I’m tired of being a Christian

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What A great post about a persons struggle with God and life- Click ” Im tired of being a Christian” then read my comments.

http://http://purposefulfaith.com/power-of-christ/Source: I’m tired of being a Christian

This an article I read that really speaks to what Christians are going through today. One critical issue that was not mentioned, is that it is WE the CHRISTIANS running people away form church. Walking around acting as if we are better then others when the only difference is that we are forgiven for our sins by accepting what Christ did on the cross. It is sad to me that the entire post from this person referenced issues that are nowhere mentioned in the Bible. That’s called bad teaching in the church.
Jesus came to set the captives free, not put us in bondage. Fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, shame, and all that can be gone when you turn it over to Christ. I cannot fault the author for the feelings written. I can only pray that God will raise up some Bible preaching leaders so the world will get the truth, that Jesus is the key to freedom, not a ball and chain of religious activities. If you recall, Jesus shunned the ” Good Doers” who bragged about their righteousness. He went right to the dirty nasty sinners and used them. Why? Simple. people who have been bound in sin would never take credit for the miracles God does through them. They know they are unclean. But now, they are clean, for Christ to use them. Sometime check out the men and women God selected to use greatly in the Bible. Murderers, thieves, prostitutes, and the like. They were humble, they knew they needed a savior. They were honored to be chosen to serve God. On the other hand, the Pharisees wandered around with their long robes with scripture etched on them, bragging of their deeds and putting down the ” sinners “.
Until we get to the point that we understand we all have this disease called sin, we will never be searching for a savior. Some try Buddha, but he is dead, some Mohamed also buried and some make up their own religions, thinking maybe that will earn them a spot in Heaven. There is this problem. Jesus said ” I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man shall see God except through me”
He also said to the disciples, ” if you have seen me, you have seen the Father”- Not to mention the verse in the Bible that assures Every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. There are too many to list. The point is that we all are sinners and we all need a savior. God put a plan together that was discussed some 800 years before Christ was born about this was going to go down. Isaiah 53 speaks of the life and death of our savior, and he lived 800 years before the birth of Jesus. Whether its a cult, a ritual, a religious activity you do, or whatever- none will get you into heaven. When you die you will only be evaluated on one issue regarding heaven or hell; Are you washed in the blood of Christ, or did you reject that offer on earth. That is it folks. Lastly, made up funky cults don’t fool God. Jehovah Witness, Mormons and all the hundreds of man made clubs will lead you straight to hell as well. If you stand before God, who gave His son to suffer and die to forgive us our sins, and whip out some lame story of why you have another reason you should be allowed in, you are basically spitting in the face of God- implying that the work on the cross and the rising from the dead was not necessary since you came up with another plan. On paper it looks pretty stupid doesn’t it?
Guess what, it is. If you haven’t begged God for forgiveness in Christ, consider that you will live eternally. There are only 2 places to go. One is total separation from God with the knowledge that you had opportunities on earth to be forgiven. The other, is to spend eternity with the Lord and all those who had accepted Christ as their savior. Let me double dare you to sincerely ask Jesus into your life and to reveal Himself to you, and make it known He is real. After all, what is there to be afraid of? If its a big fairytale, you move on with your life. But if you suddenly have change in your heart, you have your answer. God loves you, even if you call yourself an atheist. Listen, I am no better then anyone reading this. I just know I am forgiven and try to seek Gods plan for my life. You see, my plan – well it didn’t work. God Bless You and contact me anytime about anything. tjpetri16@gmail.com
tj
www.dontlabelmykid.com

Kids- Nobody Likes To Admit It- But When It Comes Right Down To It- The Tail Waggeth The Dog.

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My second youngest daughter is 8. That age when she starts to be aware of ” stuff” like Iphones, make up and the like. My boys are 21 and 18 and I think things went pretty well with them, discipline wise. They did something wrong, they knew a consequence was coming.
Somehow I seem to have more difficulty issuing consequences to my little princess, or ” poca” as I call her after pocahontas. I am still totally 100% in control, dont get me wrong.
It just seems that she has a certain way of tearing up that makes my heart weak I know she couldnt be doing it on purpose. She must really be taking this hard, poor kid.
The thing is, about 15 years ago I spent 5 years as a live in foster parent for teenage girls, 6 at a time. I do seem to recall it being a common source of manipulation for them to turn on the tears when they didnt like the answer they got…
Surely those girls had deep troubles. My baby girl is as innocent as they come.
Until yesterday, that is. My little princess pushed it over the ” my daddy loves me” line. It was a simple thing really, we were all doing a little cleaning up, and I asked her to bring the dust pan from the room she was in, into the room I was in. First I thought I heard a little complaining, but I assured myself it must be the television. Just then, around the corner she flew, stopping at the door and tossing the dust pan right at my forehead.
Something snapped in me. I am not sure what exactly, but it ended with no television for the night and she was a few years younger it would have been much worse. After a few minutes I began to pace around and question myself. I used to teach on this! I taught teachers on this! Parents too. Now I found myself stuck in an uncomfortable position. Not having to issue a consequences, but having to ask my the question ” Why would my daughter ever feel comfortable throwing anything at anyone”- that was my real issue.

The answer in case this has happened to you, is not that you are a bad parent, necessarily. The real answer lies within the circle of role models the child is surrounded with. Especially adults, the teachers, parents friends parents etc..You are the first line for your children. The old saying ” the apple doesnt fall from the tree ” is right on. Many hundreds of times I sat in meetings at schools, whether IEP or another type. During these meetings I would hear a parent cussing his teen up and down for acting out. The child realized at a much younger age what is acceptable in his home, by the modeling of his parents.

We could go on about this subject for hours, but for now, let me throw in one other critical topic that will help you understand how and why your child has to have postivie and negative reinforcement. I taught parent training for Orange County Public schools, and several other large parenting groups for years.The one thing that was always the biggest surprise, and the most difficult for for parents to change, was what we call ” ratios”. Ratios happen all day each day to your child. They come from you, teachers, and other adult instructors.

During the trainings, I would ask the class , if they had to guess what the ratios of postive to negative comments or negative to comments would be in their house on the average day. Most smirked because positive comments were not all to common..so when we finished the average for each class was about 15 negatives for every positive comment. Why is this important? Because psychologists have proven over and over that positive reinforcement is the only way to actually change patterns of behavior. Sure, if people are yelling and screaming you might get them to stop for the moment by yelling negative comments at them. but that is just a band aid.

Here is one way to start seeing changes in your childs behavior and it doesnt require doctors or counseling -just parents and their kids. The idea is to reverse the thinking which on the average is about 15:1 and try to eventually reverse it. You may be thinking ” YOU ARE NUTS” but I promise you if you try the ” catch -em being good” method you will not be dissapointed. The trick is to forget about what you dont want to see. Look for the behaviors you do want to see. Take a small behavior issue like a child looking down when you speak to him. When you repeatedly ask him to look you in the eyes you get nothing. Now, lets say a week has passed, and you are talking to him, when all of the sudden he glances your way for a second. This is your chance to start turning the behavior around. You stop everything and praise the boy for making eye contact. After awhile he will look at you just for the praise. You can apply this to any type behavior, school work, whatever it may be. 15:1 positive to negatives. If you are chuckling at this, imagine if your boss started praising you 15 times a day. Wouldnt that make you likely to continue it? Of course.
Well, I have to go and clean my daughters room now. We made a deal if I did that I could watch the sports channel tonite.

tj

Dont Complain About The Behavior Of Kids Today- We Trained Them.

When I was little I always heard stories from older folks who would tell of the consequences of their behavior if they were caught doing the things kids do on a daily basis today. Everyone, the kids and their parents shrugged it off and laughed. You know the stories, they had to walk in 5 feet in snow each way uphill to school and how they worked doing chores until sunset. Then the subject of discipline came up and there was never an issue.

Most kids back in the day were lucky if they got a choice between a switch and a belt. And that right there might be for just being disrespectful to there parents. Today kids are hitting their parents and no consequences. In many cases parents do whatever the kid wants to keep them happy since they are now scared of them. When I go out in public and watch the way teenagers talk to their parents, I am amazed. Even after 20 years working in some of the most tough areas, I still get shocked once in awhile.

I think it all started when the state decided what parents can and cant do to discipline kids. I all for keeping kids from being abused and neglected. However none of my 5 ever smarted off or got out of line without a slap on the butt. Of course we are talking during the age when they cannot communicate with words, 2-3 years old. There must be a response cost for negative behavior at that age or it is difficult to issue one at 15.

Another thing that seemed to take us on a downhill turn was to take any moral codes out of our teaching system. All these atheists fighting to get prayer out out of school, and look where we are. God forbid Mr Atheist that a kid might learn some things like the golden rule, or not to steal. What in the world do you have against a kid learning this kind of teaching?

Of course the invasion of sexual perversion as in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah back decades ago did not help. Now we have convinced ourselves that we may be ” gay” or “bi” or “tranny” or whatever. Actually Ms Jenner just started a whole different category because he says he still has his male parts but feels his female soul coming out. Huh? No more Wheaties cereal boxes for the former athlete. Maybe he will come out with a line of cereal called Sweeties instead, who knows.

Now we find ourselves with huge problems with delinquent behavior and nobody knows what to do. Thank God for the Psychiatrists and big pharmaceutical who have ” saved the day”. They are working overtime to make sure that there is some kind of official mental health disorder to tag these kids with, and the drug companies have been kind enough to help out by rapidly squeaking any kind of drug they can by the FDA , and coincidentally – just in time for the new mental health labels.

Now, we have teens with problems, being sent to psychiatrists as young as 8 or 9 and diagnosed with a mental health disorder and put on controlled drugs! In the world we live in, a mother sitting at home watching Dr. Phil sees a kid acting like her child and assumes their child is bi-polar too. A quick trip to the doc, describing the symptoms she saw on Dr Phil, and she may walk out with a label and meds too. All the while not many people pay attention to the very close relationships the doctors have with the drug makers. Millions of dollars are made by doctors who prescribe a drug company’s newest designer drug. Not every doctor. An article in the Washington Post said that about 94% of doctors had personal relationships with at least one drug maker they used.

What does this mean and why does it matter? It matters because once a person is labeled with a mental illness, especially a child, there is a huge stigma that forever haunts them. Out of the thousands of kids I have worked with who had labels, almost all of them when asked why they misbehaved, would tell me verbatim their DSM diagnosis and that they had no control.

Wow. One day several years ago a doctor gave this kid a label, possibly for financial gain, only to have the kid live out the prophecy. Today it has become so common that there is a pill for everything. Too much laughing, too much crying, the new DSM has one called ” Teenage Rebellion Syndrome” in it. Did they just make a teen who rebels, a mental health patient? I am not 100% sure, but I believe America is either the only one or one of a few that even allows commercials on television for drugs. All day long we see them, do you pee too much, ever feel down? How about your teenager is out of control- well stupid, sedate the kid! Get him to a head doctor.

Now I want to point out that mental health and the need for doctors and clinicians is very real. There are many people out there who suffer from terrible anxiety, phobias, depression and the like. That is not what I am writing about here today. I am talking about those doctors who have literally ruined the lives of others by labeling them. So people ask me all the time, ” well what if they are mentally ill” and that’s a fair question. I never said mental illness does not exist. I do however believe that drug companies and doctors are handing out labels and meds too quickly.

If a child does truly meet criteria for a mental illness, it is critical that the people who love and work with them don’t make that label their identity. It should never be brought up unless it has too.

In a nutshell, we have taken away the rights of parents to even spank a child, taught them there are no consequences for their behavior, taken any hope of them finding some help through school prayer or Bibles, and dumped them on the doctors to medicate. By the way i talk about drugs alot and how they are prescribed. If you want to know the real ugly truth, go onto the public website for clinical trials and the FDA. They have to show what trials took place and how it went, including the results.

Lets just say this; If I was Shire Drug Company, and I was looking to get a new drug approved for mood swings, here is what is required.

First, a clinical trial- meaning a group of say 40 people who agree to stay for 6 weeks for this trial and be monitored each day. Each day the nurse is to check in and rate the patient on their mood. At the end of the 6 weeks, now hear this, if 20 of the 40 say that they think their mood has improved by at least 10%- we have a winner. So when you see on television the commercials that say, ” most people who took ********** drug reported an improvement in their mood. It is now legit to now say that the majority of people who tried this drug felt better! Its a miracle!

The FDA and Drug companies, as well as doctors is another story and much more detailed.

Just think twice before accepting labels, and if your child does have a label, avoid using the term. Focus on strengths. In some cases I have seen parents go for a second opinion and the 2nd doctor found no grounds for any labeling. Just FYI- Peace-Tj

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If Nobody Else Will Address It- I will. We Are Losing Our Kids…

In this blog I have addressed issues to do with parenting, teens, addicts, doctors, meds, abuse by the big drug companies and their cozy ties with psychiatrists who also happened to get some handsome compensation for writing the new drugs these makers put out. I was in a unique position in my career, as worked years on the clinical side for a psychiatrist, and the last 10 years working more behavior based programs. They both have their flaws, and low success rates in general. We talk about ” At-Risk” families and all these programs out there for parenting. I used to teach those. Useless.

These days folks have their 10 year old kids running the streets selling dope for their parents. When kids become a hassle and interfere with the parents drug lifestyle. they tell teachers the kid is out of control, and eventually gets to the doctor for a label and meds which he accepts as his fate and fulfills the prophecy about him..that’s just a small part of this problem, but it is getting big. I wrote a few times about pedophiles and gave everyone a prompt to keep track of the local child predators near you. They are EVERYWHERE. In Florida, in the last week I have heard of 4 children kidnapped, raped and killed at ages 4-7. I live in a decent town and 1 in every 19 people have a record of child molesting.

These are not the days where the neighborhood raises the child. These are not the days when you can let your 10 year old daughter skate to the corner store for a snack. Those are gone. Sick child predators are roaming the streets looking for victims, and there is no cure. Those are one group of people who if convicted, should be released to the parents and family out behind the courthouse, no hearing needed. They should be executed on the spot. We have white color harmless people serving 20 years in prison for cheating on taxes, but let these scumbags out time after time again.

People today wonder why some teens are so disrespectful to adults. All you have to do is put them in a room with their parents most times and you will find out why. The apple does not fall far from the tree. One of the techniques I used on thousands of kids, teachers and staff I trained was to help them retrain there brain on how much they criticize children. The hardest part of any trainings I have ever done for staff, parents, or anyone else, is the ratios of positive to negative statements from the adult to child in one day. When I ask about how many times a day these parents criticize or yell at their children, the answers ALWAYS was somewhere between 13-20 times per day.

When asked how many positive comments they made each day it was usually silent for a minute before some brave soul raised their hand and mumbled a number usually between 1-4. There is a big problem with this, not only with children but with adults. Negative reinforcement is a band aid for the moment, which is another nail in the self esteem of the child. It has been proven that negative behavior does not change long term by criticism. Yelling at your child, threatening them with violence, or the like only serves to lower their self esteem and motivation.

One of secrets I used from near the beginning was to reverse the ratios. Psychologist have proven over and over that people who are praised for things will likely do them more frequently. So you have to retrain your brain to give 15 positives to each negative per day. You select the behavior you want, and watch for it. When you see it, you praise praise praise.

With the positive changes you see in the child you can set up little motivators to continue this behavior. For example. if your 10 year old would never follow instructions, ( which btw you need to tell them how) like 1- look at the person 2- say ok 3-do the task and 4- check back. Its easy to teach, easy for them to do, and if they know that if they follow instructions 85% of the time this whole week, they get a special reward, you will see the magic. So start thinking in your mind 15-1 ratios from now on. Catch your kid being good! Just the attention they get is sometimes worth it to them.

At any rate, this a worldwide problem and kids are giving up on themselves since they have these labels that in many cases are so useless. There is an appropriate time and place and child that needs special medication and care. Out of the 88 expelled children I served, we had 2. I am putting a book together on what labeling does to kids emotionally and the way the system is designed to fail them and is money driven. If you or someone you know has been affected by these type of situations, please contact me and share your story. Thanks!

tj

Addict Or Mental Health Patient? Lets Quit Playing Games. I Am Going To Keep This Real Like No Other Post, So Beware.

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I talk about parents and kids and pedophiles and the like on here. However when I scan through the posts I have done over the years I found it very odd that I avoided the one that has cost me the most in my life. Addiction. I worked with addicts/mental health patients ( depending on where they are treated) for many years. The difference between me and them was that I had a secret. I had grown up an ” addict”. My father laid out a case of PBR when I was 12 and from then on it got worse and worse. I was a full blown ” addict” by 16. I made it through jobs, and even did very well at them. That is called a functional alcoholic. That lasts for awhile until eventually it catches up with your ability to function.

My father , brother are both long term prisoners. My dad will die in there. My other brother shot himself in the head right after graduating UF to be a cop. It took me many people praying and many nights of wanting to die to get to the place where I am today. I have been to 30 day, and 90 day inpatient programs, 2 years of AA type meetings ( they have about a 5% success rate BTW)-
If it was not for the praying people around me and the healing that God did in my body, there is no chance I could be writing this. I am being truthful. One surgeon, after my pancreas exploded, came in my room and told me I would not live any longer due to the damage. That night an old christian friend of the family came in my room by herself, leaned over to my ear, and said ” I have a word for you- YOU SHALL LIVE AND NOT DIE”- Then she left the room. I had not seen her in months.

The next morning the same surgeon comes barging in the door to my room holding up an X-RAY to the light. He said ” I dont understand, what happened? The sickness, it is all gone!” Left that day without anything but another nudge from the Lord that He was not giving up on me. I could tell 15 more events that were nothing short of miracles too. As a matter of fact, here is a quick one. I was driving my convertible mustang down the road and doing maybe 45-50 mph. 3 blocks from my house. I blacked out and headed straight for a very big old tree and hit it head on. I remember waking up with the air bag the color of velvet, my forehead torn open, and then a voice. It was a highway patrol man. He stood back about 6 feet, looked again at the car which was totaled like an accordian, and with a soft voice asked me if I could talk. I kicked the driver door open, it was stuck, and walked right along with him telling him what happened.
This is back in the day when I was one of ” those”. I knew I had to go to the hospital.. and i knew that meant toxicology tests…I was not worried about alcohol. I had graduated to higher class type drugs.
I went to the hospital , got the 45 stitches in my face, the doctor gave the tox report to the highway patrol man and after the report, it said ” medical blackout” cause unknown. It could have read a whole lot different.
My point is, most addicts did’nt ask to be addicts any more then cancer patients ask to become cancer patients. I have been through 15 years of hating my life, and then having others tell me how I am wrecking it, like I don’t know it. Where there are many experts, there are few answers. I will be focusing on the myth of addiction in up and coming blogs. One of the reasons I went into the field of social work was to help these type of people. Little did I know I had a live it awhile before I could be any help.
Peace

tj

What Should We Be Telling Our Children About The Crazy Things They See in This World Everyday?

Wow. Not a day goes by that one of my kids don’t point at something then ask me ” why are they doing that “- it used to be a once in awhile thing but in the last decade or 2 things have changed.These days we are not debating if they are old enough to get an earring . I think about the changes being very carefully introduced into society that 20 years ago would not be discussed, yet today things of that nature are commonplace.

I notice that with all the changes most parents try to avoid contact or any accountability. Do any parents ( like me) still cry in bed once in awhile at what our children face each day? I pray that my kids would be so aware of what is right and wrong that their convictions would overpower their temptations.I think each day about how they will handle not flying into la-la land each day believing that what they see in this world is good just because that’s what people are doing. I happen to be a believer. I am a Christian who is is fortunate enough to have been taught the tools of the church (Bible). Even my smaller children recognize sin when they see it, once in a while in our home and out.

I am not preaching the Gospel here, but I am suggesting that you have a home base for all.

In order to do this as parents, we must  model and participate in the types of things we wish for them to learn. I am opposed to sheltering our children from whats out there, as they need to see the consequences of our actions. However today’s world is no longer even realistic, and sometimes it is straight up nasty, and the people who support the nasty  are those high in office. Big problems for us parents. We have got to avoid the mistake of trusting what popular political figures are lighting a spark to so that our kids avoid the inferno ahead.

Please comment with any ideas you have found helpful!

tj

Is This Really Happening? Sexual Predators At Disney?

Another problem nobody seems to be aware of. Sexual predators are being busted left and right trying to have sex with little girls. These guys are full blown adults. Husbands, fathers and going from their jobs at Sea World or maybe a law firm to meet who they think is an underage girl for sex. i am sure we have all seen it 20/20 or some other special. However it is a growing problem and so far in my state of Florida, I have really seen only one man as pissed off about it as I am.

Grady Judd, the long time advocate for these kids is the sheriff of Polk County Florida. He has a passion to get these scumbags off of the streets. If you have children, imagine the horror of finding out that your 8 or 9 year old was brutally raped. Law or no law, if that happened to one of my kids, it would be immediate execution behind the barn. Old school-backwoods and with at least a few hours of relentless torture in places they never knew they even had before any shots fired.

Anyhow, how this ties into my blog is that over the years I have worked with many children who were sexually abused by their own family members, but as to not be revealed, they took their children tho therapists or psychiatrists and reported odd symptoms typical of anti-social behavior, which just by chance are similar to the symptoms of sexual abuse.

If you do nothing else, check your local area on the internet to see where they live by you. Check this article out..By the way, these guys do less time then most no-violent offenders.

tj

“Wherever you find children, you’ll find sexual predators:” Dozens of theme park employees caught in sex stings, child porn arrests

Tough Question My 8 Year Old Asked Me At Subway…

After school I usually pick up my baby daughter and grab some lunch or do something like go walk on the beach. Today it was Subway and it all seemed pretty vanilla to me. Small talk, nothing heavy, when all of the sudden she breaks out with this ” What happened to Miley Cyrus?”

” Miley Cyrus? I said, umm what about her?” My daughter went on to ask me how she went from being a teen Disney character on a popular teen show to a out of control, no limits, anything goes, young woman. I was stuck. Do I blame it on Billy Ray and ” Dont Break My Heart”? Maybe I should say she got hooked on drugs and went a little crazy. The truth is, I don’t know what happened.

All I know is that I cannot allow any Miley around the girls anymore. This is not a post judging Miley Cyrus by the way, it is about how to explain the world we live in and how much control we should maintain over what our kid’s watch and listen too. I have always been a big believer in reality. Not just reality, but getting the reality to my kids before it finds them.

When my boys were young, I took them to some of the juvenile facilities I worked at. I exposed them to both sides and the consequences of both sides. It seemed to have worked out well, so I stick with it. Here is the thing, if a parent never points out the wrong in society, and just keeps calling it ” tolerance”, you may have a big problem when your child becomes an adult.

I ended up asking my daughter if she would like to live that kind of life, that Miley is living. I left it in her hands for the moment. After some thought, she just shook her head no and made a weird face. I did not threaten her or tell her she better never be like that. That does not work. What does seem to work is every once in a while, expose your children to the good and the bad, and the consequences of both.

There is good and bad, by the way. Right and wrong do exist. Not everyone agrees on what it is, but at some point we need to grow a back bone and tell our children what is for sure wrong. Don’t be one of the parents who goes with the flow and accepts anything the media throws out as acceptable. That is weak parenting.

None of us are perfect parents, but we have got to bring our children up to speed on what is happening in this world. Don’t let your own blood fall prey to the dark things that are invading this world. You are not doing them any favors. I still don’t know why Miley Cyrus ended up in rehab or wherever she is. One thing is for sure, I wont let my 8 year old think it is the path to take.

tj

May I Please Give You Money ? Why Customer Service Is So Pathetic.

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My grandfather took me to a Wendy’s once when I was about 10. The cashier who waited on us was fairly rude, but basically he just did not pay us attention as much as the girl he was talking to in the back. We waited for our food, and although it was clearly done and on the tray, he continued to laugh with the girl, ignoring us as we drooled over our food which was just out of reach on the counter. My grandfather was very upset, and looked at the boy and asked him if he knew what customer service was.

The boy just smirked and my grandfather with his hard German temper, stormed off with me to the table. We sat down and he looked up at me and said ” Don’t you ever let anyone treat you like that! We will not come here again. I cannot believe we stood there as that boy talked to the girl and our food is right there! No manners, it figures too, since he is a negro.” I grabbed my burger, swung my feet under the chair and pondered what we might do tonight. Gramp often got upset, and this was just another time and he would calm down.

Times have changed in more than one way. Today I feel lucky if I get fair treatment at any store and the word ” negro” is out. I think gramp would throw his reuben sandwich across the counter if he had to deal with today’s arrogant customer service level. It seems as if the expectations for employees have fallen so low that basic social skills, less than 3 felonies, and no drug use on the job will land you a gig. At least it seems that way, and I certainly have not jumped the gun on this. I have been wanting to rant about this for a year, but I always told myself that it must be a fluke, the way customer service was a year ago.

I was wrong. It really does suck. I am hesitant to go certain places just because certain employees irritate me to the point that it stays with me the whole day. I actually find myself looking to see who is working at some places, so I can mentally rehearse my request with the least amount of shame. If I am lucky enough to catch a staff member when they aren’t texting that is, otherwise forget it. There is a woman at the 7-11 near me that makes my nerves twitch. No matter what I do or buy, she always has a smart comment for me.

I bought gas the other day and said ” I am on the far pump in the green truck” since I could not see the number. Her response – ” Hunny do I look like a mind reader? There are 2 green trucks out there. Do you want me to pump the gas for ya too?” Another time the same dame came at me with the old ” Sir, don’t you have anything smaller than this 20?” I replied that all I had was that 20 dollar bill. Of course you would think I handed her 23 shekels and 13 Canadian quarters to deal with the way she carried on.

Finally her response cost to me for daring to bring a 20 in there was to do the 7-11 shuffle…slide across the floor to the safe, put the money in and say ” Well, guess you just have to wait til I get some more bills” I nodded and smiled as to avoid any further talk. But she wasnt done. To the 5 people behind me in line she announced ” Sorry Y’all, I am so sorry to hold Y’all up, but I am waitin on change for this guy, he brought a big bill in.” Big Bill? Twenty dollars are now a big bill? Or could it be that some people just hate their lives so much that they try to make others miserable too?

And what is up with the guilting the customer to the max so the employee does not have to do any extra work? I mean every where I go, if I ask for any help, it is as if I just requested help throwing up in the restroom or something. You would think ” Can you tell me where the batteries are” would cause a short response like ” On aisle 3 sir, right down there”- not  ” (deep breath and sigh) Johnny! We got any more batteries? This guy cant find them, can you look when your done with your smoke? Sir he will be in here in a few to help you. You know batteries are cheaper over at Wal -Mart-

I really believe that just as we lowered our standards for the white house, we also allowed a huge drop in quality in the world of customer service. Maybe the 2 are linked, I don’t know but it sure is frustrating having to ask someone to please take my money and provide that service as best you can…please..sir-heck my mother practically schedules her errands around which people will be working at the stores. She is a senior so she gets it even worse than I do. Then again, she is at the age where a 6% tip for a meal is sufficient, so it could be…that.

At any rate, I believe that we as a nation have simply settled. We do not demand the highest quality of anything. The old school citizens who gave their lives for this place would never have imagined we would have squandered what they fought for. There is a verse in the bible saying if we are not faithful with a little, we will not be given more. If we are given much, much is expected. Fail. We have lowered the bar in almost every area, serving the people who care the least about this country the most and neglecting to tend to those who are the fabric of our framework.

We are afraid to offend anyone so we go overboard and serve the opposition. People are so afraid to mention God but allah and his crew are hired in the white house. Our president donated 3 Billion to the muslim brotherhood recently. They were talking sharia law for a little while. Our own president is so ashamed of this country that he refuses to salute the flag or say the pledge. That is our ” leader” refusing to say the pledge, or salute the flag…of the country he leads..anybody with me here? Our customer service is simply a bi-product of our leadership.

We have become what we have put in charge. A people who have no allegiance, no conviction and who have seared hearts . We have a sense of entitlement and act like the world owes us something. It’s all about us and what we can do for us, not about the community or the common good. We have modeled for us the fine example of someone who has made it to the top without honesty, without integrity and without any fear of God. We chose to make our leader someone who is unfair, dishonest, double minded, deceptive, and whose motives are in question.

So we have this problem with our customer service and we all wonder why things have changed so much. Yet we stand by and watch as our country is literally picked apart, brick by brick, dismantled . Our friends have been made enemies, people have been divided, our economy has failed and our quality of life has dropped. When I see what has happened and with such direct intention, deliberate action to accomplish a purpose and the purpose is to divide, weaken, and disarm, I must question the executor of these things. One divides for a reason, because a house divided against itself cannot stand. One disarms because that house cannot defend itself.

We are in for much more serious problems then the clerk at the store. It is amazing how little respect we have for one another these days. Then again I feel very little respect from government these days. Perhaps we have, like sheep just followed in the path blazed from on top. A path of poverty, weakness, division and destruction. The saying does go ” The apple does not fall far from the tree…”            So whatever place we are in right now, and whatever the cause, we cannot give in or give up. We need to turn this thing around.

One of my favorite singers is Jeremy Camp. He sings a song that is a favorite of mine, called ” I still believe”- it was written about his wife dying of cancer at 22 years old, and how she told him on her death-bed that no matter what happened she still believed. She died, and Jeremy continued in his Christian ministry because of that faith, Today he has a new life, and family and millions of people have been inspired by his music. He never gave up, he saw death but refused to let it take him down.

Today I wonder if our nation can say  ‘ I still believe” and get back on the horse. Can we get back to where we were when we had the favor of God on us? Can we return to the power that gave us breath? Have we had enough of darkness and division and hopelessness? I really hope so, because it is one thing to fall down, but if you get back up it is respectable. However to fall down and lay floundering, is shameful. I wonder if we can rally the troops and go home. I wonder.

Actually, even after all I have seen, I still believe. Do you?

 

tj

 

Dont Tell My Head It Cant Be Done- My Heart Already Saw It. ( Take That Idea And Go For It!)

If you are a person that goes through the day wondering how to make something new or different happen, I can relate. It seems like no matter where I am I am always trying to think of a way to make something better then it is. I used to think of myself as critical but I later learned that I was just a creative person. I even did a few tests on gifts, and what gifts I have. I was even figuring out how to make the test questions more effective while I was taking the test. Anyhow they all say I am a creative, right brained thinker.

In real terms, this means I hate things that are mundane and similar. I get bored easy and if I had to do the job of an accountant or sit at a desk all day and analyze trends on a graph sheet, I am the guy that would have little drawings all over the paper. I lean back on 2 feet in my chair and cannot stay focused on something I am not into for more then 2-3 minutes before I find an excuse to get up and take a walk. One of my jobs involved managing 60 people and training them on working with children with behavior issues. Since I developed the training and was excited to deliver it to my staff, I could stay focused. However when I had to spend a day training them on some required state guidelines on HIPPA laws I found myself taking breaks every 20 minutes or so just go splash water on my face or get a snack.

My attention span has always been short and I have never been good at repetitive tasks that did not involve any creative thinking. People like me are often criticized by other colleagues, accused of being rude or uninterested in what others are doing. Really I just have a hard time getting excited when someone is trying to explain to me why water towers are shaped like they are.  I am a bottom line guy, and I usually skip to the end of the topic and ask the speaker  ” So whats the bottom line” – This never sits well and its even worse when my wife needs me to listen to something that happened to her today and I jump in with the bottom line tag…

I have matured some, so I don’t just interrupt people and appear rude. I will now usually use my creative side and say something like  ” Wow- this is an amazing topic. Is this in any way related to the other one that we all heard just 2 days ago? It seems similar, but I am not sure if it is exactly the same…but whatever the case, keep it coming! Good stuff! ” – Usually when I lay it out like that, whoever is doing the talking seems to speed things up as they somehow feel a little guilty like they may be repeating something that we all just heard not too long ago…I know it seems terrible, but its the best I have.

Well, whether you are the analytical type, the creative type or something totally different, this post applies to us all. I am writing about moving forward with our ideas. We all have ideas that we wonder how they work and new ways to do things we would like to try. However 99% of the time, none of our ideas go any further then our minds, We either don’t think they are worthy of pressing in on, or we don’t want to risk the chance of looking stupid if it fails. So, right now take a minute and think of an idea you had or have that you never followed through on. Use that idea to think about as you finish this article.

An example for me is an idea I had years ago, that I came up with when I was driving to Orlando one morning to work, sitting in traffic, and trying to read the morning paper. I was so very frustrated, every time I got into an article I would have to inch up a few hundred feet only to stop again..By the time I found my place again, of course the line of traffic would move again. It was pure irritation. My idea was that each time I went into the 7-11 for my coffee and paper, I imagined myself picking up my coffee and a CD. That’s right, a CD. I had the idea to start reading the newspaper onto a disc as soon as it came off the presses at 3am. After it was recorded, I would have it duplicated on a high speed machine that could make 10,000 an hour. The CD’s would be packaged quickly and delivered by many drivers to all the local convenient stores by 5 am.

All the people who enjoyed coffee and the morning paper but had to drive a long way to work, could now sip the coffee, and slip in a CD which would read the news to them. If they didnt want to hear a story that was on, they could skip it just like you would a song. Nice, right? I thought so. The problem was I had no money, no idea how to get it going, and no time to work on it. So, the dream has remained just a dream. I still think about it, but just wondering if it would sell, not as something I would try now. My point here is that I had an idea that I think has potential, but not for me. It may work for another person with other resources but not for me.

Years passed and one day I was at a school I was running – and  I said to a mother of a child I had helped with some problems ” Don’t Label My Kid!”. At the time I was just answering a question she asked me about what to tell her sons doctor if he wanted to give him a mental health diagnoses. But it stuck with me for 10 years. A few years ago I saw it in my mind again spinning around, ended up starting a website by that name, and now it is a phrase that I use all the time and so do many hundreds of people I associate with. It was right for me, it was within my limits and it had a meaning.

If you have an idea that you have been kicking around, go for it. Don’t worry about what anyone will think, just ask yourself if it has a meaning, and if its right for you. Don’t let anyone discourage you. Go for it and see what happens. Most times people who discourage you are afraid themselves, so ignore them and just do it!  Don’t be a person who lives the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if…just do it now. I have no idea who this is for, but someone must need to hear this today -so let me know whoever you all are! I expect a good report!

Tj

How I Stopped Thinking About Football During Church- ( And Other Keys To Succeeding In LIfe )

We all think we have a hold on what we need to do in life to have a sense of success. To say we are doing well, that we have arrived in this game called life. We all think this until another new study comes out that tells us that in order to be successful you must know the 7 keys to success. We must have a working knowledge of the  5 habits of highly successful people.  Of course if you don’t know the 6 things every man needs to know about a woman you are lost as well.

What surprises me the most about the world we live in is the way people look to others to tell them if they should be happy or not. We actually read things to help us determine whether or not we are feeling ok or whether or not we need to seek help. I hear more and more people saying things like  ” is that normal ” when referring to something they like or they think. People are so good at looking to others to find out if they should be ok or not.

So what should we do when we are seeking to know how we feel in our life? Should we compare how others are doing and see if they are happy, sad or indifferent then make a choice to act the same way? Should we read up on all the latest books on how to feel great and have confidence? You know that if someone wrote a book on feeling great, they likely didn’t feel that great at one time in their life. You know if someone is writing a book on how to have self confidence they once were insecure, right? But we don’t dig that deep because we are too interested in how to be in line with what the rest of people are doing and saying about how we should feel.

The most freedom one can have from this type of bondage is too be secure enough in ourselves to enjoy our life just the way it is. We need to enjoy each moment and not be concerned with whether or not our current feelings match with everyone else’s. If we can learn to find the good in each situation we are in, instead of trying to find a ” good ” situation to be in we will experience true peace in our lives. If we wait for everything to line up in our lives perfectly we will never have any peace because they rarely do. The secret to getting over this problem is to slow things down to what we are doing right now and to look for some good things in it.

Don’t get caught in the trap of waiting for things to reach a certain place to enjoy them. As a parent, I recall a time when my children were very young and it was diapers and feeding. I waited for the time they could wear underwear and feed themselves. When it did occur, I began to imagine what it would be like when they could take themselves to their own appointments and sporting events. Now that they are older I find myself thinking of how great it was when they needed me more! We do this in so many areas of our lives that we miss the journey because we wait for the destination. We don’t take time to enjoy what is in front of us because the media has told us that we will not have true enjoyment until we get something else.

I decided long ago to discipline myself and pay attention to what is right in front of me and quit thinking that it was something ahead that was going to give me peace. I have found that the world will keep on turning even of I stop to enjoy what I am doing right now. As a matter of fact this is how I began to stop thinking about football during church- and now I listen to the sermon instead. No matter what you are doing take time to enjoy it because what you are waiting for likely will not live up to the hype anyhow. Live in the now!

tj

Don’t Label My Kid!

Disney Promotes the Gay/ Lesbian/ Transgender Lifestyle- Really?

Disney Promotes the Gay/ Lesbian/ Transgender Lifestyle- Really?

My child could be disciplined at school for wearing a Jesus shirt, or praying on school time. We have kicked God (in our own minds) out of schools and most other places to. Heaven forbid we accidently teach our children right from wrong. We have fought any attempt at morality in this country, and people are mad as hell that there is a cross standing as a memorial near ground zero.

Our country is falling apart, up to our necks in decay and acting like there are no rules at all. Anything goes these days, and we are supposed to accept anything as acceptable. If you beg to differ , you are a bigot, and narrow minded. The latest marketing move by Disney World is to host the most violent addicted, unstable, and most sexually promiscuous group of people known to man.

Statistics show that the gay lifestyle results in more domestic violence, more substance abuse, fewer long term relationships, and an unreal amount of sexual partners. So because they happen to be gay, lesbian or transgender we have to force our kids to see and learn about them, all in the name of equal rights? I do not understand. I am not judging anyone, as I am not the Lord, and nobody will have to give account to me for anything. I am simply pointing out that there is a huge double standard in this country when it comes to what our children should be exposed to. We are supposed to be open minded, and tolerant of the most dangerous group of people around.

What about the KKK or groups like that? Why shouldn’t we teach our children about their lifestyle? Its much less violent than the other group, and hey, its just being tolerant, right? We should not judge them, if we are not judging the gay-lesbian community, right? The bottom line is that people have a free will to live and do as they please, regardless of whether or not it is harmful or dangerous. As a parent however, I do not have to make my kids keep company of violent and unstable people of any sort. The fact that Disney turns their head to the facts about these people they are romancing is clearly a financial decision. They have sold their soul. I will avoid Disney and will teach my children that the safest and most stable relationship is one between a man and a woman. Do I still have that right?