The Christian Sex Problem

I can already hear the gasps. I have only announced the title and some people are getting uncomfortable. Why? Because Christians have a sex problem. Let me explain.

I grew up in Christian School. I remember most of my teachers stumbling across the word like it was completely sinful. Outside God’s design, it is sinful. Within God’s plan, it is beautiful. Why would God create sex if it was 100% perverted? The enemy perverted it, and mankind has perverted it. God never did. God does not blush on the throne of Heaven when someone says the word “sex”. He delights when a husband and wife engage in what He designed. A husband and wife can glorify God while doing so. If that were not the case, there would not be a whole book of the Bible which focuses on this subject within the marital relationship. If you’re wondering what that book is, it’s Song of Solomon (Song of Songs). I dare you to study it. Proverbs has some good coverage on the issue also.

You may be wondering what provoked me to post such a topic. It’s because too many teachers and preachers don’t have the guts to preach about it, then they wonder why there is a ton of sexual sin in their churches and in society. Preachers and parents have been way too bashful and have avoided the facts way too long. The less we talk about it openly and honestly, the more people are going to go out and experience it for themselves. Human nature is to rebel. If we teach what the Bible says in a nonjudgmental way, we just might be surprised at the results. We might actually see our youth want to save themselves for marriage. We might actually see people keeping sex within their own marriage. We might see less porn addiction. Furthermore, we might see less sexual abuse. The more we make it taboo, the more we silently encourage people to do the wrong thing.

Do you think there is a Christian sex problem? It isn’t because God doesn’t encourage sex in the most wonderful way. It is because Christians are too embarrassed and choose the avoidance method.

To parents, pray and be open and honest with your children. Answer their questions and keep an open environment. Proper teaching begins at home. You can’t delegate parenting to the church nor the school system.

To pastors, do not be afraid to address this issue biblically. Don’t be so clinical or professional that people cannot relate. Yet, on the other hand, don’t be so irreverent that you turn your preaching and teaching into a big joke.

Dear Christian, our avoidance has created a lot of problems but we still have time. Don’t wait until there is a problem in your home or church to talk about it or go to the other extreme by creating an atmosphere of shame. Let’s get biblical and talk about the beauty of what God designed and still has for a husband and wife to cherish.

Author: Matthew Winters (The Comeback Pastor)

Born and raised in Portsmouth, VA, I eventually landed in upstate SC because when God calls I move. I gave my life to Christ in 1987 and surrendered to the call to ministry in 1997. I am a three-time graduate from Liberty University and Theological Seminary: BS in Religion (2003), the MA in Religion (Leadership concentration - 2006), and the Master of Divinity (Pastoral Ministries - 2013). I have served as a worship leader and senior pastor in Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia since 1996. After experiencing a divorce, God graciously gave me my wife, Jennifer, whom I married in September 2015. Between the two of us, we have 6 children. I am the Lead/Founding Pastor of Overcomers Church in Walhalla, SC, a church plant that is helping those who have been overcome by life to become Overcomers in Christ. Jennifer and I both love people and long to see them enter into a relationship with Christ and walk in the power of His Spirit. I pray that these thoughts I share will challenge and inspire you to greater heights and deeper depths for the glory of Christ.

3 thoughts on “The Christian Sex Problem”

  1. Matthew — Thank you for saying what needs to be said. Porn addiction statistics are higher among Christians than almost any other group…and as long as avoidance is the strategy it’s only going to get much, much worse.

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