Sometimes in life we miss the most obvious things, even when they right in our face. The old saying ” you are so close to the foresst you cannot see the trees” is true in many aspects of life and many of them have a direct effect on you and I.
Take the Catholic church and their well organized pedophilia racket. It’s so out in the open that the Catholic church even has a website to share with the public how big of an issue it is. Last time I checked in on their Bishops Accountability site they unashamedly posted just under 30k priests currently involved in a molestation accusation. Let me say that number again. 30 thousand priests ( and those are the ones the church is willing to talk about) So imagine what the true numbers might look like. From the Vatican down they are openly and proudly trying to make it illegal for police to know about any molestation allegations against priests!
One New York Bishop recently proposed to the New York Times that the age of consensual sex for priests and their little play toys and alter boys should be…..brace yourself…age 7.
He is asking that as long as the kid they molested is seven or older, its consensual sex. Im not making this up. No shame in their game at all. Not even hiding it. Yet how many devout Catholics will still be attending mass this Saturday or Sunday with their children. Im a parent folks, and if that is you let me just ask this ..
” What Are You Thinking?”
But this post is not about pedoohiles, it is about something that is also being used as a tool to hurt people for personal gain. Im talking about the big drug companies who make anti-depressants. Folks let me ask that if you have not yet read my home page called ” Mental Health Is Driving Me Crazy” please stop here take 5 to read it as it is the entire foundation for this topic.
Now the article I’m sharing with you is just one of thousands from doctors all over the world. They are trying to clue the public in that they are likely being duped, when it comes to anti-depressants and what their true effectiveness ( or lack of) is.
Just like the pedopriest problem, this information is public and available to everyone, yet nobody seems to be paying attention. The doctors are not giving their ” opinions ” on drugs. They are stating statistical facts that the drug makers themselves are not even hiding. Its identical to the situation in the Catholuc church . Nobody is hiding the sin or wrong doing. We the public follow along each other like sheep being led to the slaughter. Never looking up to see what is going around us.
If you did not know this, sheep are some of the dumbest animals in the world. If sheep are following in a line and the first one marches off the edge of a 200 foot cliff, guess what the others do? They follow it right off the cliff to their death!
We are no better folks. Its really time for us to start paying attention to things like these. Just like the sheep, gullible people walk off cliffs to their death, but it may be meds not the steep cliff that kills us.
Before you read this article I just want to point out again like I usually do that mental health is real, depression is real and there’s no question about that. Many doctors like the one in this article will give you different avenues to deal with depression that don’t have to do with medication.
There are many many alternatives and I’m not saying that all medications are bad, so hear me. I’m saying that in many cases they’re not only bad but harmful and they could cause suicidal thoughts. There is full admittance by the manufacturers, there’s no denying or even attempt to deny it.
I bet every single person that reads this post know somebody if not yourself that’s been on or is taking an antidepressant right now because antidepressants are going to be the second leading drug soon in the whole world prescribe so if that applies to you or a friend or family member share this with them or reblogged this so people can see what is going on.
It’s time that we start paying attention to what’s going around in the world around us. See what this doctor suggests you do if it applies to you or a loved one..
A shared post from Anne @ Aussie Christian Freedom.
Sometimes I like to incorporate humor into my posts to keep the site from just being about depression and addiction and PTSD etc… I just cannot be all too funny with this. This is a topic that is DEADLY. I remember, because my brothers suicide wont seem to get out of my mind some days. So I am going to ask everyone to stop and read this, and you know what it may not even apply to you. But it could prevent what happened with my family. I cannot undo the gunshot that ended my brothers life. But I can share my 20 years of experience in mental health and addictions, from a personal, and then a professional standpoint. I sure hope you will send this to anyone that seems like they may be one step away from tragedy. If it is you. I tell you what to do at the end. Anyhow, I hope you take this to heart. Anyone who follows me knows how much I love you all and just want to keep getting the word out that you cannot delay treatment for mental health without terrible consequences. But let me say this, there is some really good news on here about the success we are having worldwide in a new area to help….tj
Is Therapy Going To Drive Me To Suicide?
Most people in and around the mental health field as a client or provider are familiar with these two terms. The question is, what is the difference? Its a valid question that deserves an honest answer.
So your deciding how to address the situation your going through and the options. Whether it be a depression issue, a divorce issue or any other circumstance that has proved itself to be interfering in your routine to the point that you need at least some action. Lets face it, there are thousands of different providers who all claim to offer up the most successful, healing, lasting and least restrictive and intrusive on your life.
Where do you start? A friend’s recommendation? An ad that catches your eye or ear? The most well known methods? Its a tough call for anyone. It does not have to be. You see just as we have progressed in other industries like automobiles, and appliances and homes, the same applies when it is time for mental health choices. We don’t screw bolts into the sides of peoples heads anymore to see the effect. We don’t torture people hoping to alter behavior or feelings. Things have improved. Much progress has been made in these areas and you will do yourself a disservice by not following up on what is working and what is not.
Just because you are struggling with an issue in your life does not paralyze your ability to educate yourself. Of course you must be strong enough to make your own decisions and choices on treatment unless you are in need of inpatient care. This post is about outpatient care. If you follow along you just may see clearly some things that have been unclear until now. I have had extensive experience in both coaching and therapy, both as a client, and eventually as a professional for 20 years. To try and break down all the theories of personality and modalities of treatment would take an entire book. In my opinion it is not necessary.
Everyone has their opinion about what works best and many of the ideas have validity and can indeed help. However do you want to get 45% help when another method would bump that up to 85%? Of course not. Let me add that I have no dog in the hunt. Our team together has decades of experience in just about every major modality used in outpatient therapy. If you want to come lay on a couch each week while we remind each other how miserable your life has been, someone will take your money. But what about outcomes? After all the whole point of therapy is to get better and move on with your life, right?
What if medication is recommended? We all know that game right? Try this for 6 weeks, if it does not make you feel good we will change to the next, and the next and so on. You may be caught up in a weekly sit down regurgitating old dark memories for a year before any medications start working. That is , if they ever work, since even major drug makers have admitted that 5 or 6 of their latest anti-depressants actually cause suicidal thoughts.
OOPS! Yeah, it does happen and it is not uncommon.
But even so, therapy is just so much more ” professional ” sounding. It must be the best if its been around so long. I mean this coaching thing is fairly new. Why take chances on that when you can enjoy the benefits listed above of a therapeutic model?
Maybe because coaching works.
Lets take a closer look at this whole coaching model. The coaching models at least that I am familiar with takes the therapy model and turns it on its head. It rejects everything traditional long term therapy stands for.
Coaching focuses on what is right in your life. What you can do well. What strengths we have. A return to normalcy as soon as possible in the least restrictive environment is key. On the other hand have we all not at one time or another seen a post or article that begins with ” I have been seeing my therapist now for 5 years ” or ‘ My therapist says he thinks I need a higher dose of medication”. If you have not, you need not leave WordPress because they are everywhere.
Try finding one that says they have had their coach for more than a few months. It will be tough. The reason being is coaches create independence for you by emphasizing what you can do and have done well, whereas a typical therapy session will hover around how many failures or let downs occurred and how did you deal with them. If not monitored closely therapy can simply become something you must depend on and have or you will crack. It also can make for real strong job security for the provider. I am in no way saying that this is always the case, I am simply pointing out the facts.
Let me give you another example that may be easier to illustrate. AA & NA have been absolutely famous and known to be the savior for millions who swear they cant make it without it. There is good reason for that. Part of the mantra you must repeat and repeat and repeat until its drilled in your head is that you are powerless over your addiction. Sounds like pure healthy honesty right? We need to face the truth, right? The problem here folks is that most AA & NA programs have a tough time breaking into double digits as far as success in remaining sober for 12 months. Hmm. Sounds like AA & NA need the addicts more than the addicts need it.
Now I can already here people yelling at me reciting the serenity prayer and how the program has kept you clean for 5 years. If that is true, good for you and stick with it. The problem is we have this other 90% who fail and fail and fail. This group is just as important as the 10% who are doing well. right? The program or therapeutic modality cannot replace the addiction. Trading one addiction for another is , well not the goal.
Lets quickly review. Coaching is a process where someone trained in the area your needing comes along side of you and helps you identify your strengths, address any negative patterns that are interfering with your life and resets your thinking and goals to align with your abilities. This process in general is a much shorter and effective one that rarely disturbs your daily routine and acts more as a cheerleader to help you up and out of a rut then a tape recorder that plays your most hideous memories over and over until one week you think you have it beat- but then at your therapy session your forced to drag it back out of the dark corner of your head.
Coaching is not becoming dependent in any way on someone else. Therapy can lead to a total dependency on a person to survive, and even worse create a stigma that you are lesser of a person because you cannot live life normally or without the handicap of a label, diagnoses, or medication.
Am I saying that therapy is a waste and coaching is the only way to get help? Of course not. What I absolutely am saying is that one better be educated on their true need lest they become involved in a very dependent situation that may strip you of self esteem when that method is not needed. I have been a therapist. I have been a coach which is what I am more involved in then formal therapy. There will always be times when someone is in need of long term clinical therapy. What I have learned however is that everyone deserves the chance to be helped up and out of a rut through short term coaching before the much more restrictive clinical environment.
Besides the the stigma, the dependency, and the long term visits in the therapy model, you also need to understand that the difference financially between the two are radical and you are talking tens of thousands of dollars for any long term clinical therapy and that is besides medications. Why would you put yourself or anyone you love in that box before you give them a chance to be coached back to health? So far I have given you my personal and career experience, but in case your wondering, the established and very well run coaching programs that are in existence now are running circles around any treatment centers for addictions and over 20 other issues from domestic violence to PTSD. As a matter of fact many insurance companies wont even pay for therapy anymore. That is right, they pulled out and are happy to pour their efforts into legit coaching programs. Why would they, when the success rates on coaching is 75% and up and traditional treatment centers around 20%? Not to mention coaching is 1/3 the cost if not more to you and to insurers.
I want to close with a very important point. This article is designed to offer new options and hope to those who may not be familiar with coaching model. Any good therapist or doctor will tell you the truth about whether long term expensive therapy is needed or if coaching is what will work best for the client. I wont lie to you, just like any industry, not every provider is truthful and many will keep you or your child locked up and medicated as long as the payer will pay. Authorities are trying to crack down on those who use clients for personal gain but with tens of thousands of programs, it is very hard.
Take a few minutes and enjoy a laugh. The Old School Psychiatrists Were Just a little more upfront and honest with their patients then in today’s world- Would it not be nice if all Doctors were this up front! Today she would likely here ” Maam, you have OCD, your in denial, you are paranoid and I think these 3 prescriptions may help….We can all learn a thing or two from this Bob Newhart clip…
I have worked with and still do some of the finest clinical therapists around and they are excellent. Doctors as well and in no way am I saying nobody needs clinical therapy. What I am doing here is giving you all a little heads up about what is coming down the pipe. Coaching has proven itself, its cost effective, and is the latest and greatest alternative to what we had to live with. You will hear about it if you have not. All the Don’t Label My Kid! Team members are coaches and you can check out our areas of expertise on the home page menu. Read a quick bio of what we each do and reach out to us if you think you need help. We always work with people and have yet to turn anyone away.
This is a post I would not have written even two years ago. However the coaching success, and opportunities for those who have been coached to actually become working coaches after they find success makes this a win win for anyone and everyone. Don’t put it off anymore. No matter what the age, race, background, or need- believe me we have been there and done it. Just look at our bios and you will understand. If you are doing great, and your kids are doing great. but you have this friend from church, neighbor, or relative that is hurting- be the one to help them get help. You never know what people may be just one more step away from and the tragedy of ignoring it can do.
When my brother shot himself after we just watched some television together, I sure wish I would have asked him why he was so quiet for 2 hours. But, I did not. Instead he walked out the door and shot himself in the head. Don’t let that happen to anyone you know. Contact us immediately for prompt response.
Write these contacts down. Print this out. Share with a friend. Share with your followers. We cannot help unless you get in touch. At the bottom is a personal cell number that is available to call 24/7- 365. If you are in trouble now, or know who is , you may call it anytime.
Otherwise for a consult about a family plan, or individual need and 100% confidential, email one of these – leave a contact number in the subject if you wish to be called back
email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
Emergency Crisis Line- 386-675-7549
When I first became a father and my kids got to be toddlers there were a lot of mini – crisis type situations. You see as a new parent who was trying to be the best parent I could I began to ” anticipate ” their problems and began to comfort them for things they hadn’t even cried about yet.
many times looking back I think they must have wondered If I was I was in need of some comfort by my over reactions to their little bumps and bruises. You see most times that I jumped up and made a big thing of a little blood or a bump , my child raced over to me. I was more likely to go to them basically to alert them that they should be angry right now , perhaps some crying is in order…lol
I know it sounds crazy but I think we have all been there. Some just on ” first baby syndrome” ” but many act this way for the whole childhood.
Thankfully due to my career and education I was alerted that I was doing this all wrong. I also learned that the so-called ” concerned parent ” was not always an innocent party. Believe it or not there are parents that use their children as tools get sympathy and attention for themselves. The ones you see in Wal-Mart, dragging a kid by the wrist, screaming and yelling, and the mother or father is talking out loud at the child and neither of them are listening to each other. And nothing is getting accomplished.
Many times the adult chooses to keep it public rather than take it to the restroom , just to get that ” people are seeing me suffering ‘ rush. They are the ones who instead of whisking the child to a restroom or outdoors, just kind of smile and tilt their heads at other adults in the store, seemingly trying to make eye contact with someone who will feel sorry for them as the shrieks from the toddler reach glass breaking levels. That is more of a sickness like Munchausen syndrome, where mothers use their babies to draw attention to themselves by pretending they have many disorders and diseases that they do not.
For the purpose of this post I am speaking to non Munchausen moms or dads. People who just were not taught about how to stretch your child and make them as independent as possible.
Instead of meeting them at the point where they had clearly shown they were not capable of bouncing back on their own, I jumped in to the rescue and saved the day. I even noticed other parents who also had toddlers handling it differently , and kind of expecting their kids to sort through most of these tantrums or minor accidents without coddling.
How insensitive, I remembered thinking. He’s just a little rug rat, an ankle biter! What do you expect from him?
That question ” what do you expect from him ” actually became an anchor of sorts for me as I matured a bit. These parents were not neglecting their children . They were setting boundaries. They were teaching them how to be as independent as possible for their ages. They understood that the more coddling and intervention now, the more likely that you just bought a one way coddling ticket all the way through childhood and even into adulthood.
So I will give you one example that I think is universal and was critical in me figuring out how to respond. It is what I call the ” how should I act now ” stare. Now pay close attention because this is a very short window of time. This stare is when a child falls and bumps their head, or another child says something mean or steals their toy ..something along those lines…
It goes down pretty quick so you must be on guard. It is the 15-30 seconds or so RIGHT AFTER the fall, the comment, or the toy is taken. It’s a very temporary pause in your toddlers thought process where they are considering just how they should feel about what just happened. It consists of a slow head turn to locate you then a direct scan if you right to the bulls-eye, your eyes..it will be your eyes that determine how they respond. Your lips are next. How you look and what you say in 99% of cases will totally dictate your child’s response to the little crisis.
If you are guilty of being a wide-eyed loud mouthed run to your child parent you need you reset and fast. Or your child will be so dependent on other people at each little problem they have that they won’t have much chance of succeeding in anything they do..
If you know the child is not poisoned or at risk of losing a limb, you need to play it as down as much possible and respond as if they had asked for some kool-aide. My rule of thumb was to always do one unrelated task before going to their side to investigate. Such as say to your child “do you all need some help over there?” Alright honey let me finish this page in my book and I’ll come check it out.” Or if they run to you and you know it’s not extremely painful or life threatening, you tell them to sit down next to you until you finished.
One way to tell if you’re at the point of no return in this scenario is if you get what I call the ” open but silent mouth ” treatment …this is where they have you locked in on the eyeballs but maybe they are facing another direction but turned to look at you needing guidance on whether to let out a huge shriek, or just return to playing because your eyes say its OK.
Now if you are one of those moms who runs and shrieks and screams every time any little thing happens and you’ve already trained them to do the same. All hope is not lost…
But it does require a specialized behavioral plan for in home to reroute those behaviors and retrain your child’s brain and we do that here.
The important part to remember about this post is that to a great extent, you control how your child will respond to just about any circumstances . You train them how to respond by your actions and by how you model the reaction to the situation. If you find yourself in needing that dramatic flare and major league episode every time anything occurs with your toddler or child, it’s most likely that you are one looking for attention, not them.
There is no reason your child should not be able to bump their elbows and be bleeding from both arms and not calmly walk over to you and ask you to get a band-aid.
Everything depends on your reaction to the situation. Set your child up for success in this world. Long after your gone, nobody is going to jump in and be jrs. savior..
There is a time for everything, a season for all. We all choose when to insert which things into our lives and for how long. Sometimes, however if we are not careful we end up being dragged along in life by circumstances, people or things that we should have cut the cord on long ago. In recent weeks for some reason the issue of therapy has come up and several people have inquired of me my feelings about therapy. I enjoy it.
Actually this is not about me specifically, but about everyone. Can too much therapy be a bad thing? Of course it can. As a matter of fact it is difficult these days to find a good therapist . You know why? Simple , you are their livelihood. Rarely will you find a therapist who hurries to get a treatment plan established, address and meet outcomes as soon as possible. It is usually a laid back and long process of ” finding out whats underneath all that” followed by some testing or homework exercises and perhaps a referral for even more treatment.
So today in a very short and simple way, I want to remind you of what the role of therapy in your life should be. Generally speaking therapy is for a certain period of time to help you transition through a certain period in life you are struggling with. The particular area is not what is important, but your level of dependency on the therapist. If you have been on WordPress as long as I have you surely have run into posts about people who talk about how they have been in therapy 5 years now, and so on and so forth. Huh?
If you have been in therapy 5 years, unless for some very unusual circumstances – you will be needing a new therapist to get over the day when you leave you current therapist. Too much of a good thing can really hurt us sometimes. So what is the exact amount of time for therapy? According to my calculations 3 months 4 days and between 8-10 hours is perfect.
Alright, I really don’t have a specific number of months or days so hold those applause. The truth is, you need to view your therapist like a cheerleader , someone simply there to help you reset your priorities if need be or restore confidence that has been lost. Therapy can be helpful for those grieving to go through a set grieving process and not to get lost in your grief.
Therapy is excellent for addicts transitioning out of rehab, as a step-down back into society. The point is, you use therapy to assist you back into normalcy asap. You should never exist and show up each week to just discuss your week and how much you spent at the grocery this week or how your kids are driving you nuts. These are everyday life happenings, and if you require assistance to function in a day-to-day routine, therapy is not going to cut it for you.
There was a term used back in the gap called deinstitutionalization. The meaning in a nut shell was that the goal of any treatment but mental health in particular was to keep people out of their ordinary routines for as little time as possible, and by all means use the least restrictive measure possible. If someone did not need to be staying in an overnight facility for their own good, they go home like everyone else each night. The same applies in therapy. The least amount needed.
Don’t Label My Kid! as a team much prefers to coach rather than counsell if possible. Coaching is not quite as therapeutic as far as clinical tools go, but is many times a lot of times much more effective than traditional therapy. Why? A coach acts like a cheerleader for your cause, helping you identify your own strengths to support your own goals and gives you a hand up and in the right direction after a tailspin. Then with a nice ” shove off back in the right direction, you are sailing alone again, not dependent on another to make it thru every week.
If you really think about it, and I gave you a which would you pick if I gave you the choice; to lay on a couch each week so I , your therapist can remind you every week about your hideous past, failures and general loser of a life you have lived?
Or would you rather have me by your side for a short period to help you regain your footing and help you focus on the strengths you have and rely on me for just a few months? I know from my experience that people succeed sooner and longer with a coach that they did not become co-dependent on and with a person who has the goal to focus on what is right in life.
Now as I close, I need to remind you that there is a time and place for therapy. It is the first resource some need and coaching may be a step down later in time. However if you are finding yourself talking the same old face about the same old bully in 4th grade that makes you have anger, self-esteem, and rage issues today at 40, you need out. You are little more than a paycheck to the therapist an who is going to turn down your weekly donation for refreshing your brain about how miserable your life is?
Not too many.
I encourage you as a coach and therapist to consider the least restrictive option. Be as independent as possible. If you fall again, a good coach will always be there to help you back up of need be. Don’t forget we provide coaching in mental health, behavioral health, addictions, spiritual areas and disease / health excellence .
The team at Dont Label My Kid! has over 85 years combined experience professionally in these areas, and we also coach about things we personally have walked through, so we get you. We really understand. Not just from the text-book to get our degrees, but from feeling what you feel and fighting through it. Let us help.
Contact us today for immediate response email@example.com and if it is an emergency crisis situation you can reach me personally at 386-675-7549. If using email please don’t forget to leave your best contact info and the topic of your need in the subject! I hope we can continue to help you and especially those of you who are reading this right now thinking how badly you want and need help for something, but always put it off. We are on 24/7 -7 days per week. Contact us now and quit putting off the first day of the rest of your life.
*One last thing, if you are not already signed up, please sign up for our newsletter which we are working on to give the latest updates on any planned events like parenting webinars, addictions seminars and general updates from TJ Matt and Mike! Please go to the home page and look for the drop down to sign up real quickly so you do not miss out on any free services and all we are doing! Its 100% free just need your info. Thanks!
Remember, the rest of your life Is the best of your life!
“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
Well, here we are. We have discussed practically every issue in life on this blog in the last four years or so. We have laughed, debated, discussed, prayed and I think I even had a legitimate stalker . The very first mission of this and I hope any blog is to teach. To educate your readers on what it is your here for and especially the question ” what can you do for me”. Today I am going to do a part of my job that is not uncommon in my 20 years as a Social Worker. I am going to press you a little bit. Force you to quit sidestepping and avoiding your needs and issues.
Now don’t think of this as anything negative. Its just the natural progression of things. In my career I would have people make appointments come to the office for some need in the areas of mental health, behavioral health or addictions primarily. There are always exceptions but those were the most popular reasons they would make an appointment to see me.
Almost always on the very first visit I would introduce myself and ask them to tell me about why they were here. I cannot tell you how many stare-offs I had, lol. I would say ” you called me so tell me what I can help you with. ” I never figured out if it was people getting intimidated when they are in a setting they are not used to or what , but so many people forget or froze up. I would usually give them some examples of why people came to see me and gradually somewhere in the list I would here a ” yeah that” or something to help me know where to start probing or asking questions. We always got moving at some point. Some in just a few minutes and some it took a little longer.
On this blog Don’t Label My Kid! I decided to start the educating on my homepage with mental health. I allude to the other areas I am an expert in but that is where I decided to begin, because all our other problems somehow are related to mental health. I then proceeded over the next 3-4 years to make sure I wrote at least 100 articles related to each area I serve. I am not talking about specialty areas like parenting that I also assist and do workshops in, but the main primary areas; Mental, behavior and addictions.
Over 500 total articles on these areas. This is to find out where my reader’s needs are and to get feedback from you as well on any area . As you all well know I always mix in some humor, politics or other issues at random just to keep things from getting to dark and gloomy on here. (Some who pop in at the wrong time think this site is just a random topic site as my last 4 quick posts might have been about humor. lol) Even though I post about a wide variety of topics , they are topics related to life. We are all in that game together.
Now, in this time I have enjoyed a good amount of feedback, comments and gotten a ton from you all about your situations now, past of something you wonder about. I have read and still go over thousands of comments from you all. I have not read anything I have not helped someone with many times over ( except maybe the stalker) .
I have heard from the suicidal, the addicts, the parents who are ready to strangle their kids, the people of faith who ask me how I can still believe in God, then the burned out Christians. I have also gotten messages from people suffering with PTSD, abused wives, and people who have had experiences with sexual abuse. This has been especially popular since I have been writing about Father Gondek . People are much more likely to share if they are not alone. My point is, you are here for a reason. I can assure you God did not lead you here to get more depressed or addicted. He did not bring me here to write about your struggles so you can leave the house every day with fresh depression. We are here for a change. It’s what I call a divine appointment.
The stage we are at now, is called Execution.
Execution is where action takes place. It is where you quit playing around with your problem. You quit lust ” liking ” every post about your topic, you take the next step in your journey. It is the favorite part of work life, as I get to use my gifts and help people in general solve problems. How though? What do you do – even if you wanted to take the next step to help? Well, there are three possible answers.
You are getting your first assignment in moving forward with your issues. You should write this date down on your calendar as the day you ” executed “-
Before you can execute you have to select one of the following scenarios that best fits you
1- I have never reached out for help
2-I have reached out but no progress ( gave up )
3-You are currently trying things but have not got anywhere or don’t know if your counsel is right, or the money you would spend is worth it.
Now, I want you to select the one that describes you best. Usually one of those is it. If not no problem we can identify it. So make your selection. Great.
Now – as a consultant I take on three roles, depending on which of the above fits you.
If you are #-
#1-I am your ADVISOR– I will start by accessing your need, identify the best care plan and follow you through the process as needed.
#2-I am your INTERVENTIONIST-I help you resume your attempts by picking up the pieces of whatever you did gain or learn, and reconnecting , but with the appropriate services.
#3- I am your COACH- I act as support to what you think you may want to try, and am someone to stand along side of you as you navigate the process and coach you as is necessary to keep you on he right track.
Your 2nd assignment today is to figure out whether I am your Advisor,your interventionist, or your coach. So, which one?
Here is the moment of truth. You pick up the phone or email me to identify what you are in need of. I have broken it down so you can easily identify your needs from me.
(Although I am very good, I have yet learned to read minds of my followers.)
Touch base to get a Plan Of Care started now!
Cell- Txt- Call- 386-675-7549
*Now a few important things have when you contact me
1- if it involves a child, any and all IEP or special class information from school. Also any mental health official diagnoses or medications they are on or have ever been on. I don’t need copies but I need you to accurately tell me the report. If you are needing help for yourself I just need your past and current mental health diagnises
2- If you are an addict or have a loved one is and you need help – DO NOT GET ANY HELP UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME . PERIOD. Many organizations today get paid to fill beds- not make it a good fit for the client. Also if you walk into a rehab with no knowledge of the process and what you really need, you or your friend’s success rate is about 24%
Again- Any addicts reading or if you are trying to help one get help. CALL ME first. It is critical that you have an understanding of what rehab REALLY means. It’s not what you think.
Tj Petri BSW
Advisor, Interventionist, Coach
Don’t Label My Kid!
I am not stressed. I am feeling good. Petri at Don’t Label My Kid! wrote a post today on 3 easy ways for a worry free life – 2 minute read... Everyone knows he is the best wordsmith on WordPress!
I’m good. I am feeling much better..
Who am I kidding- I hear Kermit the frog now. And That Petri Is Nuts. Who Am I Kidding… Nurse! Nurse!
I am amazed when I walk through Wal-Mart and see a mother dragging a crying 4-5 year old by the arm yelling
“ SHUT UP! DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR LITTLE ASS WHIPPED WHEN WE GET HOME”
Wrong on so many levels. But to keep this short , I will point out just a few reasons why this approach never works.
1- You cannot command a child to do something that you are currently reminding them you yourself are incapable of- like being quiet.
2-Its highly unlikely that ANY child (that can hear) is going to think ” hmm, I think I will pull it together now that I know I have an ass whippin coming when we leave, I’m pumped!”
3-If you want your child to incorporate any skill into their daily routine, YOU must first model it, consistently. The ” do as I say not as I do” rule is obsolete.
There are at least 100 valuable social skills that must be taught to any of us in life. About 25 are needed to function successfully as an adult. For a child ages 5-18 it varies by age, but 3-4 for the young child and 15 for the teen are necessary to get through school and relationships without much turmoil.
There is no “ skill genie ” or ” skill angel ” that comes in the night and teaches your child the skills. So they must learn them from someone else….yep thats right. but, if you choose not to teach them – don’t sweat it, they can always pick up little Johnny’s skill set at school, you know the one who always gets suspended and calls his 3rd grade teacher a slut.
If you want your home to run smoothly, there must be consistency and clear explanation of what is expected. I will take the top two most important social skills ( in my opinion ) that I have taught for 20 years, and break them down here so you can see how you should explain them to your child.
1- Following instructions
a- Look at the person
b- Say ok
c Check back when finished
2- Accepting No ( for an answer)
a- Look at the person
b- Say ok
As I mentioned, these are the top two out of the 100 I train on. You should have at least 15 skills you use to interact with your teen and 4-7 for young who cannot retain much more.
Remember, the trick is developing a motivation system in your home that is not some temporary fly by night bribe system just so you can get a quiet night and take a long bath. Every reward and consequence your child gets should be a decision your child has made because you have taken the time and effort to creat a system that needs no arguing or debating about. Its built into your family dynamic.
Lastly for this little sample, if you think your children don’t want boundaries set for them ( specific guidelines) you are wrong. Kids are desperate for boundries. As a matter of fact we adults are desperate for boundries. What would you feel like if you jumped on the freeway tomorrow to go to work, and there was a giant neon sign that said
” NEW RULES ” AS OF TODAY -THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMITS, NO RULES ON SAFE DRIVING OR ANY OTHER GUIDELINES AND NO MORE EMERGENCY RESPONSE TEAMS”
How safe would you feel knowing that anyone could pull a NASCAR on you and draft you at 125 MPH- or trade some paint with you sending you and your vehicle rolling down the hill on the side of the road.
So of we grown ups need some guidlines, ow much more do our children need them.
( I am an award winning behavior specialist who has built hundreds of behavior programs to implement in homes of small familes who just want one system to implement so they can quit constant arguing all the time. I also have been hired to put behavorial sysytems in place in large companies to make their own staff get along better)
I was even hired to train all the doctors and staff of a hospital psyhiatric unit how to get along , proving that no matter who you are or how old you are there has to be consistency.
As a foster parent, I created and implented daily systems for very abused and defiant teens and was successful in all. About 50 teens.
If you are tired of unpredictable behavior and response in your family, I would love to help build a system to fit your needs. Once in place you simply maintain it and I will always be available to help with any break downs in the system. Or you can keep living like you are…
(Yeah, I Agree )- so my email is —-firstname.lastname@example.org me today to set up a personalized- DLMK! Care Plan for your family.
We all have times in our lives when things just seem to be going in a downward spiral. Not the kind of down that keeps you wanting to stay in bed all day and cry, but the type that takes the spring out of your step- and makes it just a little bit harder to smile when you tuck your kids in bed at night. The sun still shines but not quite as bright.
Its also the time when your friends and favorite television motivation guru will prompt you to push yourself harder not to allow these ” little ‘ setbacks to bring you down. Stay strong and all that jazz. Right. Usually that advice backfires because although the intentions may have been good, you end up feeling like ..well..like ..see below..
Depression and all types of mental illness is something that I have helped people through at every level. The good news is that this type of depression is known in the mental health field as ” situational depression “- it always passes. Nobody is immune. Loved ones pass away, divorces happen, jobs are lost and sometimes it all seems to happen at once. Take heart – the best way to deal with this is to simply be prepared for it.
I live in a state where we get hurricanes each year. Those of us who have been all of our lives think nothing of it. We know what to do and honestly its when a ton of hurricane parties take place! Houses all boarded up and no electric but its a time for friends and neighbors to hang..
Now take a newbie to Florida- who has not been pre-taught about 100 mph winds -or palm trees and 7-11 dumpsters being launched down roads, well that is a whole different deal. You get the point. Preparation is half the battle.
Now lets bump it up a notch. The symptoms are more severe, and longer lasting. This is literally where whoever you work through it with can dictate how you live and approach the rest of your life. It takes a person who can assess your root issues and direct you and help you into the appropriate treatment plan. Here is where our system falls apart. You can see 10 different therapists, social workers, doctors and get 10 answers.
I have always used a tool called a psychosocial assessment to start the process of identifying the most serious issues and how to get the right help from the right person.
When you hear terms major depression, bi-polar, mood disorder, and the like you could easily be diagnosed with ANY of those if you present with the same symptoms to 5 different clinicians. No big deal you say? Oh yes – yes it is. The guy who labels you with mood disorder may not even recommend meds. However if you are unlucky and catch the wrong guy and he decides you have bi-polar 2- Whoa Nellie- now you are into Lithium, and other heavy meds as well as a heavy label..
Just like with the parenting tips, there is no 1 way fits all. You must meet someone who wants you on the LEAST amount of meds ( if any) and the LEAST heavy duty label. ( I know a guy who is excellent btw)
If you or someone you know is struggling and not bouncing back from a few weeks of mild blues, its time to take a closer look.
Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – I can help .
Its Friday- Time For- ‘Mike’s Corner’
Did you know that lower back pain (which is a worldwide complaint) most times is pain referred from another part of the body and has nothing to do with the back? Usually it is a result of the Occipital bone being out. Since the Occipital bone is a part of the brain, chiropractor cannot usually adjust it. However there are 2 herbs that each have a frequency which will cause it to go back in very quickly.
Contact Mike for your personalized evaluation-
This is what I’ve been preaching all along since day one but it’s sure nice to have somebody like Mike Carey share something like this with us.
Most medical studies deemed bogus! Even Dangerous!
Courtesy of big Pharmaceutical. Even if you don’t want to hear this you really should read it- it’s a life-or-death issue.
Did you know that there are only two eye colors blue and brown. Colors of green and gray or hazel are all shades affected by the toxins build up in your body. As a matter of fact with a good cleansing the colors will be restored to blue!
Anyone who has suffered from what they call acid reflux really has what’s called a hiatal hernia. This can be cured permanently with a simple adjustment.
For personalized health consultation with your particular health issue contact Mike at email@example.com
Visit his website –
Did you know that there are only two colors of the eyes. Yes- brown and blue. The colors green, yellow and others are shades of the original color, caused by toxins built up in our systems.(The real color is blue! You can tell the health of a person through the eyes.)
With a good cleansing -the green, grey or yellow eyes can actually be restored to blue!
For personalized care and consultation you can reach me by cell @ 208-968-5797
P.S- If you have not become a subscriber to the founders club where you can access me and my services free 24/7 please do so ASAP my days are limited!
People are always talking about how addicts don’t seem to ” want ” get better or that they don’t try hard enough . We now recognize addiction as a disease and that’s progress.
However- the blame for the miserable 25% -40% (at best) success that some claim they have, goes right back to the providers. In this country is least when we go to an auto repair shop we expect them to know how to repair the auto, or we don’t keep taking it there. If we go to a lawn mower shop we want them to know how to repair our brand of lawn mower and wouldn’t accept anything less. Things in the area of human care and condition are quite different . There is no accountability for starters.
As you see in this LinkedIn document posted here, my featured image, one addictions “specialist” asks a question of other ” specialists” ..on how to handle a client.. that in itself is not typical or shouldn’t be but what really should be astonishing to all is the response..
The result is not one or two opinions but more than 80!
How comfortable would you feel if that patient was you or one of your loved ones that you we’re going to get effective care? That is unbelievable. How could we ever treat anybody effectively if we can’t even agree on how to treat addictions in general?
This is one of the reasons that Don’t Label My Kid! is advocating and implementing our own treatment models and services so that we can make sure treatment is actually successful and appropriate..
Another mind-blowing statistic is the failure rate of AA and NA organization, how it came to be and what a prosperous organization it is financially. In this link you can read of all about it.
What hope does the addict really have- knowing what we do?
We are striving to be that hope!