adoption kid



Sometimes You Gotta Get Away…

  1. i lied

Whatever it may look like for you…get away.

Breaking News…Clergy Rejected On Proposed “Theme Song”..

(skip add on video screen)

(song is RUMOR by Lee Brice)

In recent news, a legal team for child protective services has rejected the proposal by the Catholic Church to make this recent chart topper their theme song for all events altar-boy related. The team cited that the church’s argument about using it to ” expose” teens ….to Country music..saying they believe the church wants to expose…but no.

Can Anyone Verify My Sanity? Am I The Only One Is Confused? Help!

I am at a loss for words. That is rare too..I just don’t get the logic. I am sharing a post I wrote on Linkedin…please click the blue link to read…comments welcome!

Libs-Kill the babies as they come out if you like.

Libs-Save the caterpillars!

Libs-Global Warming and radiation kills Americans-not Mexicans.

Libs-Jeffrey Epstein the human trafficker an child rapist should not be punished- Bill & Hillary C.

Libs-What priests?

How Numb, How Numb, How Numb I Have Become…

(* Warning: this post contains the words God, Jesus & may imply in general the existence of God…)

I really am not too sure how to put what I have to say, what I need to say in words, but it needs to be said. It could be an entire book, maybe volumes. I have lived my entire life wishing that I could find a way to ease the pain in my brain, the hurt in my heart. I have thought and prayed, fasted and studied, been prayed over, chastened, chastised and exhorted until the Agape love of the Bible has become to me the ” Sloppy Agape” because as much as people have given me their 2 cents, shouted their advice from the Christian peanut gallery or been willing to pray for me, I never have truly felt many actually knew me or my heart.

People tend to judge others. People often think what they see on the outside is always a direct reflection of what the person ” chooses” or desires for their life. The truth is, sometimes people are dealt hands in life that are just very heavy and eventually after enough sorrow, sadness, illness and overall struggle- they can easily begin a long cycle of crash and burn. Even Christians (Yes! Even Christians-lol) maybe especially Christians. Our outside actions can deceive others who are only looking on the surface. It is easy to judge others by their outward struggles, and often those who have struggles that are inside, which nobody can see, start believing that they are ” less sinful” then others simply because nobody knows much about their sin.

I once told a woman that I care about deeply how it is to be a the ” outward ” struggler, who has their dirty laundry aired often and reviewed publicly . She is a good and Godly women with a good heart. I asked her to consider her life if…

” Consider your life, if for some unknown reason, you were only permitted to dress each day ( no matter where you were going) like a hooker.”

I asked her to imagine life no matter if her motives were the best and she the most Godly woman she could be, but was forced to be looked upon everyone, everyday like she was just a hooker who chose that way of life. In reality it was the polar opposite of who she really was. How would she handle the ridicule, the finger pointing and the shame others imposed on her as they simply judged her by the outside and what she appeared to be.

Now before you send me a ” Sloppy Agape” email lol …I am not saying that our outward actions are not important or should not be as good as possible. I am saying that unless God is the one doing the work on our hearts, our outside actions are simply an act. There is a big difference between fruit of the Spirit, and acting good. I believe many, many people will be surprised at what Jesus meant when He proclaimed that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. Maybe the mass murderer who gave his heart to God in prison will have a bigger mansion and more rewards in heaven then the one who volunteers in church 3x per week, teaches Sunday school, and says ” Praise the Lord” the most…could this actually be the case? Shocking thought, is it not? Well, that is what the Word says, so take it up with the author if it does not fit into your mold for God, but that is what it teaches.

I am not for sure if she ever really thought about it, but I sure have. I wonder how many of you reading this have been judged so wrongly and so blindly that you understand what I am saying? Either way, whether you have been the judger or the victim of judgement, this should be easy to relate to. There is only one who truly knows our hearts, our motives and what we are truly seeking and desperately trying to be. Only the one who created us knows us in that way. Thus, the Bible says we should not judge others, and that God judges the heart, not the words or works.

Lots of things do not make sense in our finite minds, but God is infinite. When I first read the story of King David and his life in the Bible, I remember being very confused. I recalled his act of murder & adultery, yet the Word says the God called him ” A man after my own heart “.

How can this be? Surely God was mistaken!

Is God saying if we wish to be Godly, commit murder or adultery to win points? Of course not. However only God knew the real heart of David, and could know of his intentions and overall motives.

Even children will turn against their parents, says scripture, because of the name of the Lord. Sometimes pursuing God may bring you to a very lonely place, even a desperate one. The world we live in right now is not supportive of the ways of God and Scripture – as a matter of fact it is contrary to the Word and ways of God. This is not home for the believer. It does not feel right to the believer. It is not supposed to. I encourage anyone who has not partaken to indulge in the writings of C.S. Lewis. He penned ” The Screwtape Letters ” , ” The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe series” and others. He was a gifted author who was an atheist most of his life. When he did come to understand the God he was running from, he used his gifts to describe what goes on in the spiritual realm with us on this earth. It is eye opening at least and a true revelation at best.

I believe in self- reflection and introspect. I believe it is mandatory for us to examine ourselves and the condition of our hearts. However there is a big difference between self-reflection and self-condemnation. There is no point in trying to please all the people. You can please some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but never all the people, all the time. If you are constantly being judged, and you are not aware that God knows your true heart- it is inevitable that you will reach a point of hopelessness. You will find that dark space that seeks to whisper in your ear how you are ” too far gone” or ” better off dead” etc…

If you are the judging type, be careful that you are not the one who makes a statement in judgement a person who is only one whisper away from suicide. It happens every day, people finger point and judge addicts, or homeless people and many more. They have no idea what that Viet Nam vet endured while fighting for your freedom. They are clueless as to the disease of addiction and that mocking an addict is like mocking someone with Cancer, or Diabetes. Just another disease, and to date I have yet to meet a person who set out to be, or wanted to be an addict. Likewise with Cancer patients or the Diabetic .

Make it a point not to redirect or criticize a person who has walked in shoes you do not own, and trekked through paths you have never even been to. I have had people I care about and even family members flippantly say things like ” drug addicts? It is their choice!” or ” They made their bed-let them sleep in it” . That is just ignorance, and most times they have no idea what they are saying. Here is a sad truth however; many of us love to cut others down in areas we have no affliction in, no struggle with. It makes us feel better about our lives.

Whatever the area may be, be careful when entering into the life of others that you are part of the solution not the problem. If you are a person struggling with things that you are fighting and praying for answers to – take heart because your judge is not walking the earth right now. You are not to fall into the trap of taking others opinions and nasty comments to heart. As a matter of fact, the more you pursue righteousness, the more attacks you will feel from all directions. Not everyone likes to watch others reach success, or victory. Let God deal with them.

A little birdy once told me ….

If we insist and persist on tearing down others, we may very well find ourselves in the exact same (or worse) position that they are. It is dangerous territory.

Will you be part of someone’s solution today?

Visualize whirled peas-


Once Again Truth Is Coming Out – This Time On Big Pharma…

It was over 15 years ago when the name of this blog came to me after witnessing too many kids I worked with get loaded down with meds and diagnosed with one of the latest insane mental health diagnosis to come out. It is supposed to be about the patient and their actual need of treatment, but with the billions of dollars that flow in the drug industry , it sadly in many cases is about pills for cash…meaning the profits of those 500$ per month drugs would whip up soon after the doctors whipped up new names for regular problems kids have.

Years ago when the anonymous group of psychiatrists climbed up the mountain retreat for their secret voting on what new ” disorders” they could come up with- they must have got some bad weed at the secret convention because the new ” disorders” where mostly common struggles or phases kids go through while growing up. The one new ” disorder” that stuck with me and I thought they should all be drug tested after I heard it-is called ” Teenage Rebellion Syndrome” or similar.

Teenage rebellion? Wow that is quite a shocking accusation to make, that teens who rebelled or skipped school had a mental health issue…right? Actually it caught on pretty good and you may be thinking – ” Hey – maybe the doctors really felt it was an unusual enough problem to label a kid for life with a mental health issue”.

Im probably being too paranoid an skeptical I used to think. It was not until I learned of the financial rewards -if you will that doctors who were ” smart enough” to prescribe the new miracle drugs were partakers of. What I saw for decades at schools for expelled youth and foster programs was not always what it appeared. These ” out of control” kids were over medicated in many cases and often needlessly medicated at all. It all led back to the one issue that seems to be the nemesis of humanity. The love of money.

Watch this interview about the current status of the current situation.

I feel that this year and maybe for a few after it are going to be very revealing and shocking to many people. I believe that God is ” taking out some trash” if you will . The issues that I write about and fight for without letting up have one thing in common. Children are being exploited for profit at terrible personal costs to them, by those who are put in charge of protecting them.

If you or I choose to hurt ourselves or our health without regard it is one thing. However, when a professional in the doctors office, the church or anywhere else become so desensitized that for money they will allow thousands to either be forever mentally ill, or in many cases take their own lives, is just beyond me.

So I thank you all who from the beginning over 5 years ago- read and took to heart what I wrote about all these issues when no real proof was there. You may recall me asking you to repost the clergy issue in North Carolina to help raise awareness about it – and if you recall it was the team effort that brought the pieces together to put the whole thing together. Today of you Google Father Albert Gondek and anything about clergy abuse you will see more then you care too of his face. Many of you spread it out through your networks and because of that, I began to get occasional calls from North Carolina media inquiring. They did not jump on it that very day but it planted a seed and today you can google many examples of the media there has already interviewed on the air victims of Gondek that I never even knew about !

Victims either saw this blog and wrote me that he had hurt them too, ot they saw your reposts of my posts. At any rate it is coming any day now that the doors of that church in NC where those kids were abused will be knocked on and that diocese is going to have more problems than a group of cub scouts stuck at the Neverland Ranch for a weekend would. I know -bad illustration, but true.

Pleasee continue to support these types of major chnage we are trying to make happen. I hope now that you all see the power of the team and what it can bring about – you will be even more motivated to get involved when I need it. After all, I am not the only parent here, we all are potential victims of these monsters, so keep up the good work! Thanks!


It Always Comes To Light…Clergy Predators Cornered…


Well you all recall the many posts Ive written about the catholic pedophile racket…specifically Father Albert Gondek of North Carolina…

..And Now…The Standoff ..


I Do believe Father Gondeks name will be on the list…so stay tuned. Click the link above and see what kind of BS the leader of the Charlotte Diocese gives for not telling names..


Can I Get An AMEN?


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Today could be the first day of the rest of your life! Its up to you now…

Tomorrow Is Not Promised…Say It Today.

Moms are not replaceable…they rarely get the love the give out so freely.


If you must take someone for granted in this life make sure it is not your mother. Mom, the one who believed in you when most had given up. The only person who walks toward you when you find yourself in a dirty mess while the rest fade into the darkness.

The picture here is of my mom and I this Christmas at a dinner. Pretty common right? Not in this case. One week before this picture was taken, my mom suffered a heart attack and had emergency heart surgery. I did not know if I would even see her on this earth again, never mind having a Christmas meal out with her after that

Today Is The Day.

Today, not tomorrow, tell your mom how much you love her and appreciate all the times she stood by you in the dark times and still managed to tell you convincingly that you would make it and that you will succeed. 

After all, you may not have that opportunity tomorrow…



Never A Dull Moment In My World…Really!

I gave up decades ago even sharing with close friends the goings on in my life. Why? Simple; They didnt believe me, or  simply couldn’t process the idea that these occurrences would be continuous in one person’s life.

Some of the incidents in our family are common like divorce, diseases, abuse and even our tragic times like my brothers suicide and lots of death in general.

I quickly learned that most things are better left to the family. However , sometimes I just got to let it out! Thats where blogging has been therapeutic for me. Last week or so I mentioned I was exhausted from keeping on top of the pedo-priest deal but happy that somebody busted it wide open. The official in Pennsylvania just blew it out of the water with his huge announcement in August.

We needed a break like that.

Thank God most states are following suit and investigating seriously the huge racket of pedophilia in the church.

But, today I’m sharing a different side  of things that I suspect many of you can relate to in your own way.

Battling a group of freaks as powerful and wealthy and nasty as some of Catholic church can be dangerous. I have been in this field long enough to know when you ruffle feathers, you better prepare for war, both *spiritually and naturally.

( *shout out to my atheist friends btw..just ignore that  ” spiritual” you all know I love ya..)

lalalala man

Since the year I really started digging my heals in the whole thing I have been attacked from so many directions its hard to keep up. It becomes a way of life. You may lose friends, family and even spouses over it.

(I mean thats what I hear)

But as many of of you all know, when you just know in your knower that you cannot be silent about an issue…you cannot back down…its no longer a choice.

For me it was letting innocent kids become suicidal due to the sick pleasures of thousands of perverts in the church-  I have no choice.

Recently as I was preparing to gather some documents for reporters off my email and files would you believe just coincidentally ( yeah right) I found myself totally locked out of my email, files and somehow at the same time my cellphone carrier ” accidently”did a FACTORY RESET on my cell!!!

If you dont know what that is,  it basically means all the info and documents on your phone go bye – bye. For good.

Since I couldn’t get access to my cell phone now I was locked out of-  I wasn’t able to reset my password for my Gmail because Google requires you to have the current phone number and get a text on it which means I was completely locked out and still am of all the documents I had. Fortunately this blog has been a lifesaver in that area because I posted almost all the things I had … statements, emails from officials etc…

I posted most on this blog so they’re all public anyway.

Whatever was behind that – it didn’t work – but it sure was stressful and still is stressful.

By the way I am well aware I’m not the only person that goes through times like this and I know that people have things even worse much worse than I do,  I’m not here to claim I’ve got the toughest life I’m sure many of you can relate in your own way to what I’m saying.

So just as I was kind of catching my breath after that incident.. Yesterday brought to surface an entirely different issue from an angle I never expected ..

My mother didn’t feel good and she’s always feeling good but I knew something was wrong and insisted she go to the ER. as it turns out  I was overreacting it was just a heart attack.

She only had a heart attack. Of course to my mom it’s like it’s no big deal “I just had a little heart attack they put a stent in and I’ll be okay and home in a few days”

” By the way son did you remember to take the recycle bin out?”

Me-” Yes momma, I got all 4 plastic milk containers in the bin”

It’s driving me crazy…and that’s not a very long trip in my state of mind right now LOL.


I  watched the movie called Flawless the other day with Demi Moore and Michael Caine,  during the movie they were having a conversation about how nothing worth doing is ever about the money and it struck a chord with me. It is very true.

The last decade or so life has seemed almost unbearable in so many different aspects and yet there’s no turning back.

I think many many people reading this can understand that-  whatever your journey and your battle has been,  so just keep your eye on the prize and never never never never give up- and  never count on anybody else to lift you up and push you and motivate you while your surpassing anything they’ve ever attempted.

Finish Strong.

Well they are calling me back to my unit now-  so gotta go.

















 Well Ladies And Gentlemen I think I hear the fat lady clearing her throat..


pope saying zero toleranceb


** Well I think I just realized I did I fail to attach the link to the interview I was discussing this post but you can just Google “Charlotte diocese may disclose names”  and you’ll see the interviews with the priest and the bishop that I’m referring to in this post ..

I thought I attached it but I don’t think I did now so that’s what I am referring to in this post.

You do need to remember if you do watch any of the interviews whether it be with David Haines the speaker of the pedophiles at the Charlotte diocese or Harold,.David a pretend ” Advocate” or the bishop himself who probably chases more altar boys Around the church and anyone they’re all guilty do just players in different capacities and they are equally good actors and they could care less about these victims and it’s a shame to hear them pretend like their heart broken we know darn well the minute the cameras are out   those freaks will be fighting over their pantyhose to see who gets the next altar boy that comes to the door so don’t be fooled by the acting  skills – and it will all come out**


jesus touch
NO! PLease Father! My Toucher Is Sore…..


Any of you all have been following my post for the last couple years and father gondek and the Charlotte diocese in general is already well aware of what’s going on but it’s amazing to me that the whole world has been dumbed down so much that they’re so shocked that this is not just a few bad apples but it’s the world’s largest organized pedophile racket the Catholic church and it hasn’t been for many many generations. David Haynes of the Charlotte Diocese of David Harold who I’ve spoken to many times and emailed should win Oscar awards for their performances because they are just excellent at what they’re doing pretending that they don’t know there’s been anything going on since 2004 even though for the last three years I’ve been in communication with both of them about seven or eight different kids that were molested by father gondek and I think I’ve even posted emails on the site from him proving that. But there’s no shame in the pedophiles game and it’s amazing to me that even though Grand Puba Peter jurgis can pretend he’s so heartfelt and sad for all these victims when my guess is  hes on playground Duty right after that interview..

Well the party can only last so long whatever happens in the dark comes out in the light took a few about a year longer than I thought it would but I think I’ve published close to a hundred post on pedophile priests in the last two and a half years or so and I didn’t know how it was going to come down but the Pennsylvania thing sure didn’t hurt because now everybody has to do look up and have their hand in the cookie jar and there’s no way out of it.

When I recover from the last couple years I will be posting details follow-ups but right now I’m out of a little bit of a break because I’m focusing on ensuring that this actually happens the way it should happen and that there’s criminal and civil charges against Gondek and all of his other pedophile priests and all those executive pedophiles at the Charlotte diocese as well because they’re all just as guilty.

So stay tuned and fasten your seatbelt I think it’s going to get pretty ugly pretty quick but not that any of those guys really care because they have no shame at all as you can see where the interviews and they just completely lie and fabricate and cover up every possible angle as if it was really not happening.

I have to remind myself that not everybody has had the benefit of watching a few of these guys especially gondek for 20 years molesting molesting and molesting including my own brother who killed himself over it and after a while it’s not even a question of if he’s guilty it’s just how many hundreds of victims are there so when I hear somebody in the Catholic church say well most of the priests are good God-fearing man and they still are just totally brainwashed it reminds me of the victims themselves who feel that way for a few years after their abuse. But that’s the power in the control of that money and the church has.

I heard the bishop mention he’s going to withhold donations from the Pennsylvania group because it’s so many abuse cases…

And he’s so “absolutely disgusted and broken hearted” over that that he’s going to withhold any more donations..


“And the academy award goes to ….”

Well gosh I don’t know they could all get one.? they’re so darn good.

Let me translate for you. that was code for ” damn it now I have to pay 10 million in pedophile fees for my Charlotte crew so I can’t donate to Pennsylvania anymore ”

Well at least it’s proof that Justice does occur at some point regardless of the fact that thousands and thousands maybe more of little kids have been raped and molested and forever ruined emotionally.

it’s very sad but I’m glad to see that that this happened the way it happened because it it was going to take something big in order to uncover something like this and it was very kind of David Haynes to say he  ” might publish”  the names of the priests – since we’ve all been posting them for 2 years anyway that’s very kind of him it doesn’t take Columbo .Haynes – you freak.

You know as well as I do soon as those interviews are over they are all fighting over their nail polish for who gets playground duty after that..

Well that’s all for today so thanks for all of you who have been supporting and praying that the truth would come out and reposting my articles because right now if you just Google that guy’s name it’ll be all over the Internet and a lot of that goes to people like you guys who have supported justice and it took a little village to do that just to get him out there – and you know there’s a bunch more..



What Controls Us?

Click the link below to find out..

Are you influenced by any of these?