Urgent! Trump Finds 22 Islamic ‘Training Camps’ In America – Obama Ignored Them (Video)

Love him or hate him for it,  President Trump is just determined to break that darn tradition of the Islamic cult.  Terrorism.  Click the link below for the story.

                               

    OOPS! Hey- What’s A Few Terrorist Cells Amongst Friends?

 

obama-muslim

 

tj

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(America’s) David Getting On With The Business Of Our Country As Goliath Slowly Bleeds Out..

u-turn-permitted-cropped

 

 

“Goliath mocked David and said that he was not afraid of a little boy. David said that the Philistine came with a sword, shield and spear, but David came with confidence in the God of Israel. David boldly replied that he had no fear of Goliath and that the birds would be picking the flesh off his giant body by the end of the day

David let fly the stone in his sling. The stone hit the giant between the eyes and the stone sunk into his forehead. Goliath fell forward while both armies watched. David then pulled the giant sword from its sheath and chopped off the head of the Philistine champion.

1 Samuel 17

 


 

Whether or not you are Christian is not the point here. I shared this as an example of a person who seemingly was facing sure defeat and humiliation, yet for some reason he had the inside information needed to ignore the odds. Not only that but he actually used the evil man”s own weapon to kill him.

This can be used as a symbolic tool for all of us as I am sure we all have or are facing some ” giants ” in our lives. Disease, grief or whatever it may be, we all have them. However what separates from us from David is that at the very least we do have access to some type of reference book or manual as to how some have had victory over what we are facing.

Whether or not you are a Trump supporter matters not here. Many people from all angles have spoken up at some point during the campaign process stating this very thing-the odds are against Trump.  Now that he has beaten the odds-what next?

Seems he has been making very fast progress at undoing any dangerous traps and laws signed off on by Obama. Many times with no support,  except his worn out executive pen..

In todays news, Trump calls for an investigation into the Clintons and possible ties to Russia. Click the link-

Time to uncover the mud of the slingers…

 

 

The above article is just one of hundreds of examples of serious wrong doing . The liberals will for sure downplay and attempt to discredit this and the next 50 or so examples as they are exposed by Trump. Even with that said, the party cannot  continue this forever and at some point even the most liberal lefty will pick up his ball and go home. That is not really a victory in my eyes, as it would be nice if this country was full of TRUTH seekers, not TRUMP haters.

I must admit that even as a firm supporter of most of what President Trump stands for and opposed to what Obama stands for –  I am surprised at the turn around time in which this administration has been able to accomplish what they have. As it was in the story of David and Goliath- Trump’s  “giant”  in this past election was still running smack even at the actual moment that battle would begin.

So confident,  that no mental preparation or halt of attacks were noticed att least that we are aware of.   Just” jacking their  jaw” as they say . with no evidence, proof or truth to most of it. No matter what side you are on, it’s just not possible to deny that most of the talk was projection.  Martin Sheen criticizing Trumps parenting? Seriously ?  How embarrassing for him. Maybe he was partying with Charlie and made a poor judgement call while high on crack.

I know first hand that can be very difficult to sweep up the broken glass of another. I  give Trump much credit for not giving in to the outpouring of vitriolic  hate speech and pressure from the groups that swore they would kill themselves or move out of the country if Trump won.

How though ? How does a human stand the pressure of the entire  national (liberal) media?

Personally,  there are days when I don’t feel up to looking the checkout girl at the grocery in the eye while checking out…Even on my best days I don’t know that I could keep my temper in check with the ugly accusations and even personal attacks on his minor child and family.

I believe the answer is simple. He was aware of hos battles. He knew the truth and ugliness that we are just starting to be allowed to see about the Obama charade. He came into battle much like David, and knew enough that no matter the spin of the media, or silly attempts to sling that truth would prevail. It is prevailing as we are daily seeing incredible progress make major improvements in many areas.

Sharia law banned – now publicly and not tucked under any rug. The 78 million tax dollars Obama paid an advertising group during the election to bombard the country with false claims . The counter- terrorism action that Trump has and is taking to protect us, which Obama decided to call ” random acts of violence”..The list is endless and it only started just months ago!

The point here is we are not out of the woods yet. No matter how much irrefutable evidence is presented– as we know both Obama and Hillary are not in prison and are living free unlike anyone in the general public would be. So we are now in the stage of clear evidence of overwhelming significance with 100% proof of crimes.

The above clip is just one of hundreds of examples of serious wrong doing- allegedly. The liberals will for sure downplay and attempt to discredit this and the next 50 or so examples as they are exposed by Trump.

The supporters of Hillary and Obama have decided not to acknowledge it but to find loopholes, or cite any number of excuses why it is all fake. Not only that but giving publicity to thug rappers who are ” joking”  in videos about  ASASSINATING our President.. I don’t know about you but those words have always meant possible prison time as I was growing up. Now the liberals put them on Saturday Night Live..

I believe we are at the stage now when a president is capable after cleaning house of corrupted officials to order the cameras to stay on indefinetly. We are seeing an influx of terrible accusations about Obama, Hillary and many who were associated. Of course their suporters are pretending its all manufactured by Trump.

Common sense tells you that Trump does not need  to manufacture anything. He is the President ladies and gentleman.

All he is doing and will continue to do is expose what has already been in existance for 8 years and fix the mess.

If you disregard every word I have written here please look with your own eyes at the closing example that things are far from they appear and from what the media likes to say..

 

Lately since David ( Trump ) has smashed Goliath in the mouth, there has been a weak effort by the few stragglers in the liberal media who refuse to give in to truth. They have decided not only to deny the impending slaughter, but divert audiences with totally false information about Trump to get the public eye off of what Trump hs done and ill keep dong.

Just to be clear, the issues we who are anti-terrosits, pro-America and all are accusing Obama and Hillary of are very serious . Some involve many counts of High Treason..Serious stuff. So lets see what comparable accusations the leberal media has to offer about  Trump. Lets see his dirty laundery. CNN bring your A game….

 

Well here is it folks. They nailed Trump here. He might be scared of stairs. Shoot Mr. President why you not disclose this when we were voting? It may have changed my mind..

 

 

 

Also in todays news was an article on how Trumps ratings have dropped so low its proof our country does not approve Then again, when I looked at the source, none other then CNN!

After looking a little deeper I actually found an example of that good old  PROJECTION  they love to use so much

Who has the terrible dip in ratings? None other then CNN themselves

 

 http://www.inquisitr.com/264600/cnn-ratings-continue-to-plummet-q2-lowest-in-two-decades/

Next time a Trump hater tells you some secret about him- check the source. They arent used to that kind of accountability.

 http://www.inquisitr.com/264600/cnn-ratings-continue-to-plummet-q2-lowest-in-two-decades/
Lovin Trump 4 Loving Amercia
tj

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mailbag-The Questions Only We Dare To Answer…(They Crack Me Up)

The Morning After… Starting Over, Again!

This is a great example of how small things can make big differences in our daily lives. We all know someone who seems to have it all – yet they are absolutely miserable. Angry, bitter at the world and even their own blood.. I don’t like naming names,- but I have seen it many times both in my personal life and in the media.
Leona Helmsly comes to mind.. … ( I said I didn’t like to name any names, but I will on occasion lol) Good stuff.

Two Sure Bets.

https://rasica.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/633696271021361810-godandguns1.jpg

Trump Was Bugged..

As expected , the Dummocrats remain in denial even when they are smacked in the face with the truth. It reminds me of when my kids were toddlers and they ran into the street chasing a ball into harm’s way.

 It didn’t matter how many times I told them of the  danger,  they repeated the same behavior until one day they became mature  enough to understand it…

I can’t be mad at the Dems/Libs,  just like I wasn’t mad at my children. No  matter what though  when the butcher starts slaughtering himself-  somebody has to step in to protect them and all those around..

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/03/22/trump-team-communications-captured-by-intelligence-community-surveillance-nunes-says.html

Mental Health Patient? This Is Worth A Quick Read…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenhan_

After reading this how do you feel about your diagnosis or your family member’s diagnosis?

  Are they valid? 

‘It’s Not Your Press Briefing’: Spicer Chastises ABC Reporter for Interrupting Others – Geller Report

                 Daddys Home!

                        

    Go To Your Room Liberal Media 

    Dont come out until you can demonstrate proper respect..√.

          ( that should be awhile )

http://pamelageller.com/2017/03/spicer-chastises-abc.html/
Tj

UPDATE#2 – FATHER ALBERT GONDEK PEDOPHILE- IF YOU HATE CHILD MOLESTERS -STOP HERE! URGENT! PREDATOR PRIEST- NORTH CAROLINA_

“La Folla Femmine.”.

Catholic Pedophile Priests

“The Feminine Mob”

          YOU ARE NEEDED RIGHT NOW!

        UNLESS YOU ARE PRO-PEDOPHILE-READ THIS.

cropped-eye.jpg

———————

I have always had a tough time trying to describe the whole pedophile ring in the Catholic church. I’ve always known and millions have suspected what goes on in there but never able to prove it.  Before I go further, I am not saying ALL priests are pedophiles. As a matter of fact, a priest helped me in gathering this information

With that said, its time the world sees just how deeply involved all levels of clergy in some areas really are..

 Because of how ruthless they are in being willing to be to protect their sick hobbies at any cost, I even named them. I call them La Folla Femminine..

                  The Feminine Mob

                                                                               .”.

After all the years of seeing what I have, one way I try to cope and take any comfort at all is to remind myself that it isn’t over.  The church can bully and hurt people to protect their child predators here on earth but the future outlook is not so bright.

.


               Matthew 18:6  (ESV)

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

_____________________________________________________________________

It may just  blow your mind to know what happens from the inside out in the Catholic church (in certain areas)  on a regular basis. The information we have provides some evidence of  things that have never been proven before although always suspected. 

This documentation is a model of sorts that the Catholic church uses to avoid accountability and consequences for what I believe is a huge pedophile ring that spans the globe and leads straight to the pope.

You might recall that father Albert Gondek first came into my life as he was very closely associated with my own brother 20 some years ago. My brother was another victim of this predator, and sadly the end result for my brother was suicide.  Just as it has always been until now, even evidence in writing did not interest the church and Gondek went off free of course. If you care to see what the predator looks like, click below.

 

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/ckysag/picture50801635/ALTERNATES/LANDSCAPE_1140/Rev.-Albert-J.-Gondek-OSFS

(Did you look at him? I know – me too. Reminds me of certain types of clowns – you know the real creepy ones ? John Wayne Gacy comes to mind. )

After the incident with my brother I decided on a career in Social Work and kind of lost track of Gondek. Due to some very unusual events, I was connected with someone who just “happened” upon me on my blog, and also” happened” to be involved in Gondeks current parish. In a very short period of time we were able to fill in some gaps of time that placed Gondek in certain situations similar to my brothers. Between that information, and you all sharing the story, everything needed fell right into place.

As a Social Worker and a person who has experienced first hand the incredible apathy and disgusting  behaviors in the church, I  have always kept my eye on this problem but always came up with the same dilemma. 

Lawyers and money /millions of dollars over the history of the church has always won over anyone trying to raise awareness to these issues. To sum it up,  anybody who has spoken up or  attempted to bring it to light has either been bullied or bought out.

To date over six billion ( B) has been paid out  just to pay people off and settle with  them so they won’t speak up in court..

Those not  willing to take the bribe have suffered the wrath. Deportation,  the cutting off of food sources or income for their families,  exile from the local community and rumors of much worse things. In this particular case only one of the boys came forward out of the seven,  and  coincidentally  two weeks later  the Catholic church shipped him off to Mexico deportation .

Here is how slick  these guys are–

Check this out. After they got rid of the young man the spokesperson for the North Carolina diocese, who sent me the email you see in this post, made a statement something like this  ” Although we have no evidence, just an allegation from an incarcerated man, out of an abundance of caution Father Al is being moved to another state while we work with law enforcement to do a thorough investigation.”

He failed to leave out one critical piece of information He incarcerated the young man, in the deportation holding area.

And of course no investigation took place, no law enforcement was notified, nor was any agency.

 

The movie Spotlight  was a good door opener to get to the bottom of the real truth about the pedo-priest ring that I believe could be a majority in certain areas of the Catholic church.  Although they mostly uncovered records of older cases where people have covered things up and it wasn’t in real-time with real molesters and  real victims – it did serve as a tool to make the Catholic church at least cough up a tiny bit of information and sort of admit that maybe there were a few more pedo-priests than they thought. They came up with some sort of public announcement to pacify everyone.

  •  They opted telling the media they would put in place a committee to hold priests accountable. I know of no such committee.

  •  They also said publicly that they had a ZERO  tolerance in the area of pedophilia in the church..

  •  After reviewing all the records, I must say they were telling the truth about the ZERO tolerance.  They just left one critical part out.

  •  The ZERO tolerance was not for the priests but for the brat or who opened his mouth. You better believe there is a  ZERO tolerance for that..

  • Its bad news for the victim who chooses to make known the torment he’s experiencing by any member of   La Folla Femminine…

                                       

 When they are not busy painting each others fingernails – they are about the business of protecting their hobby.

 In a sense the movie was a victory for the church because the truth did not get exposed about the everyday functioning of this huge ring –  however it  did call for some action and accountability which now is an open door to show the truth of the extent of  it.

  In my opinion there should be a non-stop 24/7 investigative show just like COPS –    going  after all the priests still working and  molesting kids , every single day and night until it’s shut down.

The truth is it doesn’t matter if you had a trillion dollars or a trillion lawyers that’s not what drives this. There’s only one thing that can make the attention stay on this issue and that is the cameras of the media.

 If  just ONE affiliate  would keep the camera rolling after one incident and go to the next one and the next one and the next one they would be the first to spearhead something that could be the most effective positive change in the history of the church.

ARE WE GOING TO LET THIS PREDATOR WALK JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS?

delay

 

Unfortunately we have many  followers who are leading the way in the media . It will take a leader.

So my fellow bloggers, this is where the power of networking comes in and I need ALL of you to connect here.

                   LETS BLOW THIS UP SO IT CANNOT BE IGNORED.

If you all share this we can hit over a MILLION people just for starters…how about it?

Again the case is about Father Albert Gondek-Lexington, North Carolina- Our Lady Of The Rosary Catholic Church. Google that info you will confirm he was accused (again) in 2015- This case involved 7 boys and one who spoke up. We have all the neccessary statements, eye witnesses, living breathing people to testify of the hideous sex, drugs and intimidation scheme that Father Albert ran on young boys….disgusting.

He was recently rewarded for being a confessed predator with an early PAID retirement and no report to the law.. LETS MAKE THE LAW SEE IT AND THE MEDIA SEE IT.

 

As I said, it  has never been proven that pedophilia in the church is SUPPORTED…until now…

Many of you who helped me to put the word out about him in the last year will remember that we really needed some additional evidence and proof and some attention on this case. I shared with you the immediate results that all of you have gotten by blogging that post originally. 

One of the things you may be surprised about is the power the church has had to intimidate that even some law enforcement agencies seem intimidated by the church. 

Afraid to ruffle any feathers with full understanding that kids were being  raped  inside the very churches they drive by each day. Difficult to imagine.

It’s amazing to see  the Catholic church try to defend this problem by saying ” we’ve only had three or four hundred convicted pedophile priests” . There is good reason for that – it’s hard to convict a priest when the church protects them from the law and conceals the evidence.

Below is the link to the Bishops accountability page, where the church is supposed  to share with the public the status of the accused.

 As I just mentioned, the church officially came out with only 300 actual legit cases in a public statement recently.

What you are going to see when you have time to open this ( it’s NOT a 3 minute read) might shock you..rather then 300, their numbers range from 10-20k victims or “valid claims ” as they say. When you scroll through the lists, state by state or diocese by diocese you will think you are searching white pages of a major city.

There is more.  You see the author and editor of this site is non other then the Catholic church. Imagine, if they are willing ( only because they had no choice) to publish these pedo-priests- then God only knows how many truly exist? 

My instinct tells me it’s on the wrong side of 50% of priests , but if you count those who  aide and cover-up offenses of others, much higher.

http://www.bishop-accountability.org/AtAGlance/USCCB_Yearly_Data_on_Accused_Priests.htm

Check this article from an actual real Cardinal. Truth. He himself advocating to get rid of the  many pedophiles in the Catholic church. You know, the ones  that the pope swears are not there.

http://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/callista-ring/2017/01/23/young-pope-accidentally-confirms-catholic-doctrine-attempt

If  you’ve been following this you’ll remember it wasn’t just one-but six or seven boys he molested over two a year period. I am skipping much for times sake, but here is the bottom line. The email you see on top of this post is the actual email I received just days ago from one of the head pedo-priests of the North Carolina diocese. He was responding to a request I made months ago for an update on the ” investigation. “

 

 

He assumed I was just like the restbegging 2f the planet and would take what he said as gospel. He had no idea that I was fully aware of what he did with the victim, by deporting him just 2 weeks after he opened his mouth about Gondek.

I have the information in part due to you all bye the way.

As you see, he boldly and pompously wrote me the email – revealing the consequence for Gondek – all the while with full knowledge of the crimes committed. Just another day at the office!

 So Gondek, after molesting 7 boys, and getting so busted that they could not keep him  in the church any longer, was “sentenced” to an early PAID retirement, with a promise to do prayer and penance.

At least that’s what he thinks. As I read his pathetic email, I was also scanning an important document detailing what occurred – names, dates, offenses committed, and a whole lot of ugly detail about what the freak Gondek did to these kids. . Much of it I will never be able to post. You get the idea. ..

I have all the details and am more then willing to lay it all out for the world to see..

 I forgot to tell him that part. Maybe he’s reading it here now!

Their party has to end some time.

I’m hoping  these pedo-priests will soon be pedo-prisoners . See how they enjoy the same treatment they gave the young boys..

Then again they may not mind. The important thing is that they can’t molest and hurt kids anymore when they’re locked up.

 

Since I cannot get the proper attention of media or law enforcement for this pedophile, with proof of at least 7 boys molested-

 Lets Do What We Do Best- Spread The Word!

I am asking each one of you to share, re-blog, send to contacts in high places, in low places, or wherever you see fit. Just get it out. Dont let this die off. Its time for the pedo-priest rings to go down.

 

                  LETS  BLOW IT UP!

Thanks in advance-

tj

 

 

 

   

My Very Latest Parenting Tool..

https://duo.google.com/

 If you’re a parent and you want to know where your child is or who  they are  hanging with .. without asking  them upfront.. this is my latest recommendation.. I use it with my own family to subtly find out where they are and who they’re with. 

It’s a little tool called Google Duo.

I worked very hard  to put it  together for Google..

Ok, maybe I didn’t actually  work on it at all …I just downloaded it -but it’s the same thing right?

 The point is it’s an excellent tool to use to communicate with your loved ones for free/ one minute download and  no other bells and whistles or  new numbers to deal with.

Tj

Are You A Certified WordPress Geek?  IT Nerd Even?

If you happen to be one of those people that can complete IT  tasks and  deal with the intricacies of blogs from a technical side in  your sleep please read on. 

 
Looking for someone who has extensive knowledge of WordPress blogging , administrative  duties, IT,  marketing and other things. 

The person I  need is someone interested in a long-term relationship that  would involve a few blogs and some comprehensive technical work, ie.  portals and the like. 

I’ve waited  too long already to find this person so if you are interested please contact me ASAP …

Tim@dontlabelmykid.com

Have You Seen Any Acts Of Kindness By Kids Like This?

Every once in a while I see something that gives me a little bit of hope that there are still a few kids out there that appreciate kindness to others, rather then  ridicule and make  fun of people. Here’s an example of something that should be happening everywhere today but probably happens very rarely..

Read My Lips ..

You Really Think Your Efforts Make Any Real Difference? Get A Grip.

Gene Kelly was told he couldn’t dance for most of his first auditions. 

Walt Disney was told he just did not have the imagination needed to make it in advertising.

After a performance at the Grand Ole Opry,  Elvis Presley was told he’d be better off to go to Memphis and become a truck driver.

Albert Einstein didn’t  speak until he was 4 did not read until he was 7. Eventually came around.

Lucille Ball was  considered a b -actress and it was recommended she become a secretary.

Jerry Seinfeld was fired after a small part in the sitcom Benson.He was so bad they didn’t notify him but when he showed up for his next read through he wasn’t included in the script, then figured it out.

Abraham Lincoln started several businesses that were total failures.He ran many times for office and failed before becoming president

 Marilyn Monroe was urged to consider another career in modeling or acting as she didn’t seem to have the talent

Steve Jobs was fired from his own company.

Hopefully you’re catching the drift here. Trailblazers and leaders rarely get support from their peers -especially from insecure ones. If you are planning on making a difference in whatever your passion is you better get a grip. 

If you plan on actually pressing through the negativity,  the doubt and  haters you better hold on tight and get a grip on what it is you plan on doing just like the above people did and hundreds and hundreds of others have done. 

If you have followed me for any length of time or you can just read my homepage and  know some of the passion I have for certain issues.

Ive  spent a couple decades working in and living through some of these things and have a pretty good understanding of what’s wrong in our system.

 Just the other day as I was presenting an idea to  a colleague I was caught off-guard when I was asked the following question.

 “What are you trying to do to change the world?”

At that moment I froze- and knew I was at a crossroads.

I had to make a decision. Did I really believe what I was saying- that I could actually do this and make a difference or would I take the easy way out and fall back into sheeple position and be a follower?

So after careful thought I said “yes I do think I will change the world” I didn’t know it at the time but question was really  important for me. I needed to know if I really believed in what I was doing.

 Do you really believe you can make a change- do you have a grip?

Tj

100% Guarenteed Best Parenting Advice -Period. If You Are A Parent- Read Now. I Doubt You Have Heard This…

 

I don’t recall ever being so bold as to proclaim that I have an answer that every single parent will find invaluable. I am going to put that out there today however. The reason is simple. I personally have lived it, its tried and tested and proven a winner in every venue I have worked in, lived in and taught in. Before I quickly share this, I feel under the circumstances I should at least give you a quick breakdown of my background in this area, so you know I am not blowing smoke from some Dr. Dobson book I just read.

My experience in parenting;

Live in foster parent to over 50 abused, neglected and very troubled teens. For over 4 years I had 6 living with me at a time, for anywhere from 7 to 12 months average. I was responsible to develop individual behavioral plans, treatment goals and teach social skills to each until they were ready to transition back into their home situation. In most cases I worked with the parents of the teens on parenting issues, planning and transition goals for both the parents and the teen.

Certified 4x by Father Flanagan’s Boys and Girls Town as a Family Teacher. I worked in the emergency shelter, group home as mentioned and in both boys and girls homes.

I was hired by the state, specifically the Department of Juvenile Justice to teach parenting to groups, and also lead groups to teens in the system.

I have managed/run several day programs, alternative schools for expelled youth, and while managing one school I was asked to train the entire teacher roster in central Florida on classroom management. Three counties worth, and using a skills and behavior management model that I developed.

The most recent alternative setting I was involved in was for kids who were expelled from public school, sent to the secure treatment facility for violent offenders-then expelled from there. I got them next. Sixty  kids from 8-18- many convicted felons. Gang members, one of which sadly was murdered one night after school near his home by a rival.  Within a year, using my own model for behavior and hiring a staff of 45 then training them, most were saying yes sir and doing well in school. Ready to transition back to public school.

I was nominated for Administrator of the year my first year- for that county. ( I hate awards and recognitions as I am not into it, and I am not in it for that). Nevertheless, my Executive Director made me attend the party at the Hilton Oceanside to announce the winner. I was the 2nd place guy, and the winner was a 20 year county judge who was retiring.

 

I also have 4 of my own. 2 boys -2 girls. Boys are up and out. My older son is in the Army reserves, a sniper/ weapons expert, full-time college student and full time worker as well. He took 30th in the nation out of 30k in 9mm marksmen and since then he has had many doors open, he chose military over law enforcement… ( he said he did not want to arrest his friends… : {  umm wait a minute, should I be worried about that statement, I remember thinking…what are his friends doing??? lol)

My younger son -19 is a professional bull rider and is currently around 20th in the world or so, and the current southern states champion in his circuit. He has made more money in the last year then I have in 10 years. I never made a lot, but when I was 19 I was begging for a 10 spot from my mom…so I am super proud.

My little babies are my heartbeat. 9&5 – I am not at all partial but I think they are at least in the top .0001% of cutest kids around….

wp-1483613316427.jpg

Ok, enough about my experience. It was necessary in this unusual scenario, for credibility but please understand I am not bragging at all. I am an imperfect man who has made far too many major mistakes in my lifetime for my liking.

As matter of fact the advice I am sharing now was birthed out of me being forced as a young dad, to either try to hide my problems and mistakes from my kids, put on the old happy daddy face and pretend I have it all together, or keep it legit, and lay it ALL on the table for my then young boys to absorb and possibly judge me on.

Let me reiterate one thing. There is nothing as a parent, even with the experience, training and degrees that I did long enough and consistently enough to call myself a role model parent and stick my chest out. Quite the contrary actually.  I grew up with a father that actually introduced me to all the WRONG things, and ways at a very early age that cost me many good years. Not blaming anyone for my problems, but sometimes I wish I would have had a decent shot at the starting line. It took, and still is taking me decades to untangle some of the crazy webs that have been woven in my brain since 6-8 years old.

My understanding of the value of women, the importance of choosing words carefully as you cannot “un-hear” -and that little issue of being fed alcohol while barely in double digits then not understanding why I was in withdrawals for many of my high school years really messed me up.

So it doesn’t really matter who caused what, or who is to blame. Kids don’t care. It is what it is to them. What you see is what you get.

Now, I will tell you what I decided. I decided to gamble. I laid it all on the line. Came clean with boys. Depression, addiction, everything. Yes, I felt like a loser at that moment. I would never ever trade it though. Never.

So the heart of the matter is this; You are not perfect. You will, if you have not already take a fall….that can become public to your family at best.. I can attest as the chief of all sinners that there is very little you can do to dance your way around, avoid, disguise, and evade issues that you know very well your kids will find out about or already know. It has NEVER worked in my 22 years as a parent and 25 years in this field.

The very best thing you can do for the respect and trust of your family, is come clean. Sit down and talk about what you are struggling with, what you are worried about, take ownership. Not just that though, you need to share your plans to remedy, and invite them to be a part, if appropriate. In my case, the first time I had a sit down of this type, I shared my on-going struggle with addiction to alcohol, and then revealed my plan to enter into an inpatient program.

That was the best move I ever made. Not only did I have a giant monkey off my back, but somehow my kids respected me more. Because of that dialogue many years ago, we have this open door, no fear deal which allows them to talk to me about anything without judgement, and me to do the same. Nobody can use my past struggles against me anymore because I chose to put it out there myself..

I don’t know who this is for , but it must be important to someone as it has been burning a hole in my soul all night to get posted. You may not have the issues I did, maybe its totally different. It doesn’t matter, because the point of this post is to share a golden parenting tip, a sure fire way to be a winner of a parent. It ain’t by being perfect. Because not one of us is. It is by being transparent.

It takes a real ego check to do. Its difficult at first. Then freeing. 

All the years in all the programs, and schools and group homes I ran that I had such great success with had nothing to do with training, or education. Those things came in handy down the road. However the secret to my success with any kid I have worked with or my own kids, is nothing more then honesty.

I have taken and taught and trained on every possible theory in behavior and parenting. They all have some merit. They also all have one thing in common.

None work effectively, without complete transparency from the adult first. Kids give respect when it is modeled for them. Not forced respect either. Not they are afraid you will yell at them or beat them respect. I mean genuine respect, which unlocks the door for all the parenting books and ideas you want. Until you have that, its like sucking air through a very thin straw..

 

Hope this helps. It works!

 

tj