Depression expressed….

I scream out with my voice to be heard,

I reach out with my hands to be touched,

I push my heart outside of my chest to know love.

My voice is not heard, my hands never touched and my heart stays lonely.

I have seen that nobody is looking, nobody is touching, nobody is loving.

Thats how it is in my world. I weep for real hope, but it escapes me.

I pray for a way to make it through the day, I weep again.

I love but cannot feel love, I touch but cannot feel touch and I scream cannot hear.

 

My only hope is I will one day be able to enter the world that people around me live in,

to know real living. They think I can hear, they think I feel love, and they think I can feel ,

but I stare into their world through a thick colored glass, hardly able to see even movement.

I look at others through a dark fog, and feel the heaviness of that fog covering my heart.

The fog is so very tiring, and I feel like giving up. I do not and cannot bear the burden of my

own load, and am looking for a way to clarity, i want to see, touch and feel. I want to be seen

and be touched…

and heard. My soul is in the dark night, shall I enter into the darkness or shall I run fast

through it until light comes?

I think about this everyday, and wonder which I will choose. Every day, all day actually. I

weep from the very depths of my being,

but am unable to give up. I will not give up, I cannot give up I have come too far now.

My children make me smile, my life has purpose if for them alone, yet I often wonder what

will I do.

It is here where the crossroad is at, where I make the choice to give up or try again, to lay it

down or press on.

My options are few and my time is short. I cannot go on like this, so I give up.

My final decision is to give up completely, take a deep breath, look back at the good things in

my life, the hope that exists –

in what I have already acquired. It is almost over now, I feel relief, but scared as well. So

goodbye, to my fears, goodbye to my regrets.

I am deciding to give it all up.

Today I rise up and grab the arm of another, but to help them. I scream as well, but out of happiness for a good thing that happened

to a friend. I share my handicapped heart, as I pour it into another life to encourage them. I

am beginning to feel, and hear. My God…

what is happening to me. I am the one in need. I have waited and longed for many things, my

suffering has been greater than others.

I dont understand. I am a wounded healer. My senses are restored by helping others in the

same need I have. I am glad I gave up!

Hope is glimmering through the cracks of my mind, and the numbness is turning to feeling. I

weep again.

I weep for joy that I take in the comforting of others, but is this a trick? It does not make

sense. I fall back into darkness once again,

and quickly jump away, as I have tasted the sweetness of the senses now. I wont go back. I

will not go back.

I refuse to believe what I am telling myself, and press to what I know to be true.

I am feeling by giving touch, and hearing by listening.

My heart is touched by touching a heart.

I love my life.

–anonymous

 

Author: www.dontlabelmykid.blog (Don't Label My Kid! Coaching & Counseling Team)

Social Worker- Mental Health, Addictions, and Behavioral health- Leadership Educator-, Juvenile Justice. A variety of coaching. I have a great desire to help others make it through times that I myself have had to navigate. I understand the process, the pain,and the support needed. I, and the rest of my team all have both the formal education to coach others but more importantly we also have the life experience which allows us to relate to all the phases and hurdles that come with recovering from issues like depression, addiction, domestic violence, spiritual confusion, and much more. I feel that the combination of formal training and life experience allows us to meet those we help every point of need- in a real way.

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