Mom – Dad – Ever Told Your Kid Something Like ” If You Don’t Have Better Grades Next Semester- You Can Forget About ( U Fill In The Blank)?

We have all said something totally stupid when trying to threaten ( but not threaten) our kids into doing something. For example when I was a new dad I remember telling my then 6 year old son that he could forget about that dirt bike we had been shooting for on his next birthday which was oh, about 7 months away if he didn’t quit playing around in church with his brother.. ( he was such a smart butt even then ( his moms side of course) I think he even tried to get out of it by saying he was trying to learn how to ” lay hands on people like the bible says” ( oh boy did I want to join in..)

Couple of major issues with me back in that gap..for 1, a 6 year old is blessed to keep his sights set until dinner time that nite, much less 7 months away..

The expert term for that if we were all hanging at Dr . Phil’s house or whatever is that the verbalized expectation for my son was not Natural and Logical. It simply means this,

Whenever you are issuing a reward or a consequence, it should be natural to the behavior and age appropriate for the child.

 Hey Little Man- I know you are only 9 , but if your behavior doesn’t start to improve you can forget attending  USC like your brother.… { this is not natural for a child his age to even process}

From today on, think to yourself, does my consequence for my child remotely match the behavior that cost him or her the consequence? It should.

For example – “Susan- I have told you 3 times today to keep that stereo low. It is so loud I cannot hear. So since you did not do as I asked, you cannot get the red dress for prom you and mom picked out- I am sorry..”


Ok  -in this case the consequence has nothing to do with the reward- Can you all think of perhaps the MOST logical consequence could be? How about since she kept her radio at a level that was not allowed, she loses her stereo privileges for 3 days… now that sounds logical…

Remember- when your actions make sense to your kids they are much more likely to pick up on their own what they could be losing if they violate rules.

Happy Parenting


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