When the Problem Is Everybody Else

I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to people with problems. That’s what I do! As a pastor and chaplain, I counsel people. Many times, I hear story upon story about multiple people who have done certain things and they are the ones to blame for everything. “They made me mad!” Oh really? They have that much power of you? Getting mad and how you react is not your personal choice?

What is going on when everyone else is the problem? Could it be that potentially hundreds of people are the root problem in your life, or is it that you have a ton of pride and arrogance to the point that you never accept responsibility for your own actions and reactions?

We can so easily deceive ourselves. We accept the bondage of misery because we choose to shift blame. “I wouldn’t be this way if…” or “That’s just the way that I am!” And then you complain about not having any friends or your “friends” being fake? Maybe they’re fake because they don’t want you to blow up at them like you always do?

I have no personal agenda with this post. It was, however, prompted by a conversation earlier this week. I struggled with this to some degree earlier in my life. I was always shifting blame about certain issues when I was the problem. I had to change.

The answer is to face the facts. No matter how much it hurts, we must admit that the problem is within us. We must answer first for ourselves. If all is well with us, God will deal with others. Every day is a great day to do a reality check!


  1. That’s the key—at the end of each day we should do a heart check! My old bible class teacher used to say he’d end each day and ask forgiveness for all the sins he could remember committing that day, and also asking God to forgive and reveal the ones he didn’t realize he’d committed. That takes a lot of humility to recognize there are problems we may not even recognize, but still asking God to reveal and forgive.

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