A Secret That Will Save All Parents Many A Gray Hair..If Implemented…

Although I will need to develop  an indivualized  Care Plan with you  when you  utiilize my services, I will be dropping universal tips on anything from parenting to depression when possible. 

Today’s tip is far away the most effective and the least intrusive  to make your life as a parent with a teenager or a young adolescent much easier. Most of us humans are immediately aware of things that are not right -or things that are not going well.

As parents, the very first target we have is our own children, they are the easiest victims  to catch doing what’s “not right” . Often times it’s over exaggerated as well  because of our own day or something that we are frustrated about. 

How many times have we all said to our children something like  ‘ don’t even start” . I had  a rough day already. I don’t need any more headaches.” Sound familiar anyone ? ( if you said no you are lying) lol.

. One year when I taught parent training for the state and I had about 15 parents in the class I asked for a show of hands for whoever could name the best thing that their child did the day before in their home. There wasn’t a hand up for a good 2 or 3 minutes. Next I asked, ” can you think of a few things that went wrong?” 

Every hand went up immediately. I followed it up with this statement. Wouldn’t it be nice if pointing out the negatives and the wrongs in your child’s life would change their behavior pattern. Of course, there was silence because I had finished my statement. The truth is negative reinforcement, whether on a child or an adult does not change long term behavioral patterns. That’s a proven fact. Instead of catching our kids being bad, we have to retrain our brains to to catch them being good.

 “Good”  is a very generic word so we need to narrow that down specifically to catch them doing something that you asked them to do. For example ” Jimmy , I noticed you made your bed before school today like I asked , I appreciate that ” 

If you begin to ” catch them being good’  you’ll find in a very short time  that the desired behavior will increase .  In 2-3 weeks you will notice a complete change. ( again, let me emphasize on an individualized family care plan, we would work out the specific motivators that your child is working for, and we would tie that into the positive behaviors, so after 3 days of positive behaviors, they would earn another step towards a bigger goal then just verbal praise. But that’s an individualized care plan. 

If you teach yourself to make 7-9 positive statements each day to your child  day, finding at least 7 or 8 positive things state to your child..when it comes time for correction it comes with ease. They aren’t feeling beat up all day long . 

 Think of it this way-  if we as adults at our jobs respond to positive behavior reinforcement better than constant criticism, why would you think a child could do better? 

So there is a very simple start to turning around the entire behavioral pattern of the kids in your home. For an individualized Care Plan and specific motivators that are long term, which you want to build into your routine.. Contact me ..



Author: www.dontlabelmykid.blog (Don't Label My Kid! Coaching & Counseling Team)

Social Worker- Mental Health, Addictions, and Behavioral health- Leadership Educator-, Juvenile Justice. A variety of coaching. I have a great desire to help others make it through times that I myself have had to navigate. I understand the process, the pain,and the support needed. I, and the rest of my team all have both the formal education to coach others but more importantly we also have the life experience which allows us to relate to all the phases and hurdles that come with recovering from issues like depression, addiction, domestic violence, spiritual confusion, and much more. I feel that the combination of formal training and life experience allows us to meet those we help every point of need- in a real way.

6 thoughts on “A Secret That Will Save All Parents Many A Gray Hair..If Implemented…”

  1. I love this! Why is it so hard to point out the good in our children? Truly, anything of value demands effort and it’s much easier to spot faults than to search for the praiseworthy.

  2. I have also discovered and us against the problem approach is working for instance my daughter is a struggling reader. Before we read we say ” we are kicking readings but” ” we’ve got this” and other funny things … she is no longer afraid of reading and is seeking it out everywhere!
    I am trying something similar with the forgetting ….. before school. With statements like what can we do to make this work what do we need? Then my boys -12 are coming up w solutions ( notes on door and in car). Myself and 4 children have to leave by 6:40 am.
    Keep the positive solutions coming!

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