Are You Double Minded? Fail Much?

Are You Double Minded? Fail Much?

I was watching one of the few television shows that I like, and there was a very interesting story line. The show has excellent actors and usually keeps me guessing. Not to promote, so I will just mention that the initials are CM and it rhymes with “minimal finds”…haha
The story line was about a man who had taken on so many identities in his life that he ended up disconnecting mentally and snapping trying to keep them all straight. I felt a kindred spirit and was prompted to think of my own life, and how being double minded has ever affected me. I am pretty sure that anyone who has read my about page knows I don’t hold back about my personal struggles, and that I say what is on my mind. Not to offend anyone, that is just how I am wired. Sometimes it works for me, and sometimes against me. It is what it is.

However I often think of a scripture verse form the book of James, that reminds us that a double minded man (person) is unstable in ALL of their ways. Not a few ways, not occasionally, but unstable in ALL our ways. That is a little scary to process, as I think anyone can spot some double mindedness in ourselves. At least I can.
We all have to have a base, a foundation, an anchor to hold on to lest we burst free into an uncontrollable realm of endless choices. Everyone needs to have a home base. My home base happens to be scripture. That is how I measure myself against what is good, what is right and wrong. Am I saying I always make the right choices? No, no way. I am like a boat that is anchored to the dock, but has a long rope attached, and sometimes find myself adrift in the hard and cold waves, wishing I had stayed at the dock. That is a painful way to live and it always makes things harder than they need to be. Yet I daily find myself having to re-direct my thoughts or actions, to try to stay at the dock.

Things just don’t work when they are done the wrong way, with wrong intentions, or with impure motives. I know because I have experienced the failure of living that way. We can have everything on the surface that makes people ” think” that we have it all together; nice cars, homes, families and all- but what lies deep within is what really matters. Whether you are a CEO reading this, or a blogger like me, a salesman or whatever- makes no difference. We are all vulnerable to crumbling as a result of double mindedness.
I happened to flip on another program after CM, and it had a similar but different storyline. This show is mega popular, and attempts to make inappropriate lifestyles ” fit” to the everyday viewer. It is the first major show to lay out a twisted rendition of how “normal” families should be. However, the problem is that it is still wrong. My wrong bell still went off, even though it was on television and people watch it. Making something popular has nothing to do with whether it is right or wrong. No connection at all, yet I see the world trying to make things appear right, when we all know the truth.

Adopting the world’s mindset is dangerous, and most of the people who do it simply do not have a dock to go back to, so they drift like waves in the sea, bumping, bruising, and wondering why life is so confusing. It really is not confusing. it is our rebellion to do the right things that cause confusion, heartache and pain.

I have worked with literally thousands of people as a social worker and troubleshooter over the years, and I found that we all have some things in common as humans.

1- We often take the hard road, only to fail and then question why we failed, or even blame God or our spouses or someone else.

2- We are very much allured by the popularity of things in this world. Often, many of us are like sheep that follow the next sheep wherever it goes, and when the cliff is right there one sheep follows the other right off.

3- We don’t realize we are swimming upstream in this world when we choose to do what is right, and not to do what is wrong. If you have ever paddled a canoe upstream, you are well aware that you may not stop paddling without an immediate shove downstream by the current. Every day, we have to decide what we will dwell on, what we will allow, what we will do and actually follow through with it. We may get this boat back to the dock yet!

So if you are experiencing trouble in your mind, and confusion then you might be double minded in a certain area of your life. Identify it, address it, and keep paddling. Most of all, make sure you have a home base! Without structure, we all will fail. People often say to that they have children that need structure because they have a tendency to act out. I then ask them if they have structure in THEIR life!
If you are an adult, and you still doubt that you need boundaries to be successful, to survive, then consider the following scenario as if it were real;

All stop lights and speed limits are no more!

Do you know how scared we would all be to go anywhere? People going in every direction, flying through traffic with no idea where they are headed, and just one big deadly bumper car game. We would not make it. We need the structure. The same holds true in our daily lives.

I once heard a story of a man who wanted to purchase a high rise condominium somewhere so high up that the cars looked like ants in the parking lot. He was escorted to the newly finished building by the developer, and they rode the elevator to the top floor. As he walked in to the condo he was amazed, impressed and could not believe the awesome décor and beauty. A few minutes late the developer opened the patio door, hoping to seal the deal with a super high breath-taking view of the ocean. The man walked out on to the porch and after about one step on the deck, he ran backwards into the condo! The developer asked him what was wrong. The man responded ” Where is the little fence around that deck? The developer smiled and said ” Oh, we just have not put that in yet, but we will next week”. The man was horrified and left the property as he was so scared of what he saw. What did he see? He saw a place with no limits, no boundaries, and it scared him to death. The truth is, the little decorative fence they use on most patios are cosmetic, and would not stop someone from falling over. They look nice and they give us an idea of where to stop while we are in that place.

We all need little boundaries in each areas of our lives. Reminders of where right and wrong, good and bad are. We all have a boat, and we all need to keep paddling back to the dock, so we can live with some peace and hope. It sure beats being busted and disgusted all the time.

That’s what I hear anyways! 🙂


Author: (Don't Label My Kid! Coaching & Counseling Team)

Social Worker- Mental Health, Addictions, and Behavioral health- Leadership Educator-, Juvenile Justice. A variety of coaching. I have a great desire to help others make it through times that I myself have had to navigate. I understand the process, the pain,and the support needed. I, and the rest of my team all have both the formal education to coach others but more importantly we also have the life experience which allows us to relate to all the phases and hurdles that come with recovering from issues like depression, addiction, domestic violence, spiritual confusion, and much more. I feel that the combination of formal training and life experience allows us to meet those we help every point of need- in a real way.

3 thoughts on “Are You Double Minded? Fail Much?”

  1. Good job on hinting at the popular TV show…:)
    It can be crazy or troubling to follow or seek guidance from Hollywood..makes the things you are dealing with seem acceptable as you stated, but who knows better ought to do better. VW.

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