Tis The Season…But Could You Forgive This? Can You Forgive Stupid?

I try to be very understanding,  and if not  I am always forgiving,  because my Bible says if I desire forgiveness I must forgive. Not always easy, but when I think about the consequences of withholding it , I don’t even want to be a part of it. However,  I am not perfect, and occasionally I have found myself on the wrong end of a laugh at someone else’s expense. After all, how badly can it offend someone  if people get a chuckle out of a silly mistake. As it turns out I was about to find out.

So what to do when you are faced with a real life, honest to goodness incident that actually requires complete stupidity, and total absence of any thought at all? Is it ok to laugh?

If  something has occurred that you have never even heard mentioned in your lifetime and yet now someone you are very connected with has personally been involved in and you know all the details. Do you tell?

Sometimes when we are feeling a little low on the intelligence pole, someone does something that absolutely makes you feel like Albert Einstein on his best day. An act that defies all logic and leaves you with several options. You can exploit it, cover up an offense ( the biblical way), or just go with the flow and laugh with the crowd.

Well I was privy to such an act just recently and even as I write this, I am laughing at the picture in my head of what this looked like.  Although I promise you not much laughing was going on at the time of the incident. More like crying . However,  we  know that time heals all wounds, so after much prayer and contemplating, I feel it’s ok to share. Just so you all are aware, I have full permission to share this highlight of a most memorable event. So here goes. You decide whether or not you could let this go, or slide, even forgive?

sandwich and microwave

Not so long ago there was this guy who woke up around 2:30 am, and hungry. Not such an odd event for him as he is known to sleep little and snack much during the night. This particular time was unusual only in that he was still a little groggy as he made his way to see what the fridge had waiting for him. Just a tad more unsteady than usual, and more hungry too.  So he spots in the freezer some White Castle sliders, which are irresistible no matter what time of day when cooked right, who can argue that?

plus sign

I am trying to tell it exactly as it happened with details, so I will say that he got a tray that was ok for the microwave and placed it on the counter ready to hold the sliders as they were cooked. The tray and sliders were sitting on the kitchen counter between the stove top and the sink.  Before cooking them the man realized he had not stopped to use the restroom as is customary when he woke up at this time and the urge was too strong to wait.  Still holding his drink and his cell phone as both were in his room next to him when he got up, naturally he  set the items down since he did not care to bring them into the bathroom. So, as would make sense,  the drink and phone are gently set down on the tray by the sandwich, so they would be protected from the sink/ water next to them.

cell phine mine.jpg

Always the perfectionist and some may even say a bit OCD, he still would not allow himself to go to the restroom until he had done the traditional laying of the paper towel over the sliders, lest he run into the problem of not cooking them just right.  After leaving the items on the tray and using the restroom, he got snagged by a headline on the laptop across the room which had the national news on. So, he wanders over and checks it out, after all this guy is a writer like us and if a good post opportunity presents itself, he is on it. After a few minutes he heads over to his snack to prepare it with every intention of enjoying it while finishing the story,

equal sign

Mesmerized by the story on the internet he quickly grabs his drink off the tray ( you cannot microwave coke cans) and carefully places that tray with the covered sliders in the microwave for exactly 77 seconds , which despite what the package says is exactly the right amount of time to cook them if you want them to taste like real sliders. In the blink of an eye he is twirling around back in the office chair by the computer to continue the very important story on the news, just awaiting the aroma of the burgers to come…seconds pass, more seconds pass and many more… he smells no aroma of cooking sliders…. just an eery silence approaching.

SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!

No aroma,  the noises start, the flickering of the microwave begins, and he knows now what has happened.  What an idiot, he thinks to himself! He must have left a fork on the tray  before cooking the food. Oh, man. He rolls that chair  to the oven faster than you can say Samsung– before the buzzer goes off, hoping to salvage the burgers, yet at that very moment one of those goosebumps all over, throat gets dry, hair stands on back of the head moments occurs and a blank slate is all that’s on his mind. He opens the door to the microwave, he has lost his appetite, forgotten what was on the news and is sweating profusely. Consciously he can’t grasp it but something is wrong,- oh so very wrong. 

burnt cell

As he kneels before the microwave, in somewhat of a praying, yet almost fetal position on the floor, he comes to realize that there is no fork in the microwave. Oh, how he wishes for a fork. yet he is aware that the flames coming from the tray could not be burning from a fork. You know the whole metal doesn’t burn thing …

At this point he looks over his shoulder at his desk and spots the box to his recently purchased Samsung Galaxy 7 cellular phone. Holding back tears but also prepared to run around the house and scream like a 2-year-old, he composes himself, and puts the flames out. He glances at his phone and realizes he failed to do step three when preparing sliders;  #2 is place paper towel on sliders, and #3 is remove cell phone from tray.

Always the optimist he thinks -WARRANTY!

But that thought passes. He moves quickly into the justification phase. ” Heck I have had that old thing for months now” then onto the flat-out denial phase of ” I have been wanting a new phone anyhow, no big deal.”

The people-the only people who got to see the roasted ghost of a phone were supposed to have mercy as he was a good customer . Instead he finds himself in the middle of a drive by mocking as he parades through the Metro PCS store to see if anything could be saved. Apparently the manager, (despite a request for privacy during this time while he mourned) decided to let the other employees in on his little laugh so they could all enjoy it. In front of the other customers the manager shouted not to dispose of it in any of his trash containers, because of any possible danger with the microwave/battery issues.

group of people

If you all, or any of you were thinking it would be okay to laugh or spread this around the office then you have absolutely no heart. I mean how could you let someone, an innocent man, a good and hard-working man like me suffer for this? I mean let anyone suffer like this? It is painful enough I have to go through something like this. Pretty soon your 10-year-old daughter is telling her class about it. You never know.

This could happen to anyone. No matter who you are. So please do not relish in the fact that this actually was last Saturday morning and  in my home-  I was the guy in tears on the floor. I was dying to find a way to blow another 100 bucks I didn’t have anyhow, I swear.

Being the forgiving person I am however, I chose to forgive myself this time.

How embarrassing. But yes it is true.  I am facing it head on. My therapist says denial will just delay the healing and therefore delay my children from wanting to be seen with me in public again.

One request I have for closure purposes, is that you all stop asking me to sign your cell phones. To me this is no joke.

 Oh and don’t act all haughty taughty, as if you have never nuked a phone.  Actually in my opinion any phone advertised as ” smart ” would have come with a built in microwave alert system anyhow.

 

With A Forgiving Spirit This Christmas,

TJ

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