I am about to out into words a post that quite possibly could rank to me at least in the top 3 posts I have written here . I have posted 500+. 200 or so are on the light side, unrelated to my experiences in abuse, addiction, a family peppered with suicide, depression, violence, more depression and on it goes. I suffered through many , many days, weeks and even months crawling emotionally and spiritually towards some imaginary finish line that I could not see.
Now even though I have enough in my mind and to fill many pages here, and planned on taking my time, just 30 minutes ago that plan was scrapped. Oh not for lack of stories good and sad, spiritual journeys that have been so unreal to some that they question why I maintain any faith at all in ” God” – much less a stronger faith then ever..(and those are my Christian friends!)
Nope, just I was preparing to start this post, something just drew me to glance at the new posts on reader before I started. Well, just like most details in my life, this was no accident at all. Other than a little bump to my pride I am good with it now.. lol
A new friend , fellow blogger and gifted writer named Mehul Singla just rearranged my plan 100% and he has no clue-yet !..He just today pushed some great “6 letter posts” out and asked for feedback. I gave him my 2 cents. A few minutes later I realized I was giving us both advice. So here is the new plan. I will spare you 30 minutes of sad stories and how my life has taken its odd turns- ONLY if you promise to do 2 things.
1- After you read this blip I am almost done with please watch this video. One of my very favorite singers in the world..Jon Foreman of Switchfoot.
Jon has touched my life for 25 years, many by this very song. One time I recall laying on the floor of a rehab at 29 withdrawing from medications, crying out for anyone to listen-when nobody believed in me anymore. Another maybe 3 years later when began to battle major depression while being used as a guniea pig. About 2 dozen medications later I got off them all- but not before the car wreck, then being sucker punched by a guy with brass knuckles which aside from 50 stitches in my eye socket cost me much memory.
I wont get into really bad stuff like my bone disease, failed hip replacement at 44 and 6 surgeries after that leaving my famiy homeless…
So watch it- Thats #1
Here is THEE point- Whatever your hole, your pit, your paralyzing loss, pain, or whatever…Jon’s cry to me in this song has always been the same- ” I Dare You To Move”-
If you google ” What is the song Dare You To Move about- Jon gives an overview of why, when, how that song just became…and how in the very hardest most tragic times, it was the answer to this question that in many ways determined his destiny on earth..as it does mine each day..
To my atheist, agnostic, not sure yet- tree huggers, beer chuggers and all of y’all -lol you know I love you all the same…but an interesting piece of trivia- Switchfoot is NOT a ” Christian” band… I have seen them 3x in person and their message is always the same-
- a message of hope and healing. ( I even smoked a Newport at a concert one time)
I know, I know exactly what you are thinking… “Tj you live on the edge”-
Well, I have calmed down some ok?
(Now secretly, I think thats just what they are called to do- UNBEAT some people who have been bible thumped to near death -lol)
Just to encourage people and live it too..
#2 – It can be just between you and you – you and God- you and a palm tree- doesnt matter- but do this- Identify you “mud puddle.” To me my mud puddles are; one part dirt from our past, 1 part self pity, 1 part fear of what lies ahead if you DO move on and 1 part liking attention we get from being ” muddy” all the time…lol
I am sorry its just the language I use! Work with me…
Lastly- although this can be private…often when we do begin to identifythese things, we need someone or people to reach out to,…if you find yourself with a good idea of what your puddle of choice is, do not hesitate to email me in 100% certainty of absolute confidentiality. I have learned who to know and trust in my 25 years in social work..whether immediate counseling from a trusted private and free service to the most elaborate fancy shmancy beachsie rehab where you get your own laptop with your yogurt and personak trainer all in strict confidence. Remember, I have already been where most of you have, or need to be when it comes to identifying our areas of need. Its an everyday thing for me…