Mom – Dad – Ever Told Your Kid Something Like ” If You Don’t Have Better Grades Next Semester- You Can Forget About ( U Fill In The Blank)?

We have all said something totally stupid when trying to threaten ( but not threaten) our kids into doing something. For example when I was a new dad I remember telling my then 6 year old son that he could forget about that dirt bike we had been shooting for on his next birthday which was oh, about 7 months away if he didn’t quit playing around in church with his brother.. ( he was such a smart butt even then ( his moms side of course) I think he even tried to get out of it by saying he was trying to learn how to ” lay hands on people like the bible says” ( oh boy did I want to join in..)

Couple of major issues with me back in that gap..for 1, a 6 year old is blessed to keep his sights set until dinner time that nite, much less 7 months away..

The expert term for that if we were all hanging at Dr . Phil’s house or whatever is that the verbalized expectation for my son was not Natural and Logical. It simply means this,

Whenever you are issuing a reward or a consequence, it should be natural to the behavior and age appropriate for the child.

 Hey Little Man- I know you are only 9 , but if your behavior doesn’t start to improve you can forget attending  USC like your brother.… { this is not natural for a child his age to even process}

From today on, think to yourself, does my consequence for my child remotely match the behavior that cost him or her the consequence? It should.

For example – “Susan- I have told you 3 times today to keep that stereo low. It is so loud I cannot hear. So since you did not do as I asked, you cannot get the red dress for prom you and mom picked out- I am sorry..”


Ok  -in this case the consequence has nothing to do with the reward- Can you all think of perhaps the MOST logical consequence could be? How about since she kept her radio at a level that was not allowed, she loses her stereo privileges for 3 days… now that sounds logical…

Remember- when your actions make sense to your kids they are much more likely to pick up on their own what they could be losing if they violate rules.

Happy Parenting


Author: (Don't Label My Kid! Coaching & Counseling Team)

Social Worker- Mental Health, Addictions, and Behavioral health- Leadership Educator-, Juvenile Justice. A variety of coaching. I have a great desire to help others make it through times that I myself have had to navigate. I understand the process, the pain,and the support needed. I, and the rest of my team all have both the formal education to coach others but more importantly we also have the life experience which allows us to relate to all the phases and hurdles that come with recovering from issues like depression, addiction, domestic violence, spiritual confusion, and much more. I feel that the combination of formal training and life experience allows us to meet those we help every point of need- in a real way.

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