about. If you do your part the opp to pull in long term media to keep this crime exposed is also there. Its truly one of those one of a lifetime deals. The media has to stay with what is hot. Right this moment it is this. It wont be long.

Love you all for helping-

tj

 

 

 

On Death And What Happens After…( Yeah, I Think About It)

Everyone talks about  their life and what is happening in it. I am often at the store or at some public place when I will hear a couple of people talking about what is going on in their life these days, or how the kids are and what their latest interests are. Everyone talks about life and all that it has to offer, yet I often find myself thinking about death and how that plays into things. I mean lets face it, life is interesting, but isn’t the big mystery what is happening after death? If you have ever been to a funeral, and seen a body you know that something is missing in  there, right?

I have been to quite a few funerals and maybe that is part of why I often think about death, or maybe I just am one who chooses not to suppress the thought. Maybe I am one who really wants to know what is going to happen when our body stays and our spirit goes. Where does the spirit go after all? The Bible says that if we are absent from the body we are present with the Lord. Of course this only applies to believers in Christ according to the words of the Bible. In John 14:6 Jesus says ” I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the father except by me” . These words are pretty straight forward, and leave little to the imagination. The question I think most people have, is whether this Jesus was a liar, the Lord, or a lunatic?

We live in a world that is full of religions and cults and all kinds of people claiming to know about the afterlife. But I never wanted religion, or cults, I wanted to know about this God. If the Bible was true then there was one God only and one mediator between God and man, Christ Jesus. I read back in the Old Testament in Isaiah the description of how the messiah who God was to send would die. It describes the death of Christ to every detail, right down to what bones will break and how people will treat him at his death. Considering that the book of Isaiah was written some 800 years before the birth of Christ, this really peeked my interest.

Still, as I look at the world today, I see more of a rebellion towards the idea of God, rather than a rejoicing that He is and we have a savior in Christ. As a matter of fact, many people today who call themselves atheists are actually using there own money to try and hide the crosses that are up in public, and stop schools from displaying Bibles or having prayer. This really confused me a few decades ago, but I get it now. The idea is to suppress any hint of God, or Jesus or the cross, and maybe people will forget that they are there!

I guess it might fool a few, but how would this affect eternity, and there decision about Jesus, and His statement on being the only way to the Father? It doesn’t. They still face the same God they attempt to hide, and will bow to the savior of the world, the king of kings, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. At least that is what the bible says. So what is the point of running from the God who made us or worshipping false gods, idols, or people that are dead? Is it to live a life here on earth free of conviction to sin? Free of guilt? No accountability for me? I guess that is why some refuse to believe, but I have asked others why they don’t. The answers I get are interesting. Some tell me that we came from a fish, and we have been around for billions and billions of years. When I ask for any sign of a transitional fossil or some evidence of what we once were, they change the subject. Once in a while I get the ” all paths lead to heaven” answer which always disappoints. As soon as I ask for some documentation of this theory, we talk football. There is the  ” I wont serve a God who lets bad things happen” theory, but it leaves me begging the question ” If you wont serve Him, does He owe you a free pass or something when you die?

What I often wonder is what will everyone do if the Bible is right, it is the Word of God, and Jesus really is the only way to heaven? I can only say what my experience is. Before I do, I want to be sure to stop any potential whiners right here and now. I am not pushing Jesus on you. I am simply sharing my experience and in my case I happen to be a Christian. If I was a Buddhist I would be sharing the beliefs of the Buddha.  The point of this post is to consider what we all think and when we all think about life after death.

If we don’t think about life after death, does it have to do with our belief system? If we are strong in our faith, we may be confident enough to talk about it. If we are not so sure about what we believe then we likely will avoid the issue. However in this particular case and topic, is avoiding the issue really prudent? Is that even an option? If we are talking about the entire eternal state, and if there is even a chance that we could have some choices to make that will determine our outcome, how can anyone in their right mind just treat it casually? I sure could not, and I am solid in my beliefs and I still consider my beliefs on a daily basis. I consider my faith to be the most important thing in my life. The order of my existence is God, family, work.

I have lived long enough to know the following is true about my beliefs; people come and go, jobs come and go, relationships come and go, health comes and goes, moods come and go, money comes and goes, but God, is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. For me, this is what I have learned in my life. Therefore for me, I have 100% of my security in the Lord. I have 100% of my identity in the Lord. This way my security and my identity does not change as often as the wind blows like many people I see in the world today. I have pity for those who live and die by the approval of others. The people who are happy if people approve of them, and distraught when people do not approve. This is the definition of an insecure existence. The only way  got out of that life, was to decide to please my God, the creator, not the creation.

I also run into the occasional earth child, who loves the sun, the moon, the stars, and will lay down on the sand to protect a sea turtle, but will not miss a beat while human babies are being sliced alive at the old clinic. This amazes me, but so do the earth people who gather tree bark as a sacrifice and scatter it under trees while chanting some hippie song and dancing a jig in the moonlight. The occasional joint can be found on the premises as well, after all it is a natural drug, Gods own weed. So the earth people I guess have decided that the creation has powers, but no creator necessary. Mother earth is real but father God is not. I have my own theory on why this is the case. I truly believe that the reason the creation gets all the pub is because the creation cannot hold the humans accountable for anything, where as the creator would be able to. Less accountability is the popular choice.

At the end of the day, I believe humans are much more likely to grab hold of any religion or belief system that requires little or no accountability then to embrace a God who requires choices that have consequences attached. I even can relate to the concept, it is easy to handle. However, I have such a hard time with this one issue that has to do with reality versus wishful thinking. I like to think if myself as a reasonable man, who considers all options before making decisions. I try not to base my decisions on what would feel best for me, but what would seem the most likely to be the truth. In my case, I mentioned earlier that I did not become a believer in Christ based only on the Bible. I actually took what the words of the Bible said and tested them out. For example, the Bible says that anybody who seeks God, will find Him. I decided to call out to the Lord. I called out to the name of Jesus and repeated what the words in the Bible say He will do if I called on Him. I got an answer. My life started to change, my circumstances began to change, my desires began to change and the my mind began to change. Once I understood that there was real change happening , it was no longer a question of if God was real, but whether or not I would serve Him. Honestly it was a no brainer, who would say no to the living God?

 

The strangest thing that I see as a Christian, by far is the refusal by all non believers to take the challenge that I have offered to anyone from atheists to Mormons to Jehovahs Witnesses, to moonies. From agnostics to psychics and witches to Satanists. The challenge is this. When I am confronted by a non believer in Christ who wants to debate the Bible, history, maybe the big bang or evolution, I simply challenge them to call on the name of the Lord, and see of He responds. To say with an open heart and mind, Jesus, if you really are the son of God, the king of kings and lord of lords, who died and rose from the dead for my sins, and are the only way to heaven, then I ask you to reveal yourself to me, to show me you are real, and I will serve you the rest of my days. Believe it or not, in all the years I have issued this challenge, not one soul has been willing to try it. I have come to believe that most people do have an idea of what is truth, but the truth is not in style these days.

 

Tj

 

Suicide Solutions to bullying on the rise with teens.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/mother-sues-school-board-over-daughters-suicide/-/1637132/22623824/-/jpmksc/-/index.html

This is a very sad story, and we had a recent girl do the same thing. How much is their peer influence and how much is lack of parenting? Today people are blaming anything from video games to teachers for their kids’ suicide. Do you think this really traces back to the security or lack of it the child had growing up?