Addiction 2018- Results!
Addiction 2018- Results!
There is no better way to get any hope of recovery from Addiction than to see that others have made it. If you are in any way connected to Addiction, watch this and restore your hope.
If I told you just a few of the horror stories of drug rehabs and the goings on in there you may think I was crazy. I am speaking truth and this pitiful example is just one of hundreds or more of centers just in Florida that are either serving up heroin to their addicts or doing anything to keep billing insurance.
I’ll be posting some other examples and sadly most are in my home state of Florida but it does happen everywhere. Click the blue link to see the scumbag of the year .
If you are or have ever suffered from an addiction and fought the disease until you felt like you would never win, you understand that you were not the only one affected. As a matter of fact the impact on loved ones is traumatic. It destroys relationships and hurts everyone involved. But addiction is a disease, so should that fact play into it? Would you be angry at your family member if they had cancer or diabetes and it took a toll on the whole family?
This is a question that goes into the minds of every family and every addict. It’s a very difficult question to answer, but there are some absolutes either way.
First there are no addicts that don’t regret the pain they caused. There are no addicts that don’t wish they could take all the pain and suffering that they’ve caused and make it go away. Some may vocalize it and verbalize it in different ways and others may not even talk to other people about it but that’s the truth.
Next, there are no families of addicts who don’t have some resentment towards their loved one for the pain that they’ve suffered. No matter whose fault or whether it is a disease or not, it does not make the pain any easier to bear.
So how should the addict feel about that pain that they’ve caused others while fighting the disease they have? And what can they do about it if anything? They need to do something and here’s why;
Addiction unlike other diseases often has behaviors associated with it that drastically and dramatically affect family members and loved ones.
Like stealing, lying, cheating, even physically harming others. These are some behaviors that do not often occur with other diseases like cancer or many others. Two things must be in place in order for this to work. First there must be a genuine desire on behalf of the addict to help heal those that they harmed. Second there has to be a willingness on behalf of the hurt people to forgive and to genuinely forgive. If those two components don’t exist there is no possibility for a new start for that family.
In groups like AA and NA ( which I am not a big fan of) there is a step to ” make amends” with those you have hurt. However saying your sorry is rarely enough. There needs to be a mutual willingness to work together to heal a sa family. This can occur through therapy effectively. It can also help tremendously if the family of the addict comes to terms with the fact that nobody wants to be an addict. They must also come to terms with the fact that addiction has been scientifically proven to be a disease. A great resource for families to understand the details of this is the Recovery Research Institute.
I encourage all families to study this site and become educated on addiction before deciding how to address the addict in your family. It is the leading tool for cutting edge information on the disease of addiction.
So does the addict have an out, because it is a disease? Is this what I am implying? No I am not at all. I am saying however that it is a two-sided street to recovery for the family affected by addiction. If you are a family that relies on guilt, shame, embarrassment, or similar tactics, you are likely driving your loved one closer to suicide than being able to quit their addiction.
Any addict would do anything possible to avoid and eliminate pain they have caused their loved ones. But they must be given the opportunity to help in the healing process. You, as a family must engage and become familiar in what to do, how to talk to your addicted loved one, and what boundaries to draw and what ones not to.
Even is an addict gets clean, if there is nothing but resentment and anger from their family then no healing is possible.
During the course of serious addiction there may be good cause to remove the addict from the house due to any threats of harm to the family or other issues. That may have to be part of the process. That does not mean there won’t be a day that you all can be reunited. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Addiction is a cruel and dirty rotten disease. It takes no prisoners and steps on anyone in it’s path. It can literally break hearts without even trying. It is straight from the pit of hell in my opinion and it hurts way too many people today. The sadder news is that the success rate of addiction treatment centers ion the USA is around 10%. Yep – you read right, 10%.
It takes alot of work and effort for the addict to get well because we do not serve them very well. And groups like AA tend to reinforce to the addict that they are powerless to do anything about their addiction. That is why they also enjoy a 10% success rate. I will note that faith based rehabs and treatment centers do actually have rates of success as high as 80% but not all are willing to allow God into their recovery.
I am not telling you to feel sorry for the addict and ignore their destructive behavior patterns. I am telling you that they want out as much as you want them out. So treat them like the diseased person they are. I cannot tell you how harmful to the recovery of an addict when they have no family support. I have sat in groups both as a patient long ago and as a professional for 20 years and listened to addicts cry about how their family has given up on them. You know what? Most of them give up on themselves too.
So although this is a brief post when it comes to addiction, I think its worth leaving it right here because this is such a critical part of helping an addict to het through recovery. Family support. When you go to the Recovery Research Institutes website you will find all kinds of resources like what language to use when talking to an addict, and many other valuable tools that can expedite recovery,
Remember, nobody – not one person on this earth wants to be an addict.
Please share this link or post with anyone you may know in Florida who needs support!
Light is dim in my eyes. Each day for most of my life I struggle to find some purpose to keep trying when so many of my efforts have failed.
My heart is good and motives pure, but the cloud still follows my every step. “Snap to it” they say…pull your bootstraps up and be a man. If they only knew. If they could only know what a struggle it is to get dressed each day. Why? What have I accomplished in my time to push me onwards? Addiction? Depression? Divorce?
That cloud- I’ve pushed and shoved and shot bullets from my gun at. I’ve reached as high as I could to grab it and burn it. I just want to feel the sunlight touch my brain. I wonder what it’s like.
I watch people intently. Seeking some nugget to their state of bliss and happiness, while I am still feeling it’s no use. Die, I think to myself. That life just isn’t for you. ..
Even my own family looks at me with dismay and maybe disgust. They wonder why I ” chose ” this path “. “Smile!” They say. Whats wrong with you? Others take time to capitalize on my misery, my failures. Dragging my history up, to make their own seem so much better.Don’t they know I didn’t ask for this? I don’t know a single soul who ever desired to be depressed, addicted, ashamed or embarrassed.
It’s lonely in the dark shadow of the cloud. Many times have I been excited to try a new medicine, a new way , a new will power high – only to drop even lower then I was to begin with. Surely God is punishing me. I better take to heart these whispers, murmurs, accusations, and mocking . Maybe they are right. So I add their handmade burdens to my already overweight load.
Where are my ” cover up an offense” friends? Why does it feel like I have been written off as a failure by them? Maybe I am, and maybe those thoughts of giving up deserve a second chance. I look up and notice the cloud again. I cannot lose it or shake it off my case.Its my mental nemesis.
So I go into God’s house. Perhaps peace can be found here. Indeed it can. However that cloud came into church with me. That is not fair! How can darkness and light dwell together? Let my mind rest just an hour I think . Self medicate, take control I think. Whatever it takes just get a moment or two of sanity .
But that dark cloud is only fueled more by the things I do to escape. Would God not forgive me if I took my life? I wonder… Stupid , stupid and more stupid I remind myself. That can’t be the answer.
I listen to the advice, take in the exhortation, swallow the spit coming at me from those around me. Those who have never endured this level of pain. They so easily spew vitriol and even laugh at my struggling. I cannot find rest from the torment of this cloud. My eyes burn from looking at the fan on the ceiling all night long as others sleep. I feel the cool sensation of drops of water running down my face, and I insist they are from the fan burning my eyes. But those tears come from above – from that cloud via my eyes. Sleep is elusive, rest not known. My head aches from thinking. I realize I am miserable. It’s lunchtime. No appetite again. Heck I haven’t even showered in 4 days.
Who can I call to comfort me? Nobody. Not one. All have turned away when things went bad for me. I need a friend who will run to me in my darkness, not away from me!
I pray that God would ” fix” it. But He doesn’t listen to my order so I become bitter . Perhaps ” gaawwd” doesn’t exist.
I want to get so high right now. Burn it down tonite and act like tomorrow’ won’t show up. Maybe a few pills, a bottle, a woman? Something must work.
But they don’t satisfy and I still see my shadow as I pace from the cloud above me . I feel so alone and isolated my soul is much older than I. My life has attempted to steal any sunshine that may come my way. I hate myself . I don’t deserve to live. ..
What a stupid thing to think. ..
Im here for a reason. I was made for a purpose and designed in a way that not one other in billions are. That may explain my past when I was helpful to others. I was happy for a brief time but even my superior called me a “wounded healer”. It’s that obvious? See, I am messed up. I wonder if it stands out? I wish people would just leave me alone. No, wait, come and love me. I need love.
I liken myself and any hope of victory to the same hope water has as it comes to a halt at huge rocks, interrupting the flow. Somehow the water always gets through that rock. But it is not due to the strength of the water. It’s due to it’s persistence that a way is made to go right through giant canyons.
Perhaps I have persisted as well but given up before the breakthrough. The cloud is not going anywhere if I stand still.
So I keep putting my head down, scars, dents and bruises . I keep persisting. I don’t have to give that cloud so much attention either. My strength, be it little must go into the breakthrough.
I don’t know what tomorrow may bring . But for today anyway, I’ve got a plan.
Im done thinking my way through lunchtime.
I won’t quit and I won’t give in to darkness when light is available. I wonder if my attention to the cloud has weakened the power of the light I need so desperately.
Then that thought ” who are you to talk God? You are fooling yourself calling yourself a believer. Look at your problems!
Nope. Im not buying that lie of the cloud.
Again today God forgive me for doubting . Each day these thoughts pass through my mind and each day You draw me back to truth no matter what my cloud says.
Let’s talk again soon. My day is only half over I don’t want to overthink anything not of you. I’ll be back soon to remind myself of you and the promises you gave me ..I know in just a few short hours I will need it again.
It seems like we would be past this by now but we really are lagging. Although it’s been many years since science and the medical community confirmed that addiction, like diabetes is a disease, society has chosen to continue to address those stricken with substance related disorders as ” abusers” .
Why is it critical that we not allow this to continue? Because calling someone an abuser may actually stop one from getting help. It implies a category of failure, not wanting help. It gives the impression that the person did something wrong therefore became an abuser.
If you are in any way involved in the life a person with a substance disorder, this article is crititical in being a help not hurting.
Watch this short video on an actual chain gang prison -and share how you feel .
The times we look out a window and wonder what it is that all those people have in their lives that gives them the audacity to smile. Who said its fair that I have to avoid most people simply because I don’t have what it takes to return a smile or answer a question like ” how are you “.
I don’t even know how I will open my mouth at lunch to take a bite of a sandwich, that is if I eat today.
It all seems kind of rude honestly. It seems like a sick pathetic joke that I have to fight myself just to get dressed and out the door to work while everyone else seems to be chirping away like birds in the spring. All the while I’ll bet I’m the only one who has to waste time on a shrink that does me no good.
What a moron I am. Seriously . I’m at a crossroads these days about the whole ” god ” thing as well. I feel on the brink of just pronouncing a “no god” allowed in my life statement out of my anger, or maybe do like many are doing and turn atheist.
The other day I was so angry at God that I played every song on Ac/Dc’s Hells Bells album 5x and played “Sympathy For The Devil” by Jagger and them like half dozen times. Maybe if God was real He could feel a little pain for once.
But that’s when my friend told me that he had the same feelings as I did months ago, and started meetimg with this cool new spiritual enlightenment group of people my age. They decide what “god” they will actually become! How awesome is that?
He told me that lots of people were trying to get in the group but he could get me in. He told me not to pay attention to the naysayers..they were just jealous.
When I told my shrink about my new found friends he starting asking me if I was hearing any voices or anything . Wow, this guy thought I made it all up! What a loser! I’m pouring my heart out and smiling for the first time in a year and he has to be the dream killer.
Just a month later the group moved away but didn’t tell me. I’m so depressed . I’m not sure I have any reason to go on. I’ve no girlfriend, no family., no real friends, and all I want to do is go get high .
I went down by the prairie path which is a little trail inbetween hundreds of acres of orange groves. That’s where you get whatever drug you need down here. The dealers basically set up shop in the middle and no cops can see them, hear.them or find them . Just too many ways out. I scored some zanny bars, a bag or two of H, and a few oxy 80s…
Then, I Bounced back home to a nice empty house to chillax..
I figured once I was good and ragged out all the pieces would come together for me. So I stayed high for 3-4 days or so. Noboby knew, my parents were on an anniversary trip and hell I’m 19 anyway. I can roll with whoever I please.
About a week later I felt the shake of a strong hand, and when I looked up from the floor I was passed out on, I saw my dad looking down at me with tears rolling down his face. He saw my needles other junk and smelled me since I hadn’t showered. I was ready for it all. The old ” get outta my house ” screams , and the belittling that I saw on television all the time between parents and their children.
But it never came. Just some amazing grace As a matter of fact, my father looked into my eyes and never took his eyes off mine. He began to weep and put his arms around me. He asked me if there is anything he could do for me or get right now. I knew my father was a strong Christian and we never had any major fall outs before, but I didn’t expect this when he caught me using drugs in his house. I did not expect absolute 100% unconditional love and mercy. But I learned later on that its that very save unconditional live that should be drawing people to their heavenly Father.its the key that unlocks our desire to obey.
We embraced for several minutes without saying a word and soon my father said to go pack a bag. “I want to take you somewhere.”
A little while later and we were off driving away in his jeep, I had no idea where we were going to go, but as we begin to drive, he began to explain to me. Where you are, headed. he said ” i’ve never had the problems that you have right now ” and dont know what it feels like.
But whatever you need and wherever we have to go, I’ll be by your side, I’ll never leave you from the beginning of this journey until it’s over. Hours later we ended up at a log cabin way up in the mountains that his buddy owned and let him use for the weekend.
We spent some time there just him and talking about life about how we felt about God, about problems and how today’s world is a very difficult. But again even though he let me vent about how I felt and how my problems felt so big- he didn’t pretend to understand them but he was desperately trying to find somebody who did.
He made a promise to me that day that he wasn’t going to leave my side during the entire ordeal as long as it took for me to feel better. He was going to find somebody with inside information on the process of mental health and addiction. A person that could minister to me better than anybody else.
we spent quite a bit of time in that cabin and he did find me somebody that I could relate to and we did work through many of the issues- it did make me feel a whole lot better. Not cured , but much better . Not finished yet but I possessed something I had not in a long time..
All the learning I did those weeks with the help of a person who had been through it, I can truly say that it was just a few paragraphs spoken by dad to me at the end of our trip that have stuck with me and saved me from falling into deep depression again..
Dad said this;
Money comes and goes, jobs come and go. Health comes and goes , cars too. Even relationships , spouses come and go while on this earth. Look for peace and hope in those and you will live a rollar coaster life.
But the Lord is the same yesterday , today and forever!
If you put all your security, trust and hope in Him, you will never do without peace.
And now in closing I.present you all with the entire point of this post.
What, oh what can we offer to those in distress as told above if we ourselves don’t have the peace of the Lord to share? Nothing eternal, nothing any bigger then the latest mind over matter seminar , correct?
The answer to the title of this post is HOPE.. For without HOPE where does the strength to go on come from ?
(*Note this is part 2/3 in a post about Faith, and how it pertains to Addiction and Mental health. Please see home page for the part one posted two days ago.)
The first part of this post was about determining who is going to be in charge in your life, and your circumstances whether good, bad or ugly. This part of the post for those who have chosen to surrender it all to the Lord Jesus Christ, whether that be years ago, recently, or just now as you have read the first post on this. ( If you have just received Christ or rededicated yourself as a result of this post, please leave a comment so I can reach out to you personally)
*I have added a 3rd and final post which will be the final post after this one.
Now that you who are reading this likely know who your ” Captain” is in Jesus, what exactly does this mean for your situation in mental health or the addiction you have been fighting for 15 years? Just because you are a Christian, now all things will get better and your diseases will disappear? What are these “promises” I keep hearing about?
Maybe these are some of the questions on your mind. I am going try to answer the most important ones, and answer them from my personal testimony and life experiences . My goal is to let you in on the reality of what God does and does not promise when it comes to our sickness and addictions, and also what you can truly expect from trusting 100% in God’s Word for every circumstance you find yourself in.
I am going to make some statements that might sound a little different then some you have heard about the topics we discuss. You see I am not theorizing here. Everything I tell you is something I have walked through personally in almost every case, and in the rare instant I did not, I either worked with a population who fit in that group or have special training in the area. I have been labeled or diagnosed both officially and unofficially with more than 6 ” disorders ” ranging from PTSD to Major Depression to Addiction . All the while I was getting trained as a Social Worker and working in the field as well. I got my share of experience. I like to think of my time in rehab and at meetings, along with half a dozen doctors, as ” internships ” to help me be a great Social Worker. Yeah, I like to.
For the entire time I struggled with trauma as a young child to addiction beginning as a teen, I would have always considered myself a Christian. I had no problem believing that I was a sinner who needed a savior and that Jesus took care of that at the cross.
Mom prayed & kept a journal each morning. Years later I realized the impact it had.
I understood bits and pieces of the Christian life an even saw great examples of faith in actions through my mother, who was always ( and still does) up at the crack of dawn sitting on the couch having her devotional time, and always writing more and more in her prayer journals. I also witnessed enough of real Christians to know that God was real and there was a difference in those who were faithful believers and those who were still chasing ” the fish learned to walk and became a man 50 billion years later ” stories, or in those who simply did not feel the need to make God a priority at the time.
As I entered adulthood I was very fortunate to have a few key people who God put in my way to get me from point A to point B. Then He put 1 or 2 very unique people that were more of mentors and still are. I described my life as a teen a someone who was a Christian, and knew God was real and all. Honestly other than the fact that we went to church, I never saw or felt much of a difference between me and the non believer. Really until I was in my late 20’s or so I thought there was one benefit of being saved -heaven. Don’t get me wrong, I was not complaining! I just did not see any other benefits other than eternal life with God.
When I went to college for social work, my brother had recently killed himself without any warning and also I had lost both my grandparents. So we had 3 funerals kind of close together for people who were in my very small inner circle of family. I went in kind of starting a new chapter in my life as I was also starting a 5 year career at Father Flanagan’s Boys Town. Somewhere between baggage of my childhood, my ongoing addiction issue, the pressures of a new job and college were really getting to me. So, what did I do?
I got married and started a family to add to those things! Wow. I really had it out for myself.
About 5 years into my career and after I graduated from college, I felt something beginning to crack in me. I was trying to handle all the pressures which already were overwhelming, I could not without wanting to use alcohol to cope. Then came the divorce and not being with my 2 boys each night anymore. That tore me apart.
So many pressure laced things were happening to me, some self-induced and some just life, that I rarely could ever even speak to anyone about it. They would become so overwhelmed by just me sharing a few examples that I could tell they were not ready to hear all of my real struggles. On top of that my ex is 100% narcissistic and totally used each one of my failures to somehow make her a victim or regain the spotlight in any way possible. Little things like getting arrested for DUI were impossible to hide from her. Imagine. She had word out that I had been running with the mafia or something. At this point in my life I was absolutely stripped of anything I had ever had, material or emotionally, and could not put one foot in front of the other. I ended up in my first alcohol/ drug rehab. ( oh, I mean internship).
Through a series of events God aligned me with the person who would serve as a spiritual mentor in a way I was not used to. My mother demonstrated faith to me. This friend of my mother’s was brought to me for an entirely different purpose. I was going to see how a person lives their lives according to Gods Word. This lady had and still has been disciplined enough to spend several hours each day studying the Bible.
I remember calling her many many times asking for advice, which she refused to give. The answer always went like this ” Well, you know what the Word says about that ” – I was like ” Oh no I don’t ! I would not even know where to look. You mean they talk about real life stuff in there? ” That was around 20 years ago, and it was the beginning of a life long journey I am still on . It was as if one day that dusty old Bible of mine came alive and became relevant and very important to my decisions. After a year of her mentoring me, it occurred to me that ALL of life’s issues are answered in there. Man I could have saved myself some real heartache! Even though this post is about mental health and addiction, I assure you that the Word of God is absolutely infallible and always the best resort for any life decisions.
Once we get to the place where we have the revelation deep down that the Word really is God breathed, we must also understand that we must know that Word in order to activate it. When you and I became believers, every promise in that book is available to us and us only. The problem is, just as with any gift given us, if we do not reach out to take it and use it, it is of zero value. So it goes with the bible. Now that you got all of the above, it is time to find out where in this Word my needs right now are addressed. My worry, my anxiety, my addiction, etc. These are all addressed and we have specific instructions. Lets take worrying for example. One of my favorite verses on this topic is in Proverbs 3:5-6 ” Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight “.
So when you start worrying you now have an alternative to go to. A real life (not mind over matter) word from God on how to handle it. Next you must learn to substitute the promises God gives for all the negative self talk like ” I am sooo worried I think I will have a heart attack ” You would be shocked at how many people speak their way into sickness because they refuse to control their tongue. It is critical that once you know the specific word for your situation, you recite it aloud whenever you can to remind yourself of the truth. Of what God says about your situation, regardless of how it looks either.
The final post will be on specific scripture and promises for those sick, including addiction and mental illness. The final post is your blueprint for freedom from bondage – Gods way and His timing. I will post it no later than Sunday, two days away.
As predicted, we continue to be blessed with people who fit right into our mission and who have very special gifts and talents to offer. To round out the Don’t Label My Kid! team, we are very proud to call Jenny our 4th team member. Jenny has already accomplished much for the good of people struggling with addictions, and we expect even greater things as we work together to provide the very best options for people needing assistance, Please check out her site ( link at bottom page) and get familiar with publication!
Jenny Clark has worked in the Health Care Industry for over 11 years, specifically Chemical Dependency for over 6 years. Her experience includes Peer Counselor, Intake Coordinator, Admissions and Marketing at several different health departments and treatment centers over the last 11 years. She has assisted in the development of a new treatment center on the treasure coast establishing the protocol for their admissions and business departments.
Her love for people and serving those in need has resulted in the development of All 4 Ur Addiction Referral Recovery Guide. This magazine/resource guide prints 10,000 copies quarterly to bring awareness and resources available to those who are suffering from addictions, mental health issues and trauma and their families who are affected by this disease. You will find services such a treatment facilities, in and out patient treatment centers, detoxes, sober living facilities, nutritionists, financial advisors, life coaches, educational resources, support groups and monthly sober activities, as well as legal representatives, therapists, helplines and much more. We will be sharing more about this as we go forward and hope to squeeze an article or two out of her too!
Again, we are excited to partner with Jenny and encourage you to visit her site at www.all4uraddiction.com.
As you all know I am extremely cautious about who I recommend to people when it comes to mental health, therapy and addiction. As a matter of fact in 4 years I think this may be the first time I’ve posted anything for you that I fully trusted as accurate. You may remember recently I did however post a copy of a LinkedIn post where there were 83 different opinions all from addictions specialists about how to treat 1 person. That is scary..
..Dr.Kelly and his Institute do excellent and trustworthy work, not influenced by any drug companies or the like. Feel free to read through their site..