The worst thing I’ve seen in my years of teaching parenting is not the continual failures. Its the absolute unwillingness for most parents to reach out for coaching or help befire something big does go down with your child. It frustrates me because after 45 foster kids, and four of my own, as well as having worked with thousands , I think I have a little something to offer.
Here’s the truth, as hard as it may sound; someone is going to parent your child. Its going to be either you, or Facebook. They will learn how to think and how to walk, dress, talk and act from Snapchat or Instageam if they are not getting it at home.
As a random example Im going to ask you a question ..In the age group of 11-17 of children who have social media accounts, what percent do you think are exposed to hard core pornography whether they were looking for it or not? Think about it for a minute while I note one other issue.
Positive to negative interaction and self esteem…
If you talk to your child about what they are doing wrong more than what they are doing right, don’t expect any change in behavior , but do expect a low self esteem in your child. Just like you and I respond to positive feedback better then negative, kids are no different.
The average parent makes 1 positive comment to every 10-13 negatives. In order to change behavior patterns, you need at least 8 positives to each critical. Why? Very simple. Positive reinforcement is the only way to change behavioral patterns. Nobody, including us adults, ever change our behavioral patterns based on criticism.
There are so many very simple tips and ideas for parenting, to save your children from the world and the things that are out there right now. You can salvage, even if you made mistakes, it’s never too late, but if you need help you’ve got to reach out- and that’s what we do here. It is so frustrating to see parents struggle with anything from what kind of doctor to go to , to why they are getting no cooperation from their children and a myriad of other issues, but refuse to ask for help. Its plain old pride. Get over yourself already. This is not about you. If you love your child you will do what it takes to see them up for success.
And that’s what I’ve done for 20 years, so if you are a person who’s got a child or children and you don’t know what to do next. reach out for Parent Coaching at Don’t Label My Kid! No matter what the situation , its never too late.
Ninety Percent. That’s the answer the the question about kids and porn on social media. Shocked? Well, do you have a filter on your kids accounts? Do you go over their accounts with them and have their password? Something to think about. That number isn’t going down until parents do something.
When my truck breaks down, I take it to a truck mechanic. I can scream at it all week but it is not getting better without a person who has a gift to work on it. Its the same with kids. We all have certain gifts . Maybe you are an accountant. Good with numbers.
Not me. I would go nuts in that job. Its not my area. Take the human body. arms, legs, fingers, elbows, etc. What if we were all thumbs? How would we operate? We could not. So it goes when we each need help.. So don’t delay reaching out for any help you need.
For Parent coaching contact me at Tim@dontlabelmykid.com.