At the end of the day it’s never the hurtful words of my enemies that get to me. At the end of the day it’s the silence of my friends that hurts the most.
At the end of the day it’s never the hurtful words of my enemies that get to me. At the end of the day it’s the silence of my friends that hurts the most.
Well- Not really but I suppose to some who had been living with head buried under rock, it may have been a bit shocking. To me, it was long overdue and just the tip of the iceberg. I still felt a little hoarse in my voice from years of proclaiming this very thing to anyone I could.
This truly was a wake-up call for me in another way, however. I watched the Pennsylvania official list hundreds of priests busted and thousands of victims identified in just one area of the state. I remember watching it and not even shaking my head in surprise or flinching as he read of the most hideous, perverted, disgusting tools the worlds largest organized pedophile racket used to keep their system working.
Some of the examples were several pedo-priests ordering kids to stand naked in the shape of the cross, because Jesus did. They snapped pics and God only knows did what with them. Another example of the intimidation used was after children were sexually abused they were ordered to go to confession! This way they could bear the guilt and shame of the deviants. Continue reading “I Was So – “Not Surprised” By This That I Forgot To Post It When It Aired!”
Don’t ask me why – but one of my bucket list items was to do a ” Superman ” on my Honda CR250 Dirt Bike while this song blasted…. weird I know – but it is what it was…lol- but the song is awesome for anyone to start their day! Note – When the video comes on you may have to press ” skip ad ” after 5 seconds….
Click the blue and crank it up!
The doctor asked patient 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”
The doctor inquired of Patient 1 what Patient 2 was doing. Patient 1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a light bulb.” The doctor looks up and notices Patient 2′s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient 1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?”
Patient 1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”
Hey I tried…..tj
Click the link above. It will renew your faith in parents who still raise their kids right.
Man have I been tested in the last few years. I know I am not the only one and many of you have been through tough times as well. I guess this is a ” faith post ” and I make no apologies for it. I do however invite my agnostics, non-believers, atheists and Palm tree seekers to still read. We all have tough times so we have that in common.
For me it is my faith in God that I rely on after years of going it alone. The thing is, is its hard. The world we live in is broken. People are twisted. Hurt is everywhere. Tragedy is all over. So how does one get through these trials and come out the other side still able to live – or even want to?
Some of you have lost children, spouses, or had terrible health issues that have left you crippled in your mind and sometimes physically. How do we cope? What does that even look like? To me it was very much a shock to grab hold of my faith, trusting it would carry me over the storms, only to find out that it simply carried me through the storms.
There is a huge difference in that. For me the main difference is a maturity issue. I once was bottle fed as a believer and it seemed like God just babied me through my trials. However after a decade or so in the faith I realized something I did not really care to know. I started to understand that just as we are expected to grow up chronologically in this world and stand on our own two feet, we also are expected to mature in the faith.
Mature in the faith? What is that supposed to mean? Well, for me it has meant being forced to cling to the promises of God in scripture, and to Him. It has – for me anyway meant being stripped of my comforts and things or people who gave me security and lay alone, cold and afraid with nobody to look to except the Lord. Not easy. As a matter of fact it has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
I love my family, my kids and friends and all. There came a time several years ago when none of those were available to me. They all had their own agendas and life goals to attend to. I had no choice but to try to learn to rely on God for my strength, my companionship, my security and all the rest. I thought it would be a fairly easy transition. I thought wrong. It is a very hard thing to trust in and rely on God for it all.
Until you have been stripped of everything you relied on for security, you have not been in a position to have to rely on God. Maybe you are there. Maybe you are all cozy with the things this world has given you. Whatever the case, be prepared to be ” uncozy “. The thing about faith is that it’s the unseen, the unfelt, the untouchable. You cannot reach out for a warm fuzzy when you are dark and lonely.
Sounds like faith is not anything to be desired, right? Who wants to go through all that suffering? None of us. Yet the Bible talks about the ” abundant ” life. Huh? Abundant what? Well, it is an entirely different animal than what we assume. It means actually recognizing that ” the joy of the Lord is my strength. ” Not my car, job, money, kids, etc..
The truth is – people come and go, relationships come and go, kids come and go, money comes and goes, jobs too, health, and all of it. So at some point the roller coaster ride comes to a halt and when we look to our right and left, all of our security blankets may be gone. What now? This is where the rubber meets the road.
God is the same yesterday , today and forever.
There is a Country song out for years about the ” whiskey ain’t workin anymore “. After some of us are confronted with the inevitable, the loss of our security blankets on this earth, some turn to temporary fixes like alcohol or drugs and they sometimes work for a while. It is after they stop working that we are backed up against the wall. Nothing left to turn to – except God and that is only if one is even willing to acknowledge Him.
This post is just to promote thinking – as there is no way I could go into even the trials I have dealt with. The point here is this; It is possible to only need God. It is possible to have unexplainable Joy in the midst of trials. It is only possible for those willing to ask, seek and knock like never before. Call on the name of the Lord every day and study the promises in His Word. Renew our minds each day with the truth, not the lies of this world.
If you do not believe there is a spiritual battle going on for your soul on this earth than you will at some point understand that. Right now if you are struggling, I recommend God. I recommend faith. I recommend it before you need it if that is a possibility in your life. I know from years of messages from you all that some worship watermelons or mother earth. I know some of you have your trust in ” the universe” – which is becoming very popular. The thing about prayer, is it only helps if it is sent to the living God, not a sea turtle nest.
Keep on with it. When things dry up – turn to the creator not the creation.
It will be the best wager you ever made. Peace.
Thanks again for you prayin followers! My youngest Jesse is now in the top 50 bullriders in the USA at 20!
Recently he again vowed discipline- but take a look at the other link..
Sad state of affairs when we currently have almost 30k American priests alone under investigation for child abuse. Oh, and that is the figure the church puts out- so I figure double it.
First of all thanks to all y’all who pray for my son Jesse’s safety in his very dangerous career of professional Bull Riding. You may recall he got stepped on by a bull a year ago and it snapped his leg in two. He has a rod now in there…
BUT- I am NOT surprised to announce to you all that with or without that 6 month setback- He is winning more than ever and I just got the word that he now ranks in the top 50 Pro Bull Riders in the USA!
Please continue to pray for him! He is rocking the rodeo circuit from FLA to Cali. He also has his own Custom Saddle Making business too! Anyone in the market contact me! I posted the pic of 10 years ago with both Micah (23) and Jesse ( 20) as well as the last time I got to see my man at Christmas…
If you are or have ever suffered from an addiction and fought the disease until you felt like you would never win, you understand that you were not the only one affected. As a matter of fact the impact on loved ones is traumatic. It destroys relationships and hurts everyone involved. But addiction is a disease, so should that fact play into it? Would you be angry at your family member if they had cancer or diabetes and it took a toll on the whole family?
This is a question that goes into the minds of every family and every addict. It’s a very difficult question to answer, but there are some absolutes either way.
First there are no addicts that don’t regret the pain they caused. There are no addicts that don’t wish they could take all the pain and suffering that they’ve caused and make it go away. Some may vocalize it and verbalize it in different ways and others may not even talk to other people about it but that’s the truth.
Next, there are no families of addicts who don’t have some resentment towards their loved one for the pain that they’ve suffered. No matter whose fault or whether it is a disease or not, it does not make the pain any easier to bear.
So how should the addict feel about that pain that they’ve caused others while fighting the disease they have? And what can they do about it if anything? They need to do something and here’s why;
Addiction unlike other diseases often has behaviors associated with it that drastically and dramatically affect family members and loved ones.
Like stealing, lying, cheating, even physically harming others. These are some behaviors that do not often occur with other diseases like cancer or many others. Two things must be in place in order for this to work. First there must be a genuine desire on behalf of the addict to help heal those that they harmed. Second there has to be a willingness on behalf of the hurt people to forgive and to genuinely forgive. If those two components don’t exist there is no possibility for a new start for that family.
In groups like AA and NA ( which I am not a big fan of) there is a step to ” make amends” with those you have hurt. However saying your sorry is rarely enough. There needs to be a mutual willingness to work together to heal a sa family. This can occur through therapy effectively. It can also help tremendously if the family of the addict comes to terms with the fact that nobody wants to be an addict. They must also come to terms with the fact that addiction has been scientifically proven to be a disease. A great resource for families to understand the details of this is the Recovery Research Institute.
I encourage all families to study this site and become educated on addiction before deciding how to address the addict in your family. It is the leading tool for cutting edge information on the disease of addiction.
So does the addict have an out, because it is a disease? Is this what I am implying? No I am not at all. I am saying however that it is a two-sided street to recovery for the family affected by addiction. If you are a family that relies on guilt, shame, embarrassment, or similar tactics, you are likely driving your loved one closer to suicide than being able to quit their addiction.
Any addict would do anything possible to avoid and eliminate pain they have caused their loved ones. But they must be given the opportunity to help in the healing process. You, as a family must engage and become familiar in what to do, how to talk to your addicted loved one, and what boundaries to draw and what ones not to.
Even is an addict gets clean, if there is nothing but resentment and anger from their family then no healing is possible.
During the course of serious addiction there may be good cause to remove the addict from the house due to any threats of harm to the family or other issues. That may have to be part of the process. That does not mean there won’t be a day that you all can be reunited. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Addiction is a cruel and dirty rotten disease. It takes no prisoners and steps on anyone in it’s path. It can literally break hearts without even trying. It is straight from the pit of hell in my opinion and it hurts way too many people today. The sadder news is that the success rate of addiction treatment centers ion the USA is around 10%. Yep – you read right, 10%.
It takes alot of work and effort for the addict to get well because we do not serve them very well. And groups like AA tend to reinforce to the addict that they are powerless to do anything about their addiction. That is why they also enjoy a 10% success rate. I will note that faith based rehabs and treatment centers do actually have rates of success as high as 80% but not all are willing to allow God into their recovery.
I am not telling you to feel sorry for the addict and ignore their destructive behavior patterns. I am telling you that they want out as much as you want them out. So treat them like the diseased person they are. I cannot tell you how harmful to the recovery of an addict when they have no family support. I have sat in groups both as a patient long ago and as a professional for 20 years and listened to addicts cry about how their family has given up on them. You know what? Most of them give up on themselves too.
So although this is a brief post when it comes to addiction, I think its worth leaving it right here because this is such a critical part of helping an addict to het through recovery. Family support. When you go to the Recovery Research Institutes website you will find all kinds of resources like what language to use when talking to an addict, and many other valuable tools that can expedite recovery,
Remember, nobody – not one person on this earth wants to be an addict.
I’ve been out awhile. I could not tell you how long. Don’t care either. I’m surprised I ever returned to Blogging. My life has been peppered with trauma. In my immediate family we’ve walked through addiction,. Depression, suicide, domestic violence, you name it. I don’t know if you ever ” get used ” to the trauma..However you do learn to cope,
The issues at hand this last week or two were especially troubling to me. Much like the sudden suicide of my brother, and death of both my only grandparents, there was and still is a certain finality about the whole thing.
If you’ve ever lost a loved one unexpectedly, you know that the feelings that troubled you were very different then the typical feeling ” blue” or down. There is a certain finality, a certain heaviness of heart that is present. Those heavy burdens do not rest at night so you can. You cannot shelve them so you can do your job well, or be there for your family. In that sense they are a paralyzing set of feelings.
The emptiness that comes with betrayal, unforgiveness or other human behavior can be as severe as the trauma of having your brother shoot himself in the head after being molested by his catholic priest. I know this for a fact because I have lived through both. This time was different though. I don’t recall ever feeling the way I did ( and still do honestly) before with any family problems, marriage issues or even divorce.
I knew right when this thing started to take its toll that it would need to be published . I didn’t want to publish it, not then, not now not ever. That is how feelings work. They try to get us to believe that we are in charge of what will happen in our future.
So, there were a couple of issues (still present) that appeared to start at the same time. I feel like the one that would most easily be related to by my fellow bloggers would be the issue in my life that has to do with unforgiveness.
I am learning the price of unforgiveness. The cost of refusing to allow God or anybody to help you be able to forgive someone who hurt another. I’m not refusing to forgive anyone.
The thing is the forgiveness was refused to me by a loved one. Things that happened over the years, situations I have had to work through with depression, addiction etc. have now resurfaced over a decade later and from my own family. Most of my family was supportive of me when I tried to get help in several rehabs, spent years trying different meds for major depression, even though I knew most meds for depression do more harm than good. I didn’t know what else to do. I didnt ask to be an addict anyways. But boy am I paying the price for it regardless.
If you are an addict or former addict you likely have run into it somewhere by somebody, Here is the thing to consider; there are only a handful of people who are close enough to you to have the goods on you in such a way that even if your life has totally changed, they can reach into their memory tool belt and start reminding you in great detail just how much damage you did by each individual season in your life.
If you are like me and have been through depression, addiction and 7 hip surgeries which sapped me of everything I had financially , emotionally, physically and spiritually then you have people out there somewhere that at any given moment could bring memories up and hurt you.
In many ways that is what is going on in my life but with a slight twist. The root reason any person would bring up the past would be unforgiveness, However beyond the unforgivness, some might even take offense when you are having even a tiny bit of success in your life. Why should you get to enjoy a moment in your life until you have suffered as long or longer as the people you hurt along the way.
Now we are in an entire different category than just unforgiveness. We are seeing much more than unforgiveness but the bitterness which comes from unforgiveness. That bitterness wants to hurt and tear down as much as possible. In my case it took me many years after I was doing better to even forgive myself and anyone who knows me will tell you that is how I have been all my life. Much harder on me than anyone could ever be. So when a person you love who has known you a very long time or even a sibling decides to reopen those wounds for you believe it takes a special person to enjoy distributing that kind of pain.
The incident this time was especially final. For lack of a better term I just mean it was much different from a quick reference to the past to make a point . The shock for me was that I could tell by the way the play by-play came so naturally with exact times and dates of every error I ever made . In
Perhaps all these years I was fooling myself about having been forgiven. Whatever the case I was totally caught off guard and more significant than that I felt wounded to the point of becoming physically sick. I have not slept or felt normal in two weeks. So in the past weeks I have thought it all through and a question kept popping in my head. ” How come I have never allowed anyone in my life to have that much power over me with their words, but that day I melted like candle wax.”
The answer came in a few minutes and was simple. Not many people in our lives have that kind of power, meaning not just details of wrong, but the ability to make it personal to them and accuse you of robbing them of quality of life. There are always a few people ( usually family members, spouses etc) who have a much greater stash of weapons in their tool belt of memories.
Many people may ” know” about your problem maybe it was even on the news. Who cares, look at Bill Clinton. He has absorbed truthful and embarrassing accusations with proof that he was guilty yet he never even thought of stopping public spotlight. None of the people who ” knew” had the right authority or tools. However, can you imagine if he had not had Hillary trained as well he did? She had and still has the power to drop him in a New York second if he steps out of line again. Fortunately for him, she is as greedy as he is, and has ridden his coat tails all the way to where she got.
My point is that we are always vulnerable to someone. On the other side of the coin if I had to name one lesson I learned during this, is I found out that as a Christian, my security is not 100% in Christ as it should be. My concern should be for His reaction to my life, not any human. It’s just very hard when you have a small circle of family that has the ability to make things hurt more with their words than the average person.
We have all made mistakes. Do not let someone control your emotions by reminding you of your past.