Foster Care Normalization. Is This An Oxymoron? Its Your Call . . . (Parenting 2017)

Normalization is a term that can be tossed around in certain circles when foster parenting is the topic. Some define it as the right of foster kids to have very similar opportunities as kids in traditional family homes. Not just material things, which most 14 year olds think they should have, such an X-Box and 2  hoodies. It means being able to attend groups, activities or school functions. just as their peers can and do. It means not lagging behind in anything in which they want to participate, due to their being in Foster Care.

The idea itself is wonderful, but how realistic is it to accomplish using State and Federal guidelines? We live in an ever-changing world with cultures that are very different from each other.  It is more important that a solid foundation is laid so the child has an adequate confidence level before worrying about whether they are getting into the same activities as everyone else. If I had to pick only one phrase in this whole entire post that one would retain for sure, it would be the following . . .

Normalization is achieved as a by-product of self-esteem and confidence. One cannot force normalization on old, beaten down souls in young bodies, without these strengths!

My work in live-in foster care was about six years and during that time I had over 40 teenagers, about six at a time in our home. Following those years, I spent most of my career working with the same population but in other venues.

In order to prepare for my career in foster care at Father Flanagan’s Boystown (beside my formal training in college as a social worker), I was trained 30 straight days before even being allowed to talk or speak with a child. Their program was probably the best I have ever seen as far as results go.  I believe this is due to the fact it was a family model as referred to in the industry. This model leans toward helping that group of people who are now together, function as much as possible like a family unit.  Our job depended on making sure that occurred. It was important that we would never be misconstrued to be an institutional-type setting, where a kid just felt like another number.

foster home

 

So whether you’re a foster parent to 1 or 2 or 8, at whatever age, the first priority, in my opinion, should be building foundations.  Help them acquire the tools needed (confidence and self-esteem) to become normalized.  A natural outcome will include a sense of ownership, (in your home/family), so they can call your home, their home.

I live in Florida so we get hurricanes almost every year. This year we had Irma, which crushed our state, covering the entire state with its 100mph+ winds and severe flooding. After it was safe to return home, I was again reminded of the difference between the stick/ wooden homes that were mansions and once huge and stunning but which now looked like they were kicked over like a wooden match book.

However, as we came back to our smaller, non-mansion home,  we had power, and just some flooding, no damage to our brick foundation . Build your foster family on the brick foundation that holds its own during the storm. Once you have the solid foundation, the other things will fall in to place.

In closing, here are 5  key tips I used on all of my foster kids, and my 4 natural kids. Whether you are a foster parent now, may become one soon or currently have only your natural children, these work across the board.  They pertain to normalization because no insecure kid will be itching to participate in any activities without the tools needed on the inside.

Building the inside up first gives way for that needed experience and confidence necessary to transition into normalized activities.   I hope you enjoy these tips.  I assure you, after 20 years in direct care and with my own four kids, they work!

God bless you all.

 

TJ-Dont Label My Kid!

  • www.dontlabelmykid.wordpress.com

wp-image--1661491360

 

Here Is Step One Of A Family Plan For Normalization. Implement These Keys! We coach and consult for on going plans and interventions needed in all things kids and families. Just contact us at Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com or call directly  at 386-675-7549- Tj

5 Keys To Being An Excellent Parent!

https://wp.me/p3NNQG-1Gr

 

TJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Never Ask For Money Here- Except Today- Just Read it Please.

Support This Evangelist In India- Hes Doing Alone What Many Would Not Attempt Here. When you click on the link below you will be taken directly to their website and photo galleries of all they have done to minister. You may want to turn the volume down when you first open the site because it starts with many former Hindus and others praising the Lord with no doubt they mean it! You will see a Pay Pal button on the site so do what you can. Remember if only 10% of us gave just 5$ that is 500$ and enough for this Christmas.

Help The Hungry In India Through Pastor Dileep

Here is his link above . This is actually Evangelist Dileep who started this little Christ filled church just 4 years ago by himself, now he is 27 I believe and has 75 new believers/ Now I tell you how he went from 15 to 75 with very little and how we all can help a ton by giving just a little..God blessed him a new beautiful wife just months ago as well!

 
Its time For Dileep in India to ask for donations so his small church surrounded by Hindu churches can do what they do – minister each Christmas by getting enough money raised give rice and beans to all the Hindus who have no food. By this simple act of reaching out his church has grown from 15 to 75 many of whom are former Hindus who could not ignore the Gospel being demonstrated right in their own homes by this very outreach.

It is unreal how many they can feed rice and beans to for a small amount. For example if only 10% of my readers gave 5$ each, they would have enough to serve rice and beans to all the surrounding homes this Christmas.

Folks we are talking 500$ total to do that much ministry. Please go to the little website Dileep has set up and there is now a pay pal button you can give right directly to them. They appreciate help to do this as this is their Christmas present to them. They love serving and even in the pastors day job the money goes mostly to get Bibles and food for their own church.

Giving to them is like stretching every penny 10 different ways as it is so inexpensive ( to us) to support them.

hijministries.webs.com

Please lets take a few bucks and let them feed more people.

Tj

 Storms Of Life- The Hurt And Healing. Where Did God Go? How To Be A Rock In The Midst Of The Thing That Is Ripping Others Apart…

This world can be harsh. Our circumstances can attempt to break us down. Whether you are a Christian or not, I am wrting this to offer to you the only way to remain unshakeable from any of life’s flaming arrows. Will we not feel pain or sorrow and never cry if we do what this article tells you? We still feel the pain, and cry sometimes.

Its our core, our spirit that can remain steady and strong.

If you are a Christian wondering why you feel so vulnerable when things seem to fall apart or you are a straight up anti-God soldier who claims not to need God, this is for both of you. For the Christian, you can learn about why you may be weak in your faith when bad things happen. For the soldier, drop your weapon for a few minutes and see if you might see how this could work and hopefully give it a shot.

Whether we are talking about some tragic circumstances in our own families like unexpected death or loss of income or a number of possible issues, we all have felt at one time or another that God surely must be punishing us. Unbelievers sometimes use these circumstances to affirm their non-belief in God.

Recently we have had some large-scale disasters like the wildfires in California and hurricanes in Florida that forced over a million people out of their homes, not knowing what they may return to. On a personal note I have been through wildfires, dozens of hurricanes and other natural disasters. I lost my brother to suicide and my grandparents the next year. My family has seen a bunch of personal tragedies and natural ones like these storms and fires I referenced.

 

This year though was the first time I have ever evacuated.  When hurricane Irma took over the entire state of Florida, everywhere you turned you saw people crying or pleading with God to take the storm away. You know what? That’s okay. The problems arise when believers don’t get the requested answer in the time frame they have allowed God to wipe these things out. No question people are genuinely hurting, scared. helpless and sometimes hopeless when these things happen.

The question to believers in Christ, is which way are we going to trust now. In our own understanding or in God, period? Here is the mandate from God’s Word;

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,  lean not on thine own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3: 5-6 ( KJV)

screenshot_20170823-62729186825913.png

Now, before anyone gets irritated by this order from God because it does not seem possible at certain times, let me introduce a missing ingredient in being able to trust.

Faith

How do we acquire that kind of strong faith though? It surely does not come from reciting ” I have faith” all day hoping faith will enter into you. Faith does not come by mind over matter or manipulating your self into a false sense of faith.

Once again if we refer back to our life manual, the Bible, we are told that there is but one way for genuine faith to arise in us. Faith that will sustain us through anything.

Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. ( KJV)

Wait just a minute you may say” I have read countless Christian books, I pray, I try to do all I can to please God, I even leave tracts for my waiter or waitress  I should have strong Faith!

Good for you for choosing Christian books over romance novels or inappropriate magazines. Those are wise choices but don’t for a minute they give you lasting faith. You see- God never changed the rules about how legitimate faith is gained, it’s still by His Word. Yep, that means no other Christian anything has the power to do that. Now do not mistake me as if I was saying we don’t need Christian magazines, books, videos and all because we do. They can encourage us, keep us focused in the right direction, even provide us with an emotional spiritual high for a day or two. They keep us in touch with other believers which is a recomendation the apostle Paul made.

However, don’t mistake emotions for faith. So why am I emphasizing the true way to get real faith? Because lack of real faith is the number one reason people stay in crisis mode when problems come, walk away from the faith or never get involved. Maybe they have never been told what we are talking about. Whatever the reason they are drifting and doubting is because they do not renew their minds daily with the Word of God, the Holy scriptures.

What is the difference between you fueling  up only on Christian books and movies which can produce an emotional charge or maybe a temporary ” Jesus high” ? It’s the difference between real faith and manufactured powerless temporary faith. Lets see what the Bible says about what the power its own words hold for those who stay in it and keep renewing their minds everyday from it.

The word says this about itself-

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow: it judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart”-  Hebrews 4: 12 ( NIV)

screenshot_20171009-203742-1522672831.png

I challenge you to find any Christian publication other than the Bible that makes that claim about its contents. You wont. Not even the most famous Christian authors would even consider comparing their words to the power of ” the Word”.

I dedicate so much time to the Word of God and its importance in the midst of crisis and storms in our lives because those who obey the order on how to get real faith are the ones who really remain unshaken regarding God no matter what is going on. One other thing to note, is that in the bible you will find that every true follower of God had to come to crossroads at some point in life where they surrendered their own will and plans and decided to put it all into trusting God. Take Job for example. An honest, faithful man who God clearly allowed to suffer in almost every way he could. Lost his fortune, his family, even his health.

Job was frustrated and not happy about his situation but he decided nothing was going to take his faith away. He made the decision right up front to operate not on feelings, but Faith. So after the storms in his life, his life was put back together by God even greater than it originally was. Now that is faith. In today’s mindset you will likely not find too many Job’s in your life. Most people just get mad, give up, curse God, denounce God or even take their own lives because they decided to play the role of God and decide how things would end up. What was so different about JOb? Was he a better person than we are? Maybe God gave Him some superpowers that we dont have? Nope.

Only one thing kept Job so trusting in God that even when his own wife said he should curse God and die, Job said ” Even though He slay me, I will praise Him”

There is another scripture that Christians need to keep in mind as well. Romans 8:28 says ” All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose”

wp-image--2084750928

Job understood God was not going to just abandon him. That’s why the man who makes our little problems look insignificant was unshakable in his faith. That faith to keep on and even have total peace is only found one way. Reading the word of God often to renew your mind ( if you have not figured this out yet, the world we live in does everything it can to talk us out of our faith.)

The only protection from being affected by that is to renew your mind before you walk out the door and face the world that wants you to walk away from God. That is part of the armor God has given us to be unshakable when everything seems to be working directly against you and your family and faith. He will not force us to stay in His word though. We have free will. If you go to Barnes and Noble and choose to cozy up with a good Anton Lavey ( church of satan) book, that’s your call and of course so are the consequences. So our choices in crisis are critical.

If you have grown children or even younger children you surely have noticed that in their first few years of life they never question what you say or do. If you hand them a bottle, they don’t spin the top off to inspect what you’re giving them. It could be poison but their childlike faith does not even tempt them to go against you or question you about any major decisions. If told your young kids they need to hit the basement now because a tornado was coming through, its doubtful they would pull out a weather radio to challenge your statement. That describes childlike faith.

Guess what that Bible says about what kind of faith is pleasing to God? You got it- childlike faith. Just like your kids never questioned you as a child, we are to have the same attitude with our heavenly Father. Once again, you cannot order childlike faith online or talk yourself into it. Faith comes from where again? The Word. Period.

As adults as we find discipline to renew our minds in the Word and experience true trust in God no matter what is happening, your friends, family, kids are witness to that peace you have unlike so many. That is the opportunity to share your secret with them, and they will believe you because sometimes you are the only calm one around and they notice it. The mindset we get from reading the truth all the time and building real faith goes a little like this-

People come and go ( death, divorce). jobs come and go, health comes and goes, riches come and go, friends come and go, but God- He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That is what you will have etched in your soul as you stay in the Word. It leaves very little room for trusting in any of those listed things. But your realization that God will never leave or forsake you and is always the same will provide you with an entirely new kind of faith in any circumstance.

It doesnt matter if you are an atheist today or a lifelong Christian who even ushers in the church. The Word of God is available to both. One is no better then the other but by their trust in Christ. We all need a savior. Not one of us is righteouss enough to land in heaven except by the finished work of Christ at Calvary and by the blood He shed for anyone who accepts His forgiveness. Nobody has a one up one the other. If you are an atheist now, but tonite you choose to invite Christ into your heart and ask for forgiveness, assuming you get in the Word right away faithfully you could be alot better off then a Christian of 20 years who chooses to keep his Max Lucado reads up to date but not too much time in the Word.

That is why this article is for everyone. No matter what your past has been or where you have been. Its all able to be washed away with that blood of Christ for the asking.

You know when I began writing this article, I considered adding some pictures of the massive storms and fires that are happening. Then I got my head straight and realized I was about to give glory and even more attention to the things that are tearing people apart. Thankfully I realized that this is a hope centered piece, not a piece for lots of people to glorify the bad things that hit us.

Thats why the emphasis has been on the awesome opportunity to overcome this world and its attempts at defeating us. What we need is more instruction on how to overcome this world according to God. Thats victory. When you choose that route you will find that the things that used to wear and tear you down are now like flys on your shoulder that you can swat off and keep moving forward in God’s Word and plan for you and yours!

Listen to this womans confidence. I guarantee it did not come to her by never missing Oprah.

Whatever your storm, whether tragedy in your family, fires in your woods, or crazy rain and winds over the entire state, they all get smaller and smaller as the Word grows bigger and bigger in you!

Test it and see. After all God said not a word of His will ever return void…

TJ

 

 

 

 

Storms Of Life- The Hurt And Healing. Where Did God Go? How To Be A Rock In The Midst Of The Thing That Is Ripping Others Apart…

This world can be harsh. Our circumstances can attempt to break us down. Whether you are a Christian or not, I am wrting this to offer to you the only way to remain unshakeable from any of life’s flaming arrows. Will we not feel pain or sorrow and never cry if we do what this article tells you? We still feel the pain, and cry sometimes.

Its our core, our spirit that can remain steady and strong.

If you are a Christian wondering why you feel so vulnerable when things seem to fall apart or you are a straight up anti-God soldier who claims not to need God, this is for both of you. For the Christian, you can learn about why you may be weak in your faith when bad things happen. For the soldier, drop your weapon for a few minutes and see if you might see how this could work and hopefully give it a shot.

Whether we are talking about some tragic circumstances in our own families like unexpected death or loss of income or a number of possible issues, we all have felt at one time or another that God surely must be punishing us. Unbelievers sometimes use these circumstances to affirm their non-belief in God.

Recently we have had some large-scale disasters like the wildfires in California and hurricanes in Florida that forced over a million people out of their homes, not knowing what they may return to. On a personal note I have been through wildfires, dozens of hurricanes and other natural disasters. I lost my brother to suicide and my grandparents the next year. My family has seen a bunch of personal tragedies and natural ones like these storms and fires I referenced.

 

This year though was the first time I have ever evacuated.  When hurricane Irma took over the entire state of Florida, everywhere you turned you saw people crying or pleading with God to take the storm away. You know what? That’s okay. The problems arise when believers don’t get the requested answer in the time frame they have allowed God to wipe these things out. No question people are genuinely hurting, scared. helpless and sometimes hopeless when these things happen.

The question to believers in Christ, is which way are we going to trust now. In our own understanding or in God, period? Here is the mandate from God’s Word;

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,  lean not on thine own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3: 5-6 ( KJV)

screenshot_20170823-62729186825913.png

Now, before anyone gets irritated by this order from God because it does not seem possible at certain times, let me introduce a missing ingredient in being able to trust.

Faith

How do we acquire that kind of strong faith though? It surely does not come from reciting ” I have faith” all day hoping faith will enter into you. Faith does not come by mind over matter or manipulating your self into a false sense of faith.

Once again if we refer back to our life manual, the Bible, we are told that there is but one way for genuine faith to arise in us. Faith that will sustain us through anything.

Romans 10:17 says “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. ( KJV)

Wait just a minute you may say” I have read countless Christian books, I pray, I try to do all I can to please God, I even leave tracts for my waiter or waitress  I should have strong Faith!

Good for you for choosing Christian books over romance novels or inappropriate magazines. Those are wise choices but don’t for a minute they give you lasting faith. You see- God never changed the rules about how legitimate faith is gained, it’s still by His Word. Yep, that means no other Christian anything has the power to do that. Now do not mistake me as if I was saying we don’t need Christian magazines, books, videos and all because we do. They can encourage us, keep us focused in the right direction, even provide us with an emotional spiritual high for a day or two. They keep us in touch with other believers which is a recomendation the apostle Paul made.

However, don’t mistake emotions for faith. So why am I emphasizing the true way to get real faith? Because lack of real faith is the number one reason people stay in crisis mode when problems come, walk away from the faith or never get involved. Maybe they have never been told what we are talking about. Whatever the reason they are drifting and doubting is because they do not renew their minds daily with the Word of God, the Holy scriptures.

What is the difference between you fueling  up only on Christian books and movies which can produce an emotional charge or maybe a temporary ” Jesus high” ? It’s the difference between real faith and manufactured powerless temporary faith. Lets see what the Bible says about what the power its own words hold for those who stay in it and keep renewing their minds everyday from it.

The word says this about itself-

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow: it judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart”-  Hebrews 4: 12 ( NIV)

screenshot_20171009-203742-1522672831.png

I challenge you to find any Christian publication other than the Bible that makes that claim about its contents. You wont. Not even the most famous Christian authors would even consider comparing their words to the power of ” the Word”.

I dedicate so much time to the Word of God and its importance in the midst of crisis and storms in our lives because those who obey the order on how to get real faith are the ones who really remain unshaken regarding God no matter what is going on. One other thing to note, is that in the bible you will find that every true follower of God had to come to crossroads at some point in life where they surrendered their own will and plans and decided to put it all into trusting God. Take Job for example. An honest, faithful man who God clearly allowed to suffer in almost every way he could. Lost his fortune, his family, even his health.

Job was frustrated and not happy about his situation but he decided nothing was going to take his faith away. He made the decision right up front to operate not on feelings, but Faith. So after the storms in his life, his life was put back together by God even greater than it originally was. Now that is faith. In today’s mindset you will likely not find too many Job’s in your life. Most people just get mad, give up, curse God, denounce God or even take their own lives because they decided to play the role of God and decide how things would end up. What was so different about JOb? Was he a better person than we are? Maybe God gave Him some superpowers that we dont have? Nope.

Only one thing kept Job so trusting in God that even when his own wife said he should curse God and die, Job said ” Even though He slay me, I will praise Him”

There is another scripture that Christians need to keep in mind as well. Romans 8:28 says ” All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose”

wp-image--2084750928

Job understood God was not going to just abandon him. That’s why the man who makes our little problems look insignificant was unshakable in his faith. That faith to keep on and even have total peace is only found one way. Reading the word of God often to renew your mind ( if you have not figured this out yet, the world we live in does everything it can to talk us out of our faith.)

The only protection from being affected by that is to renew your mind before you walk out the door and face the world that wants you to walk away from God. That is part of the armor God has given us to be unshakable when everything seems to be working directly against you and your family and faith. He will not force us to stay in His word though. We have free will. If you go to Barnes and Noble and choose to cozy up with a good Anton Lavey ( church of satan) book, that’s your call and of course so are the consequences. So our choices in crisis are critical.

If you have grown children or even younger children you surely have noticed that in their first few years of life they never question what you say or do. If you hand them a bottle, they don’t spin the top off to inspect what you’re giving them. It could be poison but their childlike faith does not even tempt them to go against you or question you about any major decisions. If told your young kids they need to hit the basement now because a tornado was coming through, its doubtful they would pull out a weather radio to challenge your statement. That describes childlike faith.

Guess what that Bible says about what kind of faith is pleasing to God? You got it- childlike faith. Just like your kids never questioned you as a child, we are to have the same attitude with our heavenly Father. Once again, you cannot order childlike faith online or talk yourself into it. Faith comes from where again? The Word. Period.

As adults as we find discipline to renew our minds in the Word and experience true trust in God no matter what is happening, your friends, family, kids are witness to that peace you have unlike so many. That is the opportunity to share your secret with them, and they will believe you because sometimes you are the only calm one around and they notice it. The mindset we get from reading the truth all the time and building real faith goes a little like this-

People come and go ( death, divorce). jobs come and go, health comes and goes, riches come and go, friends come and go, but God- He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That is what you will have etched in your soul as you stay in the Word. It leaves very little room for trusting in any of those listed things. But your realization that God will never leave or forsake you and is always the same will provide you with an entirely new kind of faith in any circumstance.

It doesnt matter if you are an atheist today or a lifelong Christian who even ushers in the church. The Word of God is available to both. One is no better then the other but by their trust in Christ. We all need a savior. Not one of us is righteouss enough to land in heaven except by the finished work of Christ at Calvary and by the blood He shed for anyone who accepts His forgiveness. Nobody has a one up one the other. If you are an atheist now, but tonite you choose to invite Christ into your heart and ask for forgiveness, assuming you get in the Word right away faithfully you could be alot better off then a Christian of 20 years who chooses to keep his Max Lucado reads up to date but not too much time in the Word.

That is why this article is for everyone. No matter what your past has been or where you have been. Its all able to be washed away with that blood of Christ for the asking.

You know when I began writing this article, I considered adding some pictures of the massive storms and fires that are happening. Then I got my head straight and realized I was about to give glory and even more attention to the things that are tearing people apart. Thankfully I realized that this is a hope centered piece, not a piece for lots of people to glorify the bad things that hit us.

Thats why the emphasis has been on the awesome opportunity to overcome this world and its attempts at defeating us. What we need is more instruction on how to overcome this world according to God. Thats victory. When you choose that route you will find that the things that used to wear and tear you down are now like flys on your shoulder that you can swat off and keep moving forward in God’s Word and plan for you and yours!

Listen to this womans confidence. I guarantee it did not come to her by never missing Oprah. 

Whatever your storm, whether tragedy in your family, fires in your woods, or crazy rain and winds over the entire state, they all get smaller and smaller as the Word grows bigger and bigger in you!

Test it and see. After all God said not a word of His will ever return void…

TJ

 

 

 

 

The Tongue Has The Power of Life And Death in It…Are You A Murderer?

Have you ever met someone who just had a special talent for absolutely tearing people apart with their mouth? The vitriol spewed out like the lava from a volcano, just hot and hurtful as they could be?

You will remember them many years after because the wounds from those attacks don’t heal real quickly. The verbal exchanges almost always include a piece of very personal information that you willingly shared with them and now they are using your own trust against you by bringing it back up.

There are two reasons people get that mad, in that fashion and are oblivious and apathetic towards others, and here they are.

1- They have been very hurt themselves ..

2 – They have been very hurt themselves..

Why People Are So Mean

“Hurt people hurt people, and loved people love people.”- unknown

This is so true and applies to just about every situation involving the words we say. It would not matter so much if  words themselves were not so powerful.

I can think of 5-6 scripture verses off the top of my head about the power our tongue has.  We are not warned that wrong words may cause a little irritation, or make someone frown. Nope.

We are told  in no uncertain terms that this is life and death. The ability to completely destroy another’s self-confidence and break their will down..words are dangerous and you can see by the image in this post what God has to say about those who don’t control their tongues. The outlook is not too bright.

I was a hideous killer of people’s hearts when I was a teen. I remember saying things to people when I was angry and noticed the effect my comments were having on others. I was more shocked and confused then anything, after all this was common dinner table talk with my dad around. It meant absolutely nothing to me and i considered others weak. It was not until I was in my 20’s that I believe God showed me the big picture. I think He had mercy on me because up until then these unbelievable words I was spewing out meant nothing to me.

The important part is that as a result of my learning the truth about how my words got where they were, I had to pass by the places and things that I had so much built up anger about and start acknowledging them so I could work through my own healing. Otherwise not much would change. Remember the saying ” Hurt people Hurt people and loved people love people” If we remain in a state of a hurt heart, our words are not likely to change. That is where the grace of God and His healing of memories comes in.

wp-1501327855652.

Hopefully statements like the one above wont be so common out of our mouths anymore. Whether you are the hurt one spewing out comments that tear people up inside, or you have been on the receiving end of the negativity, take action. Pray for the person who is hurting you but don’t put yourself in front of them too much until things change. If its unavoidable such as a spouse, then its time to come clean whichever side you are on and make some changes.

Are you a hurt person or a loved person? You measure that by your fruit. The words that come from your lips.

TJ

Addiction Series 2017- Mental Health, Addiction & Faith ( Part 2/3) Executing On The Promises For You As A Believer- Unto Victory.

(*Note this is part 2/3 in a post about Faith, and how it pertains to Addiction and Mental health. Please see home page for the part one posted two days ago.)

The first part of this post was about determining who is going to be in charge in your life, and your circumstances whether good, bad or ugly. This part of the post for those who have chosen to surrender it all to the Lord Jesus Christ, whether that be years ago, recently, or just now as you have read the first post on this. ( If you have just received Christ or rededicated yourself as a result of this post, please leave a comment so I can reach out to you personally)

*I have added a 3rd and final post which will be the final post after this one.

Now that you who are reading this likely know who your  ” Captain” is in Jesus, what exactly does this mean for your situation in mental health or the addiction you have been fighting for 15 years? Just because you are a Christian, now all things will get better and your diseases will disappear? What are these “promises”  I keep hearing about?

Maybe these are some of the questions on your mind. I am going try to answer the most important ones, and answer them from my personal testimony and life experiences . My goal is to let you in on the reality of what God does and does not promise when it comes to our sickness and addictions, and also what you can truly expect from trusting 100% in God’s Word for every circumstance you find yourself in.

I am going to make some statements that might sound a little different then some you have heard about the topics we discuss. You see I am not theorizing here. Everything I tell you is something I have walked through personally in almost every case, and in the rare instant I did not, I either worked with a population who fit in that group or have special training in the area.  I have been labeled or diagnosed both officially and unofficially with more than 6 ” disorders ” ranging from PTSD to Major Depression to Addiction . All the while I was getting trained as a Social Worker and working in the field as well. I got my share of experience. I like to think of my time in rehab and at meetings, along with half a dozen doctors, as ” internships ” to help me be a great Social Worker. Yeah, I like to.

For the entire time I struggled with trauma as a young child to addiction beginning as a teen, I would have always considered myself a Christian. I had no problem believing that I was a sinner who needed a savior and that Jesus took care of that at the cross.

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Mom prayed & kept a journal each morning.  Years later I realized the impact it had.

I understood bits and pieces of the Christian life an even saw great examples of faith in actions through my mother, who was always ( and still does) up at the crack of dawn sitting on the couch having her devotional time, and always writing more and more in her prayer journals. I also witnessed enough of real Christians to know that God was real and there was a difference in those who were faithful believers and those who were still chasing ” the fish learned to walk and became a man 50 billion years later ” stories, or in those who simply did not feel the need to make God a priority at the time.

As I entered adulthood I was very fortunate to have a few key people who God put in my way to get me from point A to point B. Then He put 1 or 2 very unique people that were more of mentors and still are. I described my life as a teen a someone who was a Christian, and knew God was real and all. Honestly other than the fact that we went to church, I never saw or felt much of a difference between me and the non believer. Really until I was in my late 20’s or so I thought there was one benefit of being saved -heaven. Don’t get me wrong, I was not complaining! I just did not see any other benefits other than eternal life with God.

When I went to college for social work, my brother had recently killed himself without any warning and also I had lost both my grandparents. So we had 3 funerals kind of close together for people who were in my very small inner circle of family. I went in kind of starting a new chapter in my life as I was also starting a 5 year career at Father Flanagan’s Boys Town.  Somewhere between baggage of my childhood, my ongoing addiction issue, the pressures of a new job and college were really getting to me. So, what did I do?

I got married and started a family to add to those things! Wow. I really had it out for myself.

About 5 years into my career and after I graduated from college, I felt something beginning to crack in me. I was trying to handle all the pressures which already were overwhelming, I could not without wanting to use alcohol to cope. Then came the divorce and not being with my 2 boys each night anymore. That tore me apart.

So many pressure laced things were happening to me, some self-induced and some just life, that I rarely could ever even speak to anyone about it. They would become so overwhelmed by just me sharing a few examples that I could tell they were not ready to hear all of my real struggles. On top of that my ex is 100% narcissistic and totally used each one of my failures to somehow make her a victim or regain the spotlight in any way possible. Little things like getting arrested for DUI were impossible to hide from her. Imagine. She had word out that I had been running with the mafia or something.  At this point in my life I was absolutely stripped of anything I had ever had, material or emotionally, and could not put one foot in front of the other. I ended up in my first alcohol/ drug rehab. ( oh, I mean internship).

Realizing that the Word is 100% true and it never lies. Ever.

Through a series of events God aligned me with the person who would serve as a spiritual mentor in a way I was not used to. My mother demonstrated faith to me. This friend of my mother’s was brought to me for an entirely different purpose. I was going to see how a person lives their lives according to Gods Word. This lady had and still has been disciplined enough to spend several hours each day studying the Bible.

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I remember calling her many many times asking for advice, which she refused to give. The answer always went like this ” Well, you know what the Word says about that ” – I was like  ” Oh no I don’t ! I would not even know where to look. You mean they talk about real life stuff in there? ”  That was around 20 years ago, and it was the beginning of a life long journey I am still on . It was as if one day that dusty old Bible of mine came alive and became relevant and very important to my decisions. After a year of her mentoring me, it occurred to me that ALL of life’s issues are answered in there. Man I could have saved myself some real heartache! Even though this post is about mental health and addiction, I assure you that the Word of God is absolutely infallible and always the best resort for any life decisions.

Our Words and Gods Word They Must Line Up

Once we get to the place where we have the revelation deep down that the Word really is God breathed, we must also understand that we must know that Word in order to activate it. When you and I became believers, every promise in that book is available to us and us only. The problem is, just as with any gift given us, if we do not reach out to take it and use it, it is of zero value. So it goes with the bible. Now that you got all of the above, it is time to find out where in this Word my needs right now are addressed. My worry, my anxiety, my addiction, etc. These are all addressed and we have specific instructions. Lets take worrying for example. One of my favorite verses on this topic is in Proverbs 3:5-6 ” Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight “.

So when you start worrying you now have an alternative to go to. A real life  (not mind over matter) word from God on how to handle it. Next you must learn to substitute the promises God gives for all the negative self talk like ”  I am sooo worried I think I will have a heart attack ” You would be shocked at how many people speak their way into sickness because they refuse to control their tongue. It is critical that once you know the specific word for your situation, you recite it aloud whenever you can to remind yourself of the truth. Of what God says about your situation, regardless of how it looks either.

The final post will be on specific scripture and promises for those sick, including addiction and mental illness. The final post is your blueprint for freedom from bondage – Gods way and His timing. I will post it no later than Sunday,  two days away.

TJ

 

It’s Not Always Right To Write! Although I Could Be Wrong…

 

I saw a commercial the other day with a guy who was playing a novelist. In the commercial he is at the old typewriter just staring into space with his hands ready to type away and nothing but a blank page. He just kept on and on gritting his teeth and waiting for something to come to him. He was not enjoying himself. I don’t know how people do that. Just decide its ” writing ” time and take a seat. To me that’s like stopping at the restroom at certain times, regardless if it was the right time..lol

I am aware that some of you may do this also, and I am here to help you through that. You see if you have to knock on creativity’s door – it  cannot be natural. Setting a time to write but not having a spring in your step to get going is missing out on something. If you are not experiencing a creative cerebral takeover that you cannot wait to put into words then check yourself. Maybe it just is not meant to happen.

We have all finished a post and as we are wrapping it up we take a quick scan and go  ” why did I even bother “. That’s why I have 200 drafts. Nowadays I don’t even bother unless something earlier struck me, or I have something fresh on board. Basically  ” If it ain’t tight, I don’t write “. It feels so much better when you have that feeling that what you are writing serves some purpose.

I know that I am not always right. I have my share of posts that I think will bring the WordPress CEO calling to tell me how much he loved it but in actuality the like section is quite lonely. That is okay because I enjoyed writing it and that sure beat trying to finish a post quickly because you just are not into it. I am not saying to decrease your writing or not post as much. I think I am trying to tell you not to settle. Make yourself dig deeper until that burst of energy to get writing is back.

 I say only write when it is right and write when its tight!

TJ

Here We Grow Again! Please Welcome Jenny Clark & Her Publication!

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Jenny Clark

 

As predicted,  we continue to be blessed with people who fit right into our mission and who have very special gifts and talents to offer. To round out the Don’t Label My Kid! team, we are very proud to call Jenny our 4th team member. Jenny has already accomplished much for the good of people struggling with addictions, and we expect even greater things as we work together to provide the very best options for people needing assistance, Please check out her site ( link at bottom page) and get familiar with publication!

Jenny Clark has worked in the Health Care Industry for over 11 years, specifically Chemical Dependency for over 6 years. Her experience includes Peer Counselor, Intake Coordinator, Admissions and Marketing at several different health departments and treatment centers over the last 11 years. She has assisted in the development of a new treatment center on the treasure coast establishing the protocol for their admissions and business departments.

Her love for people and serving those in need has resulted in the development of All 4 Ur Addiction Referral Recovery Guide. This magazine/resource guide prints 10,000 copies quarterly to bring awareness and resources available to those who are suffering from addictions, mental health issues and trauma and their families who are affected by this disease. You will find services such a treatment facilities, in and out patient treatment centers, detoxes, sober living facilities, nutritionists, financial advisors, life coaches, educational resources, support groups and monthly sober activities, as well as legal representatives, therapists, helplines and much more. We will be sharing more about this as we go forward and hope to squeeze an article or two out of her too!

Again, we are excited to partner with Jenny and encourage you to visit her site at www.all4uraddiction.com.

Dance Like Nobody Is Watching…

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Sometimes you just have to do whatever it is you do and not worry about what others are thinking. Sometimes you just have to be whoever it is you are and not worry about and not worry about what others are thinking. Sometimes you just have to go wherever it is you need to go and not worry about other people are thinking. Sometimes you need to just need to say what it is you need to say and not worry about what other people are thinking…

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Meantime, Glaucoma And Seizure Complaints Have Tripled Among Seniors…

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Anybody Catch Me Doin My Thing At The Dunk Contest? If Not Here’s Your Chance…Its Epic.

Talk about sore legs…wow..can barely walk!

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Wow-This Is Very Encouraging For Anyone Who Has Faced Rejection Time And Time Again…. Check It Out.

Never Give Up! Look At These Guys!

Its hard to imagine that this could be true, but when Yuu see it is fact, it should encourage any if us who have been consistently rejected in dome area or areas of our lives. I guess the bottom line is 

Delay is not Denial.

Happy 4th ISIS- Courtesy Of The USA- Donald Trump, President . 

Just a year ago, our president Obama was sending terrorists billions of dollars – what a refreshing change this is…

Http://www.ustruthwire.com/2017/07/04/trump-and-america-just-gave-isis-a-big-surprise-for-independence-da

TJ”s Rent-A-Friend…( Stay With Me ) Grab A Kleenex Or Two. ..

About 10 years ago during one of my creative mania/ weirdest cycles I came up with these 3 ideas that I thought would be absolute hits and make millions If I only had an investor. You know what, I still see more than ever that they would be awesome. However,  out of the three, the one that is the strongest is once I am going to share briefly.

The reason I am sharing it publicly is two-fold. One, so I have proof it was my idea. In case some visitor from Turkey comes on my site and steals it up. WordPress not only tracks who looked at what articles and where you live but much more. I’m pretty sure that they can trace whoever steals my idea to the driveway and also tell the cops what color shirt you were wearing when they read my post. The moral of the story, don’t mess with my inventions.

The second reason is just to get any feedback, and take names and numbers of anyone who might want to be an investor. So here me out. This is not a joke, as sad as it is , I think what I am going to show you would burn it down. Totally blow up and be very big.

We all know the lengths people go to just avoid loneliness , correct? You know, go to Starbucks to ” work ” when we could ” work” at home but we don’t want to be alone..Or purposely planning things around others schedules when you know you will run into them, then act all surprised. This is what they tell me anyway,I mean I never had a problem. I do have friends. So I don’t know first hand but I hear things. People talk..

I am all about self- esteem. So what better way to raise someones esteem then to have a constant reminder that the are not alone! All for the stroke of a check or a swipe of a debit card once a month!

So here is the deal just plain and simple. Its called;

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TJ’s Rent A Friend

Feeling lonely and down, but are tired of hoping the doorbell will sound, or the phone will ring? Your lonesome days are over! At TJ’s Rent A Friend we have hundreds of Friend Fillers just dying to meet you! Yes that’s right. No more lonesome nights and weeks without any companionship. We have fillers in all 50 states ready to become your best friend-NOW! Wipe the tears away, put that spring back in your step, and get ready for that phone to be a ringin- .

We offer three packages for your pleasure

1-The “quick filler fix” -19.95$ / Month

A–A 10 minute inbound  call to you each Monday Wednesday and Friday.

B-A monthly authentic note from your filler to check in ( these are perfect to leave around the house so any visitors can catch a glance )- your self-esteem skyrockets!

2–The “Oh So Close We Are” Package-29.95$/Month

A—1-Call at noon each day 15 minutes in length.B A weekly note for your mailman to deliver and for you to leave lying around the house in the event a family member stops by.- they start a stackin’ and your self-esteem starts a jackin’!

B-Two times per month your friend filler will make a call to a contact of your choosing and pretend they were trying to get a hold of you because they need ” expert” advice! ( you see how its working now)

3- The Extreme ” Test Me – I’m Your Bestie” Package– 39.95/month

A- A call each day at your desired time.

B- Weekly Letter that we will purposely address to the neighbor of your choice, so they     HAVE to walk it over – ( see us working?)

C- One in-person meet for lunch per month at the diner of your choice, and you may bring a script no longer then 3 paragraphs that you want your bestie to say out loud for all the patrons to hear. Some examples our satisfied clients use are ” Girl, tell me how it is that my phone sits idle while you can barely keep up with yours?” or ” Honey if you keep writing those best sellers you will never find time to date!’

But its your choice. Its your rep.

 


Ok my blogging family. Look at the woman pictured in this post. She is a recent new customer at TJ’s. I think its safe to say we all can almost see the tears rolling down her cheeks as she got her first day of friend fillers. I think her quote sums it up.

“I made a friend today”.

Does it get any more pure than that? Look at the jaw, the confidence rising up..priceless.

Now let’s get real. I am looking for some feedback. Too high too low on price, or not enough variety? I am almost ( almost) sure that all of you are about falling off your chairs thinking ” How in the world does he come up with this stuff” But I assure you friends you also are gifted. I am not alone. Seek out your gift and before you know it – you will be posting stuff like this – who knows maybe better!

Here’s to good  friendship!

 

tj

President, CEO, COO, Founder, Creator Certified Friend Filler ( By Tj’s )