By now everyone has heard of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Although a long time back it was a term reserved for the diagnosis of very severe patients who had been exposed to some extraordinary events. These days 6 years old get the diagnosis when a spanking they got has been labeled abuse and therefore they suffer from PTSD.
Today I watched a movie with Samuel Jackson and a few others that were all in combat together in Iraq. Unlike the war movies I have seen, this was one of the best mental health sides of the truth that I ever have seen. In this flick, it does not end when the 4 who were from the same area leave for home. It does not end until you see how each one chooses to handle their PTSD here at home, in the real world. If you are a coach or counselor of any type you need to watch this movie.
I think it will change even the most seasoned therapists, as this movie is so absolutely transparent in each of the people’s lives it brings life in you a whole new meaning to what PTSD is really all about.
Home Of The Brave
If have any trouble getting on through the first link, I have posted a second to Tubitv ( 100% free to watch it there)
Sometimes I like to incorporate humor into my posts to keep the site from just being about depression and addiction and PTSD etc… I just cannot be all too funny with this. This is a topic that is DEADLY. I remember, because my brothers suicide wont seem to get out of my mind some days. So I am going to ask everyone to stop and read this, and you know what it may not even apply to you. But it could prevent what happened with my family. I cannot undo the gunshot that ended my brothers life. But I can share my 20 years of experience in mental health and addictions, from a personal, and then a professional standpoint. I sure hope you will send this to anyone that seems like they may be one step away from tragedy. If it is you. I tell you what to do at the end. Anyhow, I hope you take this to heart. Anyone who follows me knows how much I love you all and just want to keep getting the word out that you cannot delay treatment for mental health without terrible consequences. But let me say this, there is some really good news on here about the success we are having worldwide in a new area to help….tj
Is Therapy Going To Drive Me To Suicide?
Most people in and around the mental health field as a client or provider are familiar with these two terms. The question is, what is the difference? Its a valid question that deserves an honest answer.
So your deciding how to address the situation your going through and the options. Whether it be a depression issue, a divorce issue or any other circumstance that has proved itself to be interfering in your routine to the point that you need at least some action. Lets face it, there are thousands of different providers who all claim to offer up the most successful, healing, lasting and least restrictive and intrusive on your life.
Where do you start? A friend’s recommendation? An ad that catches your eye or ear? The most well known methods? Its a tough call for anyone. It does not have to be. You see just as we have progressed in other industries like automobiles, and appliances and homes, the same applies when it is time for mental health choices. We don’t screw bolts into the sides of peoples heads anymore to see the effect. We don’t torture people hoping to alter behavior or feelings. Things have improved. Much progress has been made in these areas and you will do yourself a disservice by not following up on what is working and what is not.
Just because you are struggling with an issue in your life does not paralyze your ability to educate yourself. Of course you must be strong enough to make your own decisions and choices on treatment unless you are in need of inpatient care. This post is about outpatient care. If you follow along you just may see clearly some things that have been unclear until now. I have had extensive experience in both coaching and therapy, both as a client, and eventually as a professional for 20 years. To try and break down all the theories of personality and modalities of treatment would take an entire book. In my opinion it is not necessary.
Everyone has their opinion about what works best and many of the ideas have validity and can indeed help. However do you want to get 45% help when another method would bump that up to 85%? Of course not. Let me add that I have no dog in the hunt. Our team together has decades of experience in just about every major modality used in outpatient therapy. If you want to come lay on a couch each week while we remind each other how miserable your life has been, someone will take your money. But what about outcomes? After all the whole point of therapy is to get better and move on with your life, right?
What if medication is recommended? We all know that game right? Try this for 6 weeks, if it does not make you feel good we will change to the next, and the next and so on. You may be caught up in a weekly sit down regurgitating old dark memories for a year before any medications start working. That is , if they ever work, since even major drug makers have admitted that 5 or 6 of their latest anti-depressants actually cause suicidal thoughts.
OOPS! Yeah, it does happen and it is not uncommon.
But even so, therapy is just so much more ” professional ” sounding. It must be the best if its been around so long. I mean this coaching thing is fairly new. Why take chances on that when you can enjoy the benefits listed above of a therapeutic model?
Maybe because coaching works.
Lets take a closer look at this whole coaching model. The coaching models at least that I am familiar with takes the therapy model and turns it on its head. It rejects everything traditional long term therapy stands for.
Coaching focuses on what is right in your life. What you can do well. What strengths we have. A return to normalcy as soon as possible in the least restrictive environment is key. On the other hand have we all not at one time or another seen a post or article that begins with ” I have been seeing my therapist now for 5 years ” or ‘ My therapist says he thinks I need a higher dose of medication”. If you have not, you need not leave WordPress because they are everywhere.
Try finding one that says they have had their coach for more than a few months. It will be tough. The reason being is coaches create independence for you by emphasizing what you can do and have done well, whereas a typical therapy session will hover around how many failures or let downs occurred and how did you deal with them. If not monitored closely therapy can simply become something you must depend on and have or you will crack. It also can make for real strong job security for the provider. I am in no way saying that this is always the case, I am simply pointing out the facts.
Let me give you another example that may be easier to illustrate. AA & NA have been absolutely famous and known to be the savior for millions who swear they cant make it without it. There is good reason for that. Part of the mantra you must repeat and repeat and repeat until its drilled in your head is that you are powerless over your addiction. Sounds like pure healthy honesty right? We need to face the truth, right? The problem here folks is that most AA & NA programs have a tough time breaking into double digits as far as success in remaining sober for 12 months. Hmm. Sounds like AA & NA need the addicts more than the addicts need it.
Now I can already here people yelling at me reciting the serenity prayer and how the program has kept you clean for 5 years. If that is true, good for you and stick with it. The problem is we have this other 90% who fail and fail and fail. This group is just as important as the 10% who are doing well. right? The program or therapeutic modality cannot replace the addiction. Trading one addiction for another is , well not the goal.
Lets quickly review. Coaching is a process where someone trained in the area your needing comes along side of you and helps you identify your strengths, address any negative patterns that are interfering with your life and resets your thinking and goals to align with your abilities. This process in general is a much shorter and effective one that rarely disturbs your daily routine and acts more as a cheerleader to help you up and out of a rut then a tape recorder that plays your most hideous memories over and over until one week you think you have it beat- but then at your therapy session your forced to drag it back out of the dark corner of your head.
Coaching is not becoming dependent in any way on someone else. Therapy can lead to a total dependency on a person to survive, and even worse create a stigma that you are lesser of a person because you cannot live life normally or without the handicap of a label, diagnoses, or medication.
Am I saying that therapy is a waste and coaching is the only way to get help? Of course not. What I absolutely am saying is that one better be educated on their true need lest they become involved in a very dependent situation that may strip you of self esteem when that method is not needed. I have been a therapist. I have been a coach which is what I am more involved in then formal therapy. There will always be times when someone is in need of long term clinical therapy. What I have learned however is that everyone deserves the chance to be helped up and out of a rut through short term coaching before the much more restrictive clinical environment.
Besides the the stigma, the dependency, and the long term visits in the therapy model, you also need to understand that the difference financially between the two are radical and you are talking tens of thousands of dollars for any long term clinical therapy and that is besides medications. Why would you put yourself or anyone you love in that box before you give them a chance to be coached back to health? So far I have given you my personal and career experience, but in case your wondering, the established and very well run coaching programs that are in existence now are running circles around any treatment centers for addictions and over 20 other issues from domestic violence to PTSD. As a matter of fact many insurance companies wont even pay for therapy anymore. That is right, they pulled out and are happy to pour their efforts into legit coaching programs. Why would they, when the success rates on coaching is 75% and up and traditional treatment centers around 20%? Not to mention coaching is 1/3 the cost if not more to you and to insurers.
I want to close with a very important point. This article is designed to offer new options and hope to those who may not be familiar with coaching model. Any good therapist or doctor will tell you the truth about whether long term expensive therapy is needed or if coaching is what will work best for the client. I wont lie to you, just like any industry, not every provider is truthful and many will keep you or your child locked up and medicated as long as the payer will pay. Authorities are trying to crack down on those who use clients for personal gain but with tens of thousands of programs, it is very hard.
Take a few minutes and enjoy a laugh. The Old School Psychiatrists Were Just a little more upfront and honest with their patients then in today’s world- Would it not be nice if all Doctors were this up front! Today she would likely here ” Maam, you have OCD, your in denial, you are paranoid and I think these 3 prescriptions may help….We can all learn a thing or two from this Bob Newhart clip…
I have worked with and still do some of the finest clinical therapists around and they are excellent. Doctors as well and in no way am I saying nobody needs clinical therapy. What I am doing here is giving you all a little heads up about what is coming down the pipe. Coaching has proven itself, its cost effective, and is the latest and greatest alternative to what we had to live with. You will hear about it if you have not. All the Don’t Label My Kid! Team members are coaches and you can check out our areas of expertise on the home page menu. Read a quick bio of what we each do and reach out to us if you think you need help. We always work with people and have yet to turn anyone away.
This is a post I would not have written even two years ago. However the coaching success, and opportunities for those who have been coached to actually become working coaches after they find success makes this a win win for anyone and everyone. Don’t put it off anymore. No matter what the age, race, background, or need- believe me we have been there and done it. Just look at our bios and you will understand. If you are doing great, and your kids are doing great. but you have this friend from church, neighbor, or relative that is hurting- be the one to help them get help. You never know what people may be just one more step away from and the tragedy of ignoring it can do.
When my brother shot himself after we just watched some television together, I sure wish I would have asked him why he was so quiet for 2 hours. But, I did not. Instead he walked out the door and shot himself in the head. Don’t let that happen to anyone you know. Contact us immediately for prompt response.
Write these contacts down. Print this out. Share with a friend. Share with your followers. We cannot help unless you get in touch. At the bottom is a personal cell number that is available to call 24/7- 365. If you are in trouble now, or know who is , you may call it anytime.
Otherwise for a consult about a family plan, or individual need and 100% confidential, email one of these – leave a contact number in the subject if you wish to be called back
firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
As predicted, we continue to be blessed with people who fit right into our mission and who have very special gifts and talents to offer. To round out the Don’t Label My Kid! team, we are very proud to call Jenny our 4th team member. Jenny has already accomplished much for the good of people struggling with addictions, and we expect even greater things as we work together to provide the very best options for people needing assistance, Please check out her site ( link at bottom page) and get familiar with publication!
Jenny Clark has worked in the Health Care Industry for over 11 years, specifically Chemical Dependency for over 6 years. Her experience includes Peer Counselor, Intake Coordinator, Admissions and Marketing at several different health departments and treatment centers over the last 11 years. She has assisted in the development of a new treatment center on the treasure coast establishing the protocol for their admissions and business departments.
Her love for people and serving those in need has resulted in the development of All 4 UrAddiction Referral Recovery Guide. This magazine/resource guide prints 10,000 copies quarterly to bring awareness and resources available to those who are suffering from addictions, mental health issues and trauma and their families who are affected by this disease. You will find services such a treatment facilities, in and out patient treatment centers, detoxes, sober living facilities, nutritionists, financial advisors, life coaches, educational resources, support groups and monthly sober activities, as well as legal representatives, therapists, helplines and much more. We will be sharing more about this as we go forward and hope to squeeze an article or two out of her too!
You really have quite the nerve blabbing about family relationships and parenting …just a week ago my wife saw you at a Wal-Mart with a toddler and a teenager. You had a Don’t Label My Kid! Golf shirt with the initials TJ right in front. She said you were spanking the little one and after that you yelled at your teen to “getalife” or something like that. What kind of social worker and hypocrite are you ?
Dear Mr. Parker,
Thank you for writing . First let me remind you that I am not perfect, rarely but sometimes I have a bad day.-moron.
Occasionally even I get upset ..so why dont you tell your wife to quit stalking me and tell her to get a job. Ok Scumbag? Next – it was Target. Finally , it was NOT my kid. The little brat was walking circles around my ankles in the isle and almost made me trip. Bet you feel stupid now.
She’s just lucky I did not take her to find her parents or it would have been ugly. I had self control and left her right there by the doors so her parents might spot her walking out.
Oh by the way, tell the old hag I was off the clock anyway. I can’t ALWAYS be TJ @Dont Label My Kid!
God bless you .
Yo -TJ. Man We dig your blog , but you need to tone it down about you , you, and more you. Why don’t you write about someone else one time. Someone who is famous, beautiful, popular, yet humble. We’ve enclosed some photos of us in case your looking for ideas.
Kanye ( compare me to Jesus) West
Beyonce ( better stand up if I enter a room) Knowles.
Arnold ( Trump is jealous of me) Schwarzenegger.
The staff at CNN
Dear folks, maybe I write about myself because I’m low in self -esteem, OK? I only have one true fan and I think she may not alwsys be telling me the truth..
We have noticed your recent attempts to force your religious beliefs on us by weaving it in and out of posts. Don’t you think it is a very personal and private issue? You may incite violence otherwise. How can we be sure our kids are safe in school if you are trying to overtake peoples minds? In my homeland, you get a Columbian necktie and both lips sliced off for doing so. Please keep in mind we need you peaceful. We are a peaceful people. Don’t make us come after your family.
Here is the Home Page for Don’t Label My Kid! If you are not a follower you can start following by clicking the follow button on this page. Also please sign up for the newsletter we started on this page! This page will give you a decent overview of what the site is about..
There is a time for everything, a season for all. We all choose when to insert which things into our lives and for how long. Sometimes, however if we are not careful we end up being dragged along in life by circumstances, people or things that we should have cut the cord on long ago. In recent weeks for some reason the issue of therapy has come up and several people have inquired of me my feelings about therapy. I enjoy it.
Actually this is not about me specifically, but about everyone. Can too much therapy be a bad thing? Of course it can. As a matter of fact it is difficult these days to find a good therapist . You know why? Simple , you are their livelihood. Rarely will you find a therapist who hurries to get a treatment plan established, address and meet outcomes as soon as possible. It is usually a laid back and long process of ” finding out whats underneath all that” followed by some testing or homework exercises and perhaps a referral for even more treatment.
So today in a very short and simple way, I want to remind you of what the role of therapy in your life should be. Generally speaking therapy is for a certain period of time to help you transition through a certain period in life you are struggling with. The particular area is not what is important, but your level of dependency on the therapist. If you have been on WordPress as long as I have you surely have run into posts about people who talk about how they have been in therapy 5 years now, and so on and so forth. Huh?
If you have been in therapy 5 years, unless for some very unusual circumstances – you will be needing a new therapist to get over the day when you leave you current therapist. Too much of a good thing can really hurt us sometimes. So what is the exact amount of time for therapy? According to my calculations 3 months 4 days and between 8-10 hours is perfect.
Alright, I really don’t have a specific number of months or days so hold those applause. The truth is, you need to view your therapist like a cheerleader , someone simply there to help you reset your priorities if need be or restore confidence that has been lost. Therapy can be helpful for those grieving to go through a set grieving process and not to get lost in your grief.
Therapy is excellent for addicts transitioning out of rehab, as a step-down back into society. The point is, you use therapy to assist you back into normalcy asap. You should never exist and show up each week to just discuss your week and how much you spent at the grocery this week or how your kids are driving you nuts. These are everyday life happenings, and if you require assistance to function in a day-to-day routine, therapy is not going to cut it for you.
There was a term used back in the gap called deinstitutionalization. The meaning in a nut shell was that the goal of any treatment but mental health in particular was to keep people out of their ordinary routines for as little time as possible, and by all means use the least restrictive measure possible. If someone did not need to be staying in an overnight facility for their own good, they go home like everyone else each night. The same applies in therapy. The least amount needed.
Don’t Label My Kid! as a team much prefers to coach rather than counsell if possible. Coaching is not quite as therapeutic as far as clinical tools go, but is many times a lot of times much more effective than traditional therapy. Why? A coach acts like a cheerleader for your cause, helping you identify your own strengths to support your own goals and gives you a hand up and in the right direction after a tailspin. Then with a nice ” shove off back in the right direction, you are sailing alone again, not dependent on another to make it thru every week.
If you really think about it, and I gave you a which would you pick if I gave you the choice; to lay on a couch each week so I , your therapist can remind you every week about your hideous past, failures and general loser of a life you have lived?
Or would you rather have me by your side for a short period to help you regain your footing and help you focus on the strengths you have and rely on me for just a few months? I know from my experience that people succeed sooner and longer with a coach that they did not become co-dependent on and with a person who has the goal to focus on what is right in life.
Now as I close, I need to remind you that there is a time and place for therapy. It is the first resource some need and coaching may be a step down later in time. However if you are finding yourself talking the same old face about the same old bully in 4th grade that makes you have anger, self-esteem, and rage issues today at 40, you need out. You are little more than a paycheck to the therapist an who is going to turn down your weekly donation for refreshing your brain about how miserable your life is?
Not too many.
I encourage you as a coach and therapist to consider the least restrictive option. Be as independent as possible. If you fall again, a good coach will always be there to help you back up of need be. Don’t forget we provide coaching in mental health, behavioral health, addictions, spiritual areas and disease / health excellence .
The team at Dont Label My Kid! has over 85 years combined experience professionally in these areas, and we also coach about things we personally have walked through, so we get you. We really understand. Not just from the text-book to get our degrees, but from feeling what you feel and fighting through it. Let us help.
Contact us today for immediate response firstname.lastname@example.org and if it is an emergency crisis situation you can reach me personally at 386-675-7549. If using email please don’t forget to leave your best contact info and the topic of your need in the subject! I hope we can continue to help you and especially those of you who are reading this right now thinking how badly you want and need help for something, but always put it off. We are on 24/7 -7 days per week. Contact us now and quit putting off the first day of the rest of your life.
*One last thing, if you are not already signed up, please sign up for our newsletter which we are working on to give the latest updates on any planned events like parenting webinars, addictions seminars and general updates from TJ Matt and Mike! Please go to the home page and look for the drop down to sign up real quickly so you do not miss out on any free services and all we are doing! Its 100% free just need your info. Thanks!
Remember, the rest of your life Is the best of your life!
We read each others posts, look at pictures , but very few of us actually know each other. It would be hard to say that you like someone based on their writing, since that is not who they are…
But, and I realize this may be off of the beaten path a tad, but what if you were a blog!
Imagine you were a blog for a moment and you had to pick out a ” blog crush” – but unlike other crushes- you get to pick 3 blog crushes.
Who would be 3 of your top blog crushes?
For me , I like a blog with a good heart, one that keeps themselves up, has their priorities in order and appearances never hurt. Also some sort of clear purpose or mission.
I am for sure not just lookin for some eye candy alone either… there is more too an attractive blog than outward looks..and no easy blogs..you know the type, two likes and a comment and their yours. Hussies.
Spiritual blog is hard is also a draw for me .
Oh and by the way there are no LGBT or gay blogs so any blog crushes are purely platonic and without any reference to sexuality.
My top 3 (although many come to mind ) are
1- mewhoami- keeping perspective
2-gottafindahome- incredible mission for homeless
3-hunt4truth- objectively and persuasively speaking about topics that are important.
Now remember we are not having crushes on people, since we don’t know one another . Strictly blog crushes…
Lastly , why do you think you selected the ones you do. In the end , they are likely blogs most like you yourself., blog!
“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
Well, here we are. We have discussed practically every issue in life on this blog in the last four years or so. We have laughed, debated, discussed, prayed and I think I even had a legitimate stalker . The very first mission of this and I hope any blog is to teach. To educate your readers on what it is your here for and especially the question ” what can you do for me”. Today I am going to do a part of my job that is not uncommon in my 20 years as a Social Worker. I am going to press you a little bit. Force you to quit sidestepping and avoiding your needs and issues.
Now don’t think of this as anything negative. Its just the natural progression of things. In my career I would have people make appointments come to the office for some need in the areas of mental health, behavioral health or addictions primarily. There are always exceptions but those were the most popular reasons they would make an appointment to see me.
Almost always on the very first visit I would introduce myself and ask them to tell me about why they were here. I cannot tell you how many stare-offs I had, lol. I would say ” you called me so tell me what I can help you with. ” I never figured out if it was people getting intimidated when they are in a setting they are not used to or what , but so many people forget or froze up. I would usually give them some examples of why people came to see me and gradually somewhere in the list I would here a ” yeah that” or something to help me know where to start probing or asking questions. We always got moving at some point. Some in just a few minutes and some it took a little longer.
On this blog Don’t Label My Kid! I decided to start the educating on my homepage with mental health. I allude to the other areas I am an expert in but that is where I decided to begin, because all our other problems somehow are related to mental health. I then proceeded over the next 3-4 years to make sure I wrote at least 100 articles related to each area I serve. I am not talking about specialty areas like parenting that I also assist and do workshops in, but the main primary areas; Mental, behavior and addictions.
Over 500 total articles on these areas. This is to find out where my reader’s needs are and to get feedback from you as well on any area . As you all well know I always mix in some humor, politics or other issues at random just to keep things from getting to dark and gloomy on here. (Some who pop in at the wrong time think this site is just a random topic site as my last 4 quick posts might have been about humor. lol) Even though I post about a wide variety of topics , they are topics related to life. We are all in that game together.
Now, in this time I have enjoyed a good amount of feedback, comments and gotten a ton from you all about your situations now, past of something you wonder about. I have read and still go over thousands of comments from you all. I have not read anything I have not helped someone with many times over ( except maybe the stalker) .
I have heard from the suicidal, the addicts, the parents who are ready to strangle their kids, the people of faith who ask me how I can still believe in God, then the burned out Christians. I have also gotten messages from people suffering with PTSD, abused wives, and people who have had experiences with sexual abuse. This has been especially popular since I have been writing about Father Gondek . People are much more likely to share if they are not alone. My point is, you are here for a reason. I can assure you God did not lead you here to get more depressed or addicted. He did not bring me here to write about your struggles so you can leave the house every day with fresh depression. We are here for a change. It’s what I call a divine appointment.
The stage we are at now, is called Execution.
Execution is where action takes place. It is where you quit playing around with your problem. You quit lust ” liking ” every post about your topic, you take the next step in your journey. It is the favorite part of work life, as I get to use my gifts and help people in general solve problems. How though? What do you do – even if you wanted to take the next step to help? Well, there are three possible answers.
You are getting your first assignment in moving forward with your issues. You should write this date down on your calendar as the day you ” executed “-
Before you can execute you have to select one of the following scenarios that best fits you
1- I have never reached out for help
2-I have reached out but no progress ( gave up )
3-You are currently trying things but have not got anywhere or don’t know if your counsel is right, or the money you would spend is worth it.
Now, I want you to select the one that describes you best. Usually one of those is it. If not no problem we can identify it. So make your selection. Great.
Now – as a consultant I take on three roles, depending on which of the above fits you.
If you are #-
#1-I am your ADVISOR– I will start by accessing your need, identify the best care plan and follow you through the process as needed.
#2-I am your INTERVENTIONIST-I help you resume your attempts by picking up the pieces of whatever you did gain or learn, and reconnecting , but with the appropriate services.
#3- I am your COACH- I act as support to what you think you may want to try, and am someone to stand along side of you as you navigate the process and coach you as is necessary to keep you on he right track.
Your 2nd assignment today is to figure out whether I am your Advisor,your interventionist, or your coach. So, which one?
Here is the moment of truth. You pick up the phone or email me to identify what you are in need of. I have broken it down so you can easily identify your needs from me.
(Although I am very good, I have yet learned to read minds of my followers.)
Touch base to get a Plan Of Care started now!
Cell- Txt- Call- 386-675-7549
*Now a few important things have when you contact me
1- if it involves a child, any and all IEP or special class information from school. Also any mental health official diagnoses or medications they are on or have ever been on. I don’t need copies but I need you to accurately tell me the report. If you are needing help for yourself I just need your past and current mental health diagnises
2- If you are an addict or have a loved one is and you need help – DO NOT GET ANY HELPUNTIL YOU TALK TO ME . PERIOD. Many organizations today get paid to fill beds- not make it a good fit for the client. Also if you walk into a rehab with no knowledge of the process and what you really need, you or your friend’s success rate is about 24%
Again- Any addicts reading or if you are trying to help one get help. CALL ME first. It is critical that you have an understanding of what rehab REALLY means. It’s not what you think.
Your Freedom In 60 seconds my brothers and sisters
I am literally shaking right now in awe and I am hoping to make it through this break without a complete breakdown of blood boiling excitement.
We have just gotten confirmation that our world and those who have been enslaved to the addictions in this world which has caused millions of lives to be ruined, are TOTALLY FREE of its reach anymore. Recent discoveries about telling your mom you have a problem and crafty moves like refusing to give up on HOPE- is all that is really involved.
Yes – you can believe It! Hundreds have confirmed by their ” likes” and this has now been verified.. after billions of dollars and studies, and decades spent trying to break this code- the mystery of addiction has been solved.
While scientists have been researching genetics and the like over the years in laboratories and researching socioeconomic backgrounds to try and find any link to freedom from addiction- it turns out by just a few easy steps it can be done. It has been right in front of us all this time. Its actually being reported in my ear piece from central command that pill bottles are falling from the sky as well as alcohol bottles, presumably tossed from bloggers in high story apartments and high rises who have received our breaking news already..
Those in treatment facilities that have been in bondage to this are rising up and walking away. http://wp.me/p7hi1Z-a12
As you may have noticed by now just by looking around your office, everyone is taken aback that this hundreds years old mystery had been solved and revealed right here on WordPress, and best of all, it will take 1 minute of your precious time to scan and conquer your lifelong addiction..
Elders and Statesman and well-known actresses are now actually stopping their activities to witness history being made here on WordPress…
To think , in one minute, you too will have the key that unlocks addiction. As it says in the manual here- you just don’t lose hope. You tell another you have a problem. It turns out that admitting you have a problem is actually the FIRST step! Who would have thunk? Ladies & Gentleman, may I present your key to freedom in a 1 minute read…click and be free..
**Note-this post was voted in the top 5 best reads of all posts on WordPress for this day June 16th 2017 – ( by the DLMK team)
I am using right now. Just so my junkie friends know I am keeping this legit.
Lately I have found myself writing a little more than usual. I just have felt much more at ease when I am entrenched and entranced in a post I am working on. It may sound odd but even when I am just breaking to do regular daily things that we all do like using the restroom, some chores, maybe a meal now and again , I feel that kind of urge to hurry and finish so I can get back to my blog.
It’s not healthy. I am a counselor, an adviser and consultant on mental health, behavioral health and addictions and have been for 20 years and pretty darn good at it I might add. I do not have issues with balance, and stress, or addictive patterns anymore. Or do I? I realized today ( which happens to be my birthday ) – Oh, thank you! Anyway I realized that I have to deal with this. So I stared at the laptop for a few hours today but refrained from posting. I abstained to prove that I have it, and it does not have me.
Who am I fooling. The only difference between me today and me 23 years ago, is I am using writing and reading others writing as my fix, my medicine to mask the pain or stress I have. Back in the gap, I would have just popped 4-5 mg of Zannys ( xanax) maybe an oxy 80mg and slammed a few shots to ease my pain.
It’s truly the same idea. Maybe I have achieved a certain level of maturity in that I wont reach for the pills and booze now, but my keyboard is taking the place of it.
I am writing about this for two reasons. First because as a recovered addict, I’d feel like a hypocrite if I did not share when I struggle and make others feel like they are weird because they have these type issues come up. Second, because the therapist needs therapy right now. I need help to break this open and get to the bottom of it. There is great revelation and healing that can come from expressing feelings, whether through the written word, the spoken word, or any other way one can get things out in the open.
I once worked for a psychiatrist who after just a short while entrusted me with completing all of her initial assessments. It’s a big deal because that means each new patient who came into her office did not meet with her, but me. I conducted what is called a psycho-social assessment which was a 10 page interview process that is designed to give the clinician doing the assessment enough information to make an official diagnoses from the same DSM-V that the doctors use. I would make my decision and then pass it to the doctor to review . After a short time she just signed whatever I gave her. It was a high compliment.
One day we got to talking about our lives and personal family histories and all. After sharing a few things that had happened, were happening and may happen she was speechless. She could not understand how I even made it as far as I did , much less be so good. She named me ” the wounded healer”. To this day I see myself as a wounded healer.
So back to my problem now, I am aware that I am self-medicating. I have written enough posts already to carry me on for a year or more. I have no reason to keep on this marathon blog session. However the minute I try to lay my head down at night I realize I do not care for this uncomfortable silence in my brain. So within a half hour I am usually back up from my attempt to rest. I reach for this , and so the story goes. I hate it. I hate it that for 3 days I have closed my eyes for about 45 minutes per day if that.
Now the hard part to figure out which stress factor in my life has me right now. There are plenty to go around. Then the therapist in me wants to get all clinical and fancy like I am back at the shop with a new patient. Then I think thoughts like this ” Well I am sure since it is my birthday, my subconscious memory is playing old tapes about things I left undone, or as we EXPERTS call it – ” unfinished business” in my life .
Then reality hits and in frustration I blurt out to my screen ” What a load of crap that is”.
Now I am still nowhere. Or am I ? Maybe by verbalizing this and sharing my true feelings. I might get some relief. Or maybe it wont get me relief and poor me has to suffer a week or two of this. Either way I need a remedy to this. So in my case in my situation today I have chosen to do something different. Anything that might throw me off of this pattern I am in.
I made a decision.
My decision is to review my perspective a bit. I needed to reflect on some good things and quit buying into all the lies the enemy of my soul wants me to by into. For example what would I have thought 4 years ago when I had 16 followers and could not find the motivation to even post because I knew only a few would see it and out of those few maybe one or two might like it. Boy now those were hard times, I tell you what, compared to that I am in heaven right now. I can literally write a post about anything I want and know that a whole bunch of people from dozens of countries will see it in minutes. What the heck am I complaining about? Too much opportunity? Wow, poor me.
So you see what once would have been a dream to me — to have an audience and an abundance of things to share about somehow has been renamed in my brain to be a big problem. The amazing twists that our minds can out on us.
Now as I finish up this post, I am left with a different perspective. Now I am thinking – wow, what a roll I have been on, but I have got to mix in a way to get some sleep. It’s not healthy to not sleep, but it is healthy and just fine to roll out post after post with good content. I plan to keep it up until it naturally slows down, but never believe the lie that doing what I love to do is somehow stressful. Lack of sleep is my issue. Not blogging.
When I started this post I had no idea how it would end. Now I see that I am just fine and have much less to be stressed about then I thought. The sleep deprivation is likely causing the twisted thinking. My blogging is fine. Right on track with my goals and the reason I started this thing to share my experiences with as many as is possible.
I encourage everyone to share things when in binds like mine. It matters not how you share but let another human in. It does two things.; Resets perspective & identifies any changes you can make today. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the ride!
Sadly the only time that providers will truly recognize and acknowledge that addiction is a disease is when they have no choice because payers quit paying for crappy results. It’s the only way overbilling can continue. Soon I hope the providers will be held accountable for more than what we’re getting. It’s about time..but at least it’s coming …nothing to write home about..
But when they acknowledge it as a disease it will justify the repeat billing and the constant relapses just like another disease -like diabetes or anything else. Better late then never ..
If you caught my brief bio posted the other day you may have seen that I was responsible write each IEP ( Individual Education Plan ) for all of the students in the schools I started. As a matter of fact, this blog title (in part) was named after the unbelievable flaws I saw while doing this. The school boards typically don’t offer parents the help that your child is entitled to if they have a documented disability.
I like to think of a child with a ” disability ” as a child with a ” different ability”
At an IEP meeting, a ” Staffing Specialist ” from the board is there to represent the board and throw in the hat what they are willing to offer as far as support. Exactly like the psychiatrist who tells you your son or daughter has some ” disorder ” usually you are at the mercy of their opinion or decision. That should never be the case. However how are you to know what is right and what isn’t?
Simple – email me and I will help you get the help, assistance and services your child deserves!
( when you email me, please do not go into the entire story, but just the type of situation it is, and your best contact number- I like to hear it straight from you so I can get the details I want and need to help!)
Mental Health. Looks like this pretty much , right? I took this picture 2 days ago. You know why? I assumed when I contacted the law to pick the body up they may want some documentation of when and where I found the guy. Not that its any big deal, I see these bums all day long here in Daytona. Heck You and me could have ended up like that if we didn’t make the right choices, right? Whatever. Who are we kidding. But for the grace of God, there goes me.
In this case I got to walk away feeling better then I initially thought. You see, when I realized he was stiff, and smelled bad I just instinctively went to see if he had any ID to give the law. I was quite shocked when he about jumped when my hand touched his jacket pocket. He was alive! Sort of. Mike, as I later learned was his name was so scared I came to hurt him that he was shaking, I sat down with him and told him it was all good and I help people like him. I am a social worker. I help all people. No matter the age, race, issues, addictions, etc.
I know you cant see all that well in this picture as far as his age and all, but after we had talked awhile he shared a little about his life. Take a guess as to his age? Just do it, ball park.
Mike is 51.
I was able to offer him some options that he never knew were there. I know because that is my gift. We all have gifts, and in my case I have the ability to identify what people need to make their situation the very best it can be. I have done it for my entire career as a clinical social worker. I have worked with teens, parents, mental health patients, addicted folks, poverty stricken, violent people, even the most seriously developmentally disabled people in the world, literally. I have been called on to improve the quality of life for those who are deaf, dumb, blind, and aggressive. Can you imagine? The people in that arena that I ran programs for were abused so badly as babies that even though many were born ” normal” they had some of the most evil parents and caregivers you could imagine. Tossed in dumpsters as babies left to die, left on the hot Florida beaches as infants simply because the mom or dad was too lazy to bring them to a fire station or another outlet who would gladly have taken them in.
I started a school for 60 felons, ages 11-18. Gang members, 12 year old kids running crack at 3am on school days for their own parents. I lived for 5 years with 45 teens who were sexually abused very severely. Every group of people I worked with I was so thankful to have a God given gift to see through the outside and meet the true need on the inside. Now, before anyone thinks I am bragging – it could not be further from the truth. I am so ” ungifted ” in some areas that men should be – lol- I remember a time when I had my young boys with me in my truck and I noticed my wipers were bad. I could not see through them. I stopped at the Auto Zone , ordered up 2 wipers in a manly voice…and spent the next 30 minutes in the parking lot trying to figure out how to put the blades on until my 7 year old son took pity on me. He installed them in 5.
If you have followed me long you will note that although I share my personal struggles, and trials, I have never laid out an ” I love me post” about my accomplishments in my gifts. One reason is because I realize it is a gift. I can help anyone, in any situation, no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel comfortable bragging about something that I was given. Oh, believe me – I can hang with the best of the braggers. I have the degrees, the awards and all that jazz. I could not even tell you where any of them are right now. I don’t care. I care about educating people and helping them save time, money and stress.
What I love most about what I do is I know every single job duty all those people and more have. But I don’t have to become each one. I sure can steer you to who will actually help you and who wants your money. I can tell you that in many cases I have not been able to get to the parent or family in time before they got taken for a ride to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and more. That’s the reason I am so determined to hold providers of mental health, addictions, behavioral health, and juvenile delinquents accountable for what they do. I know what they should be doing – but you don’t. I am not a psychiatrist, but if you have ever read my home page ” mental heath- its a crazy business” you know I do not mince words. Why? I know the truth.. Do want to know how many doctors or psychologists, psychiatrists have written me nasty letters over the 4 years I have been slamming them? ZERO.
I am sharing this for a reason. I am hanging my shingle again. For 4 years I have poured my heart out on here about my entire life. Its time to help you all get to where you need and want to be. And I am asking you to trust your family or personal needs into my care. I make the same promise I have kept my entire career. I will NEVER leave you broken. An I will certainly never leave you broke. I don’t discharge my families when they go through a rough patch financially. I love using my gift. You may have noticed I have never taken a dime for any thing here, I do not sell ads like some. This audience that you all are was hand picked. I have never connected to the internet, other then this WordPress sight.
Last check this blog has had visitors from 65 countries ( that I know of ) and followers from at least 25 that I know of. That’s not my doing. It is no accident. You all are here for a reason. I am here to help.
When Mike Carey came along and was willing to join with this mission, I was and still am ecstatic. Why? Because Mike and I share a similar passion. We both love to use our gifts to help others. We both will never leave anyone hanging until they are well. I am gong to show you a real life example of how God has already used Mike in my own family. Most of you know I have 2 grown boys, and 2 baby girls. Well, babies to me, they are 5 & 10.
This is my baby Shelbi..
My baby had 72 sticks with a needle that her doctor insisted on to test for allergies. For nothing. Next up he said – blood work! No. No way.. But what can I do? Better late then never – I called our resident gifted man in the healing of diseases. He said ” you took her where” ? ( made me feel even lower lol) – No more he said , get her on the phone with me tonight for a minute or two. I was thinking to myself- Hello!! What was I thinking? Tonight Shelbi said hello to Mr. Mike for about 2 minutes, and 10 minutes later he says ” oh she has some poisoning in her system and a viral infection. Go to your local health food store and get 2 items ( like 5 bucks each) and in 7 days it will be gone.
HUH?? What? Why did I forget the other people I have sent to him who had major diseases go away? Anyways no blood work and that’s Mikes gift.
If you need physical healing – take advantage of this gift right in front f you . If its healing in any other area, call on me. I work on a case by case basis, until the job is done. I want you all to take this email address down.
Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com – to help with Tj-
that is your direct line to me. I will be adding a toll free number as well but for now get me there. I will develop with you what I call a “Plan of Care ”
There is NO issue you can throw at me that I havent done a hundred times. Confidentially we will put it all in place and work it out financially It sure would make me feel good if you all would entrust your needs to Mike and I. I thank you in advance . .
With all we are trying to accomplish through this platform of Don’t Label My Kid! It would really make a big difference if you all would commit to utilizing the gifts that Mike and I have- for your own family. so that we can keep on helping others and continue trying to do what we do ..put pedophiles away -heal families -help addicts- bring families together and just grow spiritually , emotionally and physically.