You Are Who You Hang Out With…

You Are Who You Hang Out With...

Once, many years ago I was talking to a man that I considered to be a mentor to me, and many others. He had lived a rough, tough life, he had been busted and disgusted and broke as a joke many a time. Now he was through those storms, and was living a much better life. He had a great family, solid income and he was just good people in general.
We were talking about my life and I began telling the many stories and tragedies that I had so well memorized and embedded in my soul for such a time as this. Shortly into my presentation, he politely interrupted me and asked me two questions;

1- Tell me about the blessings in your life, the good things.

2- Who are your closest friends, people you spend the most time with?

Slightly confused, I asked him what these questions had to do with our conversation. He responded something like this ” It is all I need to know “. So I fumbled and stumbled before finally coming up with something good; ” I got a couple kids “. Then he pushed me for the names of the people I hang out with.

WHOA! Now he was getting a little personal!

After a few minutes sharing who I hung out with and what their lives were like, he made a statement to me that has stuck with me. He said ” I don’t really care about what you tell me, all I need to know is who you consider friends in order to determine who you are ”

He had some nerve. I mean who cares who I hang out with, and how could he determine anything about me from who I hang out with? I felt like saying ” I hang out with NUNNYA”- meaning NUNNYA business! I could not speak to him like that so I obliged and we discussed my posse for awhile.
He shared with me a story from his career in law enforcement, I think FBI or similar. He said whenever he wanted lots of information on someone, he would go meet his group of friends, sometimes never even meeting the person he wanted to know about. He said he was not meeting the friends for them to TELL him how the person was. He got his impressions from the people themselves, and gathered a profile of the person of interest from the type of people he spent time with.
I got his point…about 3 years later. I began to wonder why I was stuck in a rut. I did an inventory of who I spent time with and found out that they were composed of the following;

1- A dream killer
2- A Lazy person
3- A complainer
4- Another complainer
5- A hard worker

Needless to say, I realized I was not going to get anywhere in life by surrounding myself with average people. They were nice people, but average achievers. I needed to put myself around people that I dreamed of being like. People I looked up to. That was what the man was trying to tell me. Since that time I try to position myself around those I desire to be like, and it feels good. Put yourself around those people that will lift you up, not pull you down. You know who they are, and the ball is in your court. To some extent, you determine what you will become by who it is you have in your circle. Something to think about!

DLMK

Come Here Please!

Come Here Please!

“If you are the master be sometimes blind, if you are the servant be sometimes deaf.”

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“Pro-choicers”: here’s why you cannot support abortion while opposing puppy murder

Another excellent post by Matt Walsh- KILL BABIES – BUT NOT PUPPIES? Excellent job Matt!

DLMK-

***Florida Head Cop Covers For Child Molester – Chief Headed For Prison. ***

***Florida Head Cop Covers For Child Molester ***

Everyone knows the police occasionally turn their heads when they meet with petty, victimless crimes. How about a Police Chief in Florida who covered, and purged himself for a CHILD MOLESTER?
Unreal as it seems, it is true, and he is now headed to prison. How can we protect our kids when the “Head Protectors ” are on the wrong side?

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/exwindermere-police-chief-daniel-saylor-found-guilty-of-perjury/-/1637132/24056484/-/237nrj/-/index.html

DLMK

Sexual Offender Lives Across From School!

Sexual Offender Lives Across From School!

I am going to get a little personal and laconic here at the same time. First, I am not the judge of anyone. Second, I hold myself accountable just as my friends hold me accountable for things I say, or do etc…I realize that we all have things to work on, areas we could be better in. This is not a judgment, but I post this as a parent, a human being, a counselor who has seen the dark side and the consequences of what I am sharing here.

I understand (not condone) why people drink to excess. I understand (not condone) why people use drugs. I get why some people have quick tempers and even can see where people are taught to imitate certain negative behaviors as they grow up in households full of turmoil. I know and have worked with teens who join gangs, and I have come to relate to their situations (not condone).

With this said, I am about to say something I need to word carefully, as my emotions have already got me typing quickly and wanting to get this out there now. I have seen this in hundreds of my clients and even in my own family. The one area or type of behavior I cannot justify. I cannot rationalize. I cannot condone under any circumstance. The most vile, hideous, horrific action a person could take against another, and in this post not just another person, but babies and little children.

I wish I could spew another paragraph of vitriol about the people who do these things, but this is where the controlling my emotions part comes in. I am trying to maintain a casual, laid back approach to a problem that makes my blood boil. As a human it disgusts me. As a parent I would go to prison if one of mine were a victim. I have no problem saying that, and I would make sure anyone hurting my child in that way would suffer greatly. Long, and painful. So this is me being upfront about a subject that has affected many thousands each day, and is on the rise. Pedophilia. Sexual predators. I cannot trust anyone with my daughters anymore. I see a certain look in the eyes of the abusers, the ones I have met, and the ones on line that I keep an eye on. There is a different look in the eyes of those who prey on little children for sexual pleasure. It is a sickening look that makes one look in their eyes feel as if you were on the set of the exorcist-or maybe makes one feel like they are in the presence of a demon. People who rape and murder children CANNOT BE human…is what I think many times. At any rate, this is another example of how we set our kids up for failure, and these predators up for another round. We let these guys out early, let them work around kids, and pay more attention to white collar petty crimes than we do these monsters. If you have not watched an episode of Dateline MSNBC ” To Catch A Predator ” – you should commit to at least one episode. It will blow your mind. Here is an interesting article to ponder. What would you think?

High School Suspends Teen Porn Star…Good Call.

High School Suspends Teen Porn Star…Good Call.

 

An 18 year old Florida high school student was suspended after it was discovered that he was involved in on-line adult porn sites, as an actor. He is 18 and claims he did no wrong and did not break the law. He gets excellent grades and is never in trouble.

His own mother says he is being the  ” Man of the House ” by supporting her in this way. How do you feel about the school suspending him, do to being a  ” major disruption ” to others?

Here is a case of morality and disruption versus legal rights. But would YOU allow this if you were the school administrator or even the mother? I think it was a good call to suspend myself.

You Want To Know How Important Dads Are? Pretty Important To MVP Peyton Manning. CLICK FOR DETAILS.

You Think Dad’s Are Not Important? They Are To Peyton Manning!

What an unreal journey this guy had had. 2 years ago he was recovering from neck surgery, and now he is going to the Super-Bowl. But notice who he called when he needed his spirits lifted, when nobody knew if he would ever come back…

 

DLMK

Addiction- Why NA and AA Are Helping you FAIL at recovery.

First off, I want to mention that addiction is a very big part of today’s world, and recovery options are a plenty. Having been through the nightmare myself, and growing up around it, I will say that this article is not just an objective viewpoint. I have done my 30 in 30, my 90 in 90 and all the things that go with it over a decade ago when I was a drinker. I will share personal experiences as well as hard data that shows how people do little more than become better alcoholics and drug addicts while following secular 12 step programs. I exclude religious 12 step programs because the success rates are much different in many that rely on God for assistance.

So before you quit reading, I am simply pointing out facts, not my opinion here. When I was attending AA meetings, al I can recall is confessing out loud that I was stricken with this disease and I could not help myself. I was more convinced that ever that it was a hopeless cause and I would be a heavy drinker for ever. Yet I still obeyed the rules and went to the meetings faithfully, and hung out with 50 or 60 other depressed people awaiting their turn to confess out loud that they were a hopeless addict.

I have done a few pieces on this blog on why WORDS have the power of life and death in them. This, in my opinion, has 100% to do with why these programs fail at miserable rates, some say as high as 95%. Some even higher. Even the 1 person out of 100 that may end up clean has always attributed the victory to an outside support, such as a spouse, or God, or something other than earning plastic chips for staying clean another month. Am I really saying that NA and AA is a complete failure? I will let you read the article with the data to support it, so you can decide….please do take the time to see some of these amazing statistics on the subject. Again, this is not my opinion, so do not shoot the messenger! However if you or someone you care about is in a 12 step program, you really should read this and share with a s many as you can. It may just help them out of the  ” addicted to meetings ” cycle. please do share your comments and experiences, of course using supporting data provided, as a baseline. Thanks for checking this out and I hope and pray many will be affected and enabled by reading this!

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html

DLMK

Do American Parents Spoil Their Children?

Here is one viewpoint on how we are doing as parents. Do you think you spoil your children…?

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/03/18/bad-parenting-why-americans-need-to-toughen-up/

DLMK-

 

Glass House Syndrome

Glass House Syndrome

We all have our rocks in hand ready to throw . The problem we have in society today is that we are too busy collecting rocks to break someones glass. We forget that rocks can ricochet and often end up cracking our own glass houses. The only difference between me and you, and people with the inability to see, or hear or use the spoken word effectively is by the grace of God. It is prideful to think that we are where we are due to our great efforts and talents. Although these are required to achieve certain types of success, it is only a small part of success. Success is when we guard one another’s reputation, cover up an offense, protect and promote growth in others.
I have seen many people fall, and usually pride came before the plunge. I have also seen many success stories, and have found in most cases, the people in this category spent most of their time catching rocks aimed at other’s houses. Lifting others up, not cutting them down. Insecurity breeds jealousy, and jealousy behaves badly. If we are going to prop up our big glass houses while holding a hand full of rocks, then we are working against ourselves, not others. I think it is time to take a look at professional humility today. Make today a day of releasing rocks and lifting others up. Quit trying to take others down and instead, build them up.

If you need a friend, go be a friend to someone. If you need a job, go help someone find a job. If you need encouragement, go encourage someone today. Make a point of it. Our world, and workplace would be a much more enjoyable place if people all operated in humility, not pride. Humility lifts a person up, while pride comes before a fall.Maybe we need to consider dropping the clenched hand full of rocks, and use the hands to help someone in need today. When you see another in a very bad situation, a very tough spot, or facing vulnerability, you can do one of 2 things; run to them, or run at them. Before you decide to run at them, make sure you don’t have any cracks in your own glass. You see, we all have cracked glass. We just try to make other’s houses look worse than ours. My kids went through that stage when they were 6-8 years old. What are we thinking by doing this as adults? Not much about others, that is for sure. Drop the rocks, and run to someone today. You will feel a great release of all that weight which comes by storing up stones. Who can you reach out to today?

Why Are Professional Adults Acting Like Jealous School Children?

Those who enjoy their own emotionally bad health and who habitually fill their own minds with the rank poisons of suspicion, jealousy and hatred, as a rule take umbrage at those who refuse to do likewise, and they find a perverted relief in trying to denigrate them.
Johannes Brahms

We have all seen it or lived with it. Workplace jealousy. Your own professional peers are tearing you down as you are moving forward in your career or excelling at your task. I have been in that position recently and many times in the past and I have found that a few things are effective in dealing with it. First. you must be aware of what you are dealing with. Jealousy is a mental cancer, and you are not going to talk someone into supporting you. It is their baggage, and we cannot change what they have packed.

William Penn said this; “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves” We must realize that although they may not always present themselves in this way, People who have jealous tendencies are also suffering themselves. Although this may not make you feel any better about what they are saying or doing, it can take away some of the bitterness we might be likely to experience, Bitterness is to be avoided at all costs as it will lead to unforgiveness, which will end up holding us prisoner if we are not careful.

Finally, recognize jealousy for what it is; a compliment to your success. Embrace that as you continue to press forward, knowing that nobody is jealous of unsuccessful people so you must be doing something right! When possible, surround yourself with people who will lift you up and support what you are doing and who you are. These are the people that should make up your core group, not the jealous and insecure people.

i will close with this. To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter. If you have to be around these people in your workplace, laugh. Just laugh your way off the path to bitterness, lest you end up on the wrong side of jealousy yourself.

 

People it is time to TURN the page on the past! Start your new life today!

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! NOW GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

We have all been wounded, scarred, hurt, let down, hopeless, helpless, broke, lonely, tired, weary, scared, depressed and the list can go on. That is part of life as we know it. Today I felt like I should post an encouraging but truthful nugget for anyone who is down right now for any reason. Listen- there is a time to weep, a time to mourn, a time to be sad and a time to review the past so you can learn from it. However 90% of people who go through this normal process in life get hung up on one or two areas, and it becomes an anchor, locking them into the emotional bondage of past events, or mistakes. The result of this is an endless circle of pity, shame, hopelessness, and lack of motivation. What if I told you that starting today, you are ordered to turn your head to the future. No looking back. Make a decision to be happy. Make a decision to forgive anyone who has ever accused, abused or used you. Turn the page and be free of the past, be emptied of the heavy weight you have been carrying…
How do you do this? It is a matter of discovering a few keys that not many people understand. I will share a few with you to help you stand up, brush yourself off, and move forward.

1- People come and go, jobs come and go, health comes and goes, feelings come and go, and money comes and goes. People come and go out of your life all the. here is the first key to moving forward- NEVER PUT YOUR SECURITY IN ANY OF THOSE THINGS. You are simply waiting for a fall if you do. Its going to happen. So, if you believe in God, I would recommend putting ALL of your security in Him, and who you are in Christ. He said He will NEVER leave or forsake us, and unlike the things I mentioned above, He is the same yesterday, tomorrow and forever. That is security! All those other things are fine to have in life, but as ” gravy ” if you will. You will find that if you focus on the relationship with Him, all those other things get put in right perspective and you will not obsess over any of them.

Next, TURN THE PAGE on the past. Have you ever tried to walk forward while looking backward? I recommend you try it once. You cannot do it. Neither can you dwell on the past and move forward in your life. Never stumble on something behind you. How do you do this? You wake up one day and make the decision that you are now looking forward. The things you say, the thoughts you allow in and the actions you take MUST be helping you to move forward. Negativity has no place in moving forward. Today, is the first day of the rest of your life!

Lastly, Put yourself around those who you want to be like. Stay away form, and cut ties to anyone is is a pity party lover. Bad news, and will try to keep you down so they do not have to make any effort to move forward. Misery LOVES company. Go find some people you admire, people with peace, and joy. You will become what you put yourself around. READ MY TEXT! YOU WILL BECOME WHAT YOU PUT YOURSELF AROUND! Choose carefully who you hang with, and what things you do. If you want a good snapshot of what you look like now in your life, just take a look at your circle of friends. That IS you. If you do not like what you see, then pull the trigger and make new connections.

I realize this a very brief post for such a deep topic, but I promise you if you will do those simple things right now, your life will change for the better very soon. Money back guarantee! Do not stay in bondage to the past. If you need help working through some things then seek out someone to talk to who will keep you on track. You are going to be what you say you will be. So choose words carefully and speak out loud the things you are looking forward to accomplishing. Positive speak brings positive results, negative talk brings negative results. By the way, I did mention God in this post, so if you were offended, you can cross that line out and insert ” palm tree” or ” the universe” or whatever it is you call God.
Listen, I am available by consultation to help anyone through this transition into a happy existence. You dont need to spend thousands of dollars on doctors to get this done. I am trained in social work and have helped thousands of people over a hump in their life.

You got this, now go do it! Contact me for phone or skype consultation, at tjpetri@ yahoo.com-

DREAM KILLERS! Some People Want You To Fail…

DREAM KILLERS! Some People Want You To Fail...

Do you have any dream killers in your life? People who constantly try and sabotage your success? They LOVE to see you fail? They are insecure and you need to cut all ties.

Are you the one sabotaging your own success? People do it every day. You get close to success, and you blow it up before you taste victory. That can be caused by several things, but one common cause is the ” I don’t deserve success ” complex. Usually brought on by being made to feel overly guilty about some things in your life, that you won’t forgive yourself for. It is time to turn the page, brush the dust off and press ahead to the next goal.

Contact me for help! tjpetri@yahoo.com

God’s own Healers…? Faith and Doctors!

God’s own healers…

Do you think that it is a sin to be depressed, or address other mental health issues if you are Christian? Here is one take on who really needs to be looking for help, the church!

 

Amazing Grace. Take 5 To See What Real Compassion Is… It is # 3 after you click the link.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/12/07/benedict-cumberbatch-reads-r-kelly-ron-burgundy-interviews-peyton-manning-and-more-viral-videos.html

This is a picture of compassion for those with physical disabilities. It defines in 4 minutes what the world should be doing 24/7………Caring for one another.