At the end of the day it’s never the hurtful words of my enemies that get to me. At the end of the day it’s the silence of my friends that hurts the most.
At the end of the day it’s never the hurtful words of my enemies that get to me. At the end of the day it’s the silence of my friends that hurts the most.
Well- Not really but I suppose to some who had been living with head buried under rock, it may have been a bit shocking. To me, it was long overdue and just the tip of the iceberg. I still felt a little hoarse in my voice from years of proclaiming this very thing to anyone I could.
This truly was a wake-up call for me in another way, however. I watched the Pennsylvania official list hundreds of priests busted and thousands of victims identified in just one area of the state. I remember watching it and not even shaking my head in surprise or flinching as he read of the most hideous, perverted, disgusting tools the worlds largest organized pedophile racket used to keep their system working.
Some of the examples were several pedo-priests ordering kids to stand naked in the shape of the cross, because Jesus did. They snapped pics and God only knows did what with them. Another example of the intimidation used was after children were sexually abused they were ordered to go to confession! This way they could bear the guilt and shame of the deviants. Continue reading “I Was So – “Not Surprised” By This That I Forgot To Post It When It Aired!”
Go to a psychologist and you will likely get some reason that you need to come 1-2x per week to get to” what is underneath all this” and spend a ton of money to lay on a couch or sit in a chair for a long time to be reminded of how miserable your life was/is.
Go to a behaviorist like myself and you will likely get a plan of action using behavioral techniques and rewards to attempt at changing behavior. You always go to the least restrictive first. In this case the behaviorist. You NEVER want to have you or your child locked up or labeled for life because you didn’t do your homework. If you have not read my homepage, go back now and read it to get an understanding of how the system works. You may be quite surprised. The main page article called “Mental Health Is Driving Me Crazy” is the post to read or this may not make as much sense. I promise you won’t regret it.
I have spent more than 20 years of my life working with troubled kids, teens and their parents in every possible demographic. I have not only been a part of the professional team but was fortunate to move up quickly in 9/10 companies. After spending many years on the front lines and just as many in management, I was blessed to be asked to start a school in Florida for expelled felons. These students had not only been expelled from public school, but then got themselves kicked out of the alternative school where kids must go if they get expelled from public school.
I was asked if I could do anything to help them and I knew with my Boys Town training and my hands on experience I could do it. I did and I won awards and all . But the most important task I had to train our teachers was to catch the kids doing something right all day each day instead of a day full criticism at an already over medicated and tired group
Many parents could not explain the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist much less figure out on their own whuch to see. Parents and their kids just going whichever way the wind blows. Whatever place the therapist or teacher told them to go not considering the permanent label and scar it could leave. Its just blindly leading people to their own slaughter. Dont be a part of your own child’s social demize. Let us help develop a family plan of action. We offer hourly rates that are much less than you would pay in an office as we dont have the overhead of buidlings etc.. We will work with you from beginning to end. All you need to do to get on the road to recovery for your family is look at menu of our team and determine who will best suit your needs. Then contact us asap before the damage gets too bad.
Having been in and around the circles of addiction, depression and all behavioral and mental health issues in my career allowed me to understand the nuances and many differences between the way one doctor does things compared to another.
Now is the time to act when they are under 13 or 14 although it is still workable at 18 if they are willing. Children as young as 8 years old are being drugged today, dont let this be the case with your loved ones.
Here is the point of this little post. Don’t pretend there is no issue. Address all the issues as directed by someone who actually has worked and lived it and has education as well.
Don’t try this at home people. Its above anyone’s head who has not been trained extensively on the topic. This is why we have a team with Dont Label My Kid! A team that has 100+ years combined experience in all areas from addiction to behavioral health to spiritual guidance, natural healing and all things mental health. Leave this part to the professionals in this field who have also raised our own kids., or you risk being a willing part in labeling your own child for life.
Discuss your options today for coaching, consulting and anything else you see on our front page menu.
Read Pastor Matt’s bio, as well as Jenny, Mike and Mine to see who would who of us could best help then lets started. You know what they say about the definition of crazy is right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Contact me -firstname.lastname@example.org or in emergency 386-675-7549
“Dear DLMK.- I need your advice. Only lately have I been freed up enough to discuss this. Here goes..
I have NEVER ever felt like a poor and broke person. But every time I look in my wallet I still see nothing. Well today and after seeing what a glorious time Mz B. Jenner had, I am officially taking control of my inner being.
I am coming out as a RICH PERSON! Next time I dig in my pockets I believe I will find my wallet stuffed!
If i look and its empty then im still poor. But if it appears full of cash then its who I really am. There is a message for someone in there…
My question is will I still be accepted at places like the dollar store? Thank you. I’m a big fan!
Coming into money-Texas.
Dear Coming into money thanks for your bold question! I want to first congratulate you on getting in touch with who this universe REALLY intended you to be! You have a wonderful life ahead. Dont sweat the Dollar Store. Heck I would walk by each day flaunting a new RICH store bag! That should get to them. Good Luck!-DLMK Staff
I am absolutely disgusted with what is still going on in this political fight between Trump and Hillary. Here is what irks me to no end. I believe Trump alluded to the idea that if we had suffered another economic collapse, that he surely would have taken advantage of it by buying up more real estate. What happened to the ” Presidential” in the president? It is obvious that Mr Trump has no idea how sacred the office of the president really is. To even think of using his position for personal gain or pleasure is deplorable.
Has this man no morals? What do you think?
Dear President Clinton We have no response at the current time, and yes we remember we owe you a box of Cubans for coming on the show last month. They are on the way.
I have been a follower of yours for many years and enjoyed your posts and in-depth information about mental illness, addiction, and all the kid issues. I wanted to thank you for your sensitivity ahead of time as I ask you this question. I don’t want everyone knowing. Here goes.. I suffer from chronic halitosis and constant flatulence. Lately however I have gotten into the habit of always wanting to be right in front of the blast that comes from either end. I just cannot help it – it is like a compulsive behavior. Whenever I start manuever myself to be in the direction of my breath, a belch or if I will be breaking wind I start picking my nose obsessively. How can I get some help for these things?
Smelly Shelly in Boston.
Dear Shelly, I have consulted with the team on your case and it just so happens we are all pretty booked up for quite a long time. We don’t take nut jobs around here anyhow. I would think about inpatient hospitalization at this point. Thanks for the compliment about being sensitive. However there is a line Shelley. You have crossed it. Do you have vodka running through your shower or something? You are disturbed and need help. As I said we are currently full. Forever. God Bless ..
The DLMK !
We have all been wounded, scarred, hurt, let down, hopeless, helpless, broke, lonely, tired, weary, scared, depressed and the list can go on. That is part of life as we know it. Today I felt like I should post an encouraging but truthful nugget for anyone who is down right now for any reason. Listen- there is a time to weep, a time to mourn, a time to be sad and a time to review the past so you can learn from it. However 90% of people who go through this normal process in life get hung up on one or two areas, and it becomes an anchor, locking them into the emotional bondage of past events, or mistakes. The result of this is an endless circle of pity, shame, hopelessness, and lack of motivation. What if I told you that starting today, you are ordered to turn your head to the future. No looking back. Make a decision to be happy. Make a decision to forgive anyone who has ever accused, abused or used you. Turn the page and be free of the past, be emptied of the heavy weight you have been carrying…
How do you do this? It is a matter of discovering a few keys that not many people understand. I will share a few with you to help you stand up, brush yourself off, and move forward.
People come and go, jobs come and go, health comes and goes, feelings come and go, and money comes and goes. People come and go out of your life all the. here is the first key to moving forward NEVER PUT YOUR SECURITY IN ANY OF THOSE THINGS. You are simply waiting for a fall if you do. Its going to happen. So, if you believe in God, I would recommend putting ALL of your security in Him, and who you are in Christ. He said He will NEVER leave or forsake us, and unlike the things I mentioned above, He is the same yesterday, tomorrow and forever. That is security! All those other things are fine to have in life, but as ” gravy ” if you will. You will find that if you focus on the relationship with Him, all those other things get put in right perspective and you will not obsess over any of them.
Next, TURN THE PAGE on the past. Have you ever tried to walk forward while looking backward? I recommend you try it once. You cannot do it. Neither can you dwell on the past and move forward in your life. Never stumble on something behind you. How do you do this? You wake up one day and make the decision that you are now looking forward. The things you say, the thoughts you allow in and the actions you take MUST be helping you to move forward. Negativity has no place in moving forward. Today, is the first day of the rest of your life!
Lastly, Put yourself around those who you want to be like. Stay away form, and cut ties to anyone is a pity party lover. Bad news, and will try to keep you down so they do not have to make any effort to move forward. Misery LOVES company. Go find some people you admire, people with peace, and joy. You will become what you put yourself around. READ MY TEXT! YOU WILL BECOME WHAT YOU PUT YOURSELF AROUND! Choose carefully who you hang with, and what things you do. If you want a good snapshot of what you look like now in your life, just take a look at your circle of friends. That IS you. If you do not like what you see, then pull the trigger and make new connections.
I realize this a very brief post for such a deep topic, but I promise you if you will do those simple things right now, your life will change for the better very soon. Money back guarantee! Do not stay in bondage to the past. If you need help working through some things then seek out someone to talk to who will keep you on track. You are going to be what you say you will be. So choose words carefully and speak out loud the things you are looking forward to accomplishing. Positive speak brings positive results, negative talk brings negative results. By the way, I did mention God in this post, so if you were offended, you can cross that line out and insert ” palm tree” or ” the universe” or whatever it is you call God.
Listen, I am available by consultation to help anyone through this transition into a happy existence. You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on doctors to get this done. I am trained in social work and have helped thousands of people over a hump in their life.
I was thinking recently about the world. The way people act, the things people say and the way people treat each other in general. Of course it is part of my career and background to identify how people see themselves. I am talking not just about areas I happen to be educated in or any special training. I am talking the basics. If you are a person who believes in God, you read the Bible then you may call it sowing and reaping. You may like to call it mind over matter, or aligning yourself with the universe, whatever the case it matters not for this topic.
I am talking about actually speaking and believing in what you have decided to pursue. For example, in my work and counsel to families over the years, I address behaviors and words, and the link between them. Whatever behavior is causing a problem had to start as a thought, right? So somewhere between the thought and the action was a decision that had to be made. In my case, I often teach parents that pointing out negative behavior all of the time to their children will never produce a change for the better. Then they usually look at me funny and ask what they should be doing. This little tiny nugget that I learned when I was a young college student has proved to change lives in a matter of days. In this scenario, the nugget is that positive reinforcement is the only way a parent will see improvement that is meaningful in their child.
What? Usually I hear something like this ” I never see them doing anything good!” So now we are at the key area that a parent will either accept, learn and change, or they will resist and continue down a failing path and become more stressed and see more problems some even resulting in health issues by now. So lets take the route to improvement right now, and say we are all parents and we all want to see a change in behavior in our kids. What would need to happen is this;
We would all need to adjust our thinking a bit to line up with what will produce good results. Staying with our scenario, we all would begin to ” catch our kids being good”- I know, it is totally against the flow, which psychology says is about 15 negative comments to every positive comment we give to our child. That is about average in an average home, and usually goes something like this ” Stop talking back!”- ” Clean your room!”- ” You better watch your mouth” and on it goes until we have racked up a dozen or so negative comments in a matter of hours. So we need to change our thinking to stop with the critical comments, and begin to train ourselves to listen and watch for what you DO want to see, and jump all over it with simple praise, such as ” Thanks for having your room clean, it looks great!” or ” Thanks for using a calm voice when we talked earlier, it really helped me understand what you were trying to say”. I think you get the idea, we want to take the 15:1 ratio and turn it around, by exchanging one type of comment for another to attain desired results. The reality is, the only way humans change behavioral patterns is by positive and consistent reinforcement of the desired behavior. That goes for us adults too by the way. Think of your workplace, or relationships; would it not be wonderful to get 10 or 15 positive comments to every 1, on an average? It really is not difficult, and it produces quick and lasting change for the better. However even parents I have shown this to, maybe 50% actually do it. The other half live in misery and complain, while the answer is in their reach.
So I use that example, although very abbreviated, and not a complete summary as a model for the topic of this post. We have got to understand that we ( to a certain extent) actually decide our own outcomes by how we decide to do 3 things.
1- How we think.
2- How we behave.
3-How we use words.
Think on things that are in line with your goals, speak in a way that lines up with your goals, and act as if you are already there. Sound too simple? It really is very easily explained. We have to address the root problem, which is how we think. If I am driving around town all day and I keep thinking about robbing a bank, I am going to end up at a dead-end road, as it is neither realistic, legal, or productive. I use this as a random example, but insert your worries, your heavy thoughts that want to repeat like a tape over and over…
Now we have to make the decision to think on something more in line with our goals. Whatever that looks like for you, think on it. Dwell on it. Purposely focus on the things that the ingredients you need to achieve your outcome. Wasted thinking, or “stinking thinking” accomplishes nothing good and is likely to cause you even more stress. Next, what we say is CRITICAL to accomplishing what we will see as outcomes. It matters not if you are alone or with friends, if you allow words to come out that contradict the thoughts you have trained yourself to think, you have to start all over. So say things like ” I am excited for what is happening!” or ” Good things are going on” instead of the traditional ” Life sucks and I am tired” or ” I think I will have a heart attack”. You may be surprise at how many people actually fulfill their own verbal commands.
Finally, make the necessary practical decisions that must occur for you to see your dream. In other words, stop doing things that are counter-productive to what you want, and purposefully do the things that you have identified as mandatory for success. Put yourself around people who already possess what you want. Stay away from those who are going the opposite direction. Believe in yourself, and do NOT believe everything you think. Only believe the thoughts that line up with your goal. Most other interference comes from the media, the radio, and our natural wanting to loathe in self-pity. Cut it out. Shut the television off. Refuse to give in to what others say about your situation. Most times, when people see that you are not out to impress or conform to their ways, they get fearful and try to pull you back down into misery with them, as we know misery LOVES company. Its lonely going the positive route, not many choose it. Get used to it. If you are worried about what others will think about you, then you have a self-confidence issue, and address it. Refuse to “need” anyone, but allow yourself to enjoy the company of those who are supportive of you and your goals. Refuse to think negative, as it only leads to talking negatively, which will bring you right to acting negatively. You are trying to leave there, remember? LOL!
Finally, I laid this foundation for everyone, so that I can take a real life example of someone who is living in success at a very young age, because he chose to go against the grain. Persevering, is falling down 19 times, and getting up again on the 20th. Ben Franklin once said ” the harder I work, the luckier I seem to get!”. Think on that statement for a minute, it is powerful.
We all get so caught up in all the negativity in what is going on in today’s world that we thought a monthly post highlighting some really good things would be cool. You can just use your first name unless you are alright with the publicity. It can be something you are thankful for like finding a job after a long absence, a healing of a sickness that has been plaguing you or your family.
If you have good news form the writing world, like a book published, or an article published, or any milestone no matter how big or small. We have spent a year complaining so why not continue this thanksgiving spirit throughout the year?
Here is all you do. Drop me an email at email@example.com and put ” Good News” in the subject line. Then give a brief summary of what happened that you are excited about and thankful for . If you want to keep your name a secret just use initials and if you would like the publicity just use your entire name and any other details you want included!
Its free and fun! We all need a reversal of mindset sometimes, share with us what has happened to you and we will post it!
1- Get A Reliable Alarm Clock, And Whisper Your Desired Wake Up Time To It In Portugese At Bedtime Each Night.
2- Roll Over 3x On An Orange In Your Bed Right Before You Get Up Each Morning .
3-While Brushing Your Teeth Each Morning , Look Directly In The Mirror And Boldy Say ” I’m A Baller, And Ballers Always Make It To Tip Off”
4- Right As You Close Your Eyes Each Night , Burp The Phrase “Six Thirty” 6.5 Times .
5-Utilize A Wake-Up Service
6- Eat Prunes At Midnight
7- Massage The Toe On Your Foot That Represents The Hour You Need To Arrive At Work 3x After Your Last Bowel Movement.
People are always looking to impress others. Some flash money, some flash their bodies, some try to make people laugh. The list goes on. How though, do we truly make a lasting impact on the people we are interacting with? I came up with a few ways to leave a group of people knowing you have made an impact.
1-Dont over-talk. If everyone is competing for airtime trying to get their two cents in, the only person truly leaving a lasting impression is the mystery person. The one who spoke only when the conversation warranted.
2-Never gossip, judge, or cut others down. If the group is doing that, either exit the conversation or stay quiet and pull out your day timer to double-check your schedule. No matter what do not allow yourself to be associated with people known to do this. If you have no choice, and you cannot do the day timer thing, then speak up for yourself and say ” I am sorry I am just not comfortable talking about people behind their back.
3-Dont do what most do and try to impress others by fancy jargon, recent incredible accomplishments and desperate measures to get the spotlight. Instead, when you do talk be brutally transparent. Tell the truth about how you feel, or what you think about things, even your weaknesses. This is not too common and you will be remembered for that alone. ( Not bragging but my ” brutally honest strategy is how I got where I am today with well over 75 followers!) LOl- ok next.
4-Listen. Most people spend so much time bumpin their gums that they don’t take time to actually hear what people are talking about. Many times, you may have a great answer for the group to hear, but you are so busy talking you never have time to actually give the valuable information. Be the odd man out and listen.It makes you stand out.
5- Lastly, mix in an Altoid.
Most of the things on the list have one thing in common. They are not the norm in today’s schmoozing circles. Simply by being different ( in a good way) you raise awareness to you and your cause, because you are not just another worker bee trying to compete. You are out of the ordinary. When you are not there, you are actually missed.Thats making an impact!
Any of these thoughts ring a bell?
These are a partial list of questions that have run through my own mind in the past which prompted me to reach out for help, in several areas. Even with all my education and experience, I still suffered through the same pain and hopelessness that many others do.
The difference in me now, and then is I did have someone who like me had been through the same stuff, and was a professional in the field as well. He was able to lead me to the right resources to get the right help with nobody knowing until I wanted them to know.
Folks, that’s what I am here for today. I am choosing to spend the rest of my career helping people and entire families get through some big hurdles. I can help you its 100% confidential, and I promise will save you thousands of dollars in fancy offices with lots of suits walking around. If you are having any of those thoughts or similar,like I used to, then get in touch with me email firstname.lastname@example.org or if its urgent call my cell 386-675-7549.
Again- Please take a minute to share this with your people as I cannot reach but my only group.
Peace & Hope
Many parents think they are building some kind of special, double top secret bond with their kid by not disciplining them.
The truth is, the respect factor for the ” cool ” mom or dad who lets their kid get away with anything, is down the drain. Will they quit using you ? Of course not . They don’t mind using you but never will they truly respect you. Kids are no different then us, they want and need boundaries too. If you wont give them that to help them grow into responsible people, then click below for you parental label..
If you don’t have a backbone when it comes to issuing a consequence, grow one.
One weekend about 18 years ago I took my then 4-year-old son to Walt Disney world. We had a bunch of fun, and it was afternoon before we knew it. As we talked about which areas we still had to visit, my son said ” dad, can we go to Tom Sawyer Island?” I told him we sure could and we proceeded on to the area of the park where it was. I remember us passing signs on the way showing the island and all the cool stuff you could see there.
So we got to the line and waited about 30 minutes ( not too bad for Disney) before the guy that controlled how many people can go opened up the way for us. We got about 100 feet from the entrance to a cave looking massive rock that had a tunnel for everyone to pass through. I recall feeling a tight squeeze on my hand as we approached, followed by a full on dead stop by my son, and I was basically dragging him for a minute before I realized he was not tired or lazy like I first thought. He was scared.
Micah looked up at me and said ” No I don’t want to go”. So I calmly asked him what was wrong and he said he did not want to go through the dark tunnel. In order to get to the actual island and area he wanted to go, you had to pass through this dark and cold tunnel. Pitch black and shaped like a pretzel so as you go through you are guaranteed to run into the sides of the walls, and other people.
At this point I looked him in the eye, and told him I would take him through safely, and never let go. I promised I would not let anything or anyone hurt him. After he asked about any alternative methods of getting there, he agreed as he took one last look at the sign showing what was on the other side. It seemed to motivate him at least enough to go to the entrance with me. We went in.
About 3 minutes and 500 yards in, we were far enough in that we could not see the light from either side, the entrance or the end. Micah did what many young kids do when they want some attention or are trying to avoid going on any further with something. I call it the ” stop, drop and drag” that every parent experiences at some point. It’s the move where one minute you are walking hand in hand and the next you look down at the end of your wrist and you have this twirling 45 pound weight spinning and dragging their feet.
It was then he said ” no daddy, I don’t want to go let’s go back”. We could not really see each others face but we could hear each other. I said ” Micah, I know this is very scary. I know it is not what you hoped for. However if you will trust me, and hold tight to my hand, I promise to get you to the island that you want to go to. You may bump into a wall or even another person for a few minutes as we go through this dark and cold part but I wont let go of you and I will lead you safely to the other side”. It really was a defining moment for the 4-year-old.
After a minute of huffing and puffing and doing the ” almost crying but not really ” noises while squeezing my hand for a minute he actually said alright. He slowly put both hands around my one wrist and within 3 minutes ( but to him an eternity) we were out the other side. He had a great time there and clearly was glad of his choice to keep trusting.
That story has been a great reminder to me as an adult, when I am facing difficult times. Often times as a person of faith I know what I should do but my flesh, my feelings, are pulling hard in the other direction. I think of that time at Disney world when I , as a father told my child to trust me, and ignore the feelings, and circumstances around him. It reminds me of the promise that all believers have that God will never leave or forsake us. He never has.
I hope today that if you do not have that reassuring hand to grasp on to and trust with all you have, that you would consider calling on your Heavenly Father and taking advantage of His offer to be by your side 24/7. Remember, God will never force Himself on you, you must call out to Him, and He will surely respond. What have you to lose?